Good News for the Sorrowful and Weary Ones

Good News for the Sorrowful and Weary Ones

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Death wrapped its ropes around me;
the terrors of the grave overtook me.
I saw only trouble and sorrow.
Then I called on the name of the Lord:
“Please, Lord, save me!”
How kind the Lord is! How good he is!
So merciful, this God of ours!
The Lord protects those of childlike faith;
I was facing death, and he saved me.
Let my soul be at rest again,
for the Lord has been good to me.
He has saved me from death,
my eyes from tears,
my feet from stumbling.
And so I walk in the Lord’s presence
as I live here on earth!
Psalm 116:3-9 (NLT)

Everywhere we look today, there seems to only be trouble and sorrow. Loss, both big and small, has left bruises that won’t soon go away, and many of us continue to experience overwhelming waves of grief. And where is God in the middle of all this?

He is here. Psalm 116:9 says that we walk in His presence here on earth. He is not far away from our pain. He doesn’t stand at a distance, watching us suffer. God is in our midst, and in His mercy, He will come and save us. We can rest in His presence even when the turmoil doesn’t relent, even when there is no peace in our hearts or our homes, and even when we are misunderstood and dismissed. God is kind and good. He can lead our souls to rest in Him.

Lord, help us to believe. Amen.

 

How to Stay Tender When Your Relationship Is Falling Apart

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I look back on that time in our marriage, and the memories still sting my heart like tiny cactus needles. We survived falling apart, but mending the mess was a slow, pain-filled process. We recognized how we had intentionally hidden parts of ourselves, assuming the other person wouldn’t understand and would therefore reject us. We noticed our patterns of communication, paid attention to what triggered our pain points, and examined the beliefs we had about ourselves, each other, and the world. We faithfully attended our therapy sessions, which included lots of tears, occasional yelling, and working through the same problems again and again.

I often wondered, then, if it was worth it — worth being in the marriage, worth putting in the effort for an outcome I wasn’t guaranteed, worth keeping at it when I couldn’t even imagine what a future together might look like. And the only thing that kept me grounded was the redeeming power of the gospel. If miraculous and impossible things can happen in Christ, such as resurrection from the dead, surely there was hope for us in our marriage. Surely we could change for the better, and it would be worth it to wait and see what God might do.

In Matthew 19:26, Jesus says, “With man this is impossible, but with God all things are possible.” Though this verse has been used too flippantly in the church as a way to gloss over difficult circumstances, during that season of marital hardship, I held on to it for the promise that it is. It anchored me in hope, giving me the sustenance I needed to try and commit to our marriage for another day, another month, another year.

Mending a marriage or any other relationship is not always possible, but when it is, the hardest part can be doing the simplest things, like having a conversation, asking questions, and staying curious about the other person to get to know them better.

Isn’t that what we all want? To be fully known? Wholly seen?

Even though my husband has thoughts and emotions beyond what he shows, it’s difficult for him to access them and find the words to express them. By asking him directly about his feelings, I give him the opportunity to stay present with himself, figure out how to describe what he’s feeling, and then verbalize his thoughts to me. By asking questions, I open the door for him to take up space, be himself as much as possible, and create connections between us.

The questions will vary based on different relationships and situations, but the key to asking the right ones is to stay curious, which is different from being nosy. Curiosity keeps us tender to each other’s humanity.

When we don’t know someone, it’s easy to dehumanize them and treat them as if they’re an object made for our judgment. We can make assumptions about their character, their background, their family, their life, and feel justified as we do so. But when we stay curious, we keep their humanity in view. Curiosity helps us remember that the person we share a home with and the acquaintance on Facebook are both individuals made and loved by God. We may not agree or have the same values. We may never become close with that other mom at school or that neighbor across the street, but we can genuinely care for one another. We might even find that we laugh at the same things or have similar passions. We might learn we have a shared pain or we’re on a similar journey in life. And perhaps then, even when all hope feels lost, we can take small steps toward mending the gaps created by our differences.

 

This story from Grace P. Cho is an excerpt from our book, Come Sit with Me: How to Delight in Differences, Love through Disagreements, and Live with Discomfort. In this book, 26 of our (in)courage writers help you navigate tough relational tensions by revealing their own hard-fought, grace-filled learning moments (like in Grace’s story above).

Whether you’re in the middle of a conflict without resolution or wondering how to enter into a friend’s pain, Come Sith With Me will serve as a gentle guide. Discover how God can work through your disagreements, differences, and discomfort in ways you might never expect.

Want to hear Grace read her full chapter? Click here.

 

Sometimes You Just Need to Scream

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I sat on the bedroom floor encircled by books, lined paper, colored pencils, and my daughter, Noelle. Stacks of crisp notebooks and newly opened crayon boxes were eagerly unwrapped as if a new school year was like Christmas morning. Noelle was organizing her new gifts beside me. Starting middle school was a big deal and she felt the weight and anticipation of the transition. She read the directions on how to set up her class notebook and I saw her face turning red. Her aggravation grew as she couldn’t seem to get the paper to fit in the three silver rings of her binder. In frustration, she slammed her stuff on the floor beside me.

I talked her through a few deep breaths and she tried again. Within seconds, she screamed. I was taken aback by her overreaction to this small task — and now I had to remind myself to breathe. With all the patience I could muster, I softened my voice and tried to explain how she needed to calm down. She tried again. This time, hot tears slipped out of her eyes, intensifying her feelings.

“It doesn’t make any sense!” she screamed. With that, she threw her new things across the room, jumped in bed, grabbed a pillow, and yelled into it with all her might.

Then the strangest thing happened. Without forethought or consideration, I screamed too. I wasn’t angry at her. I wasn’t mad. But from my gut, I screamed. It felt almost like a release. I looked at Noelle and said, “Sometimes you just have to scream.” She buried her head back in the pillow and unleashed her pain once again. This time I grabbed a pillow and followed her lead. After a few seconds, she wiped her tears, looked at me soberly, and picked up her discarded notebook. Now, instead of cramming the paper and dividers onto the loops, she took her time and they slid on perfectly.

I’ve rehearsed this experience over and over in my mind for the past several weeks. It has made me really reflect on anger. I can weep with a friend. I can laugh with my kids. I can sit with my husband in his fear, but I have never considered “being with” another in their rage.

I grew up in a home and church culture where anger was bad, scary, and even sinful. I grew up understanding anger to be an emotion to avoid or get rid of as quickly as possible. But Scripture never says that anger is evil. The warning in the Bible is: ”Be angry and do not sin; do not let the sun go down on your anger, and give no opportunity to the devil” (Ephesians 4:26-27 ESV).

Anger isn’t wrong, it’s actually an emotion that is welcomed in Scripture. But, the truth is, anger feels scary. I feel out of control when I get mad. When other people are angry, I feel my own fear. But the next part of this passage is such a beautiful invitation from God. I have always understood, “Do not let the sun go down on your anger,” to mean, fix or resolve your anger before the day ends. Paul isn’t saying to get rid of your anger and fast. He is saying to process your anger. Don’t suppress it by putting it down like the sun goes down. Instead, process your frustration and pain. Work it out. In other words, be angry. If you don’t let your anger come out, the Devil can get a foothold in your life. Unprocessed anger is a place where the enemy can sneak in and destroy.

I found this to be such an incredible invitation from God. I don’t need to quiet my anger or the anger of those around me, I need to be with others in this intense emotion. I need to let myself feel my frustration. I need to let myself be bothered. I need to let others have their anger too. But, don’t sin. Don’t act out in such a way that harms another or myself.

That day when I screamed with my daughter, something happened to both of us. She didn’t need to breathe more or exercise self-control. She needed to scream and get her frustration out of her body. When I screamed with her, she felt less alone and probably less afraid. Sometimes you just need to scream. You need to pound the steering wheel, shatter the plate, or yell into a pillow.

So when I feel agitation boiling up with me, I find ways to release it that won’t cause harm. I find ways to get what I feel out of me. Sometimes I release my anger with words, deep breaths, or shouts in the shower. On good days, I invite others into my anger as well. Recently, my youngest child was having a fit. Noelle quickly ran into the other room and grabbed a pillow for her to scream in.

And remember this: God is with us, especially in our anger.

 

Listen to today’s devotion below or wherever you stream podcasts!

When You Don’t Know Who You Are, God Knows

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One of my all-time favorite movies is Hook. This 1991 film features Robin Williams as a grown-up Peter Pan who’s forgotten who he really is. After Captain Hook kidnaps his children, Peter travels to Neverland to be reunited with the Lost Boys, Wendy, and his childhood self.

Fans of this movie might name other moments that move them, but for me, the most touching scene is when Peter meets his friends again for the first time in years — and they don’t recognize him. One little boy, rather than fight him or call him names, walks right up to Robin Williams’ character. He pulls him down to his level, removes his glasses, and gently puts his hands on either side of the man’s face. He squishes and pulls on his forehead and cheeks until his eyes light up. He recognizes his friend!

“There you are, Peter.”

I felt a little like grown-up Peter Pan the other day in the Starbucks drive-thru line.

Stopping on my way to work, I ordered my iced latte and pulled around to the window. When a woman leaned out to hand me my drink, she took a second look and said, “You look familiar. Are you from Lawson?”

I acknowledged that I was, indeed, from that very small town and told her my maiden name. Recognition immediately brightened her face and she told me her name. We made small-town small talk for a minute more, then I was on my way. But I couldn’t stop thinking about the way she knew who I was.

Our families had gone to church together for maybe a year or two. Nearly 40 years ago! She was several years ahead of me in school, and even her younger brother was two years older than me and not a close friend. But somehow she looked at my 44-year-old face, tired and full and a little bit wrinkled, and she could see me in there. It was a Hook-level miracle!

I’m currently in a season of transition and change — and a little unsure of who I am today. Am I reverting to who I was? Am I becoming someone completely different? Can I hold onto any parts from before? Are they even in there? What determines who I am? Is it my status or role or relationship to others? Is it my personality type or Enneagram number or generation or birth order? Is it the job I used to have or the one I have now? Is it the things I do today or the ones I still dream of doing?

Have you ever had these questions?

Perhaps it was a career change, milestone birthday, or a chance run-in with a long-forgotten acquaintance that prompted your own wonderings. Maybe you became a parent or lost a parent, changed marital status or moved to a new state, or experienced something as small as coloring your hair or putting away your signature sneakers. Any number of things can trigger an avalanche of questions that add up to, “Who am I?” and “Does anyone see me? The real me?”

As I’ve pondered all this (and repeatedly revisited that sweet scene in Hook), I’ve also remembered Psalm 139. It’s a popular passage, and for good reason. Who doesn’t crave the reminder that we are wonderfully made by a wonderful Creator (verse 14)? In this psalm, David talks about how God created him and knew him from the very beginning. God created us too, of course. He created our inmost beings and knitted us together in our mothers’ wombs (verse 13).

But that’s not where the story ends (or begins). Though David looks back and praises God for His creativity and artistry and care for each one of His children, he actually begins this song to the Lord by saying, “You have searched me, LORD, and you know me. You know when I sit and when I rise; you perceive my thoughts from afar. You discern my going out and my lying down; you are familiar with all my ways” (verses 1-3).

God knows us. He is familiar with all our ways.

No matter how old we get…

No matter how many wrinkles decorate our faces…

No matter how much our jeans size or job title changes…

The God of this universe, my Creator and yours, my heavenly Father and yours, knows us. He knows exactly who we were and exactly who we are. He searches us just like the little Lost Boy in Hook, squishing and smoothing all the things we carry, all the things that change, all the ways the world imprints on our hearts and minds and bodies. He searches us and He knows us.

God knows who you are. He knows who I am. God knows us and loves us, as we were and as we are right now.

If you’re going through a time of transition, change, or uncertainty, I pray that you remember that the One who created you still knows you. He will always recognize you. Nothing you or I can do will stop God from looking at us with love and saying, “There you are!”

 

Listen to today’s article below or wherever you stream podcasts!

When You’re Slammed with Waves of Regret

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Sitting on the lanai of our lodging in Kihei, Hawaii, last month, I was immediately transported to 2010 when we lived here courtesy of the United States Air Force. I was tagging along with my husband who attends a conference here each year, and this is the first time I’ve been back since we called Hawaii home. Staring at the sea, I imagined my three young children inside chatting about Phineas and Ferb as they ate their breakfast of oatmeal and drank their cups of pog (passion fruit-orange-guava juice — YUM).

Later, while my husband was conferencing with folks, I drove down S. Kihei Rd. in search of a coffee shop where I could tackle my long list of work chores. As I approached Alanui Ke’ali’i St., I defaulted to the familiar pull to turn right towards the neighborhood we lived in years ago, but instead of turning left onto our old street, I glanced right at the kids’ former elementary school. And then my stomach dropped to my ankles as regret filled the space . . .

Every whipstitch, I hear someone say, “I have no regrets for my choices or how I’ve lived!” No regrets? I think to myself. You can honestly say that for every decision you’ve made, you wouldn’t like a redo here and there? An opportunity to go back and choose differently?

Let me say, your girl here has regrets. In particular, I have parenting regrets. I regret taking a hard stance on things that weren’t a big deal. On the other hand, I regret not taking a few things more seriously than I did at the time — or rather, not looking harder to see the full picture as it was. An example of this? Our last year we lived in Hawaii, our kids attended an elementary school I’ve come to regret — the one I drove by last month. While my daughter had a fantastic experience there, my sons were bullied terribly. Since I regularly volunteered my time teaching music to my kids’ classrooms in that school, I should’ve been more aware of what was going on. Alas, I didn’t know the full extent of the bullying until after we moved away.

This made finishing our season in Hawaii feel like a disastrous fumble at the end of a game that snatched a win right out of our hands. And it tasted like someone had spiked our pog juice with a good deal of vinegar, making an overall great experience land on a bitter note.

It’s important to add that today, my sons are doing phenomenally well. They give virtually no thought to that time and certainly don’t see themselves as victims. However, I do think about that year from time to time, and seeing that school again brought a fresh tidal wave of regret that my young sons put up with so much. So, there I sat in my car, floating around in an ocean of sadness over something that happened thirteen years ago.

And that’s when I felt the Lord tell my spirit, “Okay, Kristen, we’re gonna deal with this right now.” 

Compelled to read Genesis, I looked up the verses where Joseph, years after being sold into slavery by his own brothers, tells these same men,

“Do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you” (Gen. 45:5 NIV).

In other words, Joseph tells his brothers not to grieve the choice they made years before because he could see now how God was working behind the scenes all along.

I responded out loud, “Okay, Lord. I believe this. But what do I do with the lingering regret that I can’t seem to shake?”

And that’s when I received a picture of swimming in the ocean as a particularly strong wave comes toward me. Instead of fighting the wave, I know from experience I must sink underwater to escape the wave breaking with me tangled in it. By diving below the crashing wave, I save myself from harm.

Likewise, when waves of regret come, I’m learning it’s better not to fight them. I picture myself sinking into the Lord’s grace and redemption. That means rather than letting the regret tangle me up, I let the love of Christ hold me and save me. Rather than fighting myself, I surrender to Jesus, allowing Him to move me from the regret of the past to the relief that He is always working to redeem, preserve, and grow things of value from difficulties and mistakes.

Of course, this doesn’t mean you and I should be thankful and happy about every trial or tragedy experienced or the consequences of our own poor choices or oversight. Of course not. But it does mean that while waves of regret may come, God won’t let the pain experienced go to waste.

If I could, I’d still choose to spare my sons the pain of that year by enrolling them in a different school. Yet, I’m thankful for the gift of time that lets me see now what I couldn’t see then: What the bullies meant for evil, God used for good. My sons are well-adjusted, kind young men full of character and integrity. Being bullied in the past has paved the way for greater compassion today.

The waves in all our lives are doing good work to mold and shape us into people that better reflect the love of our Creator — the One who is big enough to hold our regrets, hold us in the swirling sea, and eventually calm the storm.

 

Listen to today’s devotion below or on your fave podcast app!

The Lie You Need to Kick to the Curb Today

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This sentiment orbits around me. The childhood trauma of my parents’ divorce acts as its gravitational pull. In the breakup of their marriage, my mom was awarded primary custody of my brother and me, my dad was given significant visitation rights, and nine-year-old me inherited this false messaging:

You are disposable!

No one actually said those words to me. But in the upheaval, grieving, and wounding, I was left with this scarring. Like a skillful makeup artist, I learned to hide the bruising. Achievements and accolades were the perfect concealer, and having a boyfriend meant that at least I mattered to someone, even if he didn’t have the capacity to truly see me.

But beneath the homecoming queen crown, the college graduate honors, and the multiple degrees, the fear of being insignificant clung to me. It melded into me. It stayed with me. Even now, we seem inseparable. It speaks to who I am as a wife, as a mom:

You are disposable! You don’t matter!

It wants to be my forever song, the score to my life’s unfolding. It wants to be the lead vocals, and whenever I experience rejection, fear turns up the volume and presses repeat. It gets the spotlight and summons all my attention. Hearing this reverberating bouncing around in the recesses of my being is exhausting. It’s a constant tug-of-war.

You are disposable! You don’t matter! You are insignificant!

Recently, the noise of my fear has been deafening. I have been losing sleep and agonizing over the pain of feeling invisible and invaluable. And yes, I know that God sees me and values me. I don’t struggle with that at all. My strife has been with humans devaluing me. I am deflated when people treat me like I don’t matter. I can tell myself that it shouldn’t matter what people think of me, that I should solely be concerned with how God sees me and knows me, but that doesn’t reconcile the countless times that in someone else’s decision-making process, I’ve been overlooked and felt like an afterthought or a pawn.

The anxiety pushed me to desperation, and I cried out to El Roi — the One who not only sees me but who sees everything. In moments like these, I feel like I shouldn’t need God to affirm me, that mature faith doesn’t need to be coddled. But desperation overrode my ego. In my exhaustion, I was like a toddler crawling into a nurturing lap to be embraced by grace-filled arms.

As I surrendered, my life’s major events unfolded in my mind like a movie recap. But in the re-viewing, I heard a different score of songs. I began to clearly see elements at work that I had not given much attention to before. I grabbed my journal and started writing.

Who saw me when I thought I was invisible?

  • During my parents’ divorce, my grandma Pearline made sure I knew I was special to her.
  • When my mom remarried and it seemed as though her new husband wanted her without her children, my grandma Virginia brought attention to my loneliness and pain.
  • When I needed support along my academic journey, several people played key roles in escorting me from being a first-generation college student to becoming a college professor. It was a series of miracles.
  • When I was in situations where someone was taking advantage of me, my husband intervened and shut down the whole operation.

Names and events flowed like a waterfall. I journaled for pages. The list went on and on of how love manifested through people seeing me, hearing me, and valuing me. As I reflected and recorded in my journal, the volume of the old song (which does not bear repeating) began fading into the background. I had given too much attention to my story’s antagonists. I had allowed shadows to consume my life’s stage. I was ready for the protagonist to take its rightful place, front and center. I was now seeing all that had been invisible to me. I was ready to sing a new song:

I matter. I am seen. I am valued. I am heard.

When you feel vulnerable, invisible, or forgotten, remember that God not only sees you, but comes alongside you and cares for you. Matthew 6:26 (NIV) reminds us:

“Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they?”  

When lies try to deplete you, ask El Roi, the One who sees you, to remind you of your visibility, your value, and your significance. Bring yourself back to truth. You matter. You are seen. You are valued. You are heard. Rehearse truth’s song. Turn up the volume and allow it to refresh you.

This article was written by Lucretia Berry and originally appeared on (in)courage in December 2021.

 

Listen to today’s devotion below or wherever you stream podcasts!

When I Feel out of Sync, Maybe I’m Right on Time

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I love autumn. Like, realllly love it. I wait all summer for summer to end with a very ‘get it over with’ kind of attitude. Here in Minnesota, you have folks of all stripes: those who live for hot summer days on the lake, those who pine for the frozen sparkle of snow, those who can’t wait to get into their spring gardens, and those of us who wait with bated breath from December through August for autumn.

Guess which group I’m in.

To be clear, I love living in a place that celebrates and embraces all four seasons. You can find me outside in them all — yep, even winter (my second favorite season!). But fall has a hold on my heart.

I’ve long adored this brief season that quietly slips in and ends by roaring into the next, blazing a trail of coziness and color in between. I celebrate my birthday in the fall (it was just this weekend — I turned 41!), the majority of the music I stream for these months is autumn-themed, and I wrote a whole entire devotional about seeing God all autumn long. I totally deck out my home in oranges and mustards, pull out my flannels and sweaters, and celebrate each holiday in a big way. My family loves football and my son plays, so Saturdays are spent at his games, Sundays are spent cheering for our hometown teams, and I make really good snacks — even though I don’t really follow the game. Grocery store aisles and coffee shop menus teem with my beloved pumpkin spice and I soak it all up in its limited edition glory.

I just love it all. Usually, I’m chomping at the bit to dive right into my favorite season. This summer was the hottest on record and I fully expected myself to decorate early, crank up the A/C, and longingly stare at the trees, willing their leaves to change.

But here we are all the way into October with my birthday celebrated and my son’s football season over, and though our trees have all turned, it’s still warm out; that lovely brisk autumn air hasn’t yet dropped here. The grass is still green, even my garden tomatoes continue to grow, and it just doesn’t feel like autumn… outside, or in my heart.

Maybe it’s because I’m worn out from the daily grind of work, home, kids, and all that goes along with managing a life.

Maybe it’s because I’m in long-term sadness as a beloved family member struggles with serious health issues, with no end or diagnosis in sight.

Maybe it’s because my husband traveled a lot for work this summer and we went on exactly one date.

Maybe it’s because September blazed into being this year with all the back-to-school ruckus of papers, new shoes, forms, spirit days, lunch menus, and schedules, and it was all due at once (and most of the things required a check).

Maybe it’s because the laundry never ever ends, and the shoe pile in the mudroom constantly overflows, and by the time I’ve dragged out the appropriate seasonal clothing from the basement tubs we’ve nearly moved on to the next one, and I can never quite catch up to my to-do list.

Maybe it’s because for my birthday I really wanted to take a trip to Minnesota’s North Shore, where the fall foliage is iconic as the lighthouse on Lake Superior, but the trees passed their peak weeks ago. The hot, dry summer led to an earlier turning, and with palpable disappointment I missed it.

One of my favorite artists, Mary Engelbreit, has a piece that features a frazzled-looking lady and a caption that reads, life is just so daily. I relate to that wild-haired, big-eyed, ready-to-snap lady’s statement deep in my soul and I wonder if that’s it, that I’m just so buried in the daily (which I usually feel sparkles with ordinary glory) — and I can’t claw through and see the wonder of it.

It’s still there, the pull to and evidence of God’s glory shimmering right on the edges of our real lives. I think about Jesus living His short, full, very real life here on Earth and I wonder if He saw the glory in the dirt. Did He ever struggle with work? Stress out over the dishes? Feel behind on all that He knew needed to be crammed into just a few years?

Then these words in Ecclesiastes come to mind, of seasons and turning and timing, and one phrase leaps out to my heart from them:

“I have seen the burden God has laid on the human race. He has made everything beautiful in its time. He has also set eternity in the human heart…”
Ecclesiastes 3:10-11 NIV

And I feel seen, knowing it’s there in that place of burden that my own human heart is getting bogged down. Standing right between everything God has made beautiful, with the knowledge of eternity and all I want to fit into this one precious life getting in the way of experiencing it all.

Like the leaves on the North Shore, turned ahead of time and out of sync with my expectations, I feel out of step with this season I love so much. But those passages in Ecclesiastes remind me of the Jesus I also love so much, that His life also turned ahead of time… and yet it was actually the exact, perfect, just right time.

Every step we take is all in His time, and there’s a grace and relief in that.

Even when it flies, the time is His. Even when it drags on and on, it’s His. Even when it feels off-beat, it’s His.

So I’ll look at the trees lining my street, changing colors on the timeline only they know, and breathe deep for a moment knowing the same One who changes the leaves can also change my heart.

 

Listen to today’s devotion below or on your fave podcast app!

The Crazy Thing That Happens When We Choose Not to Worry

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Don’t worry about anything; instead, pray about everything. Tell God what you need, and thank him for all he has done. Then you will experience God’s peace, which exceeds anything we can understand. His peace will guard your hearts and minds as you live in Christ Jesus.
Philippians 4:6-7 NLT

If we’re honest, sometimes it’s easier to stay busy, to keep going at an unsustainable pace, because we don’t want to face the anxieties and realities that are right under the surface. Keeping our hands and minds busy feels productive, and worrying about every possible what-if situation can give the illusion that we’re in control. But worry, control, busyness — none of those things give us true peace.

Instead, true peace comes from having the right posture. When we pray, petition, and present our requests to God, we become grounded again. We remember that God is still real, He’s still present, He’s still in control.

When our minds start to unravel, let’s practice this posture:

Open palms.
Deep, slow breaths.
Our bodies, our minds, our hearts surrendered and at rest.

And as we do, let’s bring all our worries to God and receive His peace.

What’s at Stake if You Stay Focused on Your Own Opinion

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I’m in the booth to your left, the one tucked up against the corner of the restaurant. It smells like fries and bacon, and the waitress brings two glasses of water in tall mason jars.

I picked this table for a reason. I’ve sat here many times with my husband when it seemed like we were worlds apart on the issues of the day. Suffice it to say, he and I haven’t exactly seen eye to eye when we vote. But this is the table where my husband and I sit after every political election to have dinner and conversation together. For as long as I can remember we’ve done this after leaving the polling place just up the street from here.

The polling place — it’s where the roads of our marriage have diverged when our ink pens hover over tiny ovals on secret ballots.

Election after election, we walk into the polling place, cast our ballots, and walk out, side by side. In time, the awkwardness of this marital divide has softened, even when our differences haven’t. We often joke on our way back to the car, “Did our votes cancel each other out again?” Sometimes they do; sometimes they don’t.

But always we have come here, to this table.

Long ago we made the decision to break bread together in the form of a shared plate of buffalo wings. We talk. We listen. And yes, we even disagree. This has never been easy. There have been tears at this table—mine. There has been defensiveness and eye-rolling—again, mine. There have been uncomfortable conversations that we carry back through the front door into our home. But believe it or not, we have learned from each other at this table and have found common ground from time to time.

Whenever I think about this table, it gives me hope.

Maybe you’ve been feeling like no one has room at the table for you anymore because of the way you feel about politics, parenting, climate change, alcoholic beverages, policing, critical race theory, religion, science, divorce, international adoption, vaccines, or public education. The list is unending.

Chances are, you are living in the tension of being misunderstood. And maybe these days you feel rejected or abandoned. Without warning, you lost a treasured friendship that fractured over a difference of opinion. You just found out your next-door neighbor unfriended you last week.

If there’s a way forward, the path feels hidden. But ignoring our differences doesn’t actually make anything safer. It just makes us more insulated and divided. Here’s what we risk if we don’t find a way forward: we will each end up sitting at a table of one.

If we have to agree with every single person in our church on every single issue, we will be sitting in a church of one.

If we have to agree with our neighbor on every single issue, we will live in a neighborhood of one.

A book club of one. A Bible study of one. A living room of one. A family of one.

We’re all going to sit alone at Thanksgiving and Christmas and even the communion table where Jesus beckons us to “Take and eat.” A table of one.

I know how uncomfortable it is. Every election cycle, every news story, and every political event has the potential to set off fireworks in my own home—and not the pretty kind but the explosive, cover-your-ears-and-run-for-cover kind.

But my husband and I have finally come to a place where our divisions no longer shock us. In the same way, our global divisions should not shock us.

Scott and I got married knowing full well that we didn’t always agree. But we got married anyway. Here’s why: because we loved “us” more than we hated what was different.

That conviction is what keeps us coming to this table twenty-five years later. Maybe that’s a starting place for each of us today: We can love “us” more than we hate what is different.

I understand how hard this is, but silence isn’t working (and neither is shouting on Facebook). I know of friends who haven’t talked in more than a year because of divisions over recent events. These friends used to sit at the same table, vacation together, worship together. As days turn to months turn to years, that gap will continue to widen unless it’s dealt with.

Maybe we could try this instead.

Instead of unfriending that college roommate with her unending rants on social media, use the Facebook Like button to let her know you love the photo of her kid holding up his new driver’s license.

Instead of arguing with your dad over how he voted, listen as he tells you what he’s been thinking. (We can listen without agreeing and still enjoy the Thanksgiving turkey!)

This doesn’t mean that the hot-button issues aren’t important. They are. But if our divisions create an all-or-nothing mentality, then we’re all missing out. So instead of focusing on everything that divides, let’s find points of connection. We might not agree with the way our next-door neighbors parent their children, but when we get to know them, we might realize that we both share a fondness for historical fiction and sushi.

I understand that sushi won’t save the world. And I know that this vinyl booth tucked into the corner of a small-town restaurant won’t right all the wrongs.

But like the old song says, “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.”

And with you.

Right here, at our table of two.

This excerpt from Come Sit with Me was written by Jennifer Dukes Lee.

Come Sit with Me: How to Delight in Differences, Love through Disagreements, and Live with Discomfort  features 26 of our (in)courage writers and will help you navigate tough relational tensions. Learn how to:

– delight in your differences
– honor and value others even when you disagree
– connect before you correct
– trust that God is working even when people disappoint you
– live and love like Jesus by serving others.

Whether you’re in the middle of a conflict without resolution or wondering how to enter into a friend’s pain, Come Sit With Me will serve as a gentle guide. Discover how God can work through your disagreements, differences, and discomfort in ways you might never expect.

Let us send you the introduction and the first two chapters for FREE! Sign up here.

You can also listen to Jennifer Dukes Lee read her entire chapter entitled, Table of One, on a special BONUS EPISODE of the (in)courage podcast! 

Listen here!

Stop Trying to Tough It Out and Do This Instead

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It’s OK. It’s not that bad.
It is so much worse for other people.
Everyone has bad stuff happen.
Everyone is counting on me. Suck it up and push through.

These are the phrases I’ve told myself over and over for the past eighteen months.

I won’t bore you with a long list of the big and small things that have happened to us over the past year and a half, but let me just say that being woken up by a tree falling on the roof smack dab in between where my husband and I were sleeping rates about a 4 on the 1 to 10 “Are you kidding?” scale.

I kept working, kept plugging along. I was behind on everything because I would sit down to work or look at my long list of things that needed to be checked off and freeze.

I’d tell myself:

“Just do the next thing!”
“Stop being so lazy.”
“You have a deadline. Just do something.”

And when I would try, in my own careful way, to explain to a group of people I was working with that life has been especially hard over the past year and a half, the response I got was, “Life has been hard for everyone.”

Yep. I agree.

But the not-so-thinly-veiled message was, “Stop complaining and suck it up.”

I finally began seeing a therapist because I had such a hard time functioning. I  couldn’t be creative or concentrate, and I didn’t want to hang out with anyone else besides my husband and my dog.

My therapist asked some initial questions, and I responded with “Yeah, this thing happened, but it’s not a big deal.” Or, “Yeah, it was hard for me, but other people have had it so much worse—”

She finally stopped me and asked, “Have you heard of compound trauma?”

I hadn’t. She went on to explain. “Yes, any one of those things on their own may not have sunk you. And you could have recovered. But what it sounds like is that life has been unrelenting, and each of these traumas — and that’s what they are, traumas — has left you without the ability to recover.”

And as soon as I heard this, I, a dedicated non-crier, broke down in a flood of tears.

Yes, other people have had horrible things that have happened to them. And I will mourn with them.

But the magnitude of someone else’s suffering does not lessen my suffering. And until I allow myself to grieve, I cannot recover.

So many of us, especially over the past three years, have been through surprisingly hard things. It doesn’t matter if other people are tougher than you. It doesn’t matter if your friend or your neighbor could handle circumstances better than you could.

We must stop trying to tough it out.

God has made it clear that in order to be there for others, we must allow God to comfort us.

2 Corinthians 1:3–4 (ESV) says, “Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction, so that we may be able to comfort those who are in any affliction, with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.”

God’s comfort comes in some surprising, and unexpected ways.

Pay attention to the words from your most tender-hearted friends. My friend Grace, when knowing I was struggling with my young dog’s terminal illness, passed on some wisdom. “My vet told me to tell myself, ‘Yes, they are going to pass. But not today. Today is a good day and we are going to be thankful for the good day today.’”

God comforts us through others who are going through similar circumstances. Thank God for Facebook support groups that have helped me with everything from dealing with my dog’s illness to reassuring me that I can have a safe place to ask questions after a car accident.

God comforts us through other people’s creative acts of kindness. Last week a group of friends sent some snacks (for us and our dog Moose), cards and letters, and a few toys for our animals to play with. A talented friend mailed me a card with a painting of our chicken, Bullwinkle, who had passed away. Recently, an old friend of my mother-in-law posted a picture of Roger’s mom on Facebook. We’d lost Betty last year and the picture was a comfort to Roger as his long grief continues.

Through the Word, prayers, and the love of the people God has surrounded us with, we feel His comfort.

While I and others cannot always be trusted to handle my hurt, God does not judge me for not being tough enough to go it alone. He calls Himself the God of all comfort and He proves that over and over again.

This article was written by Kathi Lipp and was originally published on (in)courage on August 24, 2022.

Listen to today’s article at the player below or wherever you stream podcasts.

You May Not Need Fresh Insight But an Old Reminder

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The sun was shining so brightly that I had to squint even with my sunglasses. It was one of those bright blue days – except I couldn’t manage to pay attention to the color of the sky. 

The last few months had been hard on my heart. It was like the waves of an ocean had pummeled my heart, over and over, and I was left bruised, tender, and apathetic. My soul frothed and foamed with overwhelm, like the relentless churn of the ocean’s tide. I was in a rental car, driving five hours to preach at a conference in the capital city of Canada, but all I could think about was how tired and numb I felt from this past spring. 

I felt frayed at the edges, like a garment with a loose string – and if I pulled the string, I would unravel.

Drowning or unraveling in overwhelm isn’t fun. Or was it overwhelm? Maybe it was sadness? Or numbness? I couldn’t put my finger on it. I felt overwhelmed, and at the same time, didn’t feel much at all. 

I kept driving. Sometimes when I feel this way, when the sky doesn’t seem as blue and the clouds don’t appear as crisp, it’s a good indicator for me to pay attention to my soul. 

I didn’t know the words to pray. Help? Heal me? I uttered both of those prayers, half-heartedly. 

I don’t always have it in me to pray like I want to. I can’t always think of new thoughts, new words, or new ideas to bring to the ears of Jesus. When I don’t have the words, I can choose to recall and remember. We don’t always need fresh insight; instead, sometimes we need old reminders. 

The first people to hear the incredible news of Jesus rising from the dead were women who were friends with Jesus. The group of women had gone to the tomb early in the morning on Sunday, only to discover that the stone guarding the tomb had been rolled away and Jesus’ body was nowhere to be found. 

Suddenly, the most dazzling light they’d ever seen appeared in front of them. To their surprise, two angels stood beside them. The women – naturally terrified and trembling – put their heads to the ground while the angels told them, “Remember how he told you, while he was still with you in Galilee: ‘The Son of Man must be delivered over to the hands of sinners, be crucified and on the third day be raised again.’ Then they remembered his words” (Luke 24:5-8 NIV).

The women had forgotten what Jesus had told them: He would die and rise again. But when they heard what the angels said, the women remembered. 

Sometimes prayer is simply recalling what God has said in the past, in order to fuel our faith for the future. When Jesus had dinner with His friends for the last time, He told them to do it again in remembrance of Him (Luke 22:19). 

Jesus calls us to remember. Sometimes God gives us visions, dreams, or prophetic words through others; or Scripture will jump out to us in the most sudden way, a verse perfectly applying to our current circumstance. But other times, we need to pray in remembrance. 

As I drove to the conference I was preaching at, my heart heavy and pummeled, I chose to remember. Sometimes we don’t have words; instead, we have memories. I remembered some of the ways God has moved in my life. I remembered how He saved my life – not just on the cross, but in a hundred little ways each day. I remembered His kindness, His nearness, His goodness. 

After I preached, I stayed the weekend with one of my best friends. We spent a few days together, and when I drove home, I realized the sky seemed blue again. I was reminded of how the love of God and the love of a good friend is often the beginning of healing.

God doesn’t stop moving even now. When you cannot pray, choose instead to remember. Remember Jesus’ words. Remember who He is. Pray in remembrance of the past, and it will bring you faith for today.

 

Listen to today’s devotion below or wherever you stream podcasts!

When I Want to Run from Tenderness

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I hold my phone in my right hand, open the messaging app, read the latest message, watch it fade to a black screen, and then open it to read the message again. And again. They aren’t coming, I say to myself. You should have known something would come up, I think.

Plans changing is nothing new. However valid and “this is life” the reasons stack up to be, it never seems to get easier. After our collective years of cancellation, isolation, plans put on hold throughout lock-downs, illness, and all of the long-ranging consequences of the pandemic that we’re still living through, it’s easy to think we’ve all become used to holding plans loosely . . . maybe even relationships, too.

I tell my husband the latest update on our plans and make sure to not make eye contact so I can push away the ache that’s trying to find its voice under my skin. I find myself thinking, This shouldn’t be so surprising – you should be used to this by now.

A health issue is the reason for canceling, so I’m embarrassed to have my own feelings about it all. I feel selfish for feeling these feelings while thinking I should care more about the reason and how it impacts this person I love. So I follow my “should” into worry, and spend hours researching medical websites, whys, and hows. I copy and paste and make a list in my notes app for further research. I avoid my feelings by staring and clicking and scrolling — searching for any possible way to make what’s unfolded fold back up again like it was supposed to be.

The thing is, we aren’t supposed to be used to disappointment, pain, and hurt. What “used to it by now” really means is a tender heart that’s lost some of its tenderness.

I love talking about staying tender until the work of it feels too much and I realize tenderness in our world isn’t just pretty flower petals and all things soft and lovely. It is work that can be painful and it will always leave us vulnerable. Sometimes we lose a petal in the process.

Tenderness is a messy risk, but the alternative is much more destructive in the long run.

After days of explaining the unavoidable away, I’m ready to say it out loud: this sucks. I’m disappointed. I’m worried for the person I love and I’m angry for the loss of time with them again.

I tell my husband how sad I feel. I text a friend and ask for prayer. And it’s in the honesty and the untying of forced tidy bows, that I begin to feel my heart beating again.

I make my own proverb in the pain of feeling everything I feel without judgment: A hard heart leads to death, and a soft, tender heart leads to life.

And in the midst of this kind of honesty, I find Jesus, right there with me, reminding me that He is a man who wept for His friends, who knows what it feels like to lose a friend, to be betrayed and questioned, thought of as less than He was, to be left alone in the dark, to be looked down upon, and to wish things were different than they were. Jesus didn’t make a list of feelings and which ones were worthy of being expressed. He felt. He expressed His feelings.

I remember that God is a God of feelings and heart, and He doesn’t despise my feelings or speak to my tenderness with “shoulds” like I still do. I remember that He is tenderhearted and I find deep comfort in a God whose heart is soft and alive – a wide enough space of welcome for all of my aches and feelings to safely land. A wide and tender space of welcome for all of your feelings too.

 

Listen to today’s devotion below or on your fave podcast app!

You Can Sit with Us (and Other Ways to Spread Kindness)

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Recently, I got a Facebook message from a girl who was really mean to me in school. We were actually best friends for years before that. I’m talking slumber parties, Christmas presents, friendship bracelets. The whole deal. But one school year she found a new table at lunch and a new group of friends, and seemingly overnight they were “the cool kids” with me as their target for years to come.

Her recent message wasn’t even mean, but decades later I still had a pit in my stomach when I realized who it was from. Imagine your childhood bully, just casually sliding into your DM’s as you were writing an article about being bullied and why kindness is so important to you all these years later. Imagine THAT! God is really funny.

In my new children’s book, Spreading Kindness like Betty Confetti, Betty is a girl who constantly goes out of her way to welcome the “new kid”, Brandi, who was feeling left out at school. Betty tries so hard because she remembers what it felt like to be on the outside, herself.

This is so important to me because I’ve lived it.

I’ve often been picked on for being “too much,” picked last for the team, or not chosen at all. I don’t always bounce back quickly from unkind words, but it is God who restores my heart and helps me offer grace and forgiveness to others time and time again.

Once I was the girl looking anxiously around the lunch room, holding my tray, and not knowing where it was safe to sit. Now I’m the woman who confidently says, “You can sit with us!”

One day in school when the mean girls were their meanest, I cried myself to sleep, praying for God to send me just one true friend. Now, I can see SO clearly how He did all that and more. The Lord so lovingly found a way to send me just the friend I needed, to spread kindness like confetti in every season of my life.

I think about how God sent me Susanne on my first day of kindergarten, and now she’s a kindergarten teacher herself. Or how I met Julie as we changed schools and became the “new kids” on the soccer team together. The answer to my prayer in this story was Rach, and she still prays for me, even now. In college came my awesome roommate Andrea, and we are so much alike that it’s wild! On Sorority Bid Day, I actually wasn’t picked at all, but my friend Nicole was waiting for me with open arms, and a BFF T-shirt she made to let me know I still belonged.

It’s not like I’ve gone decades without hurt feelings or heartache, but friends like these make every burden in life a little bit easier to carry.

Even as I entered the workforce pretending to be an adult, I was new, nervous, and lonely.  I didn’t know I was about to meet some of the most loyal friends I have ever known. These days, God abundantly answers my grade school prayer with a community of fellow moms (and a real-life Brandi) who have become like family. Just ask my first grader — two of them are his emergency contacts!

I pray Spreading Kindness like Betty Confetti encourages every follower of Jesus (both young and old) to not only pray for God to send us kind friends, but for each of us to BE the KIND of friend others need. To send the invitation, to save the seat, to make room in our hearts, and to pull up an extra chair. I hope that as Christian parents, grandparents, and teachers we will show our children how to include others and be kind to those who may feel left out. May we understand and model that our words matter SO deeply that they can have a lasting impact on others for years to come.

As Betty learned:
You’ve yet to meet a person that Jesus doesn’t love,
so let’s help spread His kindness while He watches from above.

I bet we’ve all had a time when we had our feelings hurt by someone else. Some of us may still be hurting and I pray the Lord helps us forgive and move forward with peace that He has better plans (and better friends) waiting for us. I’m laughing as I also pray that they don’t message you on Facebook tonight just to test your forgiveness.

We have the chance every day to spread kindness like confetti, just like Betty! We can do that In our communities, in our homes. In our churches and in our schools. Whether it’s In the lunch room or in the boardroom, God can use our kind hearts to bless all of those around us. Our friendship can be an answer to someone’s prayer, just when they need it the most.

Is there someone God has laid on your heart that can use some extra kindness? How can you sprinkle some confetti their way today?

Kindness is like confetti; there’s always lots to spare. When we love like Jesus does, we spread it everywhere! Spreading Kindness like Betty Confetti, the second book in the popular Betty Confetti Inspirational Children’s storybook series by author and artist Maghon Taylor, illustrates the importance of being kind to everyone everywhere. Perfect for a little one in your life, this sweet book helps teach about kindness in an adorable and accessible way. When Betty sees a new girl at school, she tries her hardest to offer a warm welcome, but so many obstacles get in Betty’s way! Notes get passed to the wrong people. Lunchroom invitations get mixed up. But in the end, Betty’s kind heart wins the day when she shares kindness with others.

We’re thrilled to give away FIVE copies of Spreading Kindness like Betty Confetti! Just leave a comment about a time you’ve experienced kindness.

And tune in to the (in)courage podcast this weekend as Maghon Taylor and Becky Keife have a conversation about Spreading Kindness like Betty Confetti!

Listen to today’s devotion at the player below or wherever you stream podcasts.

 

*Giveaway open to US addresses only and closes at 11:59 pm central on 10/1/23.

The Amazing Thing That Can Happen When We’re Simply Living Out Our Faith

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As a life plan advisor at a retirement community, I’m part of a marketing team whose office is about 100 yards from administration. That means a lot of back and forth when I’m busy, so my step count – and surely my health – benefits.

It is rare for me to go from building to building without a stop or two. With 250 residents, I’m bound to run into a friend, and oftentimes, a few. Inevitably, conversation ensues. But ever a dutiful taskmaster, the clock reminds me I have work to do, and I’m reluctantly on my way.

One ordinary Thursday I was in a rush to get back to my office. Way down the hall, I noticed Mrs. Jones leaving her apartment and stopping a few doors down to knock on a neighbor’s door. As I neared, I couldn’t help but overhear their exchange.

“I wanted to apologize for what I said yesterday,” Mrs. Jones began. “I’m a Christian, and I know better than to talk about other people. I should’ve kept my mouth shut….” Her voice trailed as her neighbor tried to make her feel better.

“Why, I didn’t think twice about it, but I certainly forgive you. Would you like to come in and visit a while?”

About that moment, I brushed past the two of them, hugging the wall and pretending to be invisible.

Headed out for the day, Mrs. Jones declined her neighbor’s invitation and again reiterated why she was there. “I kept thinking about what I said last night, and I knew I had to apologize as soon as I could. I can’t take it back, but I am sorry for what I said.”

Soon enough, I was out of earshot, but I could still detect her neighbor’s gracious tone. There was something refreshingly childlike in their conversation, and my mind wandered to Robert Fulghum’s 1989 bestseller, All I Really Need to Know I Learned in Kindergarten. Sweet as saccharine, as memory serves me, his essays talked about how our world would be a better place if we followed the same rules we teach our children – how to share, clean up what you mess up, and be kind to one another.

We learn good manners, common decencies, and how to treat others when we’re young, but sometimes we forget when we grow up, don’t we?

Throughout the day, my thoughts returned to these women who were living their faith in the most basic of ways. Confessing sin. Forgiving quickly. When you live out your faith, people notice.

And, even if no one is around to observe, when you live out your faith, God is glorified.

I’ve grown frustrated and admittedly judgmental toward the absence of civility among people who identify as “Christian.” With a looming presidential election, we’ve already seen contention on both sides of the aisle. Social media and its echo chamber algorithms love to stir the pot. And yet, though our nation has become increasingly polarized, that doesn’t give any of us permission to be rude or hateful. Quite the contrary as people created in the image of God. As His image bearers, we have the privilege and responsibility of reflecting His character.

From Genesis to Revelation, we can discover glimpses of God’s character. Consider, for example, the fruit of the Spirit as described in Galatians 5:22-23 (NASB):

…love, joy, peace. Patience, kindness, goodness. Faithfulness, gentleness, self-control.

In the Gospels, we meet God in human form through the life, death, and resurrection of His Son, Jesus. We see tenderness coupled with strength. Truth tempered by compassion. Power displayed through His touch, His actions, His words, and His prayers. In Jesus, we find a God who sympathizes with our weakness, understands our temptations, and forgives us again and again and again.  

True, we’re born into a broken world, and in our flesh, we’re prone to sin. But, getting frustrated with or judgmental toward others doesn’t change a thing; it can even be self-destructive. What if, instead, we lived what we profess, following Ephesians 4:29-32 (NLT) as our guide?

“Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them…. Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.”

In living out their faith on an ordinary Thursday, two precious older ladies pointed me to Jesus and glorified God through their actions. I was reminded that some of the most important things I need to know I learned as a child.

Although counter-cultural in His time, Jesus invited little children into His life. He understood what Robert Fulghum would write about centuries later — kindergarteners are pretty darn smart.

Age is irrelevant in the kingdom of God. Living out our faith always makes a difference.

Every interaction with others is an opportunity to love well and bring glory to God. When we reflect any aspect of God’s character, we’re creating the kind of culture our broken world needs to see. We never know who might be watching, and our words and actions might just be preaching a message they need to hear.

 

Listen to today’s devotion on the player below or on your fave podcast app!

God Is Listening. It’s Time to Tell Him What You Need.

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You will call to me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.
Jeremiah 29:12 CSB

Can you think of a greater gift than the Creator of the heavens and the earth, the God of yesterday, today, and tomorrow, the Savior of the world listening to your prayers?

The One who holds the stars in place also holds the concerns of your heart. 

The One who parted the Red Sea can make a way for everything you need.

Consider the beauty of the Lord’s words: You will call to me and come and pray to me, and I will listen to you.

Take time today to call out to your Creator, come to your Savior, pray in the power of the Holy Spirit. 

He’s listening.

We invite you to also share your prayer request in the comments. It’s our joy as a community to pray for one another.

 

Google or God?

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The Lord brought me forth as the first of his works, before his deeds of old; I was formed long ages ago, at the very beginning, when the world came to be.
Proverbs 8:22–23 NIV

Raise your hand if you reach for your phone, open up a browser, and ask Google for the answer to every question you have. Whether we’re searching for solutions to everyday problems, like how to unclog a sink drain, or searching for answers to more serious matters, like what side effects are caused by a parent’s cancer medication, the internet has become our source of help, hope, knowledge, and wisdom. First of all, let’s thank God for access to such a wealth of information! But then let’s ask ourselves, how often do we turn to Google instead of God for wisdom?

I’m raising my hand right there with you! It’s easy to turn to every other reliable source out there when we need guidance in understanding something. Trusting what’s tangible is simpler than having faith in the unseen — and sometimes that’s okay! God has given us tools, resources, friends, and mentors to help us live well, but we want to make sure that our ultimate source of understanding and knowledge is the wisdom of God.

The Bible consists of sixty-six books written by various authors and in different genres. One genre is wisdom literature, which includes Job, Proverbs, and Ecclesiastes. Together, these books share practical insights into how to live wisely.

In Proverbs 8:1–9, God’s wisdom is personified as a woman who stands at the city gates and urges us to listen and heed her call. Let’s take a deep breath, settle in, and listen to what she has to say to us today.

Read Proverbs 8 in its entirety. What parts stand out to you about Wisdom and why?

Wisdom offers herself fully, freely, and generously to anyone who will listen and choose her — regardless of our beliefs, status, life experiences, or background. And whether we’re aware of it or not, wisdom is applied by people every single day in all spheres of life — whether it’s by kings and rulers, as verses 15–16 tell us, or by the special needs teacher who’s figuring out how to care for and educate her students well, or by the employee who wants to hold their manager accountable for inappropriate behavior, or by the young woman who notices the toxic behavior of a friend and doesn’t know what to do. Everyone needs wisdom to live this life well.

For each sticky situation we find ourselves in and for all the knowledge we need help understanding, we have access to the ultimate source of insight we need: the wisdom of God.

God’s wisdom is necessary for people to survive, flourish, and fully enjoy life. His wisdom is our ultimate guide and has been since the very beginning of time. Thus, our passage for today:

“The Lord brought me forth as the first of his works,
before his deeds of old;
I was formed long ages ago,
at the very beginning, when the world came to be.”
Proverbs 8:22–23

The wisdom of God created boundaries where there was formlessness, light where there was darkness, and order out of chaos. And as God delighted over each day’s work, so did wisdom (v.31).

Now, in the same way, wisdom continues the work of shaping and creating, ordering and delighting, and giving us life when we live according to her instructions. Better than Google, wisdom is accessible to all, giving us structure and guidelines by which we can thrive.

It boils down to this: all we’ve got is God, and to begin to live wisely, we fear Him (Prov. 1:7) and obey His commandments. This doesn’t mean we need to be afraid of Him. It means that we understand who He is and who we are — He is God, and we are not. We live, struggle through, and enjoy this one life we have while being in awe of Him. And we heed His words to us, choosing to walk in His love, grace, and wisdom.

Let’s ask and seek God for wisdom, knowledge, and understanding because He is our greatest source for them all.

God, I love that from the very beginning of this world Your wisdom has been present, woven into everything we see and enjoy. I know nothing is guaranteed in life, even the goodness and well-being that could come with wisdom. But knowing that You are the source of all wisdom gives me the confidence to navigate any situation. Even when there doesn’t seem to be a way out, You can see a way through, and I trust You. I pray that my ears will be open to hear wisdom’s call so that in everything I do, I can live wisely. Amen.

Devotion by Grace P. Cho, adapted from Create in Me a Heart of Wisdom 

Create in Me a Heart of Wisdom teaches that wisdom is learned by understanding knowledge, listening to the Holy Spirit, experiencing struggle, being in community, and practicing what we learn over a lifetime. It won’t offer solutions to specific problems, but it will offer spiritual insight and practical guided questions throughout the study to help you seek God and gain the wisdom you need.

 Get a free week and learn more about the Create in Me a Heart of Wisdom Bible study!