O Lord, you have examined my heart
and know everything about me.
You know when I sit down or stand up.
You know my thoughts even when I’m far away.
You see me when I travel
and when I rest at home.
You know everything I do.
You know what I am going to say
even before I say it, Lord . . . .
How precious are your thoughts about me, O God.
They cannot be numbered!
I can’t even count them;
they outnumber the grains of sand!
Psalm 139:1-4, 17-18 (NLT)
My degree is in youth and family ministry, and my first job fresh out of college was working with middle and high school students as the director of youth ministries at a large church. As a former camp counselor, I tried to bring those faith experiences into practice in a congregational setting. For instance, we dug a firepit and had bonfires throughout the summer. And it was at one of these bonfires that I shared a favorite devotion I’d used throughout my camp counseling ministry.
I had each student lick their fingertip and swipe it through the dirt under their feet, then told them to count the grains of sand now stuck to their fingertips. Obviously, there was no way they could. Then I asked them to envision a lakeshore. How many grains of sand are there? How about under the lake water? And what about an ocean beach and the grains of sand that make up the ocean floor? The number is unfathomable. And yet Psalm 139 states that God’s thoughts of us outnumber the grains of sand.
From the looks on their faces, I could see that my students’ minds were blown. And I understood their reaction.
When I was their age — and even throughout college and sometimes as an adult — I never felt like anyone’s top friend choice. I never felt truly, fully, wholly known. No friend was finishing my sentences, no friend could seemingly read my mind, no friend wanted to spend every waking hour hanging out or talking on the phone, and no friend could fully understand my feelings. (Note: I realize these are massively high expectations for a school-age or any-age friendship. I blame the copious number of YA novels I read during those years for raising my friendship hopes and dreams.)
As unrealistic as those dreams were, I still have days when it feels like no one really knows me or wants to take the time and energy to get to know who I am. My husband of almost fifteen years is the one who comes closest to knowing me fully. But even with him there are feelings or reactions I need to explain, parts of my personality that surprise even me, and pieces of me that fall apart with little advance notice.
So it’s mind-blowing to realize that the Creator of the universe thinks of us nonstop, knows every single intricate detail about us, and yet adores us.
Being known so fully sounds enticing and also a little terrifying. I mean, fully known means all the way. Completely. Totally. Every single part. There’s a good reason that no person can fully know someone else: it’s overwhelming. God is the only one who can know us completely, and thank goodness. He doesn’t just see the best, prettiest, and most presentable portions of our selves. God also sees every deep, dark, ugly, secret part, and still He chooses to love us. He sees it all, knows it all, and loves us completely anyway.
Psalm 139 contains so many treasures that can bring calm and joy to our hearts. Because of the truths it lists, we can be empowered to rest in being known. We are knitted together by the One who created the original pattern, the One who chooses us again and again, the One who loves us as we are. We are examined and still adored. What a gift!
Lord, You have searched me and You know me, and still You love me. Thank You for an indescribable love that embraces all of me as I am. Even when I feel unknown by others, help me to remember that Your knowledge of me is a comfort. May I spend my days living into the strength You offer in being known. Amen.
Who comes the closest to fully knowing you? How do the truths in Psalm 139 make you feel?
This article is an excerpt from Empowered: More of Him for All of You.
I was meditating on the vastness of the love that sent Jesus to the cross for me & then I read your post. The exercise in counting grains of sand is brilliant & expanded my meditation! Wow wow wow! Thank you so much for sharing, Anna. Blessings & “Happy” Good Friday, Sunday’s coming y’all!!!
So glad it met your heart today, Ruth!
Yikes! That’s so amazing.
It really is both yikes and amazing, right?!
Your devotional ministers to me this morning because He know the circumstances at work – that I don’t know yet because I am on medical leave….and yet He loves me! I have to rest in that in spite of future repercussions.
He does, Cathy. He knows and bigger yet, He cares. Sending love and peace to you today.
Dear Anna, I feel as you do. No human really knows or connects with me on a deep level. My hubby comes closest for me, too. Not a bad thing really. It means that, next to God, our husbands are our best friends. That can work.
True Irene! And I am so grateful.
In it together, ladies!
That God knows me, all of me, can be a bit frightening in the sense that he knows all I hate to admit even to myself. Yet it’s freeing to know he loves deeply enough to know what I need to admit are my sins and seek his forgiveness and love.
It’s a lot to take in, isn’t it? Such grace and wonder in His big love.
God is the only one who fully knows me. I am despised by the world. But unlike Job I have the hope that someday my Father will take me home to heaven where I will never be in emotional pain ever again.
Surprisingly enough- every time I felt that way (and sometimes still do!) I’ve seen that I was half wrong. Half of folks will hate you. Half of folks will love ya. My challenge is focusing on the half that likes me and ignoring the half that doesn’t- and I usually am able to feel better by doing that and focusing on me… praying and focusing on what I need to feel and how i Can feel that without any humans around. U r right – it’s only God that does that – and living in that truth is super hard. In it together friend!
You’re a 4, right? Enneagram 4? Me too and I loved your truths written in this- so hard to grasp and wholly accept an all encompassing never ending love like that for lil’ ole me. Thank you for writing this!
Anna thank you for today reading and sharing your heart. What you said is so true. I am Married to a beautiful man 29years in June this year. He used tell me that there loss. I have two good friends who live 86 miles away from me. I hardly ever see them. One friend who lives 8 miles away from me. I see her not that often. But when we do meet up. We have the best of friendship. She is also saved liked my friends that live 86 miles away. But in between those times. I don’t see my friend that lives 8 miles away from me that often. It could be 3 or 4 months even more before we meet up. It is she is so busy. I have felt so alone in the past. I know my Husband is so good to me. But I used to feel I need female company of a friend as well. Just to chat about girly things. I used to say to myself. Then that would get me down. Why don’t I have more friends I say. Why does no one wants to know me and be my friend. I then used to cry. As I think why me. My Husband used to say. Dawn it there loss. Maybe God doesn’t want you have any more friends. I think to myself. But my Salvation Army officer. Said Dawn don’t think thoughts like that. Think why don’t I have more friends. You are a beautiful Daughter of the king of kings Jesus. He is the best friend you could have. He knows all about you. If people don’t want to be your friend. Don’t let it stop you being the beautiful person God made you to be. Just never stop being yourself. Another thing that help me get over this. Was my friend that lives 8 miles away from me that I don’t see that often. Said to me. Even if we don’t see either that often. I never stop being your friend. As I have learning disability. I see and do things other people wouldn’t do. I don’t know I do them. I find things hard. I have to have things explained to me more. That friend that live 8 miles away from me. Said Dawn no matter what the world says you have. God see you as perfect. That spoke to me. She was right. I am perfect in God’s eyes. No matter what the world’s says. That stopped me letting it annoy me I don’t have at least one more friend. That I could see more often. I looked at myself said. Dawn God loves you. Know Jesus see all the good in me. Even if no one else does. That has helped me alot. I got now it doesn’t annoy me. I Empowered by God. I live my life for him. That all that matters to me. Thank you again for this excellent reading. Love it. Love you all incourage. Keeping you in prayer. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xx
Happy Easter Everyone, and may God continue to reveal spiritual things to you on your Christian Journey.
I have enjoyed reading this message today. I am sometimes concerned about how others perceive me but as I mature, I understand that it doesn’t matter what others think of me but what matters is that God knows me fully and loves me completely with His unfailing love.
He loves us to set an example for us to aim higher in our love walk with others. Certainly, we can’t know another person’s past, present and future so we have to love by Faith. It’s God command for us to love one another, that way people will know that we are Believers and even Disciples of Christ.
I can only be true to myself and know that my relationship with God through Jesus and the Holy Spirit will take all my life. I will forever be learning and growing closer to my Lord and Savior.
God is crafting us into the character of Jesus Christ. Sometimes we will not be comfortable but on the Potter’s Wheel of Transformation.
Take one day at a time and pray for wisdom and guidance. When you fall down, get back up and keep trying.
Brenda
Your Sister in Christ
Anna,
Happy Good Friday–take heart Sunday’s coming!! I find it amazing that the God of the universe the one who created it all loves & constantly thinks of me & my well being. Shoot He even knows when we are going to “mess up” or blow it. He understands our frailty for He was fully human. All this is mind blowing. I have a saying “if you don’t like or care for me talk to God for He is the one who made me this way”. Thank you for a great thought provoking post! Praying everyone has a great Easter/Resurrection Sunday!!
Blessings 🙂