Three weeks from today, our calendars will call upon us, ringing with alarms to remind us that Thanksgiving has come . . . that, Thanksgiving is here. I will wake and roll to my bedside, fumble into my house slippers, and drag my two aching feet across the cold floor, until I reach the darkened room where I light my candles, my little corner of the world where I cast all my cares upon the only One who can carry them. I will sit slouched in the same chair that I’ve sat and slouched in for the last three months, and I will ponder what I should pray, asking the holy One how a human like me might hold all the tension of a day like Thanksgiving, a day painted thick with both the pain of the past and all the promise of the present.

I am a mixed woman and in my skin, I carry the stories of diverse descent — I am ever discovering facts about my family history, ever naming the nuanced narratives of Thanksgiving and what it means for my people, and ever juggling nostalgic traditions along with the sorrow that surrounds this holiday’s formation.

I am a seeking woman, ever in search of the truth about Christmas. I love the carols and the greeting cards that carry tidings of comfort, but I hate the promotional Christmas-themed content and commercials that have already inundated our social media and stores. I love the gesture of giving gifts, but not when consumerism comes at the expense of our planet, one of God’s greatest gifts to us.

I am not a grinch; I’m just a girl seeking out ways to honor these holy days.

I am not a scrooge; I’m just a woman wanting to truly see the sacred in this season.

I’m just a believer wishing it was all written out in the Bible, or spelled out in the sand, or whispered loud in the wind. I’m not content with making guesses; I just want God to tell me how to do all of this right. What does God think about Thanksgiving? What does God say about Christmas?

Do our Christmas pageants and homemade pies bring God pleasure? Are we breaking God’s heart when our plastic presents pile up on this here planet? How do we honor holidays that hold histories of harm while making space for how they stir up stories of hope? How do we celebrate with joy when grief feels greater? How do we move forward in festivities when we’ve often lost loved ones along the way? How do we slow down and savor this season though it always seems to slip right through our hands? How do we hold our traditions in tandem with truth? How do we believe that God, our Emmanuel, is near and not bound between the books of the Bible?

I have a love-hate relationship with the holidays, and I bet you do, too. I bet you feel as much jaded as you do joyful. Though we are filled with gratitude for all God has done, we are also filled with grief for the weariness of this world. Though we believe in the miracles, we are also baffled by the mystery. Though we long to celebrate, we also long for certainty and to know if we’re doing any of this right.

Every year about this time, when the trees shake naked and the wind blows cold, I begin my annual oscillation, shifting back and forth between belief and doubt, wonder and fear, asking God to show me how to hold the days ahead. And while this year feels no different, and though I cannot claim to have all the answers, here is what I sense the Spirit saying to me:

The holidays days are simply holy days.

As with any ordinary day, God is the One who makes holy the messy, the mundane, the magical, and the mystery. The only right way to go about the holidays is the same way we go about any other ordinary day — we invite God into our every moment. As with any other ordinary day, we make a humble home for God in the messy, mundane manger of our hearts. In our rising and our falling, in our coming and our going, in our laughing and our weeping, in our celebrating and our seeking, we focus on God, forever.

No matter the tensions you carry about the holidays ahead, may you hear the whisper of God inviting you to see the holy in all of your days.

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Friends, I’d love to hold space for any tensions you may be carrying or facing as we enter the holidays. Comment below and share a little bit about what you’re going through — I’d love to encourage you.

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