The phone rings. I say an innocent hello. Unexpected news fills my eyes with tears, my thoughts with fears, and the conversation with unanswerable questions. It’s been awhile now, but I still remember.
Have you ever gotten a call like this? Most of us will in this lifetime. If not a call, then there will be a surprising moment, a sudden fissure in the foundation of our existence that leaves us shaken and confused.
Where is God in those moments? Does He even care about such things?
I think of Nicodemus, the Pharisee who came to Jesus with uncertainty and questions. He didn’t do so in broad daylight; “He came to Jesus at night” (John 3:2). We can come to Jesus in the dark, feeling our way through the shadows, and show up in His presence when it feels like the sun has gone down in our lives.
Nicodemus likely chose this timing because of fear. We, too, can come to Jesus when fear makes our hearts beat hard, with trembling hands and worry creasing our foreheads. Jesus doesn’t say, “Get rid of your fear, then come.” No, He is a show-up-as-you-are God. Our emotions don’t intimidate or offend Him, our humanness doesn’t surprise Him. He is glad we are here, no matter how we arrived.
In this conversation with Nicodemus, Jesus speaks words we know well today: “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life” (John 3:16 NIV).
I’ve heard this beloved verse a thousand times, yet it brings tears to my eyes as I type this morning. I realize in a new way that Jesus is saying, “Nicodemus, long before you came to me, God chose to come for you.” The same is true for all of us. And God came not out of duty or obligation, not with a sigh of annoyance or a roll of His eyes. No, God loved, so He put skin on and came.
Not only did God come, but He did so without condemnation. “For God did not send his Son into the world to condemn the world, but to save the world through him” (John 3:17 NIV). So often, when we think of approaching God with our hurts, frustrations, disappointments, and doubts, we picture Him as distant or critical.
But the voice of our inner critic isn’t the voice of the One who loves us. In our most tender moments, Jesus offers the gentleness of grace, the “welcome home” of a dear friend, and the comfort of one who knows what it means to weep.
Jesus finishes His conversation with Nicodemus by saying, “Whoever lives by the truth comes into the light” (John 3:21 NIV). This is a beautiful transition. Nicodemus comes in the night, and Jesus ends by inviting him into the light — the same invitation He still has for each of us.
What does this look like in our day-to-day lives? It can be as small as pausing right now to say, “Jesus, I come to You in the night, in the dark places of my life. I bring you my questions and fears, my longings and hurt, my hopes and sorrows. Thank You that long before I ever came to You, You came for me, and You have never stopped. I trust You to meet me with love in this moment. I release everything and everyone to You. With Your grace and great gentleness, bring Your light where I need it most today. Amen.”
We come to Jesus in the night to know we are not alone. We come to remember how much we’re loved. We come to place our questions before the only One who has the truth we need even more than answers.
If you’re in a season of unanswered questions because of broken trust or hurt in a relationship, Holley’s online course, Heal After You’re Hurt can help. Angela, a graduate, said, “It was exactly what I needed at exactly the right time.”
Holley,
It’s a joy to listen to your devotional! Anna does such a great job reading!
Sending you summer joy,
Lisa Wilt
Thank you! Yes, Anna is a gift!
Dear Holley…………..What a reassuring devotion you have given us this morning. It is just what I need as I have so many situations that have placed me in a dark season for the past almost 5 years. I have received one of those calls you talked about and I ended up losing $26,000 that I never recovered so I am very cautious about any phone call or email that I receive. Phone calls, I just don’t answer if I don’t recognize the number. I feel if it is someone that really wants to talk to me, they will leave me a message to call back. I also am very careful about emails that look suspicious so I just don’t open and delete them or report them as ” Spam”. At 77 years old, I feel these scammers really target older people as we did not grow up with all the technical things out there. I loved that prayer you left for us and I have already said it twice while I was reading it. Thank you for giving us HOPE in dark days. I can see a little light at the end of the tunnel, so I will try to be patient and I know that Jesus will be working on giving me answers to my prayers and I will have peace, love and happiness again as I did in my much younger years. I am alone for many reasons that are too long to tell you. I am not used to this and I know my Holy Spirit is still with me always as is Jesus, but sometimes I crave having a human being sitting with me on the couch, talking to me. Holley, please I wish for you to have a Blessed week and much joy in your life. Love to you……………………..Betsy
You are loved today and always, Betsy.
Really needed this today. I woke up at early o’clock suddenly worried about my son. He’s lost his easy grin and his energy. What else to do but pray?
Praying with you for your son today!
I appreciate this grace-filled way of seeing Nicodemus’ visit and Jesus’ grace-filled response. I have asked God to teach me the “language” of grace, which I didn’t learn in the Christian sub-culture I grew up in (fear was akin to sin, as it was construed as not trusting God, or worse, being disobedient to God’s command to “fear not”). It is slow going, since I don’t think many believers really know this language, but I recognize it when I hear it. It is life-giving.