Why You Won’t Ask for Help

Why You Won’t Ask for Help

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Last month, I found out that my friend, Jeanette, was going to be in town staying with our other friend, Susy. As much as I wanted to see Jeanette, I had decided to shut down any plans because my schedule was so crazy with work and travel, and I couldn’t take the time to either go to Susy’s side of town or cook for everyone at my house. (In my brain, these were the only two options.)

I hated that my busyness was going to keep me from spending time with one of my favorite people, but that’s what adults have to do sometimes, isn’t it?

When I hadn’t gotten back to Susy right away, I received a follow-up message from her:

“I know you’re getting ready to go out of town. What if we came to your house and brought dinner?”

My first reaction was no. It felt like the least hospitable suggestion I’d ever heard. I felt guilty for even considering it. But I knew that I wanted to see my friends, and I needed the help.

So I put my pride aside and responded, “That sounds lovely.” A few days later, Susy and Jeannette not only brought over homemade stew and Irish soda bread, but also an assortment of crafts that we worked on while chatting. We had a delightful evening. I got to hang out with my friends and enjoy an amazing Irish dinner and some seasonal crafts.

All because I said yes to an offer of help.

As I was preparing for my own holiday events earlier this season, I shared on social media that I have something called “The Help List,” prepared for people who come to my house for a big celebration. People who want to help can choose any task on the list, from loading the dishwasher to preparing the cheese board. I shared that I asked all of our adult children to plan, prep, and clean up one meal so that I wasn’t stuck in the kitchen all day, every day, and could hang out with our family. We only get to spend time together maybe six times a year so I wanted to make the most of it.

It wasn’t your typical contentious post that goes viral. Nothing earth-shattering. Just, you know, how to ask for help.

That post? Has almost two thousand comments. I normally get excited about twenty comments on one of my day-to-day posts.

To say it hit a nerve may be an understatement.

But why? Why is the idea of asking for help so, so hard, or even controversial? Some people were shocked that I wasn’t going to serve my family to give my adult kids a break, and some said that I was selfish for even asking for help.

We have been fed some very specific lies about the ideas of help from movies, social media, and in some cases, dysfunctional family members. Maybe you’ve heard some of these lies too:

1. It’s better to not need help. As a woman, we’ve been told by the media that one of the best things that can be said about us is, “I don’t know how she does it.” (In fact, there is even a movie with that title.) In other words, she does everything for her family, her friends, and her community without needing any help whatsoever.

2. What if I ask and nobody answers? What if I ask for help and no one wants to help me? What does that say about me as a mother, a wife, a daughter, and a friend?

3. Help triggers inferiority or arrogance. I have refused to ask for help on both sides of this scale. Inferiority says that I should be able to do this all on my own. If I can’t, it’s because there is something wrong with me. Arrogance says that I don’t want anyone else’s help because they just won’t do it like I would do it.

But here is the thing: we are designed to be both the helper and the helped. Galatians 6:2 says, “Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ” (NIV). Not only are we to help other people, but we are to be on the receiving end of that help.

Needing help is a part of life and being asked for it is part of healthy relationships, but sometimes it can still be challenging. So what do we do?

Consider it a deposit. When I ask for help, what I’m trying to tell the other person is that I will be there when they need it. I want to ask for help so that others know that I am a safe person to ask when they need help too.

I should have known that Susy would have exactly zero qualms about bringing dinner. We’ve done that for each other dozens of times. Making mutual deposits into our friendship for years has not only deepened our connection but also ensured that someone we know will be there when things are hard.

Offer small and accept small ways of helping. Start with low-risk helps. “I’m heading to your house now and am stopping by the store. Can I pick up anything for you?” When was the last time you threw a party and had enough ice? The “I’m already stopping at the store” part makes it easy for people to ask for help without feeling like they are inconveniencing you.

You know you’re on your way to building friendships and community when are you not only regularly offering help, but also asking for it as well.

Want to learn more about a helping community in the mountains? Click here to check out Kathi’s book, The Accidental Homesteader.

 

Listen to today’s devotion below or on your fave podcast app!

For When the Storm Just Won’t Let Up

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Panic hit like a freight train. I woke up to hundreds of social media notifications on an otherwise regular Wednesday, and the one thought running through my mind was: I’ve been hacked again.

I waited for the page to load, my stomach in knots, remembering the last time this happened. Sure enough, thousands of comments filled the screen, another hundred appearing every time I clicked “see more”, and my mouth literally dropped open as I scrolled.

My eyes filled with tears as I read each and every one, slowly realizing that 99% of the strangers leaving messages wrote their own versions of “me too” or replied to someone else with a kind word or prayer.

The day before, I prayed, “God, let it cross the screen of whoever needs it today.” I took a deep breath, clicked publish, closed the browser, and stepped away. After five months of quietly sitting with the image, I attempted to put it into words, certain I didn’t have the “right” ones but confident it was time.

There must be someone who needs this visual, too, I thought.

This summer, while at the beach with my family, a storm arrived out of the clear blue. One minute the sun was shining, the waves were lapping, and the wind was a gentle breeze. The next, we scrambled to gather chairs and strained to keep the tent from flying. Rain fell in sheets and I inched forward, walking straight into a wall of wind.

It was hilarious — one of those ‘this is a memory in the making’ moments — until I stood on the balcony of the rented condo and saw the speck of a bird riding out the crashing waves. As if we switched places, I watched the bird from above and I told the One who walks on water, “That’s me right there and I’m exhausted.”

This year has been a tsunami, to put it mildly. The number of times I’ve said, “The hits just keep on coming. Every time I think I see a break in the waves, the storm picks up,” would be laughable… if it weren’t so heartbreaking.

More than ever before, I’m uninterested in pretty words that are empty promises. If you had a similar year, I imagine the same is true for you. But if you’ll let me, I’m coming up for air to share the anchor that has held.

It’s all I’ve got; it’s been more than enough.

One day, every storm will be permanently silenced. One day, chaos will be calmed for good. But for today: We don’t have to hold it together. There is One who is holding us, and He’s familiar with waves. Sometimes Jesus says, “Peace, be still” to the waters that rise, and sometimes, instead, He says those words to our overwhelmed hearts. But He never shows up with a tidy “just choose joy!” bow, never dismisses our sadness or grows weary of how long we’ve struggled to stay afloat. No, Hope just gets in the boat.

And, apparently, sometimes Hope uses a comment section to remind those who are exhausted that they’re far from alone.

The post reached nearly one million people. At first, I was heartbroken. Just one person in the middle of an intense storm is one too many. But the more I scrolled, the wider I smiled, struck by the visual of strangers reaching out to each other with encouragement like a life preserver. There were no cliches, just compassion and kindness lifting up those who raised a hand and said, “The waves won’t stop and I’m really tired.”

I wonder if you feel that way today, if you’re ready for the calendar page to turn so 2023 moves to the rearview. I wonder if the storm came out of nowhere and you’re barely inching forward, if you sang “All is calm, all is bright” on Christmas Eve while gulping for air in between the waves. I wonder if this year took everything you had and then asked for more.

There’s nothing magical about the new year, no guarantee that you and I will catch our breath right as the clock strikes midnight, but there’s a gift we get to keep unwrapping long after Christmas morning. The ever-present promise of Emmanuel, God With Us, will hold true in the storm. Jesus will stay the same no matter the calendar page.

If you’ve been pummeled by waves, you’re far from alone — there are many of us right there with you. But more importantly, we have an anchor that will hold fast, an assurance that Hope not only gets in the boat, but Hope will hold.

Hebrews 6:19 promises: “We have this hope as an anchor for the soul, firm and secure” (NIV).

The waves might keep on coming and the storm may keep on raging, but the sun will keep on rising. We may not know when and we may not see how, but we can trust Who.

God sees the other side, and He will see us through.

If your 2023 was a tsunami and you’d like more encouragement as you ride out the storm, Kaitlyn’s book Even If Not: Living, Loving, and Learning in the in Between will help you choose hope for tomorrow when today feels like a question mark.

 

Listen to today’s devotion below or on your fave podcast app!

The Truth About Being in That Awkward In-Between Space

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Have you seen that meme that says something like, “Time doesn’t actually exist between Christmas and New Years”? And it’s true for me. What do we do with this time when the sheer craziness of the holidays has sort of lost its shine but it’s not the new year just yet? Time purgatory! My husband wants the decorations down immediately and I want to deny the reality of doing any not-so-fun task and leave them up till Valentine’s Day. While I don’t want to un-deck the halls, I also don’t want to just sit around. After such GO GO GO through the holidays, it can feel weird to just be. It’s like the juxtaposition of a train running at 300 mph to sitting at the train station — to me, it feels disorienting.

What I’ve been thinking a lot about lately is Mary’s perspective in the Christmas story. The Messiah had come! It was a great culmination of all the hopes and dreams for all people through this baby, and yet afterward… it was, well, silent. The shepherds were far out in the fields and we aren’t sure how long it took them to get to Jesus. And the wise men came much later, probably two years after Jesus’s birth. We tell the nativity story as if it were one amazing event after the next and Mary could hardly catch her breath. But that’s not how the timeline went.

I think it’s safe to say that there was quite an awkward bit of space after Jesus was born before they had to start moving again to escape Herod. Mary knew this was the fulfillment of the prophets after such a long time of silence and waiting (400 years!). She was holding the Messiah in the flesh. And He was a helpless newborn, who required the same monotonous day in and out care that all babies do: feed the baby, change the baby, let the baby sleep, watch the baby sleep and make sure they’re breathing, and lastly second guess if you saw the baby’s chest rise and watch for it again. Over and over. I imagine Jesus cries in the night, and Mary, with tired eyes feels her way over to the manger to comfort him with her probably very sore breasts. If you’re a mother, you know exactly what I’m talking about. The blur and exhaustion of those days are incomparable. 

What we do know about the Gospel of Luke is that he tells us the inner thoughts of Mary throughout her birth story. In Luke 2:19 we read some of this inner thought dialogue in two different versions:

“But Mary was treasuring up all these things in her heart and meditating on them.” (CSB)

“But Mary kept all these sayings, pondering them in her heart.” (ASV)

How would he know her inner thoughts and how would he know what she treasured in her heart? I think because he actually spoke with her and dictated her story. It is mentioned twice, this kind of treasuring in her heart. Another word for treasure in Greek is “ponder”, which means to “preserve” and even “to wrestle with.”

Mary was a deep thinker. She had a lot of time in between birthing and fleeing to wrestle with questions she had in her heart. Thinking of Mary wrestling with her great responsibility as the Messiah’s mother puts some skin and humanity on this Gospel. Mary’s wrestling with God also reminds us that pondering and asking God questions about the events of our lives is not a sin. It’s just human. These in-between moments are letting us catch our breath, they give us a little bit of space to process the difficult and joyful events that have just happened to us this past year and to even ponder what’s ahead. It’s valuable and documented right here in the Christmas story. Mary is processing. 

The Christmas story reminds us God is called Immanuel: God with us. We are quick to relate this with-ness to the crescendo of Jesus’s birth: Look! He came to be with us!  Or maybe we’re quick to point out where God was with people in the Bible in some dark, exhausting times. Those are both true. But I love that God is just as much with us in the hard times or good times as He is in the in-between times. The awkward space. He is with us in the, What am I supposed to do next? In the, Why did this happen to me? And the, I don’t know what my purpose is lately. He’s with us on the long road of monotonous service to others. The, When will I get to move forward?

So, for those who are in that awkward gray space, you don’t need to rush out of this: God is with you. For the deep thinkers wrestling through bewildering circumstances that don’t quite make sense: God is with you. For those who wonder about the future and are eager to see what God does through all this monotony: God is with you. 

And for those who want to take down the Christmas tree the day after Christmas, you need to pray about that. (Yes, I’m teasing. Sort of!) 

God is with us all. Hallelujah.

Listen to today’s devotion below or on your favorite podcast app!

Merry Christmas! Let’s Celebrate the Greatest Gift!

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The birth of Jesus took place like this. His mother, Mary, was engaged to be married to Joseph. Before they enjoyed their wedding night, Joseph discovered she was pregnant. (It was by the Holy Spirit, but he didn’t know that.) Joseph, chagrined but noble, determined to take care of things quietly so Mary would not be disgraced.

 While he was trying to figure a way out, he had a dream. God’s angel spoke in the dream: “Joseph, son of David, don’t hesitate to get married. Mary’s pregnancy is Spirit-conceived. God’s Holy Spirit has made her pregnant. She will bring a son to birth, and when she does, you, Joseph, will name him Jesus—‘God saves’—because he will save his people from their sins.” This would bring the prophet’s embryonic revelation to full term:

Watch for this—a virgin will get pregnant and bear a son;
They will name him Immanuel (Hebrew for “God is with us”).

Then Joseph woke up. He did exactly what God’s angel commanded in the dream: He married Mary. But he did not consummate the marriage until she had the baby. He named the baby Jesus.
Matthew 1:18-15 The Message

We’ve journeyed together through Christ’s promises for weeks, and now we’re here!

Merry, merry Christmas.

May your day be bright as you celebrate the Greatest Gift — the never-ending, amazing love of Jesus. He is our Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God, Eternal Father, and Prince of Peace, and He loves you dearly.

Like the angels and shepherds, we cry, “Glory to God in the highest!”

We’re thanking God for the gift of Emmanuel, the gift of a Savior, and God’s radical, creative love in sending Him as a baby named Jesus.

Merry Christmas, friends, from all of us here at (in)courage!

The Promise of a Savior

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Below is a story you are probably familiar with — the story of Jesus’s birth. But sometimes we’re prone to lose the wonder over what is familiar. So today we invite you to pause. Ask God to give you fresh eyes to see and a heart soft and ready to receive a new revelation about the story that changes everything. 

The Birth of Jesus

In those days a decree went out from Caesar Augustus that the whole empire should be registered. 2 This first registration took place while[b] Quirinius was governing Syria. 3 So everyone went to be registered, each to his own town.

4 Joseph also went up from the town of Nazareth in Galilee, to Judea, to the city of David, which is called Bethlehem, because he was of the house and family line of David, 5 to be registered along with Mary, who was engaged to him and was pregnant. 6 While they were there, the time came for her to give birth. 7 Then she gave birth to her firstborn son, and she wrapped him tightly in cloth and laid him in a manger,[d] because there was no guest room available for them.

The Shepherds and the Angels

8 In the same region, shepherds were staying out in the fields and keeping watch at night over their flock. 9 Then an angel of the Lord stood before them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. 10 But the angel said to them, “Don’t be afraid, for look, I proclaim to you good news of great joy that will be for all the people: 11 Today in the city of David a Savior was born for you, who is the Messiah, the Lord. 12 This will be the sign for you: You will find a baby wrapped tightly in cloth and lying in a manger.”

13 Suddenly there was a multitude of the heavenly host with the angel, praising God and saying:

14 Glory to God in the highest heaven,
and peace on earth to people he favors!

15 When the angels had left them and returned to heaven, the shepherds said to one another, “Let’s go straight to Bethlehem and see what has happened, which the Lord has made known to us.”

16 They hurried off and found both Mary and Joseph, and the baby who was lying in the manger. 17 After seeing them, they reported the message they were told about this child, 18 and all who heard it were amazed at what the shepherds said to them. 19 But Mary was treasuring up all these things in her heart and meditating on them. 20 The shepherds returned, glorifying and praising God for all the things they had seen and heard, which were just as they had been told.
Luke 2:1-20 CSB

Today marks the fourth Sunday in the season of Advent, the four weeks leading up to Christmas Day. We’ve been journeying with these ancient promises for the full season of Advent, and it’s led us here to Christmas Eve. May you experience God’s Word in fresh ways tonight, as we anticipate Christmas morning.

 

As you consider today’s Scripture reading, we invite you to take a moment to observe, reflect, and respond:

OBSERVE Who is God? What are you learning about God’s character from His promises?

REFLECT Where is God? How is He moving during this busy season?

RESPOND Pray, confess, and give thanks. How will today’s promise from God make your Christmas richer?

 

The Promise of Peace

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“For a child will be born for us,
a son will be given to us,
and the government will be on his shoulders.
He will be named
Wonderful Counselor, Mighty God,
Eternal Father, Prince of Peace.”
Isaiah 9:6 CSB

As the close of this Advent season drawns near, perhaps more than ever, we feel the ache of wanting God to make all things right again. Let’s let the words of this familiar passage marinate in our hearts.

Jesus is our Wonderful Counselor. When we are in despair from the overwhelming pain of this year, we remember that God is Healer and Counselor. He is both the One who helps us and the very balm we need for our broken hearts, our fragile minds, and our bruised bodies.

Jesus is our Mighty God. When we are taken advantage of, when we feel powerless, God is our strength and our defender. No can stand against His powerful name.

Jesus is our Eternal Father. When we feel unloved — particularly during this holiday season, we remember that God is our loving Father. He has known us from before He created the world and knows where we are headed. He cares about each moment and every part of our lives.

Jesus is our Prince of Peace. When fear and anxiety rule our hearts, He is still the giver of peace. He Himself is Peace and dwells within us through the Holy Spirit. Find rest in Him.

Come, Lord Jesus, come. Amen. 

He will. And He has! And the same words Jesus spoke to His disciples on their last night together, He speaks to our hearts today.

“Peace I leave with you. My peace I give to you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Don’t let your heart be troubled or fearful.”
John 14:27 CSB

Indeed, the Savior is coming and has come. The Prince of Peace. The Only One we need.

We hope you’ve been enjoying learning more about the promises of God as we’ve been counting down to Christmas together! 

What stands out to you from today’s Scripture readings? Or what is your favorite promise of God? We’d love to hear.

 

Embracing the Gifts of the Season: Rest and Relationships

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As Christmas approaches, enveloping us in the heart of the winter holidays, the atmosphere resonates with the sweet melody of joy and anticipation. Streets are alive with twinkling lights, and the delightful aroma of festive treats permeates the air. This season is a time of celebration, marked by the gathering of families and the reunion of friends, all sharing in laughter and creating cherished memories.

So, as we find ourselves amidst the hustle and bustle of holiday preparations, I want to take a moment to check in with you. Have you been able to pause amid the festivities? Can you still your mind to reflect on the deeper significance of this season, looking beyond the glittering decorations and extravagant feasts? In our culturally diverse nation, where many of us celebrate more than one winter holiday—be it Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, the New Year, or others — the winter holidays not only provide us with the opportunity to celebrate but also extend an invitation to embrace the virtues of rest and nurturing relationships.

In our hectic lives, the call to rest echoes with particular resonance during the winter season. It is a time when nature itself takes a pause, with trees shedding their leaves, and the earth entering a period of hibernation in many ways. In the quiet of winter, we find a profound lesson — a reminder that rest is not only a physical necessity but a spiritual one. God, in His infinite wisdom, designed a rhythm of work and rest, and the winter holidays provide a unique chance to align ourselves with this divine cadence.

In the Gospel of Matthew, Jesus extends a gracious invitation: “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (Matthew 11:28 NIV). The winter holidays are an opportune time to heed this invitation, to lay aside the burdens of the year gone by, and to find rest in the loving embrace of our Savior. In the stillness of the season, we can draw near to God, seek solace in His presence, and allow Him to replenish our weary souls.

In the book of Exodus, we are reminded of God’s commandment to observe the Sabbath: “Remember the Sabbath day by keeping it holy” (Exodus 20:8 NIV). While the winter holidays may not be a Sabbath in the traditional sense, they provide a similar opportunity to set aside time for rest, reflection, and rejuvenation.

However, as we embrace the restful aspect of the winter holidays, let us not forget the second dimension that makes this season truly special — the chance to deepen our connections with family and friends. God created us to live in community, and our relationships are a precious gift from Him. The holidays offer a unique backdrop for fostering these connections; for in the warmth of shared celebrations, we find the space to nurture our relationships on a deeper level.

In the book of Ecclesiastes, we are reminded of the value of companionship: “Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor: If either of them falls down, one can help the other up. But pity anyone who falls and has no one to help them up” (Ecclesiastes 4:9-10 NIV). The winter holidays present a golden opportunity to be that helping hand, to share in each other’s joys and burdens, and to strengthen the bonds that make life richer. 

As we engage in the festivities of the season, let us be intentional about creating moments of connection, whether it’s through a shared meal, a heartfelt conversation, playing games together, or a simple act of kindness. These small gestures can have a lasting impact. Paul encouraged the Colossians to “Let the message of Christ dwell among you richly as you teach and admonish one another with all wisdom through psalms, hymns, and songs from the Spirit, singing to God with gratitude in your hearts” (Colossians 3:16 NIV). Let our gatherings be infused with the love of Christ, creating an atmosphere where His message is richly reflected in our interactions.

Before the winter holiday season warms into spring, remember to welcome its invitation to rest and nurture the relationships that grace our lives. In the quiet moments of reflection and the joyous celebrations with loved ones, may we embrace the gifts of the season — rest, rejuvenation, and deepened connections. Let us be mindful to balance the festivities with moments of serenity, creating a harmonious blend that leaves us rested, nurtured, and loved.

 

Listen to today’s devotion on the player below or wherever you stream podcasts. 

Amnesia + How to Host a Holiday Movie Watching Party for Tonight’s DaySpring Movie, A Miracle in Bethlehem, PA!

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Our resident Christmas movie experts, Mary Carver and Anna E. Rendell share faith-filled devotions inspired by real Hallmark holiday movies, plus hosting tips for gathering this holiday season. . . and since tonight’s the premiere of DaySpring’s new Christmas movie, it’s the perfect night for such a gathering! Tune in to Hallmark Movies & Mysteries tonight at 8/7c for the premiere of A Miracle in Bethlehem, PA, and join some DaySpring friends on Facebook during the movie for a fun party full of trivia, discussion, and prizes! Now read on for a devotion and those hosting tips.

“See what great love the Father has given us that we should be called God’s children — and we are! The reason the world does not know us is that it didn’t know him.”
1 John 3:1 CSB

My 5-year-old and I occasionally play a game where we pretend to swap identities. When one of us doesn’t want to do what we’re supposed to do (something I’m guilty of just as frequently as she is), I’ll say, “OK, how about you be me today and I’ll be you?”

I can go to school; she can go to work.
She can fold the laundry; I can take a nap.
I can be the child; she can be the grown-up.

It’s a fun game that usually snaps either or both of us out of a grumpy mood, mostly because it makes us laugh. We don’t really want to trade places! Neither one of us is interested in a Freaky Friday scenario. She knows she has it good as a mostly carefree kid, just like I know how good it is to be the grown-up in charge (most of the time).

But sometimes our desire to be someone else or forget ourselves altogether isn’t a joke. Sometimes we can get so wrapped up in comparison and envy, so overwhelmed with our circumstances and responsibilities that we desperately wish we could forget our troubles or be someone else for a day.

Conveniently — or magically — this happens quite a bit in holiday movies. Characters switch places, or they receive a head injury that steals their memory. And poof! Just like that, they’re living our most stressed-out, green-with-envy fantasies. The characters get to live someone else’s life in someone else’s house or city or wardrobe! Or they get to be whoever they want to be, free of expectations or labels they normally wear.

Inevitably, the characters who have switched places or pretended to be someone else realize that they miss their real life, their real friends and families, their true personalities, and even their responsibilities. And the ones with amnesia find that with the return of their memory comes a renewed appreciation for everything they have and everything they are.

As nice as it might sound to escape our reality for a bit, we don’t have to bump our heads to experience confidence in who we are. Like many worship bands, the one at my church still plays a lot of Chris Tomlin — particularly “Good, Good Father.” It might not be my favorite song (it’s not), but that doesn’t stop me from being moved every time I hear or sing the lyrics, “I’m loved by you. It’s who I am. (It’s WHO I AM!)”

I am a daughter of the King, loved by the Almighty God. And you are too. You are a child of the King, and you are loved by God. And that? That might be all we know when life is hard or hectic, overwhelming or unexpected, disappointing or devastating. But it’s enough.

When we feel frustrated and wish we could be anyone else, anywhere else — we are still loved by God. No matter who or where we want to be, who we truly are — that doesn’t change. When we wonder if we can possibly take one more thing — one more task, one more expense, or one more piece of bad news — we are loved by God. It’s who we are.

When we are afraid of letting down our loved ones, of facing this complicated season alone, of getting answers to the questions keeping us up at night — we are loved. By God! And He promises to never leave us alone and to give us the strength we need.

We are loved by God. You are loved by God. That is who we are! And no amnesia or greener-grass gazing or Freaky Friday holiday magic can change that.

Oh God, thank You for loving me. I love You, too! Thank You for creating me and placing me in the exact right time and place. Please forgive and remove any discontentment and replace it with gratitude. Please open my eyes to see the blessings You’ve given me in my right-now, real life. Amen.

Tips for Hosting A Holiday Movie Watching Party

WHEN TO HAVE A PARTY
Holiday calendars fill up fast, so start planning early. Here are a few things to keep in mind when picking a date:

  • Decide in advance how many movies you want to show during your party. Showing several must-see movies, one right after another, is a good plan if you want to have an open house, come-and-go event. Screening one or two all-time favorites (or a new premiere) is better if you’d prefer a shorter evening get-together.
  • Schedule your party early in the holiday season before schedules are jam-packed and stress levels are sky-high. Or schedule your party over winter break, when everyone needs an afternoon or evening out (and away from the kids!).
  • Facebook events make inviting people super simple. Or you could lean into the “cheesy movie night” theme and deliver invites attached to cheese crackers or string cheese. Search Pinterest for a movie ticket-shaped invite template.

WHAT TO DO AT THE PARTY
Well, obviously you’re going to watch a cheesy holiday movie! But‥. is that all? As much as we adore holiday TV movies, we realize your party might need a few other activities for guests who have already seen the movies or who aren’t as enamored with predictable or sappy romantic comedies. So with that in mind, here are a few ideas:

  • Wear Christmas pajamas (like a grown-up slumber party!)
  • Color in adult coloring books (DaySpring has several devotional coloring books!)
  • Play holiday movie bingo (how many squares can you cover?)
  • Decorate your own sugar cookies
  • Do a simple craft (hit up Pinterest for great options)
  • Wrap presents or address cards (multitasking for the win!)

WHAT TO EAT AT THE PARTY
No party is complete without snacks! Serve up your favorite Christmas cookies or, better yet, invite everyone to bring some of their own and have a cookie swap during your movie-watching party! You could make up punny snacks based on the theme of your movie, or just go simple and order something in. The purpose of the get-together is to gather with your people, so don’t get stressed about the details!

We hope you’ll tune in to Hallmark Movies & Mysteries tonight at 8/7c for the premiere of A Miracle in Bethlehem, PA, and join the fun on Facebook during the movie for extra fun!

For more devotions like the one above, get Anna and Mary’s ebook, Fake Snow and Real Faith. And be sure to visit their site, HookedonHolidayMovies.com, for podcast episodes, devotions, and a free bundle of fun and festive downloads (including movie guides, recipes, and more!)

 

Listen to today’s devotion below or on your favorite podcast app!

If You’re Sleepless or Struggling, Hope Is on the Way

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For the first time in years, I’ve felt a sense of overwhelm surrounding the holidays. Physical, financial, emotional, you name it, my stress simmers as I’m falling behind with unmet expectations in the whole “making a list and checking it twice” department. What started off as the relinquishing of long-standing family traditions held dear for decades, morphed into disappointment and doubt amidst a tug-of-war between family opinions.

My husband often jokes, “Everyone is entitled to their own wrong opinion,” but why is it that during this most wonderful time of the year, the holidays can bring such a range of unexpected emotions? Gratitude and grief. Longing and loneliness. Even festive fun amidst polarizing fear. We sit in this delicate tension while simultaneously trying to realign our hearts to a Kingdom perspective.

It’s the third evening in a row, I’ve woken in the middle of the night. As I wrestle through the obligatory attempts to toss and turn my way back to sleep, rest eludes me. So I stumble out of bed, pour my coffee, light a candle, and snuggle under my blanket. There’s a semblance of peace and rest found within this ritual, so I continue with my Advent reading.

“And there were shepherds living out in the fields nearby, keeping watch over their flocks at night. An angel of the Lord appeared to them, and the glory of the Lord shone around them, and they were terrified. But the angel said to them, “Do not be afraid. I bring you good news that will cause great joy for all the people. Today in the town of David a Savior has been born to you; he is the Messiah, the Lord. This will be a sign to you: You will find a baby wrapped in cloths and lying in a manger.

Suddenly a great company of the heavenly host appeared with the angel, praising God and saying, ‘Glory to God in the highest heaven, and on earth peace to those on whom his favor rests.’”
Luke 2:8-14 NIV

I’ve read this passage hundreds of times, but the proclamation of our Christ child’s birth hit differently amidst the solitude and silence. With a single candle lit against the coal-black night, I’m sensing a kinship with the shepherds. Alert and keeping watch, I rose to receive the good news while all the others slumbered and missed the announcement.

You know what woke me this time? Not anxiety or anguish, shame or self-doubt. My wee hour vigil marked anticipation and adoration.

Hope is on the way!

“Therefore, with minds that are alert and fully sober, set your hope on the grace to be brought to you when Jesus Christ is revealed at his coming.”
1 Peter 1:13 NIV

Tim Keller reminds us, “Human beings are hope-shaped creatures. The way you live now is completely controlled by what you believe about your future.”

The plethora of emotions swirling right now. The choices we’re forced to face during the holidays. The messiness that comes with family and friends. I assure you that hope is on the way!

Hope is on the way.
For the wounded and worried.

Hope is on the way.
For fractured families and failed friendships.

Hope is on the way.
For physical healing, emotional hurting, and mental anguish.

Hope is on the way.
For those in an extended and oh, so painful, period of waiting.

Hope is on the way.
For those dealing with infertility, unemployment, or a dreaded diagnosis.

Hope is a person. His name is Jesus, our Messiah.

This December I have a new aching as I long for His arrival, don’t you?

With Christmas upon us, our Advent season looks back to the first coming of our Lord, when the Word became flesh and dwelt among us — but it doesn’t end there. We look forward with greater anticipation to His second coming. This is our living hope, our expectation of what is to come. Our future. He is the Alpha and Omega. Beginning and End. Prince of Peace, Immanuel, literally God with us.

My list falls by the wayside. Nothing else needs to get done because He is coming. The only One faithful to keep His promises and that’s all that matters.

It took me a few weeks of restless nights to remind myself of these truths. Maybe you’re still in the sleepless stage and the holidays compound the pressure. I’ve learned a little something from the shepherds and I’d be honored to help keep watch on your behalf if you’re sleepless or struggling. Let me know in the comments because Hope is on the way.

“May the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace in believing, so that by the power of the Holy Spirit you may abound in hope.”
Romans 15:13 NIV

 

Listen to today’s devotion below or wherever you stream podcasts!

The Reason Jesus Knew Joy and How We Can Too

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In some seasons, ‘last year’ feels more like a thousand years ago. Maybe that’s just me? At least for our family, there was a season like that, and we found ourselves in a whole new place in life than where we were the Christmas before. 

That year, my husband’s position on our church staff was abruptly eliminated, and we lost both his job and our decades-long church home in one fell swoop. 

That year, my son broke his leg badly and we journeyed through months of pain, stress, fear, pauses in our routines, and temporary new plans. 

That year, we were no longer in a raging pandemic (but life was a new kind of normal) and all four of my kids were back fully in regular school and activities. 

That year, the weight I gave to some things seemed to shift. My priorities changed. 

My halls weren’t fully decked. The bins of decor sat and waited because of life happening all around them. My kids had projects to do, programs to attend, and performances to plow through. My list was long too — gifts to wrap, cookies to bake, cards to mail, traditions to fulfill. . . 

But we were almost there, and maybe along the way, we forgot that Advent isn’t just a season of passive waiting. Advent is a season of preparation. Our hearts, our homes, our very selves. And now, as we sit nearly on top of Christmas itself, we begin to look both behind and ahead at what we’ve done, what we’ve left undone, and what we’ve yet to come to. 

Every year, just before Christmas, I start to panic a little bit. I see how quickly my favorite season flew by, and I think about how quickly the years have flown by, and then I wonder if I’m doing all that I can to soak it up, and then I eventually melt into a puddle of feelings — joy among the least of them. 

In that difficult year, I wrote something that stuck with me: 

‘What I want to tell you today, mere days before Christmas morning, is that both light and dark, wonderful and hard, joy and difficulty, are okay to feel — maybe especially at Christmas.’ 

I was reminded that feeling not okay, is okay. And it still is.

But now, I feel a little tug towards joy. 

Me. A self-proclaimed Eeyore, pulled toward joy. 

I laugh, but here we are. I find myself lingering and laughing longer with my husband. Sharing stories with my kids about Christmases when they were babies and beaming at the memories. Smiling at every gift I wrap as I picture the recipient opening it. Getting teary at every holiday movie I watch. (The girl gets the promotion! The guy finds the secret gingerbread family recipe in time for the contest! They fall in love! I can’t help myself.). Letting the tears of pain and relief fall as I sit with my family in the pews at a new church. Giggling as I move our elf and Shepherd on the Search each night (unless I forget, and then still giggling but also scrambling before the kids get home from school). 

My tasks are still there, both the holiday extras and the daily grind varieties. But there’s a flicker in my heart not terribly unlike that of the Grinch. Remember that scene, where his heart grows three sizes? I have those Grinch-heart moments every so often, and they feel like a gift. That God would design us so that our hearts could grow to hold more love, more joy, more peace. . . what a gift. 

We are welcome to feel difficulty and sadness at Christmastime. We are also welcome to feel joy. 

We see Jesus feeling the other emotions — anger, sadness, grief, burden. I am convinced though, that Jesus had an incredible and indescribable spirit of joy. People were drawn to Him, constantly and consistently. I must think that His gentleness and His joy were magnetic. He hung out with the fun crowd and had dear friends. He was invited to parties. He and His friends went to weddings together! 

Maybe we need to talk more about the joy of Jesus and dive deep into Scripture and history, but for today it’s enough for me to imagine with certainty: Jesus knew joy because Jesus knew God. 

. . . for the joy of the Lord is your strength, says Nehemiah 8:10. 

We can lean on the strength of this joy. His joy. We don’t have to live at a frenetic pace; we can let God’s peace draw us in. We can suggest joy take a front seat for once, and we can be amazed at the glimmers of hope we feel. We can lean into the joyfulness of the season, even if everything around us is hard. Doing so just might be a gift He’s waiting for us to open. 

Jesus, God with us, offers a spirit of joy that can carry us through long after the holidays. There’s hope. There’s joy. Christmas is coming, friends. May your heart be light. And may you have a very merry Christmas. 

This article by Anna E. Rendell is from the archives and featured in the Everyday Faith Winter Magazine.

Listen to today’s devotion below or wherever you stream podcasts!

Why Grief Is a Sacred Emotion Too

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Do you put pressure on yourself to be joyful all the time during the holiday season? Here’s what I learned from walking through a season of grief and healing…

I find myself scrolling through a Bible app on a sunny Sunday morning, my heart heavy as a stone dropped into a lake. I’m trying to fix this, to find the lightness and buoyancy I think is required of me. I read verses about happiness. Others about contentment. Even more about joy. Yet all of these feel impossible for me to achieve right now.

Instead, I’m wrestling with a deep weariness, a soul-sadness I just can’t shake. I feel guilty about this. My life is good. I am loved. I should be joyful. I hang my head, disappointed in myself, and pray, “God, please help me to be supernaturally joyful.”

What my heart hears in a silent whisper surprises me: Grief is a sacred emotion too.

I think of an email I recently read by counselor Mazi Robinson about gaslighting, a term often used to describe how women are treated in toxic relationships. She says in her experience as a counselor, women sometimes also gaslight themselves.

What is gaslighting? Gaslighting is a term we hear more and more these days. Gaslighting is a manipulative tool in which someone denies or minimizes your experience, assessment, or memory which results in you questioning how you feel or your reality. Gaslighting can be incredibly damaging to our sense of self, self-confidence, and trust in our own gut. Gaslighting destroys emotional safety in relationships.

We gaslight ourselves when we use perspective to invalidate or minimize our feelings or our reality.

Examples:
– I shouldn’t be so upset. There are so many people who have it much worse than I do
– My situation isn’t that bad compared to what other people are walking through.
– At least I don’t have an illness, and I have clothes on my back and food in my house — what’s wrong with me that I’m depressed?

We gaslight ourselves when we invalidate our emotional experience instead of affirming it. We often do this because we’ve been told things like, “You always need to be joyful!” Then when we aren’t, we feel guilty and as if we’re failing. But is this even possible or God’s expectation for us?

Yes, Paul says, “Always be joyful” (1 Thessalonians 5:16 NLT) but he also says, “My heart is filled with bitter sorrow and unending grief” (Romans 9:2 NLT). Jesus is described as being full of joy and as being a man of sorrows. Proverbs 14:13 NASB tells us, “Even in laughter the heart may be in pain, and the end of joy may be grief.”

When we look at Scripture as a whole, we are not told to exclusively feel positive emotions like joy, happiness, and contentment. We are shown that it is healthy and holy for joy and grief to coexist. During my season of loss, I remember telling my counselor I was worried about myself. Maybe I was depressed (I’d experienced depression in the past).

“Holley,” she said, “you need to let yourself grieve.”

If we cannot let ourselves grieve because we gaslight ourselves into feeling only positive emotions then we will not heal from the hurt we’ve experienced.

It is essential, not sinful, for us to feel sad sometimes.
It is necessary, not a lack of faith, for us to mourn what or who we’ve lost.
It is healthy, not harmful, for us to shed tears as we figure out a new normal we never wanted.

Just because the sun goes behind a cloud doesn’t mean it isn’t still there. Just because our joy can’t be felt for a while, doesn’t mean it isn’t still there. We are not in trouble with God for not being able to force ourselves to be happy all the time. We are human and we are healing — this is hard and holy work.

When we feel grief, we don’t need to be pushed; we need to be embraced. We don’t need to be forced to move past it; we need to compassionately learn to sit with ourselves in it. It is okay if we can’t make ourselves feel the way we want to today.

Grief is a sacred emotion too.

If you or someone you love needs a little extra encouragement this holiday season, Holley created a free Hope for the Holidays mini e-book with twenty-one devotions. Click here to receive it via email for free.

 

Listen to today’s devotion below or on your favorite podcast app!

The Promise of Glory

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Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. 2 We have also obtained access through him by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we boast in the hope of the glory of God. 3 And not only that, but we also boast in our afflictions, because we know that affliction produces endurance, 4 endurance produces proven character, and proven character produces hope. 5 This hope will not disappoint us, because God’s love has been poured out in our hearts through the Holy Spirit who was given to us.
Romans 5:1-5 CSB

This time of year, our hearts are set on holiday traditions, family gatherings, and maybe even a special present under the tree. Or perhaps this is a season of grief or loneliness for you. Maybe it feels like there is nothing good to look forward to.

Whether the immediate future feels full of light and promise or heavy with darkness and dread, the truth is, we all have something magnificent to set our hearts and minds on: the promise of God’s glory!

One day, we will be basking in the full presence of God. His peace will wrap around us. His love will overwhelm us. His hope will fill our hearts to overflowing. THIS is the glory of God we get to boast about today!

May you see every circumstance through the lens of His glorious love.

Today marks the third Sunday in the season of Advent, the four weeks leading up to Christmas Day. Join us here at (in)courage each Sunday during these weeks as we learn about the promises of God and count down to Christmas together.

Make the season bright by reflecting on these promises from God. Amidst the hustle and bustle of the season, make time to quiet your heart and hear from His.

The Promise of Joy

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“The joy of the Lord is your strength.”
Nehemiah 8:10 CSB

I became a mom after trying for seven years to conceive, and I was surprised to find the answer to my prayer more difficult than the long wait. During my waiting, God was gracious to speak to me during times of discouragement and frustration. I trusted His voice, His love, and His timing. He gave me joy during the waiting.

I knew God would answer my prayer and continued to wait five more years. I didn’t expect His answer to push, reveal, and grow me like it has.

Hearing our daughter’s heartbeat and sharing God’s miracle with our family and friends was sheer delight. Our daughter’s delivery was altogether another story. After two days of trauma and an emergency surgery to save both our lives, we were thankful for life and the opportunity to go home as a new family of three.

Having to wait for something for so long and trusting we were in God’s hands during all the battles, made our miracle daughter so much more precious to us. We appreciated God’s gift more than if it had come easy. We were thankful for the waiting and the hearts of gratitude God had transformed in us.

Over the next three months — with a difficult recovery, multiple infections, tremendous lack of sleep, and a husband who traveled extensively for his job — all was stripped away and I simply camped out in the throne room of grace.

I felt like I had my sleeping bag a few steps away from Jesus’s feet. I was welcomed to stay put as long as needed. I knew I couldn’t survive if I didn’t. There was no guilt or hurriedness or condemnation for not being stronger. Jesus welcomed me, loved me, and enveloped me with His Spirit, the only thing holding me together.

I cried a lot. Hot tears flowing from pain but also a place of pure joy like I had never experienced. He allowed both suffering and beauty in the deepest part of me to change my vision and transform my spirit, to alter me into the kind of love where others only see Jesus. This kind of love brings holy joy, beyond anything we can conjure up or try to create ourselves.

When I was delirious from cluster feeding my daughter or feeling a complete lack of patience that frightened me, I would think to myself, “The joy of the Lord is your strength” (Nehemiah 8:10 CBS), and His Spirit would remind me of what I needed — joy and strength, in that order.

Like a sweet little envelope exploding with hand-cut heart confetti, I continue to be overjoyed at the blessing God has given me in my daughter. The harder days have gotten easier, but I think back to wonder: what is the joy of the Lord? My heart knew at the time, but my brain hadn’t caught up yet.

“The joy of the Lord is your strength” is a verse found in Nehemiah (8:10). I was surprised that David hadn’t penned it in the Psalms. But it’s written by a guy building a wall, doing backbreaking work to secure his people from the enemy (sounds like motherhood).

The people had rebuilt the walls of Jerusalem and were hungry for the Lord. Ezra had given a powerful teaching and they were motivated to listen. God’s truth revealed to them their true selves and their sin, and they mourned greatly. They couldn’t rely on themselves, but the grace of God was more than enough. That called for joy.

I know it’s hard to have joy. Some days it’s difficult even to be happy, much less thrive with a contented heart, full of peace no matter your circumstances.

True joy can only come from the Lord. It’s of Him. In turn we are strengthened. We can have joy because we have Jesus. Joy is a miracle. Only the Holy Spirit can create it. And just like the great joy that was set before Jesus in the garden of Gethsemane, I am learning there is usually suffering mixed in with the beauty for us to be transformed for the glory of God. Until we allow God to work in all our circumstances, only then can we experience the joy of the Lord.

“Keeping our eyes on Jesus, the source and perfecter of our faith. For the joy that lay before him, he endured the cross, despising the shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God” (Hebrews 12:2).

Let us not grow weary or lose heart. The joy of the Lord truly can give us the strength we need to continue no matter the situation, not only fueling us to continue but allowing us to receive the true joy, peace, and hope our souls so desperately long for.

My prayer for you is that “the God of hope fill you with all joy and peace as you believe so that you may overflow with hope by the power of the Holy Spirit” (Romans 15:13), not despite your circumstances but because of them. To God be the glory in the beauty and the suffering. 

This devotion is by Stephanie Bryant as published in the (in)courage Devotional Bible

Join us here at (in)courage each weekend leading up to Christmas as we share excerpts from the (in)courage Devotional Bible, learn more about the promises of God, and count down to Christmas together. We invite you to take a moment to observe, reflect, and respond:

OBSERVE Who is God? What are you learning about God’s character from His promises?

REFLECT Where is God? How is He moving during this busy season?

RESPOND Pray, confess, and give thanks. How will today’s promise from God make your Christmas richer?

Emmanuel, in the Highs and the Lows

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It’s been said that life is a series of highs and lows, of mountaintops and valleys. And I used to think of these as subsequent concepts. One season feels like a mountaintop with everything going exactly as you want. And then the next feels more like a valley, filled with heartache and disappointment.

I think of the tocodynamometer that measured my contractions during childbirth. We’d watch the flat, steady line last for a few minutes before it would suddenly and sharply peak again, only to eventually settle back down. Then the cycle repeated . . . again and again and again. I picture life much that way, too — a season of pain and hardship followed by a season of joy and peace. Repeat.

But earlier this year, my family went through a season that reminded me that life isn’t so much a series of highs and lows following one after the other. Rather, it’s composed of both mountaintops and valleys, occurring at the same time, running parallel tracks. It is very much possible to be both on the mountaintop and in the valley at the same time.

Our journey began when we unexpectedly found out we were pregnant with our second son. Mountaintop.

But I wasn’t the only one in my family doing bloodwork and getting tests performed. A PET scan indicated that my dad might have cancer, which launched us into intense months of waiting in hospitals, calling doctors, and navigating the complex healthcare system — all while fearing the worst. Valley.

Then, my parents sold their house and decided to move to Raleigh to be near my family and my sister. Mountaintop.

In the process of moving, my parents were called on to help move my grandfather into a memory care facility, as his dementia continued to worsen every day. Valley.

Shortly after that, my little sister got engaged to the love of her life. And, we found out the growth in my dad’s lungs was benign, praise God. Mountaintop, mountaintop.

As I struggled to balance both the joy and the heartache (on top of the hormones — I mean, come on, I was pregnant!), I felt resentful in the moments when hard things compromised my joy and guilty in the moments when I felt joy despite the hard things happening. I wanted to feel and process the highs and the lows, one at a time — not at the same time. But that’s not how life works.

Your circumstances might not look the same as mine, but I imagine you can think of seasons when hard things were happening right along with the good.

Especially during the holiday season, you might find yourself navigating both the highs and the lows. Maybe the hope of Christmas bumps up against the uncertainty of a new year. Maybe celebrating with family is concurrent with grieving those who are no longer here. Maybe your tears of joy mix with tears of pain, maybe your gift-giving is marked by financial stress, maybe your Christmas carols carry notes of sadness. Still, the truth remains: The highs and the lows are woven intimately together into the tapestry of our lives, and we need to make space for both.

The greatest comfort during the holiday season, or any season for that matter, is that we serve an omnipresent God. One who came to earth so He could be Emmanuel, God with us. He is Emmanuel, whether we are high in the heavens or down in the grave, as Psalm 139:7-8 reminds us.

I can never escape from your Spirit!
I can never get away from your presence!
If I go up to heaven, you are there;
if I go down to the grave, you are there.
Psalm 139:7-8 (NLT)

If we let Him, I believe God will allow our time on the mountaintops to give us strength to walk through the valleys. He will use our time in the valleys to give us joy and gratitude on the mountaintops. Both mountaintops and valleys present opportunities to know Him more.

We learn to lean on Him in the valley: “Even when I walk through the darkest valley, I will not be afraid, for you are close beside me” (Psalm 23:4).

We learn to praise Him on the mountaintop: “Praise the Lord! Praise the Lord from the heavens! Praise him from the skies!” (Psalm 148:1).

In both places, we learn to trust that He goes before us and that we are never alone: “Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord will personally go ahead of you. He will be with you; he will neither fail you nor abandon you” (Deuteronomy 31:8).

So, this Christmas season, whether you find yourself on a mountaintop, in the valley, or somewhere in between, take heart. In Christ, we have the power to hold both grief and joy at the same time because He is holding us.

He is not confined by time or place. He is limitless, omnipresent, gracious, and compassionate. He is walking alongside us, holding us, guiding us, protecting us. Indeed, Emmanuel holds all things together. And that includes us.

Listen to today’s devotion on the player below or on your favorite podcast app!

What a Surprising Kindness at Starbucks Taught Me About the Thoughtfulness of God

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Every time I pull up to my local Starbucks, I say a small prayer that my favorite spot by the huge picture window is available. It’s away from the register and pick-up counter and has a perfect view of the beautiful foothills in the distance.

This Starbucks has become my second office. As someone who works from home – which is such a gift! – I can struggle with staying focused. Did I move over the laundry last night? Should I take a walk now or later? Oh, don’t forget to RSVP for the party and buy the gift. Did I put it in my Amazon cart? What’s that smell? Time to take the trash out.

Anyone else?

But when I get away from my kitchen desk, it’s easier for me to stick to my work tasks — especially when I’m seated at the small Starbucks table by the large window.

On an ordinary morning not too long ago, I pulled into the Starbucks parking lot with my quick whispered prayer, “Lord, guide my thoughts and steps today. And I’d love to sit at my favorite seat.”

But before I even got to the door, I could see that my prized spot was occupied. Bummer. I walked in and immediately surveyed the crowded coffee shop. Shucks, no spots.

Just then, a familiar face waved. You know those people whom you recognize at church or the gym or the Little League field because you both frequent the same place at the same time, but you’ve never actually said hi? Well, it was that kind of person who was sitting at my favorite table.

“I was saving this for you!” he said, closing his book and standing up.

“For me?” I asked in surprise.

“Yes. I always see you studying so hard and I didn’t want you to lose your spot.”

Is there anything more delightful than an unexpected kindness?

I thanked the stranger and asked his name. I learned that Martin lives half an hour away and stops to read before heading to work nearby as a nurse. I told him that I’m a writer and the words come easier when I’m drinking coffee and staring out at the mountains (and not distracted at home by my three loud and wonderful sons).

My iced decaf americano with cream and cinnamon tasted even better that morning as I sat in the aftermath of God’s goodness. And here’s what I kept thinking:

It is no small thing to be seen.

Now, maybe some might feel creeped out by a stranger taking note of your favorite Starbucks seat. But nothing about this interaction felt creepy or off to me. Rather, it felt like a very personal reflection of God’s kindness. A reminder that He is mindful of me… and even the simple and silly desire of my heart to sit in a particular seat.

It evoked the same awe David had: “When I look at the night sky and see the work of your fingers — the moon and the stars you set in place — what are mere mortals that you should think about them, human beings that you should care for them?” (Psalm 8:3-4 NLT).

It is wonderful to be noticed, considered, and remembered by other people. But even better is to recognize that the thoughtfulness of another person is a reflection of God’s thoughts toward you. He is aware of your wants and needs. He is devoted to showing you how much He loves you.

“Surely your goodness and unfailing love will pursue me all the days of my life, and I will live in the house of the Lord forever.”
Psalm 23:6 NLT

The next week as I thought again about how God’s simple kindness through Martin made me feel so seen, I felt the Holy Spirit say, Give him your book.

That feels a little much, God. But okay. I grabbed a copy of my book, The Simple Difference, inscribed it to Martin with a few words of encouragement, and tucked the book in my computer backpack for the next time we might cross paths.

A few days later, I strolled into a fairly empty Starbucks (my seat was open, hooray!) and I spotted Martin across the store at his usual table. I set my stuff down, grabbed my wallet, and retrieved the book.

“Good morning, Martin,” I said as I approached his table. “I have something for you.”

“For me? You wrote this? I’ve never met an author before! Did you sign it? I feel like a kid on Christmas!” His joy spilled over to me and I was so glad I hadn’t let my previous hesitation and fear of awkwardness stop me from following the Spirit’s lead.

We chatted for a couple of minutes. Then I went to order my drink. As I pulled out my credit card, I felt movement behind me. Suddenly, there was Martin, holding his phone up to the scanner. He paid for my coffee!

Before I could even thank him, He showed Christina (my favorite barista) my book. “Look what Becky gave me!”

She didn’t know I was a writer, and she responded with such sweet surprise and delight.

“Wait, I actually have something for you too!” I said.

I had nearly forgotten that the Lord also put Christina on my heart! Days ago, I received a magazine with an article I’d written, and I thought it would encourage her. I took the opportunity to also write a quick note of thanks for the way her warm presence brightens so many of my mornings.

I ran to my backpack and returned with the magazine for my green apron-clad friend.

“Wow! You just made my day!” Christina beamed. She came out from behind the counter to give me a hug. And the three of us stood in front of the case of sandwiches and cake pops in a trio of happy gratitude.

Indeed, it is no small thing to be seen.

Friend, take a moment to consider how God has demonstrated His mindfulness of you recently. When have you felt seen? Who might He be prompting you to see? Where can you be a conduit of God’s kindness today?

May we be women who see more of God today and help others know they are seen too.

For more inspiring stories and encouragement to see and spread God’s kindness right where you are, check out Becky’s book, The Simple Difference: How Every Small Kindness Makes a Big Impact. 

 

Listen to today’s devotion below or wherever you stream podcasts.

This Christmas, Let it Slow, Let it Slow, Let it Slow

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For years, after Christmas had drawn to a close, I would sit by the glow of the tree, exhausted from yet another season of running too hard.

I was the queen of the Try-Hard Christmas.

I tried hard to make and keep family traditions.

I tried hard to bake, despite my ability to ruin even a boxed-brownie recipe.

I tried hard to host the best parties, and I tried hard not to hurt anyone’s feelings by leaving them off the list.

I tried hard to find the perfect gifts, and I tried hard to wrap them the perfect way.

But in the post-Christmas glow of the tree, I knew in my bones that I probably tried a little too hard. My best intentions to keep everyone happy, entertained, and well-fed left me wiped out, weary, and worse for wear.

I would vow not to allow myself to get so carried away the following year. But then, I’d forget. Maybe I was hypnotized by my Elf on the Shelf, because by November, I was back at it, in Try Hard mode, sometimes taking everything to the next level. (I annoy even myself.)

Until, one year, I tried a different method.

Instead of trying harder, I tried slower.

I didn’t want to get to the end of the year weary. I didn’t want Christmas to be a blur. That was the same year I had adopted the word “slow” as my Word of the Year. I had begun to adopt a slower-paced life – eating slower meals, taking slower walks, and generally living a slower-paced life.

This slower way of living happened out of necessity. I’d been experiencing stress-related health symptoms that worried me (and my doctor.) My new approach embraced the pace of grace – instead of a race. By the time Christmas came, the Habit of Slow had been well-established, and so, that was the Christmas I stopped hurrying.

That is the kind of Christmas I’m aiming for again this year — a quieter, slower Christmas, where the simple things are embraced.

If you’re a Try-Hard Christmas girl like me, I invite you to embrace a Try-Slow Christmas this year. It’s not too late!

As our motivation, let’s consider the first Christmas. Think of the slow, humble beginnings in which the Prince of Peace entered the world.

Now, I’m not suggesting that the scene was Hallmark-esque. There had to have been chaos. I mean, farm animals were present in the labor-and-delivery room. And yes, there was likely noise, and not just from the livestock. You’re probably familiar with the line in “Away in a Manger” that goes like this: “The little Lord Jesus no crying he makes.” I’m unconvinced. Ask any mom if this lines up with real-life experience with a newborn.

That first Christmas is proof that your holiday season can be both messy and sacred, noisy and serene, slightly uncivilized and delightfully slow.

Your house can be a boisterous, chaotic, evergreen-needles-in-the-carpet house at Christmas, while you still hold within you the peace of the season, just as Mary did. Picture her, sitting in a barn, as she “treasured up all these things, pondering them in her heart” (Luke 2:19 ESV).

You, too, can have the kind of Christmas where you treasure up the best things in your heart.

The kind of Christmas where every person knows they are cherished.

Where peace and joy are contagious.

Where Jesus is the brightest light in the room.

Here are a few soul-keeping habits to try this Christmas, to bring peace amidst the hurry:

+ Spend time each morning from now through Christmas on a few verses from the birth story in Luke. Settle on key words or phrases that you may have never pondered before. Ask questions of the text that you’ve never asked before.

+ Take slow, daily walks in nature, with your eyes up and forward, to absorb God’s natural wonders where you live. Observe the changes that have come slowly around you — and in you.

+ Notice how your soul, like a tree, can be laid bare before God — and be utterly loved. Tell Him how you need His limitless love.

+ Let go of the pressure of making this Christmas special or memorable by recalling the most special, memorable Christmases of your past. Chances are, they had less to do with extravagance and more to do with connection.

+ Remember: you can’t hurry and connect at the same time. Dishes and messes can wait.

+ Light little fires and pretty candles. Sit in the glow.

Try-hard hurry doesn’t have to be your Christmas legacy. Instead, choose this Christmas to let it slow, let it slow, let it slow.

To embrace a slower life, all through the year, check out Jennifer’s book, Growing Slow: Lessons on Un-hurrying Your Heart from an Accidental Farm Girl.

 

Listen to today’s devotion below or wherever you stream podcasts!