Content Warning: This article includes discussion of suicidal thoughts. While the story is shared with honesty and hope, it may be difficult for some readers. If you are struggling, please know you are not alone — support is available. In the U.S. and Canada, you can dial or text 988 for immediate help. (Names and details have been modified for privacy.)
It was Sam’s first Sunday at our church.
She came up to me after I had finished preaching, introduced herself, and asked if we could talk after service. She said it was about something sensitive. Her eyes were wide and frantic, and I could sense how immediately she needed to speak.
As we sat down to chat, the first words out of her mouth were, “I’m planning on ending my life today.” She was jittery and fidgeting with her hands. I took a breath, my heart pounding in my chest.
“Coming here was my last shot,” she continued. “I saw the church and walked in. This is it. I needed to see if God cares about me anymore. But I think I might be done after this.”
Honestly, I didn’t know how to respond. I gently asked if I could go get my husband, explaining how he’s currently getting his doctorate to be a psychologist and that he might have some wisdom to offer.
“Oh yes,” she responded. “I’ll take any help I can get.”
About 45 seconds later, my husband joined me at the table; the three of us huddled together on the far side of the room. Sam started telling us how desperate she felt. She woke up depressed. She went to bed depressed. She felt like she had nothing and no one. She had followed God for years, but she didn’t know if she was doing it right. Nothing in her life was changing.
For most of the conversation, we simply listened. Every so often, we’d ask a question. Sometimes we’d offer a comment, but for the most part, we just let Sam share. The overwhelming theme of her story was how crushingly alone she felt.
While my husband, David, wrote down resources for her – hotlines to call, and people to talk to – I told Sam, “I’d love to see you back at church service next week. I’d love for you to be part of our church.”
Her eyes widened. “Really?”
“Absolutely, Sam. The Bible talks about how when you follow God, you’re in the family of God. That means you get to be part of our church family! That means we’re family!”
All of her mannerisms suddenly changed. Her fidgeting relaxed. Her frantic eyes were suddenly calm. She actually looked giddy and clapped her hands together, reminding me of a child on their birthday when a cake is presented before them.
“I’m in the family?” She repeated back to me.
I reached out to squeeze her hand, and her fingers clutched mine as desperately and as tightly as she could.
“You sure are, Sam,” I said. “You’re in the family of God. That means every single Sunday, you get to come to a church service, and you get to have all of these people as your friends. You aren’t alone anymore. You have God, and you also have us.”
Psalm 68:6 declares a promise, “God places the lonely in families; he sets the prisoners free and gives them joy.” (NLT)
All of a sudden, joy was written all over Sam’s face. Her struggles had not disappeared, but I saw before my own eyes how joy was suddenly part of her testimony. The family of God is incredibly important – because God places the lonely in families.
Maybe you are the “lonely” described in Psalm 68. Maybe you resonate with Sam, and you long to belong. I want you to know something: you are a part of the family of God. I urge you to get connected to a local church and actively participate in the body of Christ. God is ready to place you into a family.
Or maybe you are not the lonely one, but instead, someone who has been a part of the family of God for as long as you can remember. Maybe you go to church services weekly, volunteer, and help in whatever ways you can. What Sam helped me realize is that when you’ve been part of the family of God for a long time, you can take it for granted. You can focus on the work it requires and, honestly, how hard it can sometimes be. But being part of a church isn’t simply about the work – it’s about the people.
Being part of the family of God is what we were made for. You get to help the “lonely” belong. You get to welcome them into the family.
Two weeks later, Sam wanted to talk after church again. I gave her an enormous hug, and was greeted with an even more enormous grin stretching across her beautiful face.
“I wanted to thank you and David,” she told me. “Two weeks ago, my life was saved. Life isn’t perfect, but it’s so much better because I know I’m not alone anymore.”
Stepping foot in church that day was literally a death-to-life experience for Sam. And perhaps that’s part of why our resurrecting God designed church the way He did…
To remind each other that God’s family is so much better because we’re each a part of it.
What a powerful story and so timely in a sense. This past Sunday it was my turn to share why I go to church and specifically why my church. Basically, it is being a part of a family- God’s family. It is a place of acceptance, support, help, inspiration, service, etc., etc.,etc. Having moved around a little, it was always important for me to find a church. Sometimes that fit was not so easy. But I have actually been fortunate enough to move back to my wonderful town and be a part of my church after an absence of 10 years- that’s how much it means to me. It sounds like you have an amazing church to make that woman feel so safe and welcomed to make such a difference in her heart.
Oh Aliza, God bless you and your husband for your warm response to “Sam”! I’ve often felt like this, and your response to her made my eyes well up. I’m introverted and reaching out is challenging for me, to say the least. Your post has me rethinking looking for a church.
Thank you!
DearAliza……..I was so happy to read a devotion that addressed what I have been going through for five years now. Going back to the beginning, I am 78 years old, as of yesterday. My husband at the time of 54 years I could see that his mind was failing. After consulting two neurologists, they both said, yes it is dementia, but your husband is fortunate that you recognized it early. At the time, there were 2 medications that could slow the progress, but he had to stop his heavy drinking immediately. He refused to believe the doctors and I knew he would never stop drinking.He flushed the medication down the toilet. I called our son and told him what was happening. He said there was nothing wrong with his father except old age. I read him part of the written report that the doctors had given me. He said I was lying and just making all that up. With a heavy heart, I realized that there was no one else to go to for help. All of the relatives had passed and thankfully living in Heaven with Jesus. I kept trying for 3+ years even though every single night of those years, he abused me. Words and actions were terrible and he hurt me badly Physically, mentally and emotionally. I was praying so much, but not getting an answer. These dementia rages were due to him being drunk and the dementia really appearing and of course, 10 minutes later,, he said he never did what I said he did, until that night in April, 2022 when he actually tried to kill me. I called my son again and again and he finally said , Stop lying (my name), not Mom. He said I no longer consider you my mother and you can never see or speak to your grandson ever again and he hung up on me. I was crushed once again. The police had been there that night twice and he would not follow their instructions and told me that I needed to stop worrying about him and thinking about my own safety. I was a church person, but as I aged I couldn’t get there anymore or volunteer for anything. I felt so guilty that I couldn’t do what they were asking. I could finally watch church or my computer and every week, I did, but my hope was waning and I began to have thoughts of suicide to escape this dark season. I fought with myself about this and even told Jesus. At that time, the doctors told me I needed to get him out of the house or the next time he would kill me as there were so many guns in the house , but they also said that 10 minutes later, he would forget that he did it. This scared me and at that point I had to act in his and my behalf. Suicide had left my mind at that time and I had extensive conversations with my minister and she helped me so very much. So as the story is so much longer, I will just say I did get him out of the house and my son put him into an Independent Living facility. Now I had to sell our home of 40 years as we both needed the money to pay the expenses at these places, so I had to move too. We ended up in 2 separate facilities. This is when the loneliness became so severe I just sat and cried. To have to sell the 4 bedroom house and move to a one bedroom apartment meant I had to get rid of so many things which I donated. You don’t realize how much you have collected over 40 years. Also, I had no one to help me. I have moved 3 times now as I don’t really need to be in these facilities, but I had nowhere else to go. Where I am now, it is supposed to be Independent Living, but it is not. The 100 people that live here, 92% of them are between 80 and over 100. They do not like me as I don’t share my story with most. I dress like I did when I worked 35 years as a manager at a very large company and we were told that we should dress professionally. The people here, many of them think I am a show off and shun me. Anyway I have already took up too much of your time. I have 4 or 5 good friends, but they all have trouble hearing and a certain level of dementia. The loneliness has taken over me, but during the past 6 months due to all of the (in)courage women that I get devotions every morning have helped me so much and Jesus, Lord and my Holy Spirit have come to my prayers and help me so much I have begun to deal with the loneliness, but there is a new facility that will be ready in February, 2026 and it truly is Independent Living, Assisted Living, and Memory Care so people that will live there will be in the right place for the care they need. I am hoping to be picked to move there and that has given me a new perspective and much more HOPE. I know that my Holy Spirit nudged me to read the advertisement that announced this. I am praying many times every day as the other situation continues and my grandson will be 15 in 2 weeks. The last time I saw him, he was barely 11. Thank you Aliza for your words as now you have helped me to understand that there are others that have serious problems. I send my love to you and thank you and your husband for helping that women. My church is trying to help me too. I wish you a Blessed week and thank you once again for your words and story……………..Betsy Basile