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At (in)courage, we empower women to be like Jesus. Our writers share what’s going on in their life and how God’s right in the middle of it. They bring their joys & struggles so that you can feel less alone and be empowered by the hope Jesus gives.

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  1. Grace,

    This so resonated with me today. Sometimes at work I feel like “I wish I could disappear into a void where no one needs me”. I work as ICU clerical & have 28 patients, 14 RNs, CNAs & management that need me for things all the while trying to stock up those rooms. Then come the holidays that get me a bit depressed with all the “family” stuff & the darkness coming so soon in the day.

    My hubby has an even more stressful hospital job. It’s hard not to become depressed or down this time of year. Like you I’ve sent out prayers for us. My pastor’s wife prays for me each Friday & sends me a nice text. I know some friends are praying for us also. That feels so good to know you aren’t alone in this journey.

    Blessings 🙂

  2. Thank you so dearly. I needed this message right now. I’m feeling all alone with no friends and my husband pushing me away facing demons. But I know the Lord God is with me. Your words brought such loving encouragement that gets me know I’m not alone even when it feels like it. God’s timing not my own. Thank you again

    • Oh Grace, my heart goes out to you. Having mothered an infant who fought going to sleep and having struggled with thoughts of suicide that I never shared with anyone because I needed privacy to heal, I understand your pain and exhaustion. I remember thinking “There ain’t no tired like new mama tired.” Having an infant who won’t sleep can be overwhelming. I want to describe my first nativity scene. Instead of being swaddled and lying in the manger, the Christ Child is securely held in the comforting embrace of the Blessed Mother. Your infant’s brain is not developed enough to understand the healthy discipline of a dependable routine. Your baby knows only distress, and needs to be reassured that someone will respond to his? her? needs, just as you needed to know that God sees you, hears you, and responds lovingly to your despair. Please, pick up your child when it cries. You will both be comforted by the physical contact, and sleep will come sooner for both of you. I’m praying that you find peace, rest, and enjoy silent nights.

  3. When those dark days come, and yes, even after all this time, they still come, what keeps me going is a promise I made to my father: Call me if you ever feel that way again. This conversation happened about 20 years after I ended up in the hospital. I shouldn’t have loved, but by the grace of God I did. My earthly father is gone now and I can’t call him anymore but I can call out to my Father in heaven. And when I need to, I pick up the phone and call a friend. I plan on keeping the promise I made. Having those lifelines is so important, especially during the holidays. Thank you for writing from such a vulnerable place.

  4. Oh Grace – many years ago I was in a similar place with a new born who was colicky and both of us didn’t sleep much. Little to no help from husband and no family around. It became a dark, despairing place. It wasn’t just post partum depression, but the illumination of anxiety and depression that hounded me in school and I didn’t know. A very personally challenging time. Thankfully with medication, which continues to this day (late 60s) and prayer, slowly the darkness receded. Thank you for being so brave and vulnerable.

  5. Oh Grace! If only someone could have swooped in and given you respite! But lots of “someones ” did! And the great I Am took care of you. And your babe.

  6. I wish I could disappear sometimes too. In my case it is because people rely on me and sometimes I wonder who do I go to when I need someone? But God allows me to feel a bit of anger and despair and then lightens my mood again so the things that need to get done, get done.

  7. I too have been in this same spot,wanting to disappear. Suicidal thoughts of ways I could do it to look like an accident. The brokenness in my family that is caused by past sin is overwhelming. It’s been hanging over our family like a black cloud for years. My counselor is the only person I can talk to about it. Thank God I have her. Please pray for the brokenness to be healed some day before it’s too late.

    • Praying for you, friend. Please know God hears you and he loves you. He offers us forgiveness and compassion. Praying for his healing and loving touch over you and your family. Our God is greater than all and He will bring you out of darkness and into his marvelous light. Love you ❤️

  8. “And God Himself understands darkness and death. Christ experienced it in His body on the cross, and so our hope in Him is not like a thin silver lining. Instead, it’s like a thick rope thrown down to lift us out of the pit—to take another step and live another day.” Amen! Thank you for sharing, Grace. I too have felt this way in the past and I am so grateful to my sweet Jesus for pulling me out of the darkness, taking away every evil thought, and bringing me into his marvelous light! God bless you, friend ❤️

  9. Grace, my heart goes out to you, I am praying for you and your family, thank you so much for sharing I felt the same way but with God all things is possible.