Most of my shoulder patients will complain of pain in their upper trap muscle, whether from a chronic issue or surgery. As a physical therapist, I don’t just teach them how to stretch that muscle or massage it, I teach them to retrain it.
Our body is an amazing machine; it will do what the brain tells it to do. But it also likes to remain happy and avoid pain, so bigger muscles will take over the role of muscles that have been impacted by pain or injury.
In the case of the shoulder, when our shoulder muscles are injured and too weak to lift our arm and grab that cup of coffee, the upper trap muscle (whose role is to shrug the shoulder up) will come to our aid to get the job done. This is an involuntary compensation that happens to help our body function. But over time, it leads to dysfunctional patterns of movement, creating muscular imbalance which then leads to pain in other areas. Because the upper trap is attached to the neck, you will begin to notice tightness and pain with neck motion and sometimes even headaches. So instead of slapping a band-aid on the pain with some exercises, we have to retrain those overworked trapezius muscles to relax and rest, so they can return to doing their role, and then the shoulder muscles can perform their role and get strong.
The trap muscle is like most Christian women I know. We define ourselves as helpers — that has become our role and purpose.
I became a Christian at the age of thirteen and since then I have served in every ministry that has existed in my church. Like many new believers, I was taught by well-meaning church leaders that serving was the way to be a good Christian. So I lived a life of performance: doing everything, showing up consistently, carrying everyone’s burdens, and always saying yes!
People praised me for doing so much. I felt like an asset to the kingdom of God and it felt good to be important. But I was tired. I would still pray for more gifts and more opportunities so I could do more things. Finally last year, I hit burnout. I couldn’t do anything. I felt like my life had no purpose. It was there, in the quiet when my hands were idle and my ministry looked barren that God spoke, “Simi, I love you more than your ministry…do you love Me more than your ministry?”
The greatest lie The Church taught me is that my greatest blessing and purpose is in what I “get to do” for Jesus. But I finally understand the truth: my greatest blessing and purpose is that I get to be with Jesus.
Jesus didn’t die on the cross to make me a slave to striving and doing more. Yes, I have been given gifts that I can honor God with by serving my church and community, but I am a daughter and disciple, first. When my love is disordered, and I delight more in my doing than in my devotion to Jesus, then my work is merely compensating for a lack of relationship with Him. And like the upper trap, when I do the work that is beyond my capacity — ignoring my limitations — I will end up hurting myself and others around me.
Matthew 11:28 has been a source of comfort and has helped me heal from burnout: “Come to me, all of you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest” (CSB).
It is Jesus’ invitation to those of us who feel like the gifts we are blessed with have become a burden, slowly wearing us down. I love that Jesus sees us. He sees our limitations and honors our humanity. He doesn’t scold us but draws us in close, like a friend. And He doesn’t just offer us strength to keep going and keep doing more for Him. Like a good physical therapist, He invites us to retrain and renew our minds on our identity and purpose.
In His love, Jesus offers us rest as the remedy for burnout.
I love The Message paraphrase of these verses, “Walk with me and work with me — watch how I do it. Learn the unforced rhythms of grace…”
Jesus gives us an example and offers us a pattern to follow: “walk with me and work with me…” The order is important. We must first live aligned to the will of God and abide in Christ; then we do the work. In both the walking and the working, we are invited to a “with God” life. This is the place of deep contentment where striving and performance end and we can experience abundant life.
Friend, if you are constantly overworking and over-scheduling, you will be exhausted and lack joy. Don’t fall into the trap like the upper trap muscle thinking it’s all on you — you will run ahead of Jesus and your pace will kill your peace.
Consider this a gentle reminder to slow down and embrace the unforced rhythm of grace found in a “with God” life. And when you are with Him, you will know that He sees your humanity and honors it. Will you do the same for yourself?
I feel like you wrote this just for me! So much is going on in my brain right now, I don’t even know where to begin. So, than you for the reminder.
Praying for your heart and mind right now Madeline!
Thank you, Simi! This is good advice. I am retired, but I do a lot of volunteer work. Sometimes I over schedule or take on too many things. That is not what Christ requires or even wants. So I will try to do better at choosing fewer projects and activities. It’s not all up to me to accomplish!
Yes! We as women want to help and culture makes us focus on accomplishments…but Jesus calls us to abide in Him so that His fruit will overflow through us!
Simi,
I can relate to your devotion on so many levels. First of all, my love to serve in Jesus name. I think Jesus gets us as women and understands our need to serve and I need to rest. I can be a combination of both Mary and Martha from scripture.
On a second level, I could relate to your devotion because my background is also medical having practice pharmacy for 34 years. There are such lessons our bodies can teach us. Truly, Romans 20 says it best when it shares it all creation points to our Creator!
In this season of spring, where creation is blooming all around us, I send you joy,
Lisa Wilt
Same here…I often hear Jesus say to me, “Martha, Martha, Martha” lol Thanks Lisa! Joy to you as well! The seasons themselves remind us the importance of rest in order for growth and new life!
Dear Simi,
Your words are …my life story! I received Jesus at 7, and by 12 I went to work for HIM! I spent years pouring out, trapped in pleasing, proving, performing, and perfectionism. Until Jesus rescued me!
It has been a long, beautiful healing journey, and now I am sitting at HIS feet, “just being” in “withness,” and finally overflowing from this place. Thank you for affirming HIS work yet again with your words.
I see you are in Dallas! I am in the DFW Metroplex too! I would love to connect!
Leah
Wow! Yes, it’s good to be with the Father, not to just do work for Him.
I grew up in Dallas, now live in OKC- my husband is a pastor at a church in Norman. But you know, once a Texan always a Texan 🙂
So encouraging! I think I can get caught up in the trap of I’m not doing enough in my relationship with God or that I have do a certain amount of tasks or activities (reading, prayer, etc.) do make my relationship with the lord good. I have to remind myself that He just want us and a willingness to connect whether it is in the form of five minutes a day or more than that.
Amen! Glad it spoke to you and encouraged you!
Simi,
Lysa Terkeurst said it best in her book Your Best Yes “Saying yes to everyone and everything won’t make you wonder woman. It will make you a worn out woman with nothing left to give.” Jesus expects us to put margin in our daily lives. Give ourselves permission to rest simply be with Him. He even went away alone to be with God. Doing ministry work isn’t bad just make sure you’re doing it for the right reason.
Blessings 🙂
Yesss! So good! Jesus lived it out and invited us into it, so that we won’t live as slaves to our work or culture’s standards – but we would live as sons and daughters into abundant life!