Have you ever felt like everyone else was given the handbook to life, and somehow you missed that day of class?
We are bombarded with messages that acquiring stuff is the goal. Every TV ad, Instagram influencer, and sponsored TikTok video shows the same thing: This one thing will change your life. How many times in a movie do we see someone shopping, buying the right outfit, and suddenly all their problems are solved? (They get the job, the guy, and the admiration of everyone around them.) But we rarely see the beauty of not buying the _______ (fill in the blank).
We ride a rollercoaster of feeling less than, noticing a need, acquiring more, then suddenly feeling like we have too much stuff — most of which we barely use. We feel suffocated by our surroundings, purge and donate things, only to find ourselves starting the same process over again a couple of months later.
If this is you, friend, you are not alone.
Yes, some people are more naturally orderly than others. Often, we marry them or give birth to them — and drive each other lovingly crazy — but I digress. If you feel like everyone “gets it” except you, let me share a few truths:
- You are not broken.
Cluttery women are some of the kindest, most generous, and most creative souls I’ve ever met. If you needed a waffle iron, they’d be the first to offer it (if they can find it). - You are not lazy.
Just because you struggle with clutter doesn’t mean you don’t work hard. Most of the time, we can replace the label lazy with more accurate words like overwhelmed, overcommitted, or overstressed. When we use specific, nonjudgmental language, we can start addressing the real issues. - You are not alone.
I have a Facebook group of over ten thousand women all dealing with the same problems. They can be honest with each other because, for the most part, they don’t know each other in real life. The shame of clutter can keep us isolated and hopeless. But when we see others struggle and also begin to change, we realize we can do it too. Those are the first small steps to hope.
As the daughter of a hoarder, I never learned the skills I needed to care for my home, my space, or even myself in certain ways. But hope is the deep belief that with God’s help, we can change.
James 1:5 (NIV) says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
I love the deeper meaning of the word “wisdom” (Greek: sophia) that James uses. While sophia can mean God-given insight, it also encompasses general knowledge or skill. Yes, we always want God’s deeper insight, but we can also ask to be guided to the knowledge and skills we need.
Ask God to surround you with people, books, and practical instructions to make lasting changes in your life when it comes to dealing with clutter (or whatever you’re struggling with today). Also, ask Him to help you understand your own heart and worries — those insecurities that keep things in your home that ultimately steal your peace.
If you are currently struggling with clutter, can I gently invite you to consider why you keep it?
- Is it fear?
If you look at something you haven’t used in five years but don’t want to let it go because “I might need it someday,” that might be fear talking. Fear says, What if I can’t replace it? or What if I regret letting it go? - Is it guilt?
If you’re hanging on to a turtle statue you don’t really like because “But ______ gave it to me,” you may need to address guilt. One of my biggest decluttering challenges was learning to separate things from the people who gave them to me. I don’t need seventy knickknacks to show I love my aunt. I keep what’s precious and let go of what someone else would value more. - Is it shame?
If your first thought when deciding whether to donate a pair of shoes you’ve only worn once is “But I spent so much money on these,” shame could be at play. Shame over spending habits, an inner critic that calls you wasteful, or even a parent’s voice. Keeping those shoes in your closet won’t bring back the money you spent. Let those shoes become someone else’s favorite pair.
Friend, know this: God is ready to meet you in the middle of your clutter. He longs to replace your overwhelm with His wisdom and grace. As you step forward — one drawer, one stack, one closet at a time — remember that you are not alone, and you are not behind.
God’s mercies are new every morning, and that includes mercy for your messy spaces and overwhelmed heart.
Today, ask Him for wisdom — and trust that He will give it to you generously. Then take one small action step. Toss the expired coupons, donate the shoes you never wear, or let go of that turtle statue. Watch how God shows up in the everyday details, guiding you from chaos to peace — one faithful step at a time.
Thank you, Kathi for sharing your wisdom and encouraging us to use different language when we have to Declutter trust in God one day at a time.
Kathi, this is so encouraging. “Wisdom not just the God given insight but the knowledge & skill needed.” My struggle is rooted in working at home when I’m not on the clock I want to go play with my friends outside. I’m faithful to prep meals, Bible study & take the trash & recycle out each week but the weekly dusting & vacuuming I grew up with, not so much. Praying for Him to show me balance in work/study/play/chores.
Thank you so much for the insight and Bible based self-talk. Often we rely on ourselves or “experts” to fix worldly problems. It is wonderful to be reminded that His hand is in everything and He can guide us through our worst messes.
Thank you, Kathi!
A lot of these things resonate with me. Those reasons for holding onto stuff sound very familiar. I will be checking out your Facebook group!
Kathy – thank you so much for this devotion! I so needed it today. I’m glad you addressed the fear, guilt and shame issues because I have difficulty deciding why I keep things and this addressed it so beautifully. I am in the process of downsizing and sometimes it’s such a struggle to let things go. Thank you for your insights and encouragement!
Dear Kathi, WOW, you must have been talking to me in my 1 bedroom apartment. You can check every thing you mentioned off the to-do list. I have moved in the last 3 years, once out of a very large 4 bedroom home of 40 years, 2nd – to a 2 bedroom apartment – to a one bedroom apartment. When we sold the house I donated thousands of dollars to the homeless and Thrift Stores. We don’t understand how much we collect in 40 years. Obviously too much for a one or even two bedroom apartment. As I read your devotional, Kathi, I realized that while I am not a hoarder but a collector of things I thought we would need. Well, when trying to make that last move I became depressed as I had to let go of many of the cherished things I had. Your scriptures and advice also reminded me that I need to do some things differently. I have started to throw things out that I haven’t even looked at in a long time. The thought came to my mind that why am I keeping all this “Stuff” when I know I won’t use them, but even before I got your devotional, I thought, like you said, “but I spent all that money on those shoes”. Well, living now in a Senior Independent Living Facility with 100 people, I have started to put things in a room we have and said, “Free, never used or worn”. Next day I looked and they were gone so someone got a good deal. Thank you Kathi so I will continue to do this and re-read your devotion this afternoon after I do what I have to do. This was really an eye opener to me, but at 77 years old, you do tend to buy things just to make yourself feel better. I love all of your devotions. All of your women in the community are so wise and so helpful to those of us who have really serious problems, like I do. Please have a Blessed Day and I send my prayers to you for helping me so much. Love to you……………Betsy Basile
So, so, so good, Kathi! Thank you!!
Kathi,
I love how lovingly you approach the person who struggles with clutter!
Sending you Spring Joy,
Lisa Wilt
Thank you for this devotion. I so connect with what you are saying. “Sometimes it felt like I wasn’t purging my home, I was purging my soul”. All the stuff had become an emotional burden (baggage). I still struggle with “stuff”, but God gives me grace and I take one day at a time, one step at a time.
What a timely message. I’ve been busy between my full time secular job and ministry job, and my home’s gotten cluttered again. I was just online looking for a decluttering checklist and calendar. I subscribe to incourage emails, and this just happens to be today’s article. God is good.