I grew up as a GenX kid in the early 80’s who ran the streets in my small suburban community without a care in the world. Our moms would shoo everyone out of the house in the early mornings, giving a warning not to run in and out all day. We rode our bikes, drank out of backyard water hoses, and ate cheap candy by the pound. Then, I made it home by the time the streetlights came on. Barely. Those were great years!
Frankly, I thought those times would last forever. Then, I turned 12 years old. That was the summer when my paternal grandma, Mama (pronounced Maw-Maw), declared that I slouched too much, and she was going to change that.
Mama was a light-skinned, older Southern Black woman who didn’t tell us what year she was born until a few years before her passing in 2016 at 92 years old. Mama also carried a lifelong disappointment: Her height. At 5’9″, Mama lamented her height regularly. Growing up in the Jim Crow South, Mama’s race made life difficult, but her height made her feel like a target. As far as Mama was concerned, it was tragic that I inherited her height.
Thanks to a dramatic growth spurt, I’d become one of the tallest kids in my elementary school. Add in my thick-lensed glasses, large front teeth, and attending a school with only a few African-American students, and there was a lot about me for kids to tease.
It’s no surprise my slouch reflected my self-esteem.
Mama noticed. She determined she wouldn’t allow her long-legged granddaughter to try to hide. While my young male cousins were popping wheelies and playing pickup basketball, I spent my summer inside with a book. Not to read. But sitting on top of my head. Mama’s declaration: “Barbara, it’s time for you to learn how to stand tall.”
That summer, I walked back and forth across her living room carpet with a book settled on top of my head. At first, the book slid off often because I wasn’t aware of how much slouching impacted my posture. Using her refined, slow Southern voice, Mama said repeatedly, “Barbara, straighten your back. Lift your head.”
It took a few days, but I figured out how to do what Mama asked. Then, it was fun to see how many times I could walk up and back with the book on my head. My grandmother knew that standing tall would help me hold onto my dignity in a world where I wouldn’t always be judged by the content of my character but instead by the color of my skin.
Mama’s instructive words spoke freedom into my life. As my head lifted, my view of myself shifted, and my hope for the future increased. While I never had a close relationship with Mama, her words and presence that summer became the gift of a lifetime.
There’s nothing more precious than speaking hope and freedom into the lives of others. Speaking words like, “You can do this,” or “God loves you” to those with their heads hanging low is speaking freedom instead of reinforcing fear. Our life-giving words are a free gift we can lavishly give to others.
In Galatians, Paul the Apostle writes to believers, encouraging them to disregard the threatening voices that sought to keep them from living fully free and alive in Christ. Paul wrote the following proclamation, and his words would have radically changed the mindset of those who’d never heard these freeing words before:
“For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus. And all who have been united with Christ in baptism have put on Christ, like putting on new clothes. There is no longer Jew or Gentile, slave or free, male and female. For you are all one in Christ Jesus.”
Galatians 3:26-28 NLT
The gospel of God’s grace brings freedom to all who hear it and receive it for themselves. Do you see how Paul casts a vision for how Jesus brings unity within our vast diversity of life experiences, backgrounds, race, and culture? It’s terrific that you and I have the privilege of sharing that freedom with others.
Speaking of freedom… On this day, 160 years ago, the last American slaves were notified of their freedom. President Abraham Lincoln signed the Emancipation Proclamation about 900 days before, but it took a special messenger to bring the news to those enslaved people that they were free. While modern debates roar on both sides about President Lincoln’s motives and the politics of slavery, Juneteenth is a day we celebrate in memory of our commitment to freedom for all.
Freedom means so much more when we enjoy it together. God wants to use you to bring good news. Who can you speak words of hope and freedom to today?
Can you walk with a book on your head? At 5’10”, Barb still can, even in high heels. She loves writing to women about experiencing God’s great adventure of faith and purpose through prayer in her newest Bible study, Matthew: Pray Like This.
Loved this so much! I’m short but had the same problem! You think at 73 years of age the book on my head will work?
Terry, yes! You can slip that book on your head and enjoy taking a few strolls for fun. Go for it! Thank you for joining us today on (in)courage.
Thanks for sharing. Blessings to you on this day.
Thank you, Sue! I’m so glad you stopped by and joined our conversation.
Freedom for all. May that be remembered every day. May we all encourage each other to not only stand tall but to stand up for each other.
Amen, Maura. Yes! I love what you’ve shared. Thank you for adding encouragement to today’s conversation.
Dear Barb…………….I love your words today and even smiled and giggled at parts of it. My grandmother used to scare my sister and I as she was very strict with us and we were punished if she caught us. Even my father , her 1 son, when my grandmother visited us at our home, had to go to the basement if he wanted to drink his 2 beers, as Mom-Mom thought it was evil to drink alcohol. She belonged to a different religion than ours that had many strange ideas and the little money that she had all went to this church. Today, though is a Happy Day, June Nineteenth as in 1865 Abraham Lincoln who signed the Emancipation Proclamation many days before this day, freeing all of the slaves, but because of slow travel in those days it took until this special day to notify ALL slaves that they were free. I am not a woman of color but I do celebrate this day as Abe Lincoln finally was a president that did the right thing. I don’t believe it was politically motivated as some do, but government in those days was much different than what we are suffering today. I always wear Red, white and blue or tan on this day. I think of how much people of color have given us that is so important and this is a great day to recognize that. Barb, I did chuckle a bit and imagined what it must been to have a book on you had and I am very short so I love to see tall women who I feel always look elegant. Thank you for your devotion. The dark season that I continue to be in, makes it difficult for me to smile and laugh, but you did that for me along with reminding all of us that working together no matter with who, is a very important thing to maybe get our government to start to compromise like they used to in the 50’s and 60’s like I remember well. I wish you a Blessed week and send you my prayers to tell Jesus how you helped me today. Love………Betsy
Hi Betsy, thank you for your insights and encouraging words, today. I’m so glad that my story could bring a smile to your face. We’re so glad!
Barb thank you for what you wrote in today devotion Love it. Most of us can’t walk with a book on our head without it falling of. Our word are gift from God if we can lavish on others. But as Ephesians 4:29 says “Do not let unwholesome words ever come out of your mouth but only such speech as is good for building up others according to the need and the occasion so that it will be a blessing to those who hear you speak” how true that is. So we have to as followers of Jesus make our speech a blessing to others and God. So when we say something it will build them up and us as the scripture says. Not like the book on our head that keeps falling of it doesn’t stay put because we can’t walk straight if our body is out of line to walk the way in life God wants us too not following the world.That is the same with our mouth.We can not talk properly and the way God wants us too.if our lives are not in tune with God and his word. So the only way to live is in tune with God through spending time with him reading is word every day and praying every day. Then our mouths and our speech will glorify God. As every thing we say and do will be about God. Amen. Dawn Ferguson-Little Enniskillen Co.Fermanagh N.Ireland xx
Barb, you are a beautiful woman filled with wisdom! Thank you for sharing this message.
I think everyone has areas that we need to work on. God is so good & always available to show us the way He wants us to go.
Lord bless you Barb with your ministry & encouraging others.
Barb,
You are beautifully tall. Stand tall for all of us who are height challenged!
You have a beautiful smile too.
Sending you summer JOY,
Lisa
This is so moving and I loved growing up as a Gen X kid too!! Sending blessings to all, celebrating us all, all equal, all God’s children!!
I think God can speak those life giving words of hope and freedom. Also, friends and family can and should speak good words over you.
Lastly, I think we need to learn to open up that dialogue within ourselves. If we connect with goodness, it can bring a trickle down effect in a multitude of areas in our lives.