Between social media, society, the workplace, and even family, it’s all too easy for us to begin shaping our identity around who we think others want us to be. We may sabotage our actual needs, convictions, and aspirations, or hide parts of ourselves in hesitation of whether or not others will approve of us.
When was the last time you paused and thought about what part of you is aligned with who God created you to be, and what narratives might have been constructed by the expectation of your surroundings?
Narratives, from a psychological perspective, are the stories that we live out every day, the core beliefs that shape our self-identity. They help us understand who we are, where we come from, and where we’re going. We take on narratives about what it means to be a good mom. Narratives about what it means to be successful and significant. Narratives about how much our voice matters and what we’re capable of doing. Narratives about our worth and value.
For example, we may have bought into the cultural narrative that life is all about working and hustling and we end up running ourselves into the ground without having any outside life or meaningful relationships. Maybe we saw a parent operate this way and this example became our framework for how life should be lived. We may have assumed the narrative that we’re unlovable or easy to leave because of heartbreak or abandonment from our past, which now creates anxiety in relationships. Maybe there’s a passion or dream we feel called to pursue, but we’re living under the narrative that someone like us isn’t capable of such things, so we succumb to doubt and limiting beliefs. A modern narrative is the idea that you’re as significant as the number of social media followers you have, how many likes you get, or the size of a platform you have online.
But what if you were able to pause long enough to break away from these outer voices and pressures, to reconnect with yourself and God, to start getting clear about what is truly aligned with your makeup, your personality, your passions, your true self, and ultimately, God’s narrative for you? When was the last time you really thought about what played a role in creating your narrative, and how it has shaped the way you live today?
Why is this important to talk about? We have to understand that we weren’t born as a blank slate. We were born into narratives that were already at play in society, in our families, and our culture. If we don’t recognize those narratives, they’ll impact our lives and we won’t even realize that we’re living in a story created by someone else. The therapeutic work of breaking the cycle of harmful beliefs or choices in our own family, culture, and world begins with awareness of the stories you were assimilated into, why they exist, and what it would look like to participate in an alternative storyline for yourself.
Because to break unhealthy cycles, a new story must be lived out.
We can reframe a new narrative to create a new reality that we can then pass down, healing not only ourselves but the cycle of those walking with us and those who come up behind us. Here’s how:
1. God’s Narrative for You.
We can see down to our fingerprints that we are uniquely designed. To our current knowledge, no human fingerprint is the same. Even identical twins don’t have the same fingerprints! We are a unique combination of our genes, our biology, our experiences, our personality, our physical features, etc. In Isaiah 64:8, we’re reminded that God is the potter and we are the clay, intentionally formed by His hands in a specific way. Ephesians 2:10 defines a universal truth about our identity and that we were ultimately God’s handiwork created for good works. What is God’s narrative about your true nature? That you are loved, purposed, redeemed, called. Anything we tell ourselves that doesn’t align with who God says we are is a false narrative.
Reflect: What are some false narratives you’ve assumed about yourself versus what God’s narrative is for you?
2. Signs of Your True Self.
I truly believe that God gives us indicators of our identity that are embodied and even visceral — you can feel it. I like to call these markers of grace. When you’re graced for something, it’s out of your doing and out of your control. It’s the way you’re wired and a natural part of how God made you. The things you naturally get excited about, the things you’re passionate about and that make you feel alive and fulfilled aren’t an accident. Pay attention to these moments; they point you toward your authentic makeup and the way you’re wired. This is God’s grace in your life.
Reflect: What are some things you’ve noticed that make you feel alive and fulfilled?
3. Live out a New Story.
Reflect on what a meaningful life actually looks like to you, even if it looks different than others. What would it look like to live out a narrative that’s aligned with what works with who you are and how you’re wired? This is one reason why Sabbath rest is so important. It gives us the space and time to pause all movement so we can think intentionally about our direction in life.
Reflect: What does it look like to start living out a new narrative that’s aligned with how you’re made?
This article is written by Brittney Moses, author of Known: An Inspirational Journal for Self-Discovery.
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There are plenty of books and journals out there about “finding yourself” and “discovering who you really are.” But few of them point to the truth of Who made us and what He says about us. In Known: An Inspirational Journal for Self-Discovery, author Brittney Moses offers you the chance to discover your true identity from a Christ-centered point of view. It’s so easy to get caught up in codependency or placing value on roles in life. But when everything else fades away, you don’t have to feel lost or get stuck in disillusionment.
As in her devotion above, Brittney guides Known journalers to grace-filled truth, inspiring them with prompts and helping them uncover their God-given uniqueness along the way.
Order your copy today . . . and leave a comment below for a chance to WIN one of 5 copies*!
Then join Becky Keife for a conversation with Brittney this weekend on the (in)courage podcast. Don’t miss it!
Madeline says
This certainly gives me a lot to think about and necessitates a second cup of coffee! The idea of “markers of grace” caught my attention. I feel as though I have been going through the motions of late. It is time, indeed, to take pause and think about what it is that makes me feel alive and fulfilled. I think in the day to day expectations I have set for myself, some unreasonable, I forget what it is that does that.
Rachel Collier says
So Powerful! {& perfect timing} Clinging to your words …& to His Word through you. Thank You so very much!
Janice Simpson says
Timely devotion for me. Looking forward to reading the book. ❤️
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
Love today’s post. It is so true God is potter we are the clay. If we let God mold us we can be the most beautiful pots for God that this world full on saved people want. As we have to let God shape us into those lovely pots he wants us to be by doing what he asks us to do for him and living as his word says. Not living as this world lives. We might live in this world we that are saved but we have to remember we are not of it. We are of God kingdom. We want to live as God would want us to live and let him shape our earthly bodies into the beautiful saved people he wants us to be that live for him. That this unsaved world see in us. Then when they ask what is different about us we can tell them. God was the potter we where the clay. He shaped us into the beautiful pots he wanted us to be for him. Through us reading his word and prayer. Letting his Holy Spirit speak to us as well. Telling us how to live for him in this world. That is how we came to be the beautiful pots we are for God. To get to be that you have to ask Jesus to be your Saviour. No better life could you live. I say Amen to that. Love today’s reading. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xx
Ruth Mills says
The narratives of the world can’t agree or even specifically define what is a woman. May we be wise and seek out the ONLY source that doesn’t change or disagree within itself of who we are. May the words of The Creator be the only ones we listen to & repeat to ourselves & to each other. You are loved. You are a treasure. You are fearfully & wonderfully made!
Charissa Olson says
Thanks so much for this excellent piece of writing. My husband and I just celebrated our 47th wedding anniversary and by God’s grace, I will turn 70 in November. My mom died right before she turned 70, so this year is one of lots of self -reflection and prayer.
I do not want to reinhabit the past, but also need daily courage to go forward with God. Your words about aligning ourselves with God’s narrative in His Word about us is spot on! Your questions will be part of my prayer life. Thanks again!
Lori says
All of this is something I need to remember! Such good words and inspiration!
Kayleen Fuller says
Excellent message. I’d love to learn more
Judyc says
Amen! This gave me plenty to reflect on, and to think about. I need to seek more to be who God wants me to be than who others or even myself want me to be.
Brenda M. Russell says
A new narrative, that’s something I haven’t thought about for myself. I have entertained the thought for others in my family and life. I hope I am not being selfish or prideful because I didn’t include myself as a possible new narrative.
I am not perfect at all ! My life is a good life. It’s good because I am a child of God.
My prayer is that I consider myself and just myself and ask God to show me His possibilities for my life at this season of my life.
I really dreamed of easy days after my girls grew up, graduated from college and landed in a soft and beautiful meadow of jobs. Smile.
Life is unpredictable and people are sometimes unpredictable. It’s best to place your trust in God and not mankind.
God bless those parents who tried to live well before their children and loved them well. Now you don’t get to reap your chosen rewards because our children are gifts to us from God. God reaps from their lives.
I love you all in Christ.
Brenda
Sandra says
So grateful to read this message this morning. Thank you.
Kellie Johnson says
Great and timely message for me this morning. Lots to ponder for women of ANY age or season of life.
-Kellie
Linda says
Good morning . What a beautiful post, Britany. Self discovery – after years of being Mom which I believe is the greatest blessing, you find one day your children are grown and young adults and while they still need you it’s not quite as much as just a few years ago. After 33 years devoted to the same company and getting weary from the long hours . I find myself in an interesting season of life . During the pandemic I was put on furlough a few months and started to discover a different side of me. I grew closer to God , starting writing , and “thought “ about my own business .
It’s easy to lose track , doubt , put aside as you get caught up in the business of work and life. And it’s hard to stop and think about yourself , what do I do with myself , who do I really want to be , is there something more .
I keep feeling inside a deep calling to God , to write , and to bake for him . My young adult children and I are away for a few days here in the lovely mountains of Tennessee taking time to be together , to breathe, to rest in Gods peace. Yesterday I read the post about “a glimpse of heaven” and now this today “embracing your true self”, wow when God speaks to you He really does . Thank you for this additional encouragement .
God bless,
Linda
Karen says
I recently retired Because I felt called to do the best job I have ever done. That job is caring for my grandson who was born with birth defects. It has been the best job I have ever had!
I also believe this new chapter of my life gives me a clean slate to evaluate my faith journey and help me understand more about myself And who God has called me to be
Christina Vingerud says
I’m currently working with a professional to help break away from the false narratives I’ve been following or listening! Having support and encouragement first thing in the morning to keep me on the path to who I truly am, is so huge! Thank you!!
Julie says
I loved what you said about finding your true self, and how doing that is part of God’s grace! That really resonated with me!
Jane says
Thank you for your guiding words. I am in a transition point in my life, and wondering who I am, and what God would like me to do next. I am having trouble journaling and talking with God, so your book might be what I need. Thank you. God bless.
Kerry says
After years and years of being who i thought I needed to be or what others thought I should be, I looked in the mirror one day and didn’t know who the woman staring back at me was. Its a daily endeavor to begin again, so thank you for these encouraging words.
Rhonda Smith says
What a great message! Reconnect with God and what HIS purpose is for my life.
Pam says
This is what I am trying to work on again with my counselor.I know this…..but…..somehow have not lived it ALLLLLLLLLLLLL these years.
Jeanne Zultowski says
For years I had lived with and believed other people’s observations about me without taking the time to ask myself, “is this really true?”
As I grew in my Christian walk that began in my mid 40’s, God’s word, and the Holy Spirit, started to speak back to me in my thoughts and my mind.
What I realize now is that these were, and still are, spiritual attacks, from the world, from people I didn’t even know, and from friends and relatives who I thought I knew.
As I studied His word more & more, the scriptures, the promises, became clearer to me and I would hear them being recited back to me in my head when someone said something unkind to me or about me to the point that it became an automatic response and I would even share this with the person who said something to me.
After many years,
I finally began to accept and love myself for the fearfully and wonderfully made “passionate for God woman” He made me to be.
No one can ever take that from me.
I love the idea of devotion, reflection and journaling that your book offers.
God bless you, and thank you for this moment of sharing.
Jeanne
Jeanne says
For years I had lived with and believed other people’s observations about me without taking the time to ask myself, “is this really true?”
As I grew in my Christian walk that began in my mid 40’s, God’s word, and the Holy Spirit, started to speak back to me in my thoughts and my mind.
What I realize now is that these were, and still are, spiritual attacks, from the world, from people I didn’t even know, and from friends and relatives who I thought I knew.
As I studied His word more & more, the scriptures, the promises, became clearer to me and I would hear them being recited back to me in my head when someone said something unkind to me or about me to the point that it became an automatic response and I would even share this with the person who said something to me.
After many years,
I finally began to accept and love myself for the fearfully and wonderfully made “passionate for God woman” He made me to be.
No one can ever take that from me.
I love the idea of devotion, reflection and journaling that your book offers.
God bless you, and thank you for this moment of sharing.
Jeanne
Juliana says
This sounds so good! Much needed in our generation!
Kris says
Thank you for your message.. I love the picture of “markers of grace’. I would be blessed to receive this journal.. interestingly I had just looked at it the other day
Priscilla Reynolds says
Excited about this book. My husband works out of town and my boys are teens on their way out. Lately I’ve been trying to figure out who I am now. I feel God has presented this book to me.
Debbie says
How do you know what is coming from God and what is from our indicators from our past?
I am trying to find what God’s purpose for me is.
B. Lang says
This journal sounds so interesting!
Nadine says
Thank you for the opportunity to win the book.
Laura says
This sounds interesting. I’ve always struggled with feeling accepted and good enough. Thank you for a chance to win a copy of this!
Beth Williams says
Brittany,
Society today says be whatever or who ever you want to be. Anything & everything goes. Go ahead & change what God made. None of that aligns with God’s perfect will for our lives He created & gave us talents, likes & dislikes. It is up to us to discover & become the person He wants us to be.
As for your questions: There are times the devil whispers these false narratives “I’m stupid, not good enough, no one loves me”. Yes I believe them for a short while. That is until I get back to basics of what God’s word says.
Love helping others be it cooking meals when you are ill or have a lot going on, texting, calling or sending cards to say I care. What lights my fire is listening, dancing & even singing & signing to Contemporary Christian music. My latest favorite song is Chris Tomlin’s “Thank You Lord.”
Exodus 31:15 Work shall be done for six days, but the seventh is the Sabbath of rest, holy to the LORD. It was & is important to God for us to have a Holy day devoted to Him. He knows we all need rest-real rest. We all need to take one day a week & just sit with God for a while. Read the Bible, listen to Christian music. Just be calm & contemplate His wonderful mercies & grace.
Blessings 🙂
Carmen says
I needed this today! I can’t wait to read the book.