About the Author

Karina Allen is devoted to helping women live out their unique calling and building authentic community through the practical application of Scripture in an approachable, winsome manner.

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  1. Oh the pity party- how I know all about that. And how easy it is to have one. I am 67, and a widow, and while there is a freedom that comes with this, the times when I am not feeling well, or have had a difficult time, or need to make yet another important decision, being able to talk about it is what I struggle with the most. And I often forget God’s presence and that God will listen to me no matter what.

  2. We (I!) so often forget the gift we give others when we allow them to help us. I am confident each of your friends that brought you food & support we’re equally if not more blessed than you felt by their acts of caring.
    God’s ways are so much better than ours. May we be empowered more & more to be givers AND receivers of help to those in our paths.

  3. How I love a good ole pity party….even in a house with 2 or 3 other people. Just let me be pitiful in peace. I think I need to take care of others and worry about them but I don’t want people to do the same for me.

  4. Karina, I’m so glad you shared this! I think sharing our struggles, asking for help, and being willing to receive it is like a muscle. The more we use it, the stronger it gets and easier to use. What a gift that your church family showed up as Jesus would! I experienced God’s abundant grace through people after my hip surgery this fall, and then just this past week when my youngest son had a traumatic arm break. God is so good!

  5. I have been following you for a long time. We have been through similar journies, I believe (onesidedly)one-sided. Our growth has also been similar in many ways.

    I too, found myself exhausted and feeling alone. I too, usually love the quiet of being alone, but when I am just worn out, I feel like I want some help with all of the decisions and moves. I had complained to an old friend about the exhaustion during this season of covid.

    I didn’t believe my children would be able to know the smallest thing about taking care of me if I became ill. My friend did not reply to my text regarding that. That is Monica’s best form of chastisement.

    A week later, while still exhausted, I simply stood up from my sofa and fell down. A ground level fall. I broke both ankles. One was straightforward, but the other was dislocated and broken in three places. It required an X fixator (surgery) and a hospital stay, with another scheduled. It’s been a long road to recovery. I’m two months in and a couple to go, minimally. I haven’t been able to walk.

    When my insurance wouldn’t cover the rehabilitation stay, in my brain fog of weariness and pain meds I told them to just send me home, “I’ll take care if myself”.

    Somewhere in there, I was blessed with some incredible nurses and their aides, with a social worker who didn’t stop until they pled my case.

    Most of all, my children gathered and made a plan. I was swept away with metal rods protruding from my leg, dizzy with pain medicine, likely making little sense. I was taken in and given a very comfortable room in the house, prepared some of the most wonderful food and drink and even refused for me to have to make all the decisions, except those I invited on. My sons wife was really quite amazing, commode and all.

    Meanwhile, Monica, who was growing into her new self, after a move from being the care of her family home, instead of remaing silent, told me she didn’t want to hear about me being all alone. “How very blessed you are”. Of course, I knew it.

    While I have a couple more months to bust through this, to walking, then getting back to work, I know how very blessed I am. I have had time to reconnect with the friendships I felt were beside me in my walk in faith. Oh, we’ve had some long, and sometimes bitter, talks. I have many new friendships that were budding before my fall, and they have also really been a source of strength. The church in my son’s area have been so amazing.

    Truly, I am blessed. The joy of the Lord is my help!

    • That’s alot Reba. I’m sorry for this season of hard. I praise God for His care and provision in your life! He is so good and faithful to us! May He bless you with Supernatural and speedy healing! May He continue to surround you with dear community!

    • So glad it’s worked out so well – my mother has shared some of her same notions with me – and in reality I would love to help her if she needs it. I’m glad your son and DIL got the chance to show u that!

  6. Thank you! So true. When I focus on me I have turned away from the light of Jesus. My pride becomes my loneliness. Until I become humble, I become teachable. I was just diagnosed with diabetes type 2 the day after Christmas. I thought God is testing my faith. I prayed, reached out to my Aunt who is diabetic and another friend for support. This will be a journey not a burden. I put in a prayer request with my church and received an emailed back. If we are willing to be humble and reach out, God is right there!

  7. You are such a great devotional encourager! Thank you for writing this – it is so thoughtful and true – it screamed at me and my perspective. Thank you!

  8. Karina,

    Women are typically fixers. We want to be the ones helping out & lending a hand. Not the ones needing help. We often feel as though we have to be strong & do it all ourselves. In reality we rob others of the joy of being God’s hands & feet. The Bible has much to say about helping others such as: Galatians 6:2 Carry each other’s burdens and so you will fulfill the law of Christ. Hebrews 13:16 Don’t forget to do good & to share what you have cause God is pleased with these kinds of sacrifices. Romans 12:13 Contribute to the needs of God’s people, and welcome strangers in your home. Next time a problem arises or you just need to talk to someone go ahead & ask for assistance. You will be blessed & so will the giver.

    Blessings 🙂

  9. I’ll be honest, I don’t like to ask for help. . .even from people I trust. I’m introverted and good at being an island and taking care of me on my own. I’m a very strong person and everyone always recognizes that about me but sometimes it gets draining. A few months ago, I suddenly became ill to the point of being in the hospital for a week and although I try very hard to keep my personal life separate from co-workers, slowly people started finding out. It was unexpected but many people offered various kinds of help and a neighbor I barely knew brought me home from the hospital, changes the sheets on my bed, washed my dishes, and got me food. Oddly, it feels foreign to me when people give so much of themselves especially when most of these people hardly know me. Fast forward a few months and for the last week or so I haven’t felt great and I’m exhausted but still trying to be super strong and take care of everything and then in the sermon yesterday, the Pastor is talking about strong introverts and to not be an island and to reach out when you need to and I constantly have one co-worker saying how they are there and reach out when I need to and I don’t have to do this alone and listening to the sermon, I am reminded AGAIN that it isn’t about me being strong but about Jesus being strong. . .why do I forget this so many times and keep trying to make it on my own strength???

    • Praise God for His provision! I totally understand Kimberly! Yes, let’s be those who put our pride aside, ask for help from the Body and allow God’s strength to be made perfect in our weakness!