Embracing Endings for New Beginnings

Embracing Endings for New Beginnings

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I’ve often found it challenging to bid farewell to the familiar, especially in relationships. I have tended to wait until something terrible happens, providing me with an excuse to escape. Unfortunately, I learned the hard way that remaining in a relationship or community past its appointed season is debilitating.

For example, I chose to remain in a friendship with an ex-boyfriend after we’d ended our relationship. He invited me to attend a formal banquet event. I saw no harm in attending; after all, we were just friends. During the event, he invited me on stage and surprised me with a marriage proposal! I was livid. So as not to embarrass him, I accepted his public proposal. After the event, devastated, dumbfounded, and discouraged, I told him that I could not marry him. It was a long road to recovery that could have been avoided if I had completely let go when we ended our relationship.

You would think I learned my lesson. But no, I still had not learned to embrace endings. Later, I had a dear friend with whom I shared a sister-like bond. Over time, as my singlehood shifted into dating, marriage, and children, she became more bitter about being single. Projecting her frustrations onto me, our friendship warped into her consistently wanting me to mourn with her, as she found every excuse to avoid rejoicing with me. After years of this type of dysfunction, long past its expiration date, our messy friendship ended when I learned she was being disrespectful to my young daughter. 

It took an adult being ugly to my toddler for me to fully understand and embrace endings.

In the tapestry of our lives, seasons change, and chapters come to a close — even good chapters. It’s often difficult to bid farewell to the familiar, especially in relationships. The journey of letting go is a challenging but essential part of the human experience. But I have finally learned to see the beauty of endings in anticipation of the promise new beginnings bring.

“There is a time for everything, and a season for every activity under the heavens: a time to be born and a time to die, a time to plant and a time to uproot, a time to kill and a time to heal, a time to tear down and a time to build, a time to weep and a time to laugh, a time to mourn and a time to dance, a time to scatter stones and a time to gather them, a time to embrace and a time to refrain from embracing, a time to search and a time to give up, a time to keep and a time to throw away, a time to tear and a time to mend, a time to be silent and a time to speak, a time to love and a time to hate, a time for war and a time for peace.”
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 NIV

This passage from Ecclesiastes beautifully captures the essence of life’s cyclical nature. Just as the seasons change, so do the seasons of our lives. Embracing this truth can be challenging, especially when we find ourselves holding onto relationships, a job, a role, a mindset, habits, practices, beliefs, or anything that has been good for us or served a special purpose. 

Endings are not failures; they are opportunities for growth. Just as a tree sheds its leaves in the autumn to make way for new growth in the spring, we too must go through a time of shedding to make room for the new beginnings that await us. 

During a challenging period, the prophet, Isaiah reassures the people of Israel that God is about to do something new in their lives. “Forget the former things; do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it? I am making a way in the wilderness and streams in the wasteland” (Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV).

God encourages us to let go of the past as an indicator of things to come – to look forward to the new things He is doing in our lives. Embracing endings requires trust in His divine plan. Just as a gardener prunes a plant for it to bear more fruit, sometimes we need to prune certain things in our lives to make room for the new blessings that God wants to bestow upon us.

Nevertheless learning to accept and embrace endings has not made it easier to end my season with (in)courage. As I write this, my last (in)story, I am grateful that I no longer need trauma to prompt a release. Thank God! While letting go is painful, I can embrace this ending as a beautiful beginning. I would appreciate your prayers for my ‘new next.’

As you navigate the endings in your life, remember that God is with you, guiding you through the transitions. Release the fear of letting go and step into the hope of a new season.

Endings are not conclusions; they are the prologue to the beautiful story God is unfolding in your life.

Heavenly Father, give us the strength to let go when it is time. Help us to trust in Your plan for our lives, knowing that endings are the gateway to new beginnings. May we find solace in Your presence during times of transition and embrace the opportunities for growth that arise from letting go.

 

Listen to today’s devotion below or wherever you stream podcasts. 

When the Stranger Danger Bunch Shows Up

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I walked through our front door and my husband tentatively inquired, “Well, how did your evening go?”

An astounded grin spread across my face, “Won’t He do it! This was the craziest experience, but “Stranger Danger” night was a total success.”

Yes, you read that right. For the last three months, I’ve lovingly coined this new group of women as the “Stranger Danger Bunch.” On a random Monday night, I swung wide our garage (turned hospitality “barn”) door, and dozens of brave women representing varying social, political, religious, and economic backgrounds showed up at a complete stranger’s cottage in the country (mine).

How does that even happen? My crazy God story started this past November when my minimalist daughter encouraged me to part ways with old furniture. Our local area has a “Buy Nothing” Facebook group where strangers give, share, lend, and ask for what they want. It’s an online gifting movement and it felt wonderful to share my loved items with those looking for something similar. God’s perfect decluttering timing is critical to note since one day earlier or one day later, and I would have missed reading this short online request from a local lady.

“Would someone please teach me to crochet? I am very clumsy, but always wanted to learn…”

I don’t know why I paused. I don’t crochet. I don’t have the desire to crochet, nor time to crochet, but the bravery of a stranger sharing her vulnerable request for in-person help from an online world sparked something deep within me. Not only did I want to meet and hug this woman, but I yearned to be in the front row cheering her on. I’ve found compassion only becomes truly effective when it becomes collective and, in that instant, my dream was to be a crochet expert. But I wasn’t.

Scrolling by her request made the most sense, yet I couldn’t let it go. An ache echoed in her written wish and I wanted to make a difference.

Paul already knew the answer. “Here’s what I want you to do, God helping you: Take your everyday, ordinary life — your sleeping, eating, going-to-work, and walking-around life — and place it before God as an offering. Embracing what God does for you is the best thing you can do for him” (Romans 12:1 MSG).

So what’s my offering in this request? I may not crochet, but I can warmly gather women in community, make connections, provide simple snacks, and be the best cheerleader ever. That’s something every single one of us can do. When we link arms and encourage other women (yes, even strangers), we encounter the Holy Spirit’s powerful force of living on a mission.

I preached to myself the words I penned in Just Open the Door: How One Invitation Can Change a Generation:

“He has called, equipped, and appointed us to do amazing things right where we are — in whatever role we work or serve. Look for those opportunities. Pay attention and seize those moments. At school, at the grocery store, with neighbors, or wherever, you have the opportunity to be the difference in someone’s seemingly ordinary day.”

So I seized the moment because this conviction created action. Passivity wasn’t an option.

“I don’t know how to crochet, but I have a gathering ‘barn’ where we can meet. I’m all about neighboring well and meeting new friends. I’d love to host you if anyone is interested.”

I expected two or three women to respond, but by the end of that day, twenty-eight women expressed interest. Gracious women I’d never met stepped up to teach and within days, that post had over one hundred comments. Women yearned for something more than just crafting, but this creativity served as the offering. Five days later, I opened the door to thirty-one women from ages twelve to eighty-four. Mothers and daughters, a few friend duos, but many came solo, lonely and hungry for connection.

As I made the inaugural welcome to the group, I raised my arms and broke the ice. “I’m so proud of us all. We are so brave for taking this risk. You’re my stranger danger bunch.”

What started as one Facebook request has evolved into a monthly community gathering of women helping and encouraging other women (and new people are joining every month).

I still shake my head in amazement over the life-giving stories taking place behind the scenes. It’s proof positive that the Lord has given us everything we need to walk a road of welcome in our everyday lives. It isn’t about popularity or personality. None of these women knew me. It was a total faith walk and while tempted, I couldn’t allow apathy or doubt to get in the way. We often overthink living on a mission. It’s about starting exactly with how God made you, right where He’s put you, right now because we can be the difference even with something as crazy as a crochet hook. No excuses. He’s up to something on this gravel road of mine and I’m hanging on for the ride.

P.S. If you’re in North Carolina, I’m saving you a seat at the Becoming Cottage. Next month, we’re learning about gardening, followed by painting, and then CPR. I’d love for you to meet this group of strangers turning friends or better yet, start your own Stranger Danger Bunch.

 

Listen to today’s devotion below or on your fave podcast app!

Jesus Is Our Rescuer

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For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but in order that the world might be saved through him.
John 3:17 ESV

My career as a firefighter taught me that when something is on fire, the most important person is the one on the nozzle.

Sure, there are quite a few people involved in the operation, and the one on the nozzle can’t do it alone. A fire crew is like a well-oiled machine. There needs to be someone who unrolls the hose, someone who pumps water from the engine, and even someone ready to bust open a door with an ax.

But despite all that teamwork, I still say the one on the nozzle is the MVF (Most Valuable Firefighter). For the fire to die, there needs to be one person smashing it down with an incredibly powerful jet of water. The one holding the nozzle and directing the water has the power to completely transform a tragedy.

In my experience, it’s the same with Jesus.

There are so many “fires” in our lives. Losing a job. Dealing with chronic pain. A child who seems to be on the wrong path. Divorce. Cancer.

We can’t fight fires like that on our own. And we can’t always count on fighting those fires in community. Community is essential, but we humans are never perfect. Sometimes we let each other down. Sometimes we even betray each other.

Which is why we need Jesus. He’s the only One who will never let us down. I’ve seen Jesus battle fires in my life and the lives of others countless times. I’ve seen Him rescue people that no one else could have rescued. God’s rescue plan is right there in today’s verse! Our world is on fire. Our lives are on fire. And Jesus is the One on the nozzle, ready to smash down the flames. He’s the only One who can do it.

PRAYER
Jesus, help me believe, or at least want to believe, that You really are all I need.

—

We wear ourselves out looking for safety in all the wrong places — work, family, politics, achievement, money, relationships, and more. But when our hopes go up in flames, we discover how much we need a true Rescuer.

In the new devotional Jesus is All We Need: Devotions to Experience the Rescuing Love of God, decorated former firefighter Jason Sautel invites readers on a journey to discover a life-saving love that will never turn to ashes. Through Jason’s personal story, select Scriptures, key points, and prayers, readers can learn to find refuge in the one place they’ll truly be safe – the strong, rescuing arms of God.

We know this book will be a blessing in your life, or the life of someone you love.

Order your copy today . . . and leave a comment below for a chance to WIN a copy*!

Then join Becky Keife this weekend on the (in)courage podcast for a conversation with Jason. His story is powerful and the hope you’ll glean is palpable. Don’t miss it!

 

Listen to today’s article at the player below or wherever you stream podcasts.

*Giveaway open until 11:59 pm on 2/18/24 to US addresses only. Winners will be contacted via email.

When Life Brings Change, Here’s What You Can Trust Is Still True

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I recently sat in front of my computer screen, fingers hovering over the keyboard. I needed to make a decision. Take a risk. Step into new territory. One “yes” is all it would take, yet I held back. I found myself craving the familiar, wanting safety, seeking assurance that I was doing the right thing. Have you ever done the same?

I don’t think we ever fully outgrow the fear that can come with a step of faith or an unexpected challenge. But I do think we can grow in our ability to be brave and move forward anyway.

Change can be hard. Yet everything we’re living today was once new to us. We walked for the first time. Said hello to someone we love for the first time. Showed up to work for the first time. All of those shifts likely came with a bit of fear, perhaps butterflies in our stomachs, questions, and uncertainties.

Of course, life brings harder changes too. Unexpected losses, expectations upended like a glass of red wine on a white tablecloth, promises broken — bullets through a stained-glass window. We’ve survived all of these so far too. We’re still here, breathing, reading these words. We got out of bed today (or at least picked up our phone and looked at the screen).

Sometimes the hardest thing about change is the unknown. Certainty is a warm blanket we wrap ourselves in as we curl up on the couch in front of the fire. But the not-knowing feels colder; it sinks into our toes, whispers that we might not have what it takes to pioneer this winter of our lives.

In those moments, here are a few things I need to tell myself over and over again:

You are fully loved, no matter what you do or do not do.

You are part of a plan that is bigger than you, and it is unfolding even now.

You have a purpose even when things don’t turn out at all like you might expect.

God is good and what I can know of His ways is like one grain of sand on a thousand seashores.

My story isn’t over yet, and I choose to trust the Author even when I don’t know what’s coming.

I don’t always like change — but it is also the door through which so many people I love, so many opportunities I’m grateful for now, and so many of the ways I’ve grown have entered my life.

I always feel nervous about change, but eventually, it becomes my new normal.

What would you add to this list?

I recently met two friends for coffee, and all three of us talked about unexpected shifts in our lives. Some personal. Some professional. All stretching us in uncomfortable ways. I said, “One of the only certainties in life is change.” When I remember this, it helps me resist change less, and instead expand to make space for it. The changes I’ve loved most and the ones I’ve hated have both led to growth. This doesn’t make me like change, but it does give me hope.

I don’t know what change you’re facing. If it’s an exciting one, I’m cheering you on and praying you have the courage to embrace it with all your heart. If it’s a painful one, I feel tender toward you as a human who has suffered too. And I’m praying you are given the comfort you need to sustain you in this season.

Most of all, in all the changes life brings, I hope you know deep in your bones the one thing that remains: You are loved — deeply, always, come what may. That is true forever, that is true today.

Does the change you’re walking through involve something hard in a relationship (friendship, family, work, or any other kind)? Then Holley’s new online course, Heal After You’re Hurt, might be just what you need! Learn more here.

 

Listen to today’s devotion below or on your favorite podcast app!

A Prayer for When You Need Strength

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My health may fail, and my spirit may grow weak,
but God remains the strength of my heart;
he is mine forever.
Psalm 73:26 NLT

Lord, thank You. Thank You that even as our bodies fail and our spirits break, our hearts can thrive because of Your strength. This world will falter and change. But You, Mighty God, remain faithful! You are the same yesterday, today, and always.

Thank You for Your steadfast presence. Thank You, Jesus, for being Immanuel — God with us. Thank you, Holy Spirit, for making Your home in our hearts. As You dwell in us, help us to dwell in You.

Father God, You have chosen us as your forever children. We choose you forever too. Amen.

 

 

Recipe for Secret Ingredient Chili

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We thought it would be fun to share another great recipe from our friend Nancy, who creates the most delicious, beautiful dishes. We are excited to bring some of them here to (in)courage — like this one, perfect for this cold (or should we say chili) season. One silver lining of an ongoing winter? It is indeed chili season, and National Chili Day even falls this month (stash this recipe away for February 22nd!).

Thanks to friend Nancy C. for this delicious and surprising recipe, and the beautiful photos featuring the perfect Mary & Martha serving pieces! On a blustery winter’s night, nothing brings more comfort to the soul than a bowl of chili. Invite friends over for a toppings potluck — have them each bring their favorite toppings: sour cream, shredded cheddar cheese, and chopped green onion, or invite them to bring a side dish or dessert. It’s a perfect way to warm hearts during a cold season!

“Love each other with a warm love that comes from the heart.”
1 Peter 1:22 GW

Friends, scroll down for the recipe and to download a FREE printable recipe card!

Secret Ingredient Chili by Nancy C.

Download the FREE recipe card here!

Prep Time: 20 minutes
Cook Time: 60 minutes
Makes 6 servings.

INGREDIENTS:

  • 1 1/2 lbs. ground beef
  • 1 large onion, chopped
  • 2 (15-oz) cans red kidney beans, rinsed and drained
  • 1 (15-oz) can black beans, rinsed and drained
  • 1 (28-oz) can diced tomatoes, undrained
  • 1 (15-oz) can tomato sauce
  • 3 Tbsp. chili powder
  • 1/2 Tbsp. ground cumin
  • 1 Tbsp. unsweetened  cocoa powder
  • 2 cloves minced garlic
  • Salt and pepper to taste

INSTRUCTIONS:

  1. In a large saucepan, cook the ground beef and chopped onion over medium heat until the beef is no longer pink; drain the fat.
  2. Add the beans, diced tomatoes, tomato sauce, chili powder, cumin, unsweetened cocoa powder, minced garlic, and salt and pepper, if desired.
  3. Reduce heat and simmer, covered, for 1 hour, stirring occasionally.
  4.  Top the chili with any or all of the following: sour cream, shredded cheddar cheese, and chopped green onion.

NOTE: For a spicier chili, use a 28-oz can of diced tomatoes with green chilies instead of regular diced tomatoes.

To get the beautiful and cozy look above, serve the chili in the Grace & Gratitude Deep Dish Baker! Complete the look by serving your toppings in the Grace & Gratitude Dip Bowls. Find these beautiful pieces and more at Mary & Martha by DaySpring.

The Thing You Need to Know About Weight Loss

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Spoiler (before you get the wrong idea): you don’t need to lose weight and God doesn’t love you any more either way.

A few years ago, I slowly lost sixty pounds. I didn’t do anything drastic, just made small, simple, better choices and took daily walks. I tracked my food in a free app on my phone. I worked to close the rings on my Apple watch and to hit 10,000 steps a day. I wish I could say that the catalyst for the changes I was making came from some awakening in my heart. But, friends, they came from a mortified response to being shamed.

I had a doctor’s appointment for something entirely unrelated to weight or even my general health. It was a very specific issue that turned out to be nothing at all. However, the doctor felt it necessary to comment on my weight and said briskly that I should consider losing some of it.

My face burned for days, thinking of hers as she looked at me, a stranger, and commented on my body. She’d offered her suggestion after my diagnosis was complete and I was nearly ready to walk out the door. When I did walk out the door, it was with a blazing face, a pit in my stomach, and a resolution to do whatever needed to be done for that doctor to eat her words. I know, not the best motivator. It didn’t even make sense, as I would never see that doctor again and I could never “show her.” I figured I would know, and that would be enough to give me a smug satisfaction.

So I downloaded the apps, started walking, and lost 60 pounds in about a year and a half. I did everything in a slow, consistent, baby-step kind of way. Healthy, safe, and not extreme. However . . .

I got more comments on my body over those months than ever before in my life. I invited some of those comments by sharing pictures from my walks and a few before/afters on Instagram, and most of them were from well-meaning people in my life, telling me how amazing I looked. But every single time they offered their good-intentioned praises, my stomach churned and my face blazed just like it did in that doctor’s office. I felt that if they were praising my appearance now, I must have looked terrible before. I’m sure that wasn’t what drove their comments, but that’s how it felt. The same feeling of shame that flooded my heart in the doctor’s office returned, and I wanted to hide.

When Adam and Eve became aware of their bodies, they became ashamed too. I understand that impulse. I get their reaction. I get their urge to hide, to cover up, to avoid being seen. I get the shame they had in the awareness of their bodies, because I’ve felt it at my smallest size when all eyes were on me and I’ve felt it at my largest when I don’t quite fit in an airplane seat.

If invited in, shame is all too happy to entirely occupy every inch of space that it’s given.

Shame, for me, is as well-worn as a broken-in, old pair of jeans. It’s easy to slip into and believe, and there’s a kind of familiarity to it that comes right alongside the hurt it brings. There’s something about shame that can even feel comfortable. But we are not built to house shame. We are God’s workmanship, designed for the freedom that Christ’s love can bring.

Freedom from shame and guilt. Freedom from feeling too much and not enough. Freedom from counting calories and crackers. Freedom from embarrassment and pits in our stomachs.

I don’t want my children to see their mom living ashamed. I want them to see her living free.

There’s not enough room in this article for all the words I want to say about this, so please know that I acknowledge much is left unsaid. There’s not enough room to dissect what it means to be healthy, strong, or fit. To talk about how the health industry touts its ideal body type, offers products as the only or optimal solution, and perpetuates shame. To discuss eating disorders, or the studies that prove most weight lost is eventually gained back (hi, it’s me… I gained it all back after having a surprise 4th baby at the height of the pandemic). There just isn’t room for such a massive and nuanced conversation.

What there is room for is to remind you that you were hand-created by a good, loving God who adores you. Full stop. God doesn’t love you more if you’re thin. God doesn’t love you less if you’re in a bigger body. Your pants size does not matter to God, and it doesn’t matter if that size goes up or down or stays the same.

God just loves you — wholly, as you are. The end.

God loved you before you were created.

God loves you deeply and knows you fully.

God made you beautiful.

God made you in His image.

God rejoices over you, sings over you, saves you.

Jesus came to give whole, full living for us in His love.

There’s nothing you can do to earn God’s love. Shame does not disqualify you from being loved. The size of your clothes doesn’t impact God’s love for you. Shake off the shame, friend. Fight it and dwell in God’s overwhelming love.

Listen, there are for sure days where that’s much easier said than done. But on even those days, God’s deep love for us can carry us through the shame, the sadness, the not-enoughness that we feel. Don’t look to the tag on your clothes to tell you what you’re worth. Your size — your weight — is not your worth. Our worth, our value, comes from God . . . and He says we are good.

When have you felt ashamed? How did you transition from that place into the freedom of God’s love?

 

Listen to today’s devotion below or wherever you stream podcasts. 

This Valentine’s Day, Let’s Hold Our Heads High

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The follow-up doctors who treated the dislocation in my knee were both young and quite attractive.

I went to a handful of appointments and, at the end of one of them, I sat in the waiting room and watched the parking lot for my sister who was coming to pick me up.

As time ticked by, I could hear another young woman, a patient, gushing at the checkout window. Apparently, one of the doctors was interested in her and had given his number to her. She went on and on about how cute he was. I, on the other hand, wasn’t gushing at all. This stung. All I received from my doctor was a mere fist bump.

I vented, my voice cracking with emotion, as I told my sister about it on the way home. Not my best memory . . . to this day.

Singleness is near the top of my list of tender aches. Not being in a relationship at twenty-seven is not the life I dreamed for myself. Yes, there have been crushes over the years. But no boyfriends and no fiancés. I’ve dabbled in online dating, but I’ve found that it is not my favorite.

Struggles exist in this season, as every single woman is aware. But, Valentine’s Day — actually, the whole first half of February — is a particularly tough season. Social media is like a pink, red, and white cascade of romance and sweet gestures and dreamy dates. Yet, for us single women, we feel like we’ve been left with a hole in our hearts, asking the same exact question that bubbled to the surface while I sat with teary eyes in the orthopedic waiting room: Why couldn’t it all be for me, too?

Instead of the sweet gestures and having butterflies in our stomachs, we are alone and survive the day without a significant other to call our own. Perhaps we even feel ashamed and embarrassed of this part of our story. We try to focus on giving and receiving the love around us in tangible ways that make the most of the holiday . . . still we’re saddened that we don’t have the affirmation and affection of romantic love.

At this moment, it doesn’t seem like this Valentine’s Day will be any different for me, as my relationship status is the same as it was last year: Single. Even so, I want to make the most of this day by celebrating love, whether it comes from my parents or through organizing a card-making project for imprisoned children in Uganda, as I have done since my teenage years.

As single women, it may feel like there will always be an endless string of Februarys to “get through.” But this year, maybe we can think about our singleness through the lens of these two questions:

  • What if this was the very last Valentine’s Day we spent on our own, or ever?
  • How would we live it out differently?

How might we soak up the moments and opportunities to spread love to those in our lives? How could we spend this day with genuine intention, time, and focus for the relationships we’re already in, romantic or not?

Even if it turns out that we are single next year, and the next year, and the next. Even if we’re single for seasons without end, might we still make the very most of each Valentine’s Day. Because, though we’re single, God is still bestowing His best for us. At all times, we are being given all things — the right things . . . what we need and His highest good.

Even when singleness, and seasons of singleness, are less than ideal, there is a promise worth breathing in and absorbing — a promise that is both a comfort and a guarantee: Our single seasons do not come unaccompanied by God’s unique love.

So, let’s allow our hearts to hope in God’s rich, everlasting love — even though it looks and is different from romantic love. For, His love is better — always has been and always will be. God’s love heals our broken places and satisfies our souls in ways that human love never could.

Being acquainted with such a love can carry us through every season — single or not — with a certain joy and sure safety that is impossible to find anywhere else. This Valentine’s Day, let’s hold our heads high and tend to the tender walls of our hearts with the truth of God’s everlasting love.

We are loved to love — loved to both receive and give God’s lavish love. Even if our Valentine’s Day doesn’t consist of dreamy dates with cute doctors, still we can celebrate the love that surrounds us, even now.

 

Listen to today’s article at the player below or wherever you stream podcasts.

You Have Nothing to Prove

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When my kids were tiny, they loved Thomas the Train and all his friends. I loved watching them click the magnets together to make long, colorful lines of trains, and all the train noises they made as they moved them along the wooden tracks. I could still tell you all of their names. Hiro and Percy were my personal favorites. Those toy trains are still treasured — we keep a bin full of them to hopefully pass on to our kids’ littles someday.

In the television series and books, there’s a label that Sir Topham Hatt, the train conductor, consistently gives to these beloved trains as a measure of their value. He calls Thomas, and those he approves of, “really useful” engines.

I remember reading that description in one of the books and thinking about how good it feels to be useful, while simultaneously feeling like something didn’t sit well about striving for that affirmation. The trains beam when they hear Sir Topham Hatt say they are really useful.

I can picture myself beaming over a similar affirmation. I’m sure I’ve chased after affirmations like that before. No matter how old we are, most of us want to feel the weight of our true value. We want to be assured that we matter. It can be so easy to lose our way and forget that our value and worth aren’t things that can slip away, nor something that we have to prove.

Eventually, I remember having to stop in the middle of reading one of those familiar stories aloud, and tell my son that being useful isn’t our purpose; our measure of usefulness doesn’t increase or decrease our value as image bearers who are loved by God. I wanted to make sure he knew that God is not like Sir Topham Hatt, and honestly, I need the reminder too. I find this message of praising usefulness consistently wrapped around everything in our culture like a security blanket.

It sneaks up on us in our friendships when we find ourselves seeking to be the one who’s most needed. It follows us into motherhood like a phantom of the perfect mom who would never have kids who behave that way or struggle this way. It shows up in our communities and our ministry efforts when we sign up or raise our hand while secretly hoping others will notice how often we give of ourselves in the name of love, instead of from an overflow of being loved.

We all have Sir Topham Hatts in our lives (sometimes it’s us). The characters may change over time, and so might the settings. What’s elevated as most useful and good can change too, and I think that makes it even harder to see the lie woven alongside half-truths. I easily forget that my worth is unchangeable and my value is inherent. My usefulness or lack of doesn’t impact my value as an image bearer.

Everything about Jesus tells us that our worth isn’t dependent on what we do or don’t do, how much we help or fail to, and what we achieve or not. Even in Jesus’ own life, God the Father says He is loved and pleased with Jesus before He begins preaching, telling stories, leading, and healing the sick. “And a voice from heaven said, ‘This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy” (Matthew 3:17).

Being delighted in and loved is the spiritual womb from which Jesus’s ministry is birthed. It’s the intimate place He goes back to again and again throughout His ministry and it’s the place He offers us to begin from and return to as well.

The trains we keep in our bin are full of memories. Watching my kids build and play, make funny train noises and voices, and enjoy themselves was delightful because their joy and mere presence have immeasurable worth. There’s nothing useful about it.

Sister, your joy and mere presence have immeasurable worth too.

You are perfectly loved.

You have inherent value.

You have nothing to prove.

You do not have to be useful; only loved.

 

Listen to today’s article at the player below or wherever you stream podcasts.

You’re Not Failing. You’re Learning.

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My 84-year-old mom recently spent several weeks in the hospital battling an infection. During her stay, she lost a lot of physical strength and had to eventually relearn many daily tasks — tasks that once felt easy and familiar to her. At first, simply walking across the room was a chore.

One day, a nurse was helping my mom with an everyday task that she didn’t have quite enough strength to complete. Naturally, it was disappointing to Mom not to be able to do something that would have been a breeze not long before her hospitalization.

Mom’s words bubbled out in frustration: “I feel like I’m failing.”

Then, without skipping a beat, the nurse responded, “You’re not failing. You’re learning.”

Mom took the words to heart, and by the next week, she was doing the task that she thought she had failed.

As much as the nurse’s words were meant for Mom in that moment, they found a tender place in my soul, too. Here’s why: There have been many times in my life where I’ve said those five words to myself: “I feel like I’m failing.”

I felt like I had failed at friendship when it took me three years in a new community to find my people.

I felt like I had failed as a mom when I wasn’t sure how to parent two teenagers through a pandemic.

I felt like I had failed in my writing career when my stack of rejection letters got so high, I was afraid they might get altitude sickness!

I have felt moments of failure in nearly every area of my life at one point or another: in my health goals, my marriage, and even my life as a Christian.

But when I look back, those weren’t failures at all. They were moments to learn and grow. They were opportunities to find strength I didn’t know I had, and to discover a hope I didn’t think was possible.

Like the nurse told my mom, I wasn’t failing; I was learning. Learning how to be human. How to stand up again after facing adversity. How to look back, from time to time, and see how far I’d come.

Failing says, “Give up and walk away before you make a fool of yourself.”
Learning says, “Give yourself grace. You’re getting stronger every day.”

The voice that accuses you of being a constant failure is the voice of your enemy.
The voice that reminds you that you are a work in progress is the voice of your Savior.

From the time you took your first step on this earth, God has been watching you grow. He has been a witness to every one of your mistakes, missteps, and messes, but instead of calling you a failure, He reminds you that your past made you into the woman you are right now. (And He has loved every single version of you, by the way.)

All along, you were learning, not failing.

I love how Solomon describes this as a kind of falling-then-getting-back-up-again way of living. He writes in Proverbs 24:16: “The godly may trip seven times, but they will get up again” (NLT).

The Message paraphrases the verse like this: “No matter how many times you trip them up, God-loyal people don’t stay down long: Soon they’re up on their feet, while the wicked end up flat on their faces.”

Solomon’s words give us the confidence to know that, with God, setbacks aren’t endings but opportunities to grow stronger. Remember that truth the next time your inner critic calls you a failure.

With God, you can trust God’s plan. To which you may say, well duh, Captain Obvious. But sometimes the obvious answer is the right one. Only God knows what His long-range plan is, and how we’re going to get there on a path that includes those so-called “failures.” Only God knows how the messed-up stuff in our lives is building a strength inside of us that we wouldn’t have built any other way.

There will come a time when you’ll look back and see how you grew in ways you didn’t know were possible. Even if you have to wait all the way until you’re 84 years old to see how brave and strong you were all along, may you sense God whispering this in your heart today: “You’re not failing. You’re learning.”

Jennifer’s book, Growing Slow, helps you set aside those feelings of failure, and see yourself as a human being, loved and tended by God as you grow and learn in Him.

 

P.S. Need even more encouragement to see God everywhere and experience His strength for everything? Then grab a copy of 100 Days of Strength in Any Struggle! This devotional journal features stories from all of your favorite (in)courage writers, plus life-line Scriptures, space to record your own thoughts and prayers, and a way to track how God is personally strengthening you. It releases tomorrow!!

Available on DaySpring, Amazon, or wherever you like to buy books.

 

Listen to today’s devotion below or subscribe to the (in)courage podcast for our daily devos, read just for you.

Pray With Us

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“Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere.”
Ephesians 6:18 NLT

One of our favorite things at (in)courage is making space for prayer. We know prayer is integral to our faith and to building a Christ-centered community. With this in mind, let’s break down Paul’s exhortation in his letter to the Ephesians:

Pray – Talk to God.

in the Spirit  – Acknowledge the presence and power of the Holy Spirit and align your communication with God with His Spirit.

at all times – Pray continually.

and on every occasion. – Let every good and bad occurrence in your life lead you to prayer.

Stay alert – Be watchful and mindful of what’s happening around you and in the lives of others.

and be persistent – Commit to praying and do not give up.

in your payers – Make prayer your personal mission; don’t rely on someone else to do it.

for all believers – Support the body of Christ and be aware of their needs.

everywhere. – Pray for followers of Jesus locally and globally.

As you meditate on Paul’s encouragement, what word stands out to you most? What aspect of prayer do you need to apply in your own life?

Let’s live out this command to “Pray in the Spirit at all times and on every occasion. Stay alert and be persistent in your prayers for all believers everywhere” by praying for one another today.

Leave a comment with your request and then pause to pray for the person ahead of you. If you feel comfortable, share your city, state, or region so we can see how far and wide our prayers are reaching.

 

P.S. Need more encouragement to see God everywhere and experience His strength for everything? Then grab yourself a copy of 100 Days of Strength in Any Struggle! This devotional journal features stories from all of your favorite (in)courage writers, plus life-line Scriptures, space to record your own thoughts and prayers, and a way to track how God is personally strengthening you. It releases in 2 days!!

Available on DaySpring, Amazon, or wherever you like to buy books.

 

I Meet God at Walmart

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I meet God at Walmart.

Like the day I was blocking the cheese aisle, my toddler dangling his feet from the wire basket of my unwieldy cart. I apologized to the elderly woman waiting to pass through. Robed in a trench coat, mouth hidden under a mask, she looked at me and said something like, “Galatians chapter five, verse twenty-two . . . patience. We’ve got to live it out.” Her throat opened a portal from the heavens and in her voice, I heard the rhythms of a place where there is no rush because there is no time. “Amen,” I said as she stepped past, elegant and slow as if she was walking down the aisle towards the doors of some sudden sanctuary. 

God comes to Aldi, too. Lately, my son has been testing the limits of his nascent autonomy. He is fond of saying No . . . his wide, walnut eyes meeting mine in challenge. My husband and I have begun to discuss the shape of discipline — a necessary parental labor I dread. Nevertheless, in the produce section, amidst the carrots and Brussels sprouts, a middle-aged man struck up a conversation with me about — of all things — discipline. “We have to chastise our kids for their good,” he said.  

I replied to the man that I had just been reading about discipline in Proverbs. He then quoted: “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.” Days ago, I’d read that same verse. I tried to quote it with him, but he finished before I could overcome my wonder.

I was stunned. Just that morning, as our son stood whining by the breakfast table, my husband mentioned how we’d need to start giving time-outs . . . or something. Anything to guide our son’s growing, often misguided sense of independence. That morning, I’d told my husband it would be good to ask for advice. And, just like that, God’s kind, present shepherding brought us the truth we needed to hear.

God meets my husband at Walmart, too. Once, my husband popped in for juice and milk while I waited in the parking lot with our son. After an unusually long wait, he finally returned. “I have an incredible story to tell,” he said. 

“I believe it!” I replied. “God works at Walmart.”  

By now, I know those blue vestments sometimes hide incognito angels. My husband shared how he’d been waiting in line, and an associate in a blue apron told him to move to another line. While waiting, he and the man in front of him began to chat. About jazz, about God. My husband noticed the man was holding bandages and other medical items. When the man arrived at the cash register, my husband overheard how his card couldn’t cover everything he needed. The man told the cashier he would put some of the items back, but my husband stepped in to pay the difference. Joyously surprised, the man gave my husband a blessing. 

Later in the car, we talked about the uncanny precision of it all: how before our Walmart trip my husband had picked me up from an event that had ended earlier than anticipated, which allowed us to arrive at Walmart at just the right time. We talked about how my husband was moved to another line for no apparent reason, and how God so loved the man holding an armload of balms — a man seeking to assuage unnamed pains — that He placed a fellow brother there to meet his needs . . . and that God so loved my husband that He would allow him to be, and to receive, a blessing.  

God meets us at Walmart, which is to say, God meets us in our ordinary everydays. He is beautifully and incomprehensibly weaving through our daily lives, appearing in trench coats and masked faces, in Aldi’s fresh produce section, and in Walmart’s interminable lines. In car rides to school and work. In the middle of shoe-shopping or dishwashing or onion-dicing. The divine flashes in a grandeur so subtle we’re likely to miss it.  

And most often I do. Most often, I’m so focused on my drive to work that I miss the violet and clementine tableau of sunrise. Most often, I’m rushing to cram my son’s sneakers on his feet and miss the glory of being near this once-in-a-universe soul birthed from my body. But I still try to be on the lookout. I am trying, by grace, to open my eyes to see the hidden workings of God.

And, oh, there is so much good to see.

When Winter Threatens to Bury You, Chase the Wonder

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We recently drove into Yosemite National Park with friends and entered a surprising Winter Wonderland. In my almost twenty-five years of living in Central California, I have rarely ventured into nearby Yosemite during winter. We typically go in spring when the blooms light up the hills and valleys with rainbow hues, or in summer when the river is robust and trails are ripe for hikers. A trip to see the fall foliage is always worth it for the color show of emerald, gold, and amethyst.

But winter? Winter is not typically my jam.

Winter is cold. The landscape is more stark and barren. Like the woodland creatures, I’m more inclined to hibernate and hunker down at home with my people near a heater. 

I grew up in Chicago where the wind freezes your nose hairs in winter and I attended college in Grand Rapids, which required navigating the snow and icy paths to get to class. I moved to California for the warmth and mild winters the Sunshine State promised.

Yet when we entered the national park, I was filled with a sense of awe at God’s unexpected glory dancing on display before us. The mountains rose majestically around us. The contrast between the steel-gray granite and the bright white snow was stunning. Rows upon rows of trees greeted us with open arms. El Capitan nodded his hello as we rounded the bend, and Half Dome welcomed us with a wink. 

In the Old Testament, after God promised Noah He would never again flood the earth, He said this: “As long as the earth remains, there will be planting and harvest, cold and heat, summer and winter, day and night” (Genesis 8:22 NLT).

The word winter or “ḥōrep̄” in Hebrew often refers to the cold, a time when the harvest is gathered and the land is quiet. The Hebrews divided the calendar year into six parts. Winter was considered half of January, all of February, and half of March. Winter was used in the Bible as a metaphor for the more mature season of life. 

Psalm 74 reminds us that God controls nature and created the seasons:

“You caused the springs and streams to gush forth,
and you dried up rivers that never run dry.
Both day and night belong to you;
you made the starlight and the sun.
You set the boundaries of the earth,
and you made both summer and winter.”
Psalm 74:15-17 NLT

Winter was part of God’s intention for the rhythms on earth and of our bodies. He could have made forever spring or endless summer, but He chose to weave in winter too. Winter may feel like the opposite of harvest. We may feel like winter seasons in our lives are marked by disappointment, uncertainty, and hardship. Things may look withered, bald, even dead during the winter. 

But what if we were to lean in more to see the wonder in winter? What if we embraced the quiet, the darkness, and the cold as opportunities to turn our faces upward toward the sun?

What I discovered in Yosemite National Park is that winter warrants hope.

I think about the winter of grief I endured after my husband’s death. God showed up in that season with His comforting presence.

I think about the winter of rejection in my career when I kept coming up against closed doors. God built up my courage and resilience.

I think about the winter of loneliness when I wondered who my true friends were. God walked with me in the darkness and provided companionship.

Perhaps the most spectacular exhibit of nature I saw that day at the park was Yosemite Falls. I have seen this same waterfall when the water cascaded down with unbridled force and volume. I have also witnessed it during a drought when the water was more like a bathroom faucet leak. I have zig-zagged to the top of the trail to view the falls from the unique perspective above. 

To see it in winter provided a whole different phenomenon. 

The ice splayed out against the rock in a starburst pattern, while water surged through the middle. I gasped a little when I first saw how water and ice co-mingled against the mountainside. This was a visual reminder that in winter there are unexpected ripples that confirm God is still at work. We may feel buried in the snow, but we may just be on the brink of a breakthrough.

As we were piling back into the car after a walk around the park, snow began to fall in a festival of flurries. Our smiles and spirits turned upward. The flakes were full — each one unique and breathtakingly beautiful.

Dorina helps people discover God’s glory in unexpected places through her weekly Glorygram and Instagram.

 

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What Our Ancestry Can and Can’t Tell Us

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Before Christmas, many things I wanted to upgrade or try for the first time went on sale. It takes a strong will to resist a good sale, and I succumbed to purchasing two: upgrading from a yearly subscription to a lifetime membership on an editing software I use, and taking advantage of a special offer on two DNA testing kits. For the latter, my husband and I shipped off sealed containers of (an insane amount of) our saliva and waited.

On Christmas Eve, I received an email that my results were ready. I abandoned all holiday preparations and dove into a genealogy rabbit hole. First, I read the weightier reports: my dad and grandmother both had colorectal cancer, but I don’t have either of the two genetic variants they tested. The tests didn’t detect variants for a host of other conditions either, although they found one associated with age-related macular degeneration and another for a condition characterized by too much iron absorption. The reports said, however, I’m not at increased risk.

I found less serious, quirkier results in the Traits tab, divided into physical features, taste and smell, and weird and wonderful. It confirmed things I already know: there’s a 63% chance I don’t have dimples (I don’t), a 52% chance I have blue eyes (I do), and a 65% chance my ring finger is longer than my index finger (it is). I have higher odds of disliking cilantro (I eat it, but it smells like stinkbugs), am less likely to be able to match a musical pitch (I didn’t need science to confirm this disappointing fact), and am less likely to have thick hair (sad, but true).

Five years ago, I developed an interest in my ancestry and spent hours researching it with help at a genealogy center and later on my own at home. If my results are accurate, I traced my family tree back hundreds of years. I became tangled in its branches, trying to verify relationships with leaders, entertainers, or authors, as if their accomplishments could enhance my own.

I’m not alone in my quest for information about myself and my family. Many of us look for answers about who we are and what makes us tick. We study the results of DNA testing and build ancestry charts. We take online quizzes and interest inventories. We interpret our behavior and personality through the lens of Enneagram numbers or Myers-Briggs types. But tests, even the scientific ones, don’t reveal the complexity of a human being.

According to my DNA, there’s a 72% chance I don’t have a widow’s peak and a 62% chance I don’t have stretch marks, yet I have both. Genetically speaking, I’m more likely to prefer salty, and yet I prefer sweet. These and other unpredictable results comfort me. They remind me I’m a unique individual, not pre-programmed only to look and act in certain ways.

If we let them, what our results say about us can remove our sense of responsibility or box us in, restricting what we attempt to do. (My DNA or personality type is behind my behavior — not my own choices.) Conversely, the Bible expands our possibilities and challenges our thinking by telling us, “I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me” (Philippians 4:13 NKJV). The Holy Spirit within empowers us beyond what we can accomplish on our own.

It’s easy to become distracted by potential connections with people we’ll never know (I’ve done it) and ignore our truest lineage, the miracle at the core of our existences: we’re children of God (1 John 3:1-2 NKJV) and daughters of the King. Jesus calls us His sisters:

“For the one who sanctifies and those who are sanctified all have one Father. That is why Jesus is not ashamed to call them brothers and sisters…”
Hebrews 2:11 CSB

Some of us descend from the earthly high and mighty. Others from beggars and thieves. Many are from a mixture of both. But the legacies and DNA of our ancestors don’t define us. Although we can’t trace our relationship to Him on a family tree or through DNA testing, it’s Jesus Christ, our elder brother, whom we should seek to emulate and whose traits and characteristics we should display in our lives and interactions. Let our hope rest in Him.

 

100 life-line Scriptures you need for any struggle you face. That’s what you’ll find in 100 Days of Strength in Any Struggle. The book is a game-changer! You’ll love the real-life stories of struggle (and hope!) from women just like you, powerful daily verses to anchor your soul to God’s truth, journaling space to process what is speaking to you, and a place to record how God is personally strengthening you!  

Invest in your walk with Jesus and get the daily shift in perspective you need to stay strong in any struggle or storm. Only 5 days left to pre-order, and we want YOU to be one of the first to enjoy this incredible book. Let us know in the comments if you’ve reserved your copy! 

 

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Quieting the Chorus of Your Self-Doubts

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“Ma’am, pull this black sock over your head and grab a red helmet.”

With the noise of speeding go-karts in the background, I grabbed a red helmet and smiled like I wasn’t about to freak out. My oldest invited me to join him and a group of military officer friends at an indoor go-kart track while I was visiting over Christmas break. I pushed the helmet down over the protective head sock while whispering a prayer for my crushed hair. Then, I breathed another prayer: God, I don’t know what I’m doing. Please help me not embarrass myself. Amen.

Once the helmet’s thick padding dampened the noise around me, my sight sharpened. I glanced around. An uncomfortable warm ooze of self-awareness spread throughout my body. I felt very out of place. I was the only middle-aged woman attempting to drive a go-kart that afternoon.

My inner self took this realization as an opportunity to amp up the random anxious thoughts:

Try not to drive like an old carpool mom…

You know they are all going to pass you…

Maybe today wasn’t the best day to wear boots with heels…

When it was time to fold myself into the tiny go-kart, all my self-doubts crowded in with me. I thought about climbing back out and standing on the sidelines. My helmet only amplified my choir of doubts. But I forced myself to stay in my seat.  With tears in my eyes, I made the decision to believe that I could do this, even if I didn’t do it well.

As soon as the go-flag came down, I jammed my foot on the gas. That little go-kart shot off and I held on. The first curve appeared before I was ready for it, but I drove into the bend, narrowly missing the wall in front of me. I broke out in a thin sheen of sweat and took my foot off the gas for a second. I wanted to give up, but quitting wasn’t an option. I took a deep breath and pressed the gas again. Every curve was a learning curve. Throughout the twelve laps, I figured out what to do and not to do. Other go-karts passed me with more speed and more skill, but I kept driving, learning, and gaining confidence as I went along.

The final results… I came in last place. Not just barely last place, but most solidly and firmly in last place. But I did it. I was last, but I won the battle to believe that I could do it. I won the even bigger battle of not beating myself up for failing to do it well.

Too often, it’s our fear of failure or embarrassment that keeps us from stepping out in courage or faith. What would you like to do that you’ve never done before? What’s been stopping you from saying “yes,” whether it’s to something big or small? Perhaps you’re like me and you’re starting to wonder if you’re too old, if you don’t fit in, or if it’s too late. These are a part of that chorus of self-doubt that wants you to believe that it’s best not to put yourself out there.

Here’s what I want you to know today: I believe that God has a great adventure of faith and purpose for your life. That adventure never needs to be perfect. Stepping out in faith doesn’t require perfection. Stepping out in faith IS success. Period. Part of the adventure is that God gives you the grace of each day to keep figuring things out!

I appreciate the words of an ancient prophet, Jeremiah, who witnessed both epic failures and flashes of faith from God’s people. They’d failed to trust God and were struggling in captivity. But, their failures didn’t stop God’s faithfulness to them. Known as the weeping prophet, Jeremiah empathizes with their distress and offers the following reminder of hope to meet them in their hopelessness:

“Great is his faithfulness;
    his mercies begin afresh each morning.”
Lamentations 3:23 NLT

Every day, God gives you a chance to try again. God’s faithfulness isn’t stymied by your fears, flaws, or failures. You can stand up and fall down a thousand times and God is the first voice whispering, “Trust Me. Try again. You can do this.” The brilliance of God is that He can, even when we cannot. His mercy meets you and me at the dawn of each day. Failure is never fatal with God. No matter how many times you’ve doubted yourself or failed, God offers a divine do-over. He promises that as you let His Spirit guide your life, freedom and victory are waiting for you.

Today’s question:

If you weren’t afraid to take a risk and you knew that God had called you to it, what would you do? Tell us about it in the comments and we can pray for you!

Life can be so painfully heavy. But you don’t have to carry it all on your own. Really. There is a God who is ready and willing to carry you! Your part is to simply unclench your firsts, stop grasping for control, and instead surrender all to God. We know this is easier said than done, so let your friends at (in)courage show you how.

Our new book, 100 Days of Strength for Any Struggle will be out in just 6 days! Order your copy now so you can start experiencing more of God’s strength every day.  

 

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God Is With You in Your Grief

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Science says the moon makes Earth’s tides swell. It says the two — earth and moon — are tethered to one another through gravitational force, and all of Earth’s oceans rage when the moon waxes full and strong.

When I stand at my grandfather’s grave for the first time in the two years since his burial, I stand there under a waxing moon and in the swell of my own oceans undulating under the hold of grief’s gravity. There I am, between the trees, standing in the chill of an arctic air mass with no scarf, no hat. I want to move my mouth and make words come from my lips, but I cannot, with my face frozen in New York’s cold, bitter wind. 

A pile of bones I am, shivering and shaking, putting off all I want to say to my grandfather, laid low beneath the ground. Can I really whisper confessions aloud into the wind, telling him how it feels like he, just days ago, slipped his way through the back door of my townhome? It feels like just yesterday he walked up my stairs and sang a song or two to his mesmerized great-grandson.

I want to look long and loving, one last time, into his face; I want to memorize the constellation of freckles on his cheeks and smooth that furrow in his brow. I want to tell him not to worry, that I’m okay, we’re all okay. And then I’d cry somewhere where he wouldn’t see me, so my tears don’t hold him back from earth’s release. 

As long as I live, I will never again touch the hands of my grandfather. I will walk out the rest of my brief time on this earth wanting him and missing him. Needing him but not having him. And, as with all my grief? The many ways in which I carry the weight of lost friends and lost dreams? The way I cradle a fractured faith and that fearful dread of all the other ways the world will take and take. Things fracture, and grief is inevitable. And my heart will always wring out trauma’s tears, cried and spilled out, ever mourning the way life breaks and betrays and borrows without returning that which should belong. 

And you. 

Your life will also thrash with the gravity of grief, its waves rising and falling in and through the seasons. Little losses, and your fear of them, will loom. They will stand unknown and unseen by others. Demanding attention but falling dimly into the background. Sometimes the dreams will fade and bodies will fail. Some days fear will fill as futures fall away, further still. 

And, you know the holidays will hollow holes inoperable into that holding heart of yours. Every cycle of the sun, every Christmas on the calendar, every empty chair at the Easter table, every birthday with no candles to blow. 

But there is this — the truth of the fact that God is with you in your grief, giving space for sorrow, welcoming you as you slowly find your way. He greets you in your grief before going on to glory, to heaven. He waits with you as you grope and groan for words that give language to loss—all those, little and large. He stops and he stoops, lays low, right there with you in the suspension of all things. He blesses you . . . even in your brokenness, even as you beg for kingdom come. For new earth, new world. 

I want to be the one to tell you that this is why your losses — all those large and little — matter. Losses are longings that look like God’s heart. They point to the places in us that ache for what has been lost, and they ache when the world isn’t as it should be, could be. 

We grieve not only in the absence of these lost things but also in the mere presence of pain. I couldn’t tell you to put that away any more than I could tell the moon to sever its tie with Earth. I can, however, bestow a blessing. Words I’ll leave to lead you as you feel grief, fight grief, fear grief:

One day we will all ascend like Christ into heaven — to that place with no pandemics, no pain, no shootings, no sorrows. No tragedies, no tears, no disease, no death. For now, though, let there be heaven on earth. 

Let there be God of heaven over us.
Let there be God of heaven with us.  

Amen. 

—

Your grief isn’t something to get over.

Like paper cuts to the heart, every loss — the loss of friendships, dreams, health, innocence, and everything in between — grieves us more than we think it will, and often more than we let on. But what if it’s time to give language to the loss we’ve lived through? What if it’s time to give voice to the grief we carry?

In her compassionate and deeply personal book, The Matter of Little Losses: Finding Grace to Grieve the Big (and Small) Things, Rachel Marie Kang shines a light on all the things we lose along the way. Through poetry, poignant storytelling, and reflective explorations of art and faith, Rachel guides you to:

  • ponder your loss without judgment
  • remember what was and make meaning of your memories
  • reflect on what is yet to be as you reach for hope.

You don’t have to bury your grief, and you don’t have to pretend you’re over your loss. Let this poetic book be a balm for your brokenness, giving space for sorrow and welcoming you to grieve the things that always mattered — and always will.

Order your copy today . . . and leave a comment below for a chance to WIN a copy*!

Then join Becky Keife this weekend on the (in)courage podcast for a conversation with Rachel. Don’t miss it!

 

Listen to today’s article at the player below or wherever you stream podcasts.

*Giveaway open until 11:59 pm on 2/4/24 to US addresses only. Winners will be contacted via email.

 

P.S. In just 7 days, our new (in)courage book, 100 Days of Strength in Any Struggle, will be available!!

God’s tender love and care are on display in countless ways – but so often we miss it because we’re not paying attention. Be inspired to pay closer attention to God’s fingerprints in your life and the strength He is offering you. TEN devotions in our new book are all about PAYING ATTENTION. We know these stories will delight you, surprise you, and tug on your heartstrings. You are stronger than you think because God is closer than you know. Grab your copy now from DaySpring, Amazon, or wherever books are sold.