It was a great day, until it wasn’t.

The house was quiet. The toddler was compliant. A friend had stopped by to deliver a bouquet of beautiful flowers and gluten-free macarons, all in celebration of my book release.

But all the calmness of my day went away the moment I fell down the stairs — the moment I slipped and landed hard on the middle of my back, the impact sending a shock through my spine.

I’m no stranger to back pain, and I’ve had my fair share of accidents and injuries. So, believe me when I tell you I knew exactly how bad this fall was. In an instant, I imagined how this scenario would pan out. First, the headaches would come. Then, my muscles would tighten and pull. Then, of course, my neck and back would be riddled with pain.

I knew I’d need to see a chiropractor, but I cringed at the very thought because chiropractors cost money — money that I didn’t have in this current season. So, there I was, my body tensing up and taking on pain. Meanwhile, deep down inside, I opened myself to a tornado of fears in my mind and a tsunami of tears in my heart.

Within the next few days, I made some calls — but, of course, I got the runaround. We don’t accept your insurance. You only have five chiropractic care visits. You need this kind of plan. You need this kind of referral. I finally ended up going to my primary care doctor. I told her I’d fallen and needed to see a chiropractor. She asked me if I had any bruises. Did I hit my head? No broken bones?

Her demeanor and tone told me exactly what I feared would happen. That, judging from the outside, it seemed I was fine. I took a deep breath and told her about my past pains and my health history. I told her I knew my body and knew what I needed . . . and if she could please refer me to a chiropractor.

“I’ve never done this before,” she said. “But . . . I’ll try to send a referral in.”

Days later, I found myself sitting in the waiting room at a chiropractor’s office. While I waited to be called back, I entertained my tornado of fears. I imagined the bills piling up as I struggled to afford a treatment plan that could cost me thousands of dollars. (True story. This happened not too long ago — and I’m still paying down those medical debts).

But then, I saw something.

From the corner of my eye, I caught the light passing through the glass table in front of me. The light formed a rainbow on the floor and, as it danced about, it drew my eyes to see a Bible on the table.

In an instant, my fears were stilled and I felt peace as I took in the reminder that God is God and God is good, even here — in the middle of this doctor’s office where I worried about my back and my bills.

Later, when the woman in the office opened up my case, she told me the suggested treatment plan and that the thirty (yes, thirty) suggested office visits would ALL be covered by insurance.

My jaw dropped. Tears welled up in my eyes. “You don’t understand,” I said through shock and tears. And she didn’t. She didn’t know that just days earlier I’d been told my insurance wouldn’t cover any of this. She didn’t know about my health history and my high co-pays, having to dish out money for expensive specialists and food specific to my dietary needs.

She didn’t know about my work situation, financial situation, or health situation. She didn’t know about the one thousand burdens stapled to my back. She couldn’t possibly have known how badly I needed the reminder that independence and self-sufficiency and doing things in the name of strength and strategy can only take you so far, can only take care of you for so long.

She didn’t know I needed the reminder that I needed Jesus — that I am His beloved and I am covered by His blood. Right then and there, I needed the reminder that Jesus sees and saves me. He sees the impossible bills, the needs and fears that keep me up at night. He sees my sin of self-sufficiency and all the ways I try to heal and save myself.

Beloved, when will we ever not need to be reminded that our only confidence in life is Christ? When will we ever not need the reminder that Christ cares for us? Deeply, daily, we always need the reminder that our hope and help come from Christ alone.

• Jesus cares about saving our souls and He cares about soothing our sorrows.
• Jesus cares about forgiving our sins and He cares about making our daily provisions.

By the blood of Christ, we are covered, taken under the shield and shelter of our great God — the forgiver of all sins and the giver of all gifts.

Beloved — I’d love to hold space for whatever it is you may be going through right now. Comment below and share where in your life you need (or see) the provision, grace, and covering of Jesus. I would love to encourage you!

 

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