We Are Made Free to Love, Not Judge

We Are Made Free to Love, Not Judge

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She sipped her tea, then set the cup down and asked, “Do you think it really matters in the big scheme of things?”

I stared back at her while clutching my coffee cup, realizing just how worried I’d become.

Having grown up with multiple moves from one state to another, and then even overseas and back, I constantly felt like I didn’t know what the rules were wherever we landed. I was always playing catch up — always breaking rules without meaning to, always feeling like there was another unspoken rule I’d missed. All the while, I held an enormous amount of rules in mind that transcended continents and cultures.

It wasn’t that I hadn’t learned any rules – there were just so many. And on the surface, they often conflicted with one another. Everywhere I went, the rules changed. What was important to say or do in one place was laughable in another. What held weight and meaning in one city, went unnoticed in another.

For example, in Korean culture, no one cares if you eat with your mouth open. Food is a love language and food is often shared. I grew up with my mom feeding me to say she loves me. My mom grew up knowing what it was like to be hungry. Small rules about whether one’s mouth is open or not seem silly with that context in mind. To prohibit any expression of love would be considered cold and rude. However, in Euro-centric settings, it’s heavily frowned upon to chew with one’s mouth open. To do so is considered something that makes others uncomfortable and therefore, it’s inhospitable.

I could list a million more examples from shoes to the right way to eat noodles. When you are an American who embodies more than one culture and was raised with values from more than one place and people group, as many Americans are, it can be difficult to decide what rules to follow. For me, it’s been tempting to throw out everything or to pick one way over the other, which ultimately leads to communicating that one people group or culture is better than another. And that can lead to even bigger problems in the long run.

I looked back at my friend that day over breakfast, and said, “I guess I’m worried that I’ll be judged by one group or another, according to their rules.”

As I said this, I thought about all the times Jesus was asked about the rules, whether with honest intention, curiosity, or ulterior motives. In response, Jesus often surprised those who questioned Him. Instead of affirming a hard and fast rule or condemning one group of people over another, Jesus told stories or directed His listeners to examine their hearts and His own.

When asked about the specifics of the law by those who prided themselves on their knowledge of it, Jesus led them back to His heartbeat.

One of their religion scholars spoke for them, posing a question they hoped would show him up: “Teacher, which command in God’s Law is the most important?”

Jesus said, “‘Love the Lord your God with all your passion and prayer and intelligence.’ This is the most important, the first on any list. But there is a second to set alongside it: ‘Love others as well as you love yourself.’ These two commands are pegs; everything in God’s Law and the Prophets hangs from them.”
Matthew 22:34-40 The Messsage

Instead of picking a side or staying stuck in my cycle of worry over being judged, I moved in my mind to sit at Jesus’s feet. Jesus doesn’t ever ask us to choose a side or prove who’s on the right or wrong side. He tells those who judge to drop their stones, examine their hearts, and go home.

I left breakfast that morning a little lighter, a little more aware of the nearness of Jesus and the freedom I have to love with my whole heart and let that be my guide – it was enough.

Listen to today’s devotion below or wherever you stream podcasts.

Is the Playlist of Your Life Building Up or Destroying?

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It’s easy to walk into a room and bring with me whatever it is that I’m thinking about. I can carry in joy on a sunny day because I’ve been driving with the windows down and my favorite tunes have been playing on my way to wherever I’m going. I can just as easily carry darkness and frustration if somebody cut me off or my air conditioning wasn’t working or someone said something to me that got me in a weird headspace.

We are real people full of real feelings and while that isn’t a bad thing in and of itself, I think sometimes I let my feelings get a hold of me in a way that I might reconsider if I actually took the time to be considerate.

Years ago, I was on a call with some colleagues and one of them posed this very important question that I haven’t been able to get out of my head ever since: What is it like to be on the receiving end of me?

You see, when I walk into a room and I bring all of my feelings, good, bad, or ugly, I’m not often asking that question. I’m not considering the fact that perhaps someone is having a bad day and I am making it worse by telling them how amazing things are going for me. I’m also not considering that perhaps someone is having a wonderful day and I’m about to bring them down by pointing out everything that’s going wrong. While our feelings are fleeting and we don’t have to let them totally control us, they still do have a way of coloring the world around us, don’t they?

On a podcast I was listening to today, the host brought up the fact that songs that are sad stream at much higher rates most likely because sad songs get listened to on repeat in a way that happy ones do not. When we are feeling big and challenging emotions, we tend to pull out our standby sad playlists and lean in hard to process.

Let’s be honest: there is something deep in our being that wants to amplify the emotions we are carrying. We want to nurture them and grow them. We don’t just want to be a little bit one way or the other, but we want to set a tone around us based on what we feel. If we are sad, the world is dark. If we are happy, the world is magic. No matter our state, the playlist must reflect it.

As a creative person, I understand this urge completely. I understand the desire that we have to live a life that feels authentic to our experience with depth and meaning. But sometimes, we don’t think about the collateral damage that our search for meaning may be creating. What if, while we are creating worlds in our mind of the perceived reality that we are walking through on a daily basis, we are actually inviting others into something that is not for their good? What if we are, in reality, encouraging cynicism or hopelessness or, to be fair, encouraging a fake happiness or pretend way about us that ignores the gravity of a situation?

When we engage with our friends, neighbors, or family members, we are not only bringing ourselves to the table, but also the messages that we are telling ourselves, the feelings we are cultivating, and the playlists we have curated that set the tone for each interaction. When I walk into a room and I have been festering in my bitterness, it not only affects my own heart but it actually could potentially infect someone else’s. Yes, we are all responsible for our own feelings and reactions and responses, but as sisters, we also belong to one another.

The Bible tells us in Ephesians 4 that we are members of one body and that even though we have different parts, we all come together for one purpose. I wonder what would happen if we saw our entrance into each situation or conversation or space as an opportunity to invite others toward goodness and beauty and Truth. What if we saw each connection point with another human as a way of existing honestly while also seeking out the best in others?

Friend, we do not walk into our days from a place of total neutrality. Everything that we do will do one of four things: it will exhort, explain, expose, or exploit. We can use our presence and our words to encourage someone and cheer them toward the truth. We can use our wisdom to help others understand something that perhaps they did not know about before. We can bring to light realities that may have gone hidden without their unveiling. And we can also manipulate, slander, and pull people apart in ways that are not healthy.

Psalm 139 talks about being so very honest with God that you’re willing to have him check your work, so to speak. The psalmist writes, “See if there is any offensive way in me!” Can you imagine that level of being known and called out?

And it doesn’t stop there. The next line is, “…and lead me in the way everlasting.” One translation (NCV) says, “Lead me on the road to everlasting life.”

We are at an intersection of life and circumstances, friend. And we’re sitting here, tunes blaring and heart pounding and shouting the lyrics of the songs we choose and we have a big choice to make: Will I use my words and my presence to build or to destroy? Will I explain or expose or exploit or exhort?

Here’s hoping we pause long enough to invite God to lead us on the road to everlasting life.

Listen to today’s devotion below or wherever you stream podcasts.

Don’t Let Old Jeans Make You Keep Looking Back

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I recently found my favorite pair of jeans from college. When I tried to put them on, I quickly realized they weren’t coming up past my thighs. I stared at the long mirror on the back of my closet door, examining the curves of my hips, the cellulite on my thighs, and the stretchmarks on my waist. This body wasn’t how I remembered it. Tears, anger, and frustration flowed as I peered at my reflection. 

Later that week, I was working with an older gentleman who needed physical therapy for weakness and balance. He reminisced about how he’d played college sports and how now his body was practically useless. I urged him to focus on his present abilities and how far he’d come in therapy. I encouraged him to honor his body for what it was today instead of comparing it to its past.

When I saw my old jeans later, I realized so much had changed in twelve years, including my pant size: marriage, a career, two babies, travel — I’d lived so much life! I decided to take my own advice and honor who I am today. I wouldn’t resent my body for not meeting an unrealistic goal or punish it through dieting. I would ditch the old jeans and stop looking back. Then I thought of Lot’s wife.

She was promised to be saved from destruction if she fled without looking back. Sadly, she looked back and turned into a pillar of salt. She had a guaranteed future, but she glanced back at what had brought her comfort instead of focusing on what was ahead.

Often the “glory days” or the “good ol’ days” make it hard to find contentment in the present. It’s hard to step into an unknown future when we live in the comfort of yesterday’s memories.

Friend, God’s not done with you. He isn’t disappointed that you’re different today than you were ten years ago. He wants you just the way you are, right now — cellulite and all. So, no more turning back.

“Forgetting what lies behind and reaching forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 3:13–14 NASB

By Simi John, as published in 100 Days of Strength in Any Struggle

Today’s devotion comes from our book, 100 Days of Strength in Any Struggle. And it’s not too late to join our Summer Study! Every weekday from now until July 12, you can find encouragement and community in our private Facebook Group. Hop on LIVE at 9 am CT or watch the replay any time of day.

Find all the details here, or just head over to the Facebook group to jump in!

Still need a copy of the book? Grab yours at DaySpring.com, Amazon, or your fave book retailer.

We all need daily reminders that God is working in every struggle we face, and He wants to give us the endless strength of His presence and divine perspective. Let this be the summer you experience Him like never before.

TELL US:
1. Have you joined the Summer Study yet?
2. Do you have an old pair of jeans or a tendency to look back that you need to ditch?
3. What comes to mind when you hear the words, “God’s not done with you”?

We’d love to hear! And we hope to see you here!

Listen to today’s devotion below or wherever you stream podcasts.

Morning Will Come, But God Won’t Leave in the Night

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For ten minutes, I stared at my phone screen in awe as friends across the country shared pictures of the northern lights dancing in the sky. I scrolled, captured by the wonder, until an image from my own town filled the screen and suddenly I couldn’t get outside fast enough. Pulling a sweatshirt over my pajamas, I slipped my feet into sandals and stepped outside, eyes up, eager and expectant.

There was no denying the crystal clear shot of pink I saw online that stretched above my friend’s apartment rooftop mere miles away, a muted but still present surprise on a Friday night in Alabama. The northern lights traveled south, a sight many never have the chance to see, and my smile stretched wide as I hurried down the steps, ready to bear witness.

A deep, dark blue waited for me. Turning in circles, I pulled out the compass app on my phone to make sure that, yes, I was definitely facing the right direction. With hope still rising inside, I raised my phone to take pictures of what appeared to be an extremely ordinary evening sky. Maybe the colors would show when seen through the camera lens, I thought.

But still, nothing.

I waited, I watched, and eventually, I turned to walk back inside. The sky above was its regular nighttime blue, and instead of a rainbow, the captured images showed an oddly pixelated smear.

The wind caught my hair, strands blowing across my face, and I thought of my friend standing under the same sky. It’s wild, isn’t it? How two people can have a very different experience of the very same thing – a conversation, an illness, a celebration, even the northern lights. And it’s true, isn’t it, that grief can unexpectedly color a year and smear itself over absolutely everything yet remain largely unseen by the naked eye.

But as I zoomed in on the image, the strangest thing took my breath away. Two thoughts arrived in quick succession, one right after the other:

Man, that’s a bummer…

Huh, that’s kinda pretty though…

The tension of the two together surprised me more than the northern lights traveling south.

Disappointment and sadness understandably appeared, but curiosity and unexpected appreciation for the blurry beauty quickly followed. Like a pair of glasses with one near-sighted and one far-sighted lens, both had something to say but neither told the full story.

Don’t get me wrong, I’d prefer the rainbow and not the smear, the delight and not the disappointment. I’d rather receive the surprise of bright colors dancing in the sky than the deep, dark blue. After a decade of waiting and asking God to bring physical healing to a chronic illness… after thousands of prayers that God would restore the years the locusts have eaten… after hoping for a miracle for so very long… of course I’d pick that in a heartbeat, wouldn’t hesitate to choose the light and not the night.

What I’ve come to know, though, is that God is in the night too. He’s present in the blur and the smear, holding us close in the surprise we didn’t want and would never choose, looking at us with kindness as we lift our heads and look up with hope, helping us see the beauty that still is and always will be.

Maybe one day I’ll see the northern lights and I’ll be so amazed that I dance below the dancing sky. Maybe one day the longed-for answer to long-prayed prayers will arrive. For now, though, the assurance that God is with us in both – bearing witness to joy that can’t be contained and grief that’s mostly unseen, with us as we weep and as we rejoice – is manna for the day and a refuge in the night.

Psalm 139:12 (ESV) says, “Even the darkness is not dark to you; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with you” and Psalm 74:16 (NIV) declares, “The days is yours, and yours also the night.”

Scripture is clear: darkness exists. But the repeated promise remains: we won’t face the night alone.

It may seem like we’ve been waiting for morning for a very long time, but we have not been left behind or lost, forgotten or abandoned. His eyes remain on us, His presence ever with us, no matter how deep or long or dark the night.

One day not too long from now, the “night will be no more” (Revelation 22:5). But for now, for today and tonight and tomorrow, we can rest assured that yes, joy is going to come with the dawn… but God isn’t going to leave us during the night.

He sees us, and He will sing us through the shadows until morning arrives.

For more encouragement in the messy, blurry middle, pick up a copy of Kaitlyn’s book. Even If Not will help you shift from the suspicion that God isn’t kind or present to the truth found in Scripture: on every single page of the story, He is with us and working all things for good.

Listen to today’s devotion below or wherever you stream podcasts!

Encouragement for the Lonely Ones

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O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord.
You go before me and follow me.
You place your hand of blessing on my head.
Such knowledge is too wonderful for me,
too great for me to understand!
Psalm 139:1-6 (NLT)

At the core of loneliness is often the idea that we are not known by someone. Even if we were in a crowd of people or with a group of friends, we can still feel lonely because we may not have a deep relationship with them or the time spent together didn’t foster the intimacy we ache for.

This is where Psalm 139 is a balm.

God knows our hearts and minds. He knows where we are and He knows our restlessness to be somewhere else. He knows our thoughts. So we are without words? He still understands. God goes before us, is with us, and assures us of His presence — His blessing on us.

When you are lonely, remember we have a God who knows us intimately and loves us wholly.

When the Noise of the World Is Overwhelming

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I live in a Los Angeles suburb with a small-town feel. You can’t enjoy a latte at Classic Coffee without seeing someone you know. But for all the quaint charm, I often feel achingly overwhelmed.

Life presses from all sides. I can’t seem to keep track of Little League schedules or who to drop where or when. I run to Walmart and remind myself to breathe in the congested aisles when fluorescent lights flicker and I start to feel drifty and can’t remember what’s on my list.

I live a beautiful, ordinary, busy life, but it sometimes leaves me feeling wrung out. I’m a sensitive person, and the incessant lights and noise and hustle make my soul weary. I struggle to stay connected to God and others when all I want to do is retreat into a quiet cocoon.

And God isn’t surprised. Instead, He invites me away. He beckons me to the trail. Just five minutes from our house sits a beautiful canyon. Tall pines, oaks with twisted branches, and lush ferns line the trail. I let my husband and sons walk ahead. I enjoy their laughter and banter. Then I block it out and listen to the insects I can’t see and the rustle of the breeze playing in the trees.

Here I don’t have to remember to breathe. I don’t have to check anything off a list or battle the busyness. Here I feel close to God. Praise and prayer pour out of my soul as my feet pad the trail. I remember that my weariness is welcomed and the God of the canyon is also Lord of my life.

When life is too loud or too rushed . . .
When you feel surrounded but all alone . . .
God knows.
He invites you to breathe. On a park bench, a sandy shore, or a shady trail, find a way to spend a little time in the beauty He made. Surely, you’ll find yourself praising His name.

“Sing a new song to the Lord!
Let the whole earth sing to the Lord!
Sing to the Lord; praise His name.
Each day proclaim the good news that He saves. “
Psalm 96:1–2 NLT

Today’s devotion comes from our book, 100 Days of Strength in Any Struggle. And it’s not too late to join our Summer Study! Find all the details here, or just head over to the Facebook group to jump in! Still need a copy of the book? Grab yours at DaySpring.com, Amazon, or your fave book retailer.

We all need daily reminders that God is real and He cares about our struggles. His comfort, support, and strength are available in abundance. Let this be the summer you experience Him like never before.

Celebrate Good Times, Come On!

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During our early years of marriage, my husband and I had an inside joke that when the going got tough, I’d lean into “more fun Schmidt.” I actively chose celebration as a way to call out God’s goodness and faithfulness in our lives, even when times were hard.

Recently our family snuggled on the sofas and reflected on what the Lord had done this past year. We voiced hope, expectation, and even apprehension for the upcoming season.

I always look forward to these times of open sharing with our adult children, but this time was different. A subtle role reversal shift occurred as I laid my heart bare. “I’ve lost a bit of myself.”

I went on to share, “I feel like I’ve lost a bit of my sparkle. I’m wondering how my Pollyanna, glass-more-than-half-full personality has slowly leaked out. You all know I love to laugh, have fun, and encourage others, but this year I don’t recognize that girl as much and I need to find her. I want to be Jennifer ‘More Fun’ Schmidt once again.”

Who wants their mom to admit that? 

The following week a friend called out to me in the church lobby.

“Jen, when we first met, I didn’t know your last name. Look how I added you to my contacts.” She showed me her phone which said, ‘Jen – my fun friend.’ She explained, “You bring the joy and the smiles wherever you go.”

The Lord uses all sorts of ways to get our attention and a lobby connection reminded me of my call to celebrate and embrace some fun. Regardless of how I feel, I am still His joy-filled daughter because His Spirit dwells in me. 

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you trust in him, so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit.” Romans 15:13

Throughout Scripture, the Hebrew translation for “celebrate” reminds us to rejoice, to praise, to sing, and to prepare a feast. But how does Jen “More Fun” Schmidt reemerge when celebration seems unrecognizable?

God’s Word instructs us to stop and remember. Remember what God has done. Remember that this season doesn’t last for a lifetime. Remember His faithfulness through all generations and celebrate His goodness – both personally and collectively.

Dance, feast, hope, rest, laugh, worship. Celebration looks different for everyone, but Christians should be an alleluia from head to foot, as Saint Augustine reminds us. Yet often, we aren’t known for fun and celebration.

I desire to be known as a joy giver.

This isn’t an instruction to dismiss or pretend our challenging circumstances aren’t relevant. Just the opposite. During a time of excruciating loss and suffering, the first recorded celebration began with the Passover. God delivered the Israelites from slavery, gave hope for the future, and then instructed them to continue celebrating throughout the year: a perpetual remembrance for all future generations.

“This is a day you are to commemorate, for the generations to come you shall celebrate it as a festival to the Lord — a lasting ordinance.”
Exodus 12:14 NIV

So in the process of leaning into Jen “More Fun” Schmidt, I chose to view celebration as a spiritual discipline. To celebrate in response and remembrance. To celebrate with rhythms of welcome, kindness, and encouragement to others. 

Celebration cultivates joy. Joy harnesses hope. Hope renews your soul and, amidst that renewal, your soul magnifies the Lord.

While I’d love to throw a real-life party for us all to have more fun, let’s create a virtual one in the comments. Will you let me celebrate and champion you?

Together as women of joyous celebration, I want to remind you what it feels like to have women in your corner who can’t wait to hear your good news. I am cranking up old school Kool and the Gang’s song, “Celebration” and kicking off the party because I don’t have enough fun. If no one else celebrates you this week, let us be those girlfriends who come behind you and throw a virtual party in your honor.  

Share your news. Please don’t be shy. You’re not bragging. Let’s shout from the rooftops the goodness He’s doing in your life. Celebrate a move or a milestone. Share your progress or potential, your promotion or perseverance. Let’s rejoice in an adversity that you’re turning over to Him. Let’s shout from the rooftops something fun or silly that you had the opportunity to experience. Nothing is too small. I’d love to laugh.

We need to hear the story of how the Lord is using your small steps; in turn, it will be an encouragement to all your sisters here. 

I’ll go first and meet you in the comments.

And imagine you hear the music and you’re singing with me… “Celebrate good times, come on! There’s a party going on right here, a celebration to last throughout the years. So bring your good times and your laughter too. We gonna celebrate your party with you.”

Listen to today’s devotion below or on your favorite podcast player.

Overcome Rejection and Remember Who God Says You Are

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For years, I struggled with feeling abandoned, rejected, and unworthy. It was my parents’ constant neglect and ultimate abandonment that left a mark on me as a child. I have fought hard, with the help of prayer and therapy, to find healing from it all. 

The thought that I was never wanted has been my biggest struggle. I felt like my birth was an inconvenience to two individuals who didn’t want me and were now faced with the added burden of raising me. I often wondered explicitly about my mother’s thoughts and emotions around her pregnancy with me and my birth. She was just a teenager, and I couldn’t help but wonder if there was any part of her that wanted me or if I was the worst thing to happen to her. 

A few months ago, during a visit with my mother, she shared a story that touched, inspired, and surprised me. 

(Note: My relationship with my mom is layered and complex. There have been seasons where we didn’t communicate at all — either because of her choosing or mine. But I’ve decided that, with boundaries in place, love wins. I want to love my mother well now despite the heartache and grief in our past.).  

So as we sat across from each other at her beautifully decorated dining room table enjoying a soda, without any prompting, she opened up about her struggles with miscarriages and her strong desire to have a child, specifically a daughter. Against her doctor’s advice, she was determined to make her dream a reality. She shared that many years ago, during a Wednesday night women’s prayer meeting back in rural Guatemala, she was prayed for by another woman who stood in faith with her for a child. 

That night, my mother received a prophetic word promising her a daughter with many plans and purposes for her life. My mother shared that it was the best night of her young life. A promise, a blessing. 

A few weeks later, she confirmed that she was indeed pregnant. Months later, I arrived. A daughter. 

As she shared her story with tears in her eyes, she looked at me and said, “Ligia, you were prayed for, believed for, and wanted.” Those words echoed in my mind for weeks. 

I was prayed for, believed for, and wanted. I was a promise kept.

In the weeks following this healing moment, the Lord brought me to some life-changing realizations. The Lord helped me understand that I was not only wanted by my mother but also by the Creator Himself. Before I even existed, I was in His plans, and He had a specific purpose for my life (Ephesians 1:11-12).

I also realized that the devil had used my mother’s mistakes to label me with a false identity — one that I accepted because I failed to recognize that I am not defined by my experiences or others’ decisions towards me. Instead, I am defined by who the Lord says I am: a child of God, His daughter (John 1:12-13).

Lastly, I came to understand that even though my abandonment as a child was heartbreaking to God, it did not catch Him off guard. Our God is so intentional that He even knows the number of hairs on my head (Luke 12:7) and has collected all my tears in His bottle (Psalm 56:8). He is also sovereign and, even though He has the power to spare me from pain, He chose instead to step into my pain with me and through it gifted me a story that speaks to His salvation, healing, and redemption. 

We will likely encounter things we may never fully understand or find answers to. Pain and heartbreak can be so intense and profound that, at times, we feel like we can’t move forward. We may even feel like the world would be better off without us. I have been in that place, my friend, and I understand what you are going through. 

However, I can also confidently proclaim that Jesus is greater than all of it. 

The Creator of the universe wants you. He has plans and purposes for your life and wants to heal your pain. Please remember that your past does not define you, nor do your mistakes and failures or the mistakes and failures of others. You were bought at a price and are loved, seen, and heard by Jesus. 

You, too, are a promise given and a promise kept.

Listen to today’s devotion below or wherever you stream podcasts.

If You Ever Ask, “Shouldn’t I Be Farther Along by Now?”

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I’m sitting in a coffee shop on a lovely morning. I open my laptop and immediately feel my heart rate speed up. The day has just begun and I already feel behind. I worry I’m not doing enough, fast enough, and that somehow I’m messing up God’s will for my life. Shouldn’t I be farther along by now?

It feels vulnerable to share that here, yet I have a feeling I might not be the only one who’s ever felt that way. If that sounds like you too, let’s take a breath and tell ourselves something new:

You’re where you’re supposed to be, doing what you’re supposed to do.

That is true no matter how much pressure from social media you feel. It’s true no matter what expectations have been placed on you. It’s true even if you’ve messed up, taken detours, doubted yourself, and second-guessed your decisions a thousand times.

Let’s take a look at the story of the Apostle Paul in Scripture. He encounters Jesus on the road to Damascus, and surely he’s instantly launched into ministry, right? Not so much. Rather, Paul says, “After three years I went up to Jerusalem” and “Then after fourteen years, I went up again to Jerusalem” (Galatians 1:18, 2:1 NIV).

It took Paul almost twenty more years to officially start his God-given mission, even though he was clearly called.

At age twelve, Mary and Joseph found Jesus, “in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers” (Luke 2:46-47).

It took Jesus almost twenty more years to officially start His God-given mission, even though He was clearly called.

Scholars estimate David was between ten and fifteen years old when the prophet Samuel said this shepherd boy would be the future leader of God’s people. “The Lord said, ‘Rise and anoint him; this is the one’” (1 Samuel 16:12). Yet David would not become king of Israel until age thirty.

It took David almost twenty more years to officially start his God-given mission, even though he was clearly called.

As humans, we’re so often in a hurry. We want to do things now. But the God we serve has limitless time. He is the crafter of eternity. He does not worry about being early or late. He is not confined by seconds or minutes, hours, or a lifetime.

We can become obsessed with “wasting” time because we sense we have so little of it. Yet aren’t we part of eternity too? God knows what you’ll be doing a thousand years from now, a million, a trillion. Why should He be worried when you stop for five minutes to laugh with someone you love, to nap in the sun, to read a book, or to make soup?

God wasn’t concerned when the Savior of the world made a chair or a wooden spoon instead of preaching a sermon. He didn’t wring His hands when David wrote poetry in the wilderness. He didn’t tell the Apostle Paul to hustle when he still had healing to do from years of following a legalistic religious system.

Our great and tender God is not trying to force you to maximize your life. He is instead inviting you to intimacy with Him in every moment. His rhythm is one of love and grace at a pace that won’t destroy your soul. He’s not asking you to try harder or do more. He spoke the world into being — what trouble does He ever have with His to-do list?

You are not doing anything wrong if it seems like it is taking a long time to fully step into your calling even though you know what God wants you to do.

Jesus was perfect, and God’s plan for His life still did not move fast. David was chosen, and God’s will for him was still a long process not an instant event. Paul had a supernatural encounter that left him changed forever, and God’s ministry in his life still unfolded over decades not days.

God, from a human perspective, is often wildly inefficient. He cares more about eternity than efficiency. You can cast off the guilt you sometimes feel for not going far enough, fast enough. It is not from the Maker of your soul.

Breathe deep. Be where you are. Call it enough. It is an act of faith to trust you are where you are supposed to be today, doing what you are supposed to be doing.

If writing has always been a dream for you, it’s not too late. Holley’s online writing course will help you take your next steps! Learn more here.

Listen to today’s devotion below or wherever you stream the (in)courage podcast!

The Paper Cuts of a Longing Heart

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Paper cuts hurt more than other cuts.

Though small, they sting — they demand attention. My daughter will tell you that, as sure as the sky is blue, paper cuts are the worst. In fact, when my daughter was three years old, she once went on a tirade about a paper cut, right in the middle of a cello recital. She grimaced on her tiny stool, stood up, and then held up her middle finger to show her paper cut to the entire room. Her grandparents and I gasped. We knew then just how much she hated paper cuts.

Recently, though, I watched her struggle with a new type of sting — the sting of biting, small words from girls in the fourth grade. 

“Just go,” I motioned to her, nudging her to walk home with a group of girls from class. After hesitating for a moment, she handed me her backpack, water bottle, and an additional tote filled with music and library books. She hurried across the street and onto the sidewalk to meet the other girls. I walked home and met up with her later, thinking it all went well. 

You see, just four months ago, we moved. It wasn’t our plan to move into a new district in the middle of the school year but, alas, the housing market seemed opportune. I thought this was it, and I even saw this as a new opportunity for my ten-year-old to make new friends and connections.

But then, the day after my daughter met up with those girls, I noticed her eager demeanor dissipated. I nudged her their way. No response. I motioned again, suggesting she make the connection and walk with these girls. Only this time, I received the same grimace my daughter gave me when she was three and nursing a paper cut in the middle of her cello recital.

We walked home in silence. Then, the tirade happened in our house’s entryway. Words spilled out, heartbreaking confessions about friendship formations and her exclusion from them — the paper cuts of a longing heart. 

I didn’t help the issue much. I offered solutions far too readily. Love and grace weren’t extended. It’s a silly paper cut, after all. But I quickly realized that, when it came to mending a heart, stricken by loss and grief, I needed to acknowledge my daughter.

She begged me to see this slight hurt, and so when I met up with her again after school the next day, I decided not to nudge. Surprisingly, I overheard one of the fourth-grade girls whisper while gesturing at my daughter. “Oh look, here she comes,” she said.

While my daughter never saw the motion, I watched in horror as the girls scattered to exclude my daughter from the group. Then I was the one with a paper cut . . . and a vengeful heart. I finally understood my daughter’s pain, and soon bitterness began clouding my judgment of these girls who gifted my daughter a broken heart. But, being an adult, I was reminded of this truth:

Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32

When my daughter was three, I tended to her wound by wrapping it with a brightly-colored bandage. So, this time around, when my daughter’s teacher revealed all that had transpired, and a note extending forgiveness came home, we tended to her wound by wrapping it with a brightly-colored note of forgiveness that we sent right back. 

While the sting needed a moment to heal, it no longer held our attention. “I’m sorry this happened,” I said. “You know you’re loved by us and Jesus, too, right?” She smiled. Her arms wrapped around my waist, and she squeezed with all her might. 

“Yes,” she replied. “I can be kind and compassionate, too.”

It turns out, she must have taken the words from Ephesians 4:31-32 to heart.

Bitterness does not need to overtake our already worn and achy hearts. Harboring resentment will only amplify our pain. May we remember the charge in the old song “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.” Indeed, it is a privilege to give our sorrows to the Prince of Grief. So, take your pain to the Lord in prayer.

He hears you . . . paper cuts and all.

Listen to today’s devotion below or wherever you stream podcasts.

Join Our Summer Study! (Strength for Any Struggle You Face)

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Your car needs new brakes.
Your rent got raised.
Your child is distant.
The cancer is back.

Your job is killing you.
Your partner left.
Depression is creeping its way back.

Your mom has dementia, your friendship fell through, your body is betraying you. You wonder why you can’t get it together, hold it all together.

You’re tired of feeling weak, weary, and alone. Your back is up against the wall, the world’s weight is on your shoulders. You just might break.

Does this resonate?

Our circumstances are all different but we can all agree that life is hard. Relationships are complex and brokenness comes in a thousand different shapes and shades. Thankfully, God doesn’t leave us to figure it out or fumble through alone.

His wisdom, joy, guidance, and strength are available to us right now, right where we are. And we want to experience it TOGETHER!

That’s why we’re teaming up with our friends at DaySpring’s Mary & Martha to bring you a special Summer Study (that starts TODAY!) through our devotional journal, 100 Days of Strength in Any Struggle.

Here are all the details you need:
What: 6-week Summer Study
When: Weekdays June 3 – July 12
Time: 9 a.m. CT
Where: This Facebook Group

Grab your copy of 100 Days of Strength in Any Struggle and then tune in to the Facebook Group every morning M-F at 9 a.m. CT for 15-30 minutes of LIVE encouragement and group interaction.

100 Days of Strength in Any Struggle is full of relatable stories, applicable Scriptures, and space to consider and record what the Lord is speaking to your heart and how He is strengthening you with His Spirit, comfort, love, and provision every single day.

You might be wondering…

  • Will there be replays if I can’t make it live? Yes! Pop into the group any time of day that works for you.
  • Can I participate if I don’t engage every day? Of course! Consistency often leads to meaningful transformation, but this study is meant to serve you however you need.
  • Who will lead the study? You’ll enjoy learning alongside a variety of Mary & Martha Ambassadors and (in)courage authors — all women who love Jesus and love you!
  • Will there be a schedule of what to read and which devotions will be discussed? Absolutely! You’ll find all the details in the Facebook group.
  • What if I don’t have Facebook? This study will be run exclusively on Facebook so a profile is needed to participate. But if social media is not your thing, we encourage you to grab a girlfriend, a sister, a daughter, or a coworker and form your own mini summer study to encourage one another. (You’ll be glad you did!)
  • Where can I get a copy of 100 Days of Strength in Any Struggle? Get your book on DaySpring, Amazon, or any book retailer you love.

Friends, whatever struggle you face today, we want to walk with you.

What if you could actually see God clearer and know Him deeper in the middle of your struggles?

What if you didn’t have to muster up more grit on your own but you could access all the strength God has to offer?

You can!

Click here to join the 100 Days of Strength in Any Struggle Facebook Group.

We can’t wait to see you there (and we can’t wait to see what God will do in your life over the next 6 weeks!)

Listen to the audio version below or on our daily (in)courage podcast!

This Is the First and Best Thing You Can Do

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“The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”
James 5:16 NIV

When friends or family are hurting, it’s easy to think, “I wish I could do something to really help. I wish I could make the situation better, but at least I can pray.”

What if prayer wasn’t the least you could do, but the most you could do?

As Becky Keife wrote in The Simple Difference,

“Prayer is not our last resort. It’s our best first response.”

God’s Word invites us to pray continually. And it promises that the prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective. That means when we are right with God — living surrendered to His will and receptive to His grace — then our prayers will be powerful and effective.

When someone we love is struggling (even if that person is yourself), the best thing we can do is take those concerns straight to Jesus. Then wait expectantly for what He alone can do.

Let’s practice this by praying together! Leave your prayer request in the comments and pray for the person before you.

Stimming and Spinning and Shining Your Light

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Our nineteen-year-old, non-verbal son, Thomas, is on the autism spectrum and thrives when we keep his routine and schedule — and Saturday is no exception.

His Saturday morning schedule? Chores, grocery shopping, and then a trip to the drive-thru for a specific order of fries and soda. Every single Saturday.

On a recent Saturday morning grocery excursion, our son caught sight of a display of colorful ink pens topped with hats that would spin around when you pressed a button. He quickly decided his course of action. 

  1. Pick up a pen. 
  2. Click the pen’s button. 
  3. Spin the pen’s hat. Wheeeeee!
  4. Repeat for each pen.  

His distinctive squeal of delight pierced the air of the aisle. I stood close by to appreciate his joy . . . and to protect him. In my experience, not everyone appreciates a man-child who is six feet tall and touches things in the grocery store. Not everyone understands the neurodiverse world of autism. Because of this, we are often the recipients of harsh looks and unsolicited comments.

As Thomas played with the pens, an older gentleman turned the corner and looked our way. He paused for a moment before pushing his cart towards us. I thought, “Oh no. Here we go again.” 

Here’s the thing, though. When it comes to autism and Thomas’ interactions with the world, we’ve landed on Luke 11:33 as our focus.

No one after lighting a lamp puts it in a cellar or under a basket, but on a stand, so that those who enter may see the light.
Luke 11:33 ESV

Thomas holds the light of God in him.  He is fearfully and wonderfully made in the image of God just like everyone else.  As Luke 11:33 says, Thomas isn’t to be hidden in a cellar or under a basket.  If I hid Thomas away, how would that show others that he has value? How would that show Thomas he has value?

An autism journey can be difficult. Sometimes it’s easier to hide. And, far too often, I do just that. Hide. 

But what if others know I have been there, too? 

My experiences on our autism journey can be used to light the way for another family looking for the hope of Jesus on their journey. I can offer comfort and compassion because I’ve been there.

As the gentleman in the grocery aisle continued toward us, I mentally checked my emotional energy tank — it was pretty low. Was it too late to run and hide? Did I really need those items on my grocery list? Why didn’t I put that invisibility cloak in my purse?

 I braced myself for what history has shown me would be an unsolicited lesson in parenting. The gentleman stopped, looked at me, and sighed. “My daughter is forty-two,” he said. “How old is your son?”

What followed was a brief conversation about his daughter and their journey as a family as she grew older. He told me I was doing the right thing, bringing Thomas with me to the store and showing the world that our non-verbal son on the autism spectrum had value.

“You’re doing a good job, Mom,” he said. Then he rolled his cart towards the produce aisle while Thomas continued to pick up and spin EVERY SINGLE colorful pen. 

That gentleman could have walked right by. He didn’t have to say a word — but he did. 

The comfort and encouragement he offered was the refreshing refill my emotional energy tank needed. The comfort he offered came from a position of experience. He had a special needs daughter. He might not have known what my specific struggle was . . . but he had, at least, lived a similar story. 

I bear witness to Thomas’ life and allow him to be noticed by others. It isn’t easy, but there is value in vulnerability. 

We received an unexpected spin on Luke 11:33 in the grocery store that day.  A compassionate gentleman bore witness to the value of the lives of Thomas and myself. He pursued us when he could have passed us. He made the effort to shine a light on two people he didn’t know — and that light made all the difference.

Friends, may we all remember that we have a role in bearing witness to the value of others and shining the light God has given us to share.

God’s Cure for Negative Thinking

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As humans, we’re naturally prone to forget the positive things that happen to us. Psychologist Rick Hanson is fond of saying, “The mind is like Velcro for negative experiences and Teflon for positive ones.”

This explains why it’s much easier to recall the bully who teased you in the third grade than the kind neighbor who watched you after school and fed you warm cookies. I have more vivid memories of when my 11th-grade homecoming date stood me up than afterward when my dad ordered pizza and let me cry it out. 

Our brain’s “velcro tendency” is also known as negative bias. This concept explains our brain’s natural wiring to hold onto what’s painful or hurtful to protect us from repeating that hurt in the future. For example, as kids, we learned that fire was hot because we sometimes burned ourselves. Our brains store that information to ensure we don’t burn ourselves again. This function has a helpful purpose: keeping us from physical danger. Yet, negative bias doesn’t help nurture emotional or spiritual health.

Suppose you’re not aware and intentional about managing negative bias. In that case, your brain will collect dozens, even hundreds, of mental photo albums filled with bad memories or mental computer hard drives of unhappy moments that make you believe that life is only hard, horrible, or full of heartache. 

Unless you enjoy reliving awful moments while sipping lemonade on a hot day, you’ll want to tap into God’s remedy for negative bias. He gave us a helpful tool to hold onto meaningful and miraculous memories and velcro them to our brains so they won’t slip away.   

In Joshua 4, God instructed the Israelites to mark a special moment as they prepared to cross the Jordan River. 

God instructed their leader, Joshua, to direct one man from each of the twelve tribes of Israel to pull a stone from the center of the Jordan while God held back the waters. With these stones, they constructed a memorial on the edge of the river by their campsite. Then, they assembled another monument of stones in the center of the Jordan. Here’s what Joshua told the people when their children asked them why the stone memorial was there:

“For the Lord your God dried up the river right before your eyes, and he kept it dry until you were all across, just as he did at the Red Sea when he dried it up until we had all crossed over. He did this so all the nations of the earth might know that the Lord’s hand is powerful, and so you might fear the Lord your God forever.”
Joshua 4:23-24 NLT

In their 40 years of wandering the wilderness, the Israelites anticipated the excitement of entering a new home. They’d finally stop roaming around and settle down. Yet, God wanted to ensure they did not forget that He parted the Jordan River to make entering their new home possible. Forty years earlier, God parted the Red Sea for the Israelites to escape Egypt and fed them food from heaven each day they wandered. For all of the blessings and miracles that God had done, He knew that the Israelites were prone to forgetfulness. 

We forget, too. 

It’s so easy to focus on what is missing, broken, or changed in our lives that we forget God’s blessings or minimize them in our minds.  

For a decade, our family faced an alcohol addiction crisis in our home. Daily, sadness, instability, and uncertainty hovered over our household. On any given day, I steeled myself for another new crisis and weathered a loved one’s irrational words or erratic behavior. While there were periodic moments to celebrate, my mental photo albums of sadness overflowed; the collection of hard memories seemed easier to recall than the good ones. Even when God moved miraculously in a crisis, my brain quickly tossed those memories to the back of my mind.

I read the story in Joshua 4 during the final separation in my marriage and decided to create my stone memorial. I drove to the craft store and purchased a glass container and twelve large decorative stones with flat bottoms that I could write on. On the bottom of each stone, I wrote a few words describing God’s miraculous work or faithfulness in my life. As I recalled those moments, I could sense my mind reshuffling that photo album of blessings to the front of my memory, and my heart was lifted. 

After writing on all twelve stones, I placed the memorial on a table where I could see the reminders regularly. Every time I saw those stones it prompted me to believe that the same God who had been at work would continue working in my life, even on the hard days. 

If your mental photo albums only show bad or sad moments, perhaps you can create a list of twelve God moments and post that list in a place where you’ll see it.

If you’ve seen where God’s goodness and grace have carried you through in the past, that same goodness and grace will meet you again.

For more encouragement on getting through anxious times, check out Barb’s Bible Study, Joshua: Winning the Worry Battle.

Listen to today’s devotion on the player below or on your favorite podcast app!

Patient Endurance Is What You Need Now

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Several months ago I decided I was going to spend an entire day with the Lord. I had blocked my calendar for the day and replaced everything with Jesus. Like so many of us, I had a list of things I needed answers for. A fully devoted day with Jesus seemed like the only solution. I was looking forward to it. 

I hiked down the side of our bluff to platform three and began unpacking my list to the Lord. For the next several hours I told Him everything He already knew about my situation. I asked Him how He was going to take care of it. Throughout the entire conversation, I could hear Him reassure me. I could feel His presence.

Yet, I wouldn’t stop asking Him how it was going to happen — how He was going to take care of it all.

How? What a rude question to ask the Creator of the universe. Even though He’s not mad about the question, it does, however, show that I’m second-guessing His ability to accomplish something and reveals my lack of complete surrender.

Why does it matter how God does things?

I don’t know how He parted the Red Sea, yet that didn’t stop the Israelites from walking across it on dry land. I have no idea how Jesus and Peter walked on water. It doesn’t make it any less true because I don’t know how it happened. I’m so annoyed with myself sometimes for questioning how God is going to fulfill His promises in my life. 

We have four platforms on the side of our bluff that lead to our dock. I spent hours talking to the Lord and pacing between platform 2 and platform 3 that day. I would pray, worship, quote Scripture, pray some more, and occasionally listen. I was serious about getting some answers, but I was asking the wrong questions. I wanted to know how and when. Where is the faith in that? Not knowing how and when something is going to happen and still believing it’s going to happen is the essence of faith. 

Instead of the Lord telling me how or when, I heard Him say, Open your Bible. I don’t always believe in the flip the Bible open to wherever it lands method, but that’s what I did that day. God is funny. The Scripture I opened up to said, “Patient endurance is what you need now” (Hebrews 10:36 NLT). I laughed out loud and wrote in my Bible, “Yes, I do!” The Lord then led me to Hebrews chapter 11. 

Hebrews 11 is one of my favorite chapters in the Bible. I began to read about all of these great acts of faith. They are inspiring. Any time we need a faith boost, Hebrews 11 is a great place to start. This time as I read the stories I was enlightened in new ways. The Lord pointed out to me that Noah had never even seen rain before. He was told to build a massive boat because it was going to rain. What? Water was going to fall from the sky? It had only come up from springs in the earth. I’m sure Noah had to wonder how was water falling from the sky even possible. Yet, he obeyed the steps God gave him, built a boat, and it rained. 

Abraham was told to go to a land he had never been to before. He started walking not knowing where he was going. How was he going to get somewhere if he didn’t know how to get there? He took one step at a time. Sarah had already gone through menopause. There were no eggs left in our girl. She was past the age of childbearing, yet, she definitely had a baby. How? 

When we face circumstances that don’t make any earthly sense, God doesn’t want us to ask how. He wants us to say, “I don’t know how and I don’t have to know how, because my God is faithful and capable.”

I needed to remember that the Lord is for me. If He is for me, then what can possibly be against me (Romans 8:31)? Just because I don’t know how, doesn’t limit the Lord. The only thing that limits the Lord from working in my life is my lack of trusting Him (James 1:6-7). If Noah, Abraham, and Sarah had waited to trust God until after they learned how and when, there would have never been a boat, a promised land, or a child. 

You better believe I repented that day. I told the Lord I was so sorry for not trusting Him. I asked Him for patient endurance. Since that day I’ve seen some pretty amazing things the Lord has done in my life. Many of the things on my prayer list from that day on the platform have been checked off in ways that far surpassed how I thought they would happen. I would never have expected Him to move in my life the way He chose to move. It was far better and greater than my limited thinking.

The Lord was right. Whenever I stopped asking how and when and began to trust Him fully, the answers began to come.

I’m still waiting for some answers. I won’t be asking the Lord how they’re going to happen. I’m over here patiently enduring (some days more than others). When I find myself getting restless and questioning God’s methods and timing, I calm myself, think about that day with God, and say, “Lord, I trust You.”

Listen to today’s devotion below or wherever you stream podcasts.

We Need the One and Only You

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I could spell most words correctly until college when I majored in a foreign language (with its own alphabet) and my English spelling suffered. Now my phone and computer editing programs run in the background, seamlessly fixing my mistakes, but it bothers me that those squiggly lines appear and then disappear as if they never happened.

When I heard that writing words you misspell ten times by hand improves spelling, I tried it.

Chauffeured stumped me first. (The handwriting experiment must’ve worked, at least temporarily, because I typed it now without error.) I also had problems with vicious (I want to add an “s” in the middle), caressed (shouldn’t there be another “r”?), and the last name of a famous actor and author you would recognize.

Since I couldn’t verify the spelling of his last name in the dictionary, I went to one of his social media accounts. I confirmed how to spell his name, but what really caught my attention was what was on his feed. Instead of carefully curated images to match his acting and authoring success, he filled it with sports-related posts. And let me tell you, the man loves sports — particularly from his alma mater. He posted about football and golf and tennis. The banner on his account was a color-coordinated picture of him in his home team’s football stands looking so content it made me smile. He shares things that are meaningless to me, but bring him joy. I found it refreshing.

As a content creator myself, the world proclaims I need to do certain things to succeed. The world touts proven strategies, editable templates, and surefire marketing plans. As much as I hate to say it — and as detrimental as it might be to my professional success — my spirit often rebels against all the “best practices.” Rather than doing the “right things”, I want to do the authentic things.

I want to live so authentically that I too can fill my social media feed with the things that bring me joy — highlights from my favorite team (I’m looking at you, Braves) or pictures of my dog or backyard plants — without worrying if it resonates with everyone who interacts with my account.

The burden to fit in and follow all the “proven steps to success” is one I no longer want to bear.

I can no longer carry on a conversation about best SEO practices, but I can talk all day about the podcasts I listen to, the redemption arc of one of my favorite baseball players on and off the field, or the book I’m writing — things I care about. I aspire to be more like this actor/author (whose name I still can’t spell); I want to be so comfortable in my skin that I don’t over-analyze, sanitize, or hide who I am and what’s important to me.

The older I get, the harder it’s become to pretend to be what I’m not, and the more I recognize (and try not to rebel against) who God made me to be.

And God certainly didn’t create us with a one-size-fits-all mold. We’re weird, quirky misfits who love what we love and dislike what we dislike. We’re so unique God has numbered the hairs of our heads (Matthew 10:30). We’re as individual as snowflakes in a winter sky, yet we intersect and overlap in delightful ways. Have you ever met someone in a checkout line (or followed an online account) and a stranger’s words resonate so much it’s like you encountered a kindred spirit? What a gift to be drawn to and feel understood by certain people, while appreciating what makes others distinct, even if we can’t relate.

Sometimes, it’s living out our faith that makes us different.

Much of the world will reject the message of Jesus. They don’t want to hear about it. The world will tell you following Jesus won’t make you one of the cool kids. Having a moral compass will never be particularly popular; it’ll never be the latest fad. You and I will never satisfy the world’s expectations. It hated Jesus, after all. (John 15:18)

But the world needs our authentic voices. The world needs to hear who you are and who Jesus is to you — whether shared online, in fellowship halls, or in waiting rooms. Don’t be afraid to be yourself. Sharing stories can build bridges that connect hearts and minds.

The world needs what you have to offer. We need the one and only you.

Listen to today’s podcast on the player below and subscribe wherever you listen to podcasts!