As a young woman, I was forged in the fire of productivity and achievement. In the 90s and early 2000s, when I was married and raising kids, hustle culture was king. Back then, if I wasn’t exhausted, then I believed I wasn’t working hard enough. Likewise, if I didn’t stay up far past my bedtime to finish my to-do list, then could I even call myself a good wife or mother? For years, I made an Olympic sport out of setting myself on fire to keep everything else warm. Back then, I believed self-care — like a nap or a good night’s sleep — had to be earned.
Fast forward three decades as a single-again, empty nester, and I’ve embarked upon the wild adventure of re-designing my life. Part of this new journey has been revisiting a question I began asking myself over fifteen years ago when I realized that self-care wasn’t selfish:
How do I care for myself to the glory of God, to be a benefit to others and a blessing to myself?
Over the past two decades, I’ve learned that if I don’t take care of myself, then no one else will. Also, since God takes care of me, I have permission to take care of myself.
Six months ago, I added a new lesson: When I’m too comfortable, I’m more likely to neglect self-care.
It’s our human condition to both crave comfort and for comfort to betray us. When we’re too comfortable, we can lose our sense of the need for God. For me, I’d fallen into a rut of eating the same things and participating in the same workouts. I was present, but not engaged. Comfort can be good, but it can also become dangerous. When we’re feeling too comfortable, it reduces our need for God.
There’s a story in Daniel 1, where Jewish exiles Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego were selected as fine specimens to serve in the service of their captor, King Nebuchadnezzar. The four young men, either related to Judah’s royal family or other noble families, were brought to live in the king’s housing.
Early on, Daniel, Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego recognized that the king’s food was too rich and heavy. Chances are, the other young men in the king’s training program welcomed the luxurious foods. But Daniel discerned that the king’s food would not bless his body nor his spiritual self.
Rather than go along to get along, Daniel approached the chief of staff to request permission for an experiment:
“Please test us for ten days on a diet of vegetables and water. At the end of the ten days, see how we look compared to the other young men who are eating the king’s food. Then make your decision in light of what you see.”
Daniel 1:12-13 NLT
At the end of this experiment, Daniel and the three other Jewish young men looked healthier than the other men who’d eaten the king’s rich food and wine.
What I appreciate about this story is that Daniel took a risk and asked to try something good, but different than what was being done. In his shrewdness, he didn’t ask for a complete lifestyle change, but rather a simple first step.
Though I’m not facing Daniel’s pressures, I love how his story reminds me that transformation doesn’t have to start big. It can begin with one small, intentional act of obedience and trust. This approach resonates with me. Too often, we fear the challenge of self-care because we think we must change everything at once.
Let’s leverage the power of small steps! What if there was one small healthy change you could make for ten days?
What if you tried one of the following for ten days:
- Taking a walk once a day
- Reading your Bible for five minutes
- Drinking an extra glass of water
- Going to bed an hour earlier
- Journaling five things you’re grateful for
- Eating an extra vegetable a day
Which one appeals to you? These may not seem like much, but one change can spark a fire in your transformative journey. My self-care journey began over twenty years ago with putting on one pair of earrings each day. That’s what God used to bring me along on that life-transforming journey slowly. He can do the same for you!
Again, you only need to pick one. Many of us feel overwhelmed by everything in our lives, so don’t stress yourself by overdoing a launch into self-care. It’s small changes that become the stepping stones to long-term change.
Over the years, God has taught me that caring for myself isn’t about chasing perfection or proving my worth. It’s about honoring the body and life He’s entrusted to me. What once drove me to exhaustion — my need to please, to produce, to prove — no longer holds power over me. God never asked us to burn out. He invites us to burn bright.
Self-care isn’t selfish; it’s sacred. It’s how we remember that our worth isn’t earned through exhaustion but anchored in God’s love. When we honor Him by caring for ourselves, we make space for His strength to shine through our surrendered lives.
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