“Speak, Lord, for Your servant is listening.”
I Samuel 3:9
About a decade ago, I could’ve convinced anyone that I was thriving. I was happily married, I was writing and performing my own music, I was leading worship — my dream job. But I knew I wasn’t living in freedom.
In every room I stepped into, I was afraid to stand out in any way. Every time I’d take the stage, I felt like I was hitting a wall. Instead of just taking inspiration from other artists, I was constantly comparing myself to them. And no matter how I “performed” or how people responded, in my mind, I’d always come up short. This often left me feeling like a fraud, or even worse, a failure. As God opened my eyes, I came to see that so much of my potential was being stunted by my fears.
Consider what fear does to us.
If you spot a herd of buffalo stampeding toward you, your body is designed to explode with fear. That surge of adrenaline fuels you to run for your life. God created us with emotions for our good. Fear, sadness, anger, and joy are the body‘s way of communicating something we need to know. Fear, sadness, and anger are all natural responses to trauma and pain. But when the hurt is allowed to fester, when we don’t face our pain, those same feelings can turn on us and begin to bully us. That’s where I was. Rather than facing the messiness of my past, I tried to ignore it, and it turned on me.
In Life of the Beloved, Henri Nouwen writes, “Every time you feel hurt, offended, or rejected, you have to dare to say to yourself: ‘These feelings, strong as they may be, are not telling me the truth about myself. Even though I cannot feel it right now, the truth is that I am the chosen child of God, precious in God’s eyes, called the Beloved from all eternity, and held safe in an everlasting embrace.’” Nouwen’s holy words were an invitation to me to own my inherent belovedness. They set me on a path to discover my identity as a beloved child of God.
We’re all trying to figure out who we are, right? I think too often we write the “good parts” about ourselves in pencil and the “bad parts” in pen — or in thick permanent marker. We look in the mirror, and we own all the ways we believe we’re not good enough. We don’t simply hear them and let them roll off our backs. Instead, we treat them as gospel truth.
The reality is that we are all pilgrims on a journey. We have not yet arrived; we are works in progress. We are sinners who will make some mistakes and take some hits. But we fear that these shortcomings define us. Rather, the core of our identity is that we are loved by God. Period.
Maybe, like me, you’ve been living in fear. One woman looks in the mirror and hates what she sees staring back at her. One man catches his reflection in a storefront window and worries that his bad choices will destroy him. A child living in a chaotic home tries to be good so that he or she won’t be left alone. Sometimes we don’t even notice that we’re allowing our fears to drive us.
I’m still on the journey to embrace my belovedness. Every day, I have to make the choice to believe the truth of who I am and to reflect the glory that God has put in my life.
Nouwen’s invitation to me all those years ago — to embrace the fullness of my belovedness — is the same one I want to extend to you. Romans 11:29 tells us, “For God’s gifts and His call can never be withdrawn” (NLT). You were not made to be owned by your fears. Rather, the unalterable and undeniable truth is that you were created, from the beginning, as beloved. It’s who you are. And nothing could ever take that away.
God, as You show me my heart, I can see how I’ve allowed fears to own me. Help me to find myself in You. Remind me that my feelings, and the thoughts that spring from them, do not define me. Only You can define me. And You say that I am Your beloved, chosen child. I am precious in Your sight. And from the beginning of time, I have been Yours. Lord, be with me on this journey. Teach me how to embrace my belovedness daily. Open the eyes of my heart, and open my ears to hear Your voice, that I might embrace the truth of who I am: Beloved. Amen.
Questions to Ask Yourself:
- Do I know, in the depths of my heart, what it is to be beloved?
- What are the lies, beliefs, or thoughts that are bullying me?
- What is owning me today?
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We all have an inner voice that tells us we’re not worthy of love, especially God’s love. Our flaws, fears, and mistakes fill us with guilt and shame. But Sarah Kroger’s song and new devotional, Belovedness, is a reminder that it’s the heart of God to pursue and embrace His people — no matter our history, because He has reconciled us to Himself! Sarah’s book, Belovedness: Overcoming Your Inner Critic, is based on the lyrics of the song and includes devotions, selected Scriptures, prayers, and insights from Sarah that will walk you through the process of defeating your critical voice and accepting God’s unfailing love.
Silence your inner critic with the affirmation of God’s deep, sincere love for you.
We LOVE this special lyrical devotional, and we think you will too… so we’re giving away FIVE copies*!
To enter, just leave a comment answering one of Sarah’s questions above.
Then tune in to the (in)courage podcast this weekend to listen in on a conversation with Becky Keife and GMA Dove Award-nominated artist, songwriter, and worship leader Sarah Kroger. Their conversation will bless you for sure!
I am loved, through all fear.