Hospitality. What is it, really? When we overstress, overplan, and overthink inviting others into our lives and homes, hospitality becomes overwhelming to our souls. We become slaves to the expectations of others. We freeze at the mere thought of extending an invitation. Craving both perfection and polished perception, we fall victim to a cruel taskmaster. So how do we find the balance here? How do we open our door to the unknown without opening ourselves to dread and discouragement?

It comes down to knowing the difference between entertaining and hospitality.  

The entertaining host seeks to elevate herself. When the guest arrives, the entertainer announces, “Here I am. Come into my beautiful abode and have the honor of partaking of all the wonderful things I’ve spent hours getting done for you. Look at this lavish buffet, the intricate décor, and the wonderful party favors. How fortunate for you to be here and be part of this.”

While I embellish on what a hostess might actually say, we’ve all encountered this attitude once or twice, haven’t we? Maybe we’ve even allowed a similar tone to slip ever so subtly into our own hosting.  

Hospitality, unlike entertaining, treats everyone as a guest of honor rather than grasping at honor for yourself. Biblical hospitality offers our best to Him first, understanding that our best to others will then fall into place. It transforms our selfish motives and elevates our guest. When the hospitable hostess swings wide the door, all her attention focuses outward: “You’re here! I’ve been waiting for you. No one is more important today than you, and I’m thrilled you’ve come.” Shifting our focus from us to them removes all unnecessary expectations. No need to worry about what to say or how to act. Just come as you are.  

Opening your door has nothing to do with the actual setting, the guest list, or the food. The atmosphere can be exactly the same yet have very different results based on the heart attitude of the one who welcomes.  

Status-seeking versus servanthood.  

“Here I am” versus “here you are.”  

Self-serving to serving others.  

We have no grand blueprint for hospitality aside from loving others. As the master architect, God drew up hospitality so that it gravitates around this core component. 

He is not shy about interrupting our best-laid plans. He will ask us to give up the ordered control we consider so crucial before we’ll open the door. But the reason we open the door anyway is because we’re driven by the main principles of hospitality: loving Him, loving His will, and following His will into loving others.  

The deep-seated worrying, the excuses, and the overthinking of a simple invitation should be warning signs, telling us we’re confusing social entertaining with hospitality. When we use our lives exactly as they are, desiring only to create a sacred space for our guests, mixing it with the countercultural truth of loving Jesus and loving others, we turn entertaining upside down, and it becomes radical hospitality. 

Every time we choose open-door living — whether in our homes or by taking hospitality on the road just like Jesus — those we invite in get to experience the lived-out Gospel, and we trade insecurity for connection. It’s never perfect, but then neither are we.

Truly, our homes—no matter how imperfect—are the most likely location for changing the world around us. 

The secret is to start small. Be spontaneous. Invite one friend over for coffee and offer delicious store-bought coffee cake. If you have time to make your favorite homemade recipe, that’s wonderful, but don’t let that dictate whether you extend an invitation.  

 Here are a few simple suggestions to get you started: 

• Invite your friends or neighbors to a root beer float party. 

• Send a group text invitation for a “Popsicle and Pop-in” time with the kids.  

• Gather the neighbors together for a hot chocolate party. 

• Host a “Build Your Own ________ Bar” meal. Be creative! You can have a build-your-own ice cream bar, baked potato bar, burrito bar, or pizza bar. For a fancier occasion, try a bruschetta bar or mashed potato bar (served up in martini glasses for a dramatic flair). These work well for large groups, and everyone can bring a topping, which means minimal work and cost for the host.  

• Never underestimate the power of the grill. Throw chicken and hot dogs on the grill and have everyone bring a side or dessert to share. 

• Pizza Party — everyone loves pizza!  

Opening your door doesn’t require you to be a gourmet chef or have the resources to throw an elaborate celebration. All that’s required is a willingness to say “yes” to inviting others into your life. 

What is one simple step you can take to open your door to a friend or neighbor this season?  

Article by Jen Schmidt from the (in)courage archives and featured in Everyday Faith Magazine.

The Fall 2025 edition of Everyday Faith is available now, and you’re going to love it! 

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