For years, I struggled with feeling abandoned, rejected, and unworthy. It was my parents’ constant neglect and ultimate abandonment that left a mark on me as a child. I have fought hard, with the help of prayer and therapy, to find healing from it all. 

The thought that I was never wanted has been my biggest struggle. I felt like my birth was an inconvenience to two individuals who didn’t want me and were now faced with the added burden of raising me. I often wondered explicitly about my mother’s thoughts and emotions around her pregnancy with me and my birth. She was just a teenager, and I couldn’t help but wonder if there was any part of her that wanted me or if I was the worst thing to happen to her. 

A few months ago, during a visit with my mother, she shared a story that touched, inspired, and surprised me. 

(Note: My relationship with my mom is layered and complex. There have been seasons where we didn’t communicate at all — either because of her choosing or mine. But I’ve decided that, with boundaries in place, love wins. I want to love my mother well now despite the heartache and grief in our past.).  

So as we sat across from each other at her beautifully decorated dining room table enjoying a soda, without any prompting, she opened up about her struggles with miscarriages and her strong desire to have a child, specifically a daughter. Against her doctor’s advice, she was determined to make her dream a reality. She shared that many years ago, during a Wednesday night women’s prayer meeting back in rural Guatemala, she was prayed for by another woman who stood in faith with her for a child. 

That night, my mother received a prophetic word promising her a daughter with many plans and purposes for her life. My mother shared that it was the best night of her young life. A promise, a blessing. 

A few weeks later, she confirmed that she was indeed pregnant. Months later, I arrived. A daughter. 

As she shared her story with tears in her eyes, she looked at me and said, “Ligia, you were prayed for, believed for, and wanted.” Those words echoed in my mind for weeks. 

I was prayed for, believed for, and wanted. I was a promise kept.

In the weeks following this healing moment, the Lord brought me to some life-changing realizations. The Lord helped me understand that I was not only wanted by my mother but also by the Creator Himself. Before I even existed, I was in His plans, and He had a specific purpose for my life (Ephesians 1:11-12).

I also realized that the devil had used my mother’s mistakes to label me with a false identity — one that I accepted because I failed to recognize that I am not defined by my experiences or others’ decisions towards me. Instead, I am defined by who the Lord says I am: a child of God, His daughter (John 1:12-13).

Lastly, I came to understand that even though my abandonment as a child was heartbreaking to God, it did not catch Him off guard. Our God is so intentional that He even knows the number of hairs on my head (Luke 12:7) and has collected all my tears in His bottle (Psalm 56:8). He is also sovereign and, even though He has the power to spare me from pain, He chose instead to step into my pain with me and through it gifted me a story that speaks to His salvation, healing, and redemption. 

We will likely encounter things we may never fully understand or find answers to. Pain and heartbreak can be so intense and profound that, at times, we feel like we can’t move forward. We may even feel like the world would be better off without us. I have been in that place, my friend, and I understand what you are going through. 

However, I can also confidently proclaim that Jesus is greater than all of it. 

The Creator of the universe wants you. He has plans and purposes for your life and wants to heal your pain. Please remember that your past does not define you, nor do your mistakes and failures or the mistakes and failures of others. You were bought at a price and are loved, seen, and heard by Jesus. 

You, too, are a promise given and a promise kept.

Listen to today’s devotion below or wherever you stream podcasts.

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