Paper cuts hurt more than other cuts.
Though small, they sting — they demand attention. My daughter will tell you that, as sure as the sky is blue, paper cuts are the worst. In fact, when my daughter was three years old, she once went on a tirade about a paper cut, right in the middle of a cello recital. She grimaced on her tiny stool, stood up, and then held up her middle finger to show her paper cut to the entire room. Her grandparents and I gasped. We knew then just how much she hated paper cuts.
Recently, though, I watched her struggle with a new type of sting — the sting of biting, small words from girls in the fourth grade.
“Just go,” I motioned to her, nudging her to walk home with a group of girls from class. After hesitating for a moment, she handed me her backpack, water bottle, and an additional tote filled with music and library books. She hurried across the street and onto the sidewalk to meet the other girls. I walked home and met up with her later, thinking it all went well.
You see, just four months ago, we moved. It wasn’t our plan to move into a new district in the middle of the school year but, alas, the housing market seemed opportune. I thought this was it, and I even saw this as a new opportunity for my ten-year-old to make new friends and connections.
But then, the day after my daughter met up with those girls, I noticed her eager demeanor dissipated. I nudged her their way. No response. I motioned again, suggesting she make the connection and walk with these girls. Only this time, I received the same grimace my daughter gave me when she was three and nursing a paper cut in the middle of her cello recital.
We walked home in silence. Then, the tirade happened in our house’s entryway. Words spilled out, heartbreaking confessions about friendship formations and her exclusion from them — the paper cuts of a longing heart.
I didn’t help the issue much. I offered solutions far too readily. Love and grace weren’t extended. It’s a silly paper cut, after all. But I quickly realized that, when it came to mending a heart, stricken by loss and grief, I needed to acknowledge my daughter.
She begged me to see this slight hurt, and so when I met up with her again after school the next day, I decided not to nudge. Surprisingly, I overheard one of the fourth-grade girls whisper while gesturing at my daughter. “Oh look, here she comes,” she said.
While my daughter never saw the motion, I watched in horror as the girls scattered to exclude my daughter from the group. Then I was the one with a paper cut . . . and a vengeful heart. I finally understood my daughter’s pain, and soon bitterness began clouding my judgment of these girls who gifted my daughter a broken heart. But, being an adult, I was reminded of this truth:
Get rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along with every form of malice. Be kind and compassionate to one another, forgiving each other, just as in Christ God forgave you.
Ephesians 4:31-32
When my daughter was three, I tended to her wound by wrapping it with a brightly-colored bandage. So, this time around, when my daughter’s teacher revealed all that had transpired, and a note extending forgiveness came home, we tended to her wound by wrapping it with a brightly-colored note of forgiveness that we sent right back.
While the sting needed a moment to heal, it no longer held our attention. “I’m sorry this happened,” I said. “You know you’re loved by us and Jesus, too, right?” She smiled. Her arms wrapped around my waist, and she squeezed with all her might.
“Yes,” she replied. “I can be kind and compassionate, too.”
It turns out, she must have taken the words from Ephesians 4:31-32 to heart.
Bitterness does not need to overtake our already worn and achy hearts. Harboring resentment will only amplify our pain. May we remember the charge in the old song “What a Friend We Have in Jesus.” Indeed, it is a privilege to give our sorrows to the Prince of Grief. So, take your pain to the Lord in prayer.
He hears you . . . paper cuts and all.
Good morning. Thank you for this well written devotional. I am sorry about the heartbreak and disappointment experienced by your daughter. Words can be painful. am thankful your daughter was open and honest with you. Also praise God forgiveness was a resolution eventually. God bless you.
Such kind words—what a balm
Beautiful, tender story and truth. Grateful for your words, Neidy — thanks for sharing them on (in)courage!
It was such an honor to share them with (In)courage!
Neidy what an excellent mess. Yes a paper cut can very sore. Had them in the past. But as you said what a friend we have in Jesus. That song is so true. We have Friend in Jesus the best friend we could ever have. Look at the pain he suffered on Calvary Cross for all mankind because he loved all mankind. That pain would have been a million times wore than a paper cut. Which is very sore. It stings. I had to go for an operation one time. Because of women problems. I had friend who said. I was in pain before I had it. Plus a bit of pain after it until I healed after the operation. My friend said your pain is nothing compared to what Jesus suffered on the cross for you. I thought about that after my operation. That made me think the pain I was in was offal before the operation and for a while until I healed of it. I not that bad my pain not that bad. Jesus was worse on Calvary Cross. That would have been a pain like no other pain in the world. Jesus did that because he loved us all. I say amen. I suffer seizures now and again. It makes me say I not that bad. I haven’t got cancer. I not in Hospital like so many not well. I be ok. Jesus is with me and I will recovery. So true. Thank you again for this brilliant message it speaks to me. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little Enniskillen Co.Fermanagh N.Ireland. In my prayers everyone incourage. Xx
My prayers are with you as you walk you healing path.
Dawn, thank you for sharing your story. I pray you’re reminded of the closeness Jesus provides!
What a beautiful story to read this morning! “Kindness and compassion”. Thank you for sharing this. ❤️
thank you for reading!
Dear Neidy….What a wonderful story even with a very, very sad beginning. I am 76 years old so no small children, but my own heart has quite a few paper cuts. I pray to Christ Jesus all the time, because my cuts involve a son who has abandoned me because his father has dementia (the violent kind) and almost killed me. I had to have him evicted from our house of 40 years. It was difficult, but I needed to protect my safety. He after 6 years is still in denial. It has been for 14 months now that I have suffered from these cuts that I did not cause. I have only 1 grandson and my son will not let him see me or even talk to me. This was I think more than a paper cut but a heart breaking situation. I have forgiven them, but they still just do not talk or see me. It is difficult living alone with no one to help me. Thank you so much for your story, but it is hard to show “kindness and compassion” when you can’t even see or talk to your only family. I love the (in)courage books. I have many and just finished the “100 Days of Strength in any Struggle.” Your daughter must be a special person who can do this at her age. Have a Blessed Day !!~~~~~~~~~~~~~Betsy Basile
Betsy, thank you for sharing your deep heartache.
You’re right, those aren’t paper cuts. And the Lord carries those too What a wonderful Savior we have to extend his love and mercy to us in the middle of trial. May He be with you today and always.
I am praying for you, Betsy. And praying God will open up your son’s heart to forgive and forget whatever blame he has laid on you. He will reap what he is sowing…perhaps through his own son. My mom whom I loved so dearly is gone now, and what I wouldn’t do to just have one more day with her. I pray God will let him know before you are gone, how much he missed out on while you were still here. I am so sorry for your pain. Praying God will heal this cut between you and your son. Blessings Betsy, from our understanding and merciful Father in Heaven.
Betsy,
Prayers for God to mend your paper cut heart. Asking Him to send friends your way to encourage & love on you. May you sense Him near you always.
(XXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXXX) Hugs
Blessings 🙂
Such a beautiful and heartfelt devotion. I had to move several times and I can relate feeling isolated and alone being the new girl at school. But God always blessed me with one special girl who would eventually walk up and smile and suddenly I had a friend! It instilled in me then and even now, if I see someone alone in a crowd, I walk right over with a smile and offer my hand in friendship! It is amazing how God heals the paper cuts of our little hearts, and yet, He is teaching us how to pass along our band-aid to another! And so loved your title!
“Paper cuts of the Heart” What a wonderful way to describe our daily stinging pains! I pray your daughter is happier and surrounded with sweet and godly dear friends now!
Neidy,
Harboring bitterness does more harm to ourselves than the one causing it. The best thing we can do is forgive the other one & move on. I know that can be hard, but with Jesus’ help & a lot of time it can be achieved. Great post. You have raised a good young girl.
Blessings 🙂