“Amazing grace, how sweet the sound, that saved a wretch like me.” I’m a little girl standing in front of a wooden pew, hymnal in my hands, singing off-key. In the sincere sentiment of John Newton’s song, I hear my deepest fear, “You are a wretch; you are bad.”
Later, as an exuberant participant in youth group, I make a similar misinterpretation. In 1 Timothy 1:15, Paul claims the title “chief of sinners.” Joining Paul in declaring myself a “sinner” seems like an act of faith-filled revolution.
Then one morning in a coffee shop decades later, weary from the inner voice of shame, I decide to ask, “Am I really a wretch and sinner?”
I look up the backstory of Amazing Grace and discover John Newton wrote these words about his former self as the captain of a slave ship, not as a description of himself as a faithful minister and devoted abolitionist.
Paul is also not describing a current identity. The meaning of “chief” can be translated as “first in rank.” Imagine an athlete who sets a world record that is never beaten, even though they retire from the sport. They would still be “first in rank,” although this is not their daily reality.
The language surrounding the “chief of sinners” phrase is past tense. Paul says he “was formerly a blasphemer, a persecutor, and an insolent man” (1 Timothy 1:13). In Romans, Paul also says, “While we were still sinners, Christ died for us” (Romans 5:8, emphasis mine). The implication is that he, and all believers, are not sinners now.
The Greek word for “sinner” is “harmatolos” and means someone who is “devoted to sin.” Paul would not claim this identity, and yet, for many years, I felt compelled to do so. Every time I made a mistake or fell short of an expectation, it seemed to confirm that I was a sinner.
However, sin, when it relates to Christians, is described as an action, not an identity. It is something we still sometimes do, but it is not who we are.
The New Testament has over 175 names for believers who faithfully follow Jesus, but “sinner” is not one of them. “Sinner” is a false accusation; the names we are given are love-based affirmations.
Saying we’re “sinners” can feel true because we know what we are capable of as humans. But claiming this title is deeply unhelpful. People tend to become who they believe themselves to be. If we’re constantly told we’re sinners, what is that doing to our hearts?
We can also falsely think that one of the best ways to glorify God is to be hard on ourselves. But telling ourselves we’re bad is not a way to make God look good. It is not the way of Love. The voice of Love is an invitation that says, “Remember who you really are. Rest in who you will forever be. Nothing and no one can change your identity.”
The truest thing about you is not that you are bad.
The truest thing about you is that you are beloved.
I wish I could go back to that little girl holding the heavy hymnal with words she didn’t understand. I would take it from her hands. I would whisper in her ear, “There is goodness and beauty here, but not every word is what it seems. You are not a wretch, dear one; you are a wildly loved child of God. That is truth; that is amazing grace.”
Do you want more reminders of the truth about your identity? Holley created 31 free affirmation cards to remind you of who God says you are! Get yours now.
I struggle with this a lot. I always worry that when I sin, it means I lose my salvation, but the bible is showing me that’s not the case. This was a further reminder of that promise. Thank you.
Thank you for the reminder that my identity is not sin, but a child of God who is loved beyond measure.
AMEN & AMEN! “You are not a wretch, dear one; you are a wildly loved child of God. That is truth; that is amazing grace.”
Dear Holley, What a beautiful way to remind us that we are not bad. God loves us and will never fail to feel that way. It took me sometime to realize this when I was in a very dark season 5 years ago. I kept blaming myself for my now ex-husband’s dementia and my son did not believe me and said some very evil thinks to me. He will never again talk to me and will not allow me to speak or see my one grandchild who is 15. As broken as I felt and I have not forgotten it fully yet, but I am doing better. Through prayer and thinking about what I know. I do not blame myself anymore. I know I was telling my son the truth and it came to me that Satan was guiding him to believe my husband’s stories that he told my son that were made up to make me look bad, but I am not bad and if I do something at times as we are human beings, and are not perfect. Only our Lord is perfect. Jesus is helping me too as I pray to him and of course, my Holy Spirit is always with me. It will take my heart some more time to get over being broken so many times by them, but I will get there. Thank you Holley for your very encouraging words that I read the (in)courage devotions first thing every morning. I always find something in every one of them that gives me more strength to move on. Have a Blessed Day and thank you once again for your help……….Love, Betsy Basile
Hi Holley,
Good message; we are humans capable of sin, as an action, but, that is not our identity. I think we forget that Christs saving grace puts that identity in the past, giving us a new identity in Him!
Thank you for the beautiful scripture cards! Very positive messages of who and Whose we are during our life in Christ.
Have a wonderful day!
Thank you, Holley! Your words shine a light on some misconceptions many of us have absorbed into.our minds. Yes, we are forgiven, accepted and loved. Hallelujah!
I am forever thankful for GOD’S GRACE (Seen as though I have not sinned)~forgiven for what Jesus did on the CROSS for me and others who claim His Name. MAY OUR LORD BE GIVEN THE GLORY!
I can’t tell you how much this helped my heart today. I’ve been struggling lately with a memory from my past that has haunted me day and night. I believe it’s an attack of the enemy, but I just could not shake it. I AM BELOVED. Thank you, Jesus.
♥Christine
Amen! I too can relate to always having a super sensitive soul as a little girl.
Thank you, thank you, thank you for this powerful reminder of our belovedness! We’re so deeply aware of our brokenness—and the world and our enemy reminds us constantly of all the ways we fall short of perfection. Instead of more voices that beat us over our heads with our sin, we need more voices like yours, reminding us who God says we are: Beloved. So grateful for your words—keep preaching this real, beautiful, truly good news, Holly!!