The week of Thanksgiving found me feeling not so thankful. I didn’t have plans to spend the day anywhere, so there were already emotions surrounding that. Then I got sick. A simple cold took me out. I found myself in bed for the entire week. I slept and slept and slept some more. I was miserable.
Sick and alone was in no way a part of my plan. Yet, here I was. For the most part, I actually love being single. I love the freedom to make my own choices and to do what I want and go where I want. But one thing I loathe about being single is that I have to make every decision and take care of myself. When I get sick, it’s just me.
Many tears were shed, and I felt weak and exhausted. I didn’t have any strength to believe the truth even though I knew it. Instead, I had an all-out pity party for myself. I sent out invites, and depression and hopelessness showed up with bells on.
I rehearsed all the standards lies: I’m alone. I’m unloved. I’m unseen. They played on a loop, and I allowed the voice of the enemy to grow louder than the voice of God.
Though I would’ve normally kept all my pain and struggle to myself, the Lord prompted me to share about how I was doing with my church and to ask for prayer. And then the church did what it’s supposed to do — be the hands and feet of Christ to me.
Multiple texts and phone calls began to come in to check on me. One friend brought me a Thanksgiving meal. Another brought me homemade chicken noodle soup. And my pastor’s wife brought me more soup and electrolytes. I was blown away by the love of God through their care for me.
Reaching out for help isn’t easy, but it is always worth it.
Galatians 6:10 says, “So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith.”
My church took this verse and ran with it when I needed them — they always do. They live out this verse in more ways than I can count.
As I received the care from my church family that I so needed, I realized that I had been so focused on myself and on how lonely I was. I’d become fixated on the lies and unmet expectations, wallowing in them. And without the Lord’s nudging, I probably would’ve kept my struggle to myself and relied on my own strength instead of relying on God and on others.
But God revealed to me that this was pride and not faith. I believed I had to do it all myself, that I couldn’t depend on anyone. I didn’t even expect Him to provide for me.
James 4:6 says, “He gives more grace. Therefore it says, ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.'”
I was humbled both in needing to reach out to my community and in receiving their care. Through it, I experienced God’s grace and again learned how much I need to rely on Him, abide in Him, and commune with Him and the body of Christ.
So this year, I want to put my focus upward and dwell in the Lord’s presence more. I want to grow in intimacy and fellowship with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. I want to trust Him and witness more of how He moves in and through the church.
I know I am not alone in this, and neither are you. There is grace for us all when we humble ourselves, open our hands, and receive.
How have you experienced the grace of God when you’ve reached out to others during a hard season?
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Oh the pity party- how I know all about that. And how easy it is to have one. I am 67, and a widow, and while there is a freedom that comes with this, the times when I am not feeling well, or have had a difficult time, or need to make yet another important decision, being able to talk about it is what I struggle with the most. And I often forget God’s presence and that God will listen to me no matter what.
That’s it Madeline! Praying that the Holy Spirit continually reminds you of God’s presence!
We (I!) so often forget the gift we give others when we allow them to help us. I am confident each of your friends that brought you food & support we’re equally if not more blessed than you felt by their acts of caring.
God’s ways are so much better than ours. May we be empowered more & more to be givers AND receivers of help to those in our paths.
Amen and Amen Ruth! I love His ways! That’s one of the ways I feel His love tangibly!
How I love a good ole pity party….even in a house with 2 or 3 other people. Just let me be pitiful in peace. I think I need to take care of others and worry about them but I don’t want people to do the same for me.
Thank you for sharing Kimmie! It’s a struggle for sure, but Praise God I’m learning and growing in this area!
Karina, I’m so glad you shared this! I think sharing our struggles, asking for help, and being willing to receive it is like a muscle. The more we use it, the stronger it gets and easier to use. What a gift that your church family showed up as Jesus would! I experienced God’s abundant grace through people after my hip surgery this fall, and then just this past week when my youngest son had a traumatic arm break. God is so good!
Thank you friend! Yes! God is so good! That muscle is building slowly, but surely! Ha! I’m beyond grateful for God’s patience with me!
I have been following you for a long time. We have been through similar journies, I believe (onesidedly)one-sided. Our growth has also been similar in many ways.
I too, found myself exhausted and feeling alone. I too, usually love the quiet of being alone, but when I am just worn out, I feel like I want some help with all of the decisions and moves. I had complained to an old friend about the exhaustion during this season of covid.
I didn’t believe my children would be able to know the smallest thing about taking care of me if I became ill. My friend did not reply to my text regarding that. That is Monica’s best form of chastisement.
A week later, while still exhausted, I simply stood up from my sofa and fell down. A ground level fall. I broke both ankles. One was straightforward, but the other was dislocated and broken in three places. It required an X fixator (surgery) and a hospital stay, with another scheduled. It’s been a long road to recovery. I’m two months in and a couple to go, minimally. I haven’t been able to walk.
When my insurance wouldn’t cover the rehabilitation stay, in my brain fog of weariness and pain meds I told them to just send me home, “I’ll take care if myself”.
Somewhere in there, I was blessed with some incredible nurses and their aides, with a social worker who didn’t stop until they pled my case.
Most of all, my children gathered and made a plan. I was swept away with metal rods protruding from my leg, dizzy with pain medicine, likely making little sense. I was taken in and given a very comfortable room in the house, prepared some of the most wonderful food and drink and even refused for me to have to make all the decisions, except those I invited on. My sons wife was really quite amazing, commode and all.
Meanwhile, Monica, who was growing into her new self, after a move from being the care of her family home, instead of remaing silent, told me she didn’t want to hear about me being all alone. “How very blessed you are”. Of course, I knew it.
While I have a couple more months to bust through this, to walking, then getting back to work, I know how very blessed I am. I have had time to reconnect with the friendships I felt were beside me in my walk in faith. Oh, we’ve had some long, and sometimes bitter, talks. I have many new friendships that were budding before my fall, and they have also really been a source of strength. The church in my son’s area have been so amazing.
Truly, I am blessed. The joy of the Lord is my help!
That’s alot Reba. I’m sorry for this season of hard. I praise God for His care and provision in your life! He is so good and faithful to us! May He bless you with Supernatural and speedy healing! May He continue to surround you with dear community!
So glad it’s worked out so well – my mother has shared some of her same notions with me – and in reality I would love to help her if she needs it. I’m glad your son and DIL got the chance to show u that!
Thank you! So true. When I focus on me I have turned away from the light of Jesus. My pride becomes my loneliness. Until I become humble, I become teachable. I was just diagnosed with diabetes type 2 the day after Christmas. I thought God is testing my faith. I prayed, reached out to my Aunt who is diabetic and another friend for support. This will be a journey not a burden. I put in a prayer request with my church and received an emailed back. If we are willing to be humble and reach out, God is right there!
Amen and Amen Pamela! He is always there! Praying for your journey and for supernatural healing!
You are such a great devotional encourager! Thank you for writing this – it is so thoughtful and true – it screamed at me and my perspective. Thank you!
I’m so glad Jessica! Thank you so much! Praise God!
Wow! So powerful, Karina ✨
Thank you for sharing about this so beautifully
Thank you so much Anna!
Karina,
Women are typically fixers. We want to be the ones helping out & lending a hand. Not the ones needing help. We often feel as though we have to be strong & do it all ourselves. In reality we rob others of the joy of being God’s hands & feet. The Bible has much to say about helping others such as: Galatians 6:2 Carry each other’s burdens and so you will fulfill the law of Christ. Hebrews 13:16 Don’t forget to do good & to share what you have cause God is pleased with these kinds of sacrifices. Romans 12:13 Contribute to the needs of God’s people, and welcome strangers in your home. Next time a problem arises or you just need to talk to someone go ahead & ask for assistance. You will be blessed & so will the giver.
Blessings 🙂
Thank you Beth!
I’ll be honest, I don’t like to ask for help. . .even from people I trust. I’m introverted and good at being an island and taking care of me on my own. I’m a very strong person and everyone always recognizes that about me but sometimes it gets draining. A few months ago, I suddenly became ill to the point of being in the hospital for a week and although I try very hard to keep my personal life separate from co-workers, slowly people started finding out. It was unexpected but many people offered various kinds of help and a neighbor I barely knew brought me home from the hospital, changes the sheets on my bed, washed my dishes, and got me food. Oddly, it feels foreign to me when people give so much of themselves especially when most of these people hardly know me. Fast forward a few months and for the last week or so I haven’t felt great and I’m exhausted but still trying to be super strong and take care of everything and then in the sermon yesterday, the Pastor is talking about strong introverts and to not be an island and to reach out when you need to and I constantly have one co-worker saying how they are there and reach out when I need to and I don’t have to do this alone and listening to the sermon, I am reminded AGAIN that it isn’t about me being strong but about Jesus being strong. . .why do I forget this so many times and keep trying to make it on my own strength???
Praise God for His provision! I totally understand Kimberly! Yes, let’s be those who put our pride aside, ask for help from the Body and allow God’s strength to be made perfect in our weakness!