Have you ever felt like everyone else was given the handbook to life, and somehow you missed that day of class?
We are bombarded with messages that acquiring stuff is the goal. Every TV ad, Instagram influencer, and sponsored TikTok video shows the same thing: This one thing will change your life. How many times in a movie do we see someone shopping, buying the right outfit, and suddenly all their problems are solved? (They get the job, the guy, and the admiration of everyone around them.) But we rarely see the beauty of not buying the _______ (fill in the blank).
We ride a rollercoaster of feeling less than, noticing a need, acquiring more, then suddenly feeling like we have too much stuff — most of which we barely use. We feel suffocated by our surroundings, purge and donate things, only to find ourselves starting the same process over again a couple of months later.
If this is you, friend, you are not alone.
Yes, some people are more naturally orderly than others. Often, we marry them or give birth to them — and drive each other lovingly crazy — but I digress. If you feel like everyone “gets it” except you, let me share a few truths:
- You are not broken.
Cluttery women are some of the kindest, most generous, and most creative souls I’ve ever met. If you needed a waffle iron, they’d be the first to offer it (if they can find it). - You are not lazy.
Just because you struggle with clutter doesn’t mean you don’t work hard. Most of the time, we can replace the label lazy with more accurate words like overwhelmed, overcommitted, or overstressed. When we use specific, nonjudgmental language, we can start addressing the real issues. - You are not alone.
I have a Facebook group of over ten thousand women all dealing with the same problems. They can be honest with each other because, for the most part, they don’t know each other in real life. The shame of clutter can keep us isolated and hopeless. But when we see others struggle and also begin to change, we realize we can do it too. Those are the first small steps to hope.
As the daughter of a hoarder, I never learned the skills I needed to care for my home, my space, or even myself in certain ways. But hope is the deep belief that with God’s help, we can change.
James 1:5 (NIV) says, “If any of you lacks wisdom, you should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to you.”
I love the deeper meaning of the word “wisdom” (Greek: sophia) that James uses. While sophia can mean God-given insight, it also encompasses general knowledge or skill. Yes, we always want God’s deeper insight, but we can also ask to be guided to the knowledge and skills we need.
Ask God to surround you with people, books, and practical instructions to make lasting changes in your life when it comes to dealing with clutter (or whatever you’re struggling with today). Also, ask Him to help you understand your own heart and worries — those insecurities that keep things in your home that ultimately steal your peace.
If you are currently struggling with clutter, can I gently invite you to consider why you keep it?
- Is it fear?
If you look at something you haven’t used in five years but don’t want to let it go because “I might need it someday,” that might be fear talking. Fear says, What if I can’t replace it? or What if I regret letting it go? - Is it guilt?
If you’re hanging on to a turtle statue you don’t really like because “But ______ gave it to me,” you may need to address guilt. One of my biggest decluttering challenges was learning to separate things from the people who gave them to me. I don’t need seventy knickknacks to show I love my aunt. I keep what’s precious and let go of what someone else would value more. - Is it shame?
If your first thought when deciding whether to donate a pair of shoes you’ve only worn once is “But I spent so much money on these,” shame could be at play. Shame over spending habits, an inner critic that calls you wasteful, or even a parent’s voice. Keeping those shoes in your closet won’t bring back the money you spent. Let those shoes become someone else’s favorite pair.
Friend, know this: God is ready to meet you in the middle of your clutter. He longs to replace your overwhelm with His wisdom and grace. As you step forward — one drawer, one stack, one closet at a time — remember that you are not alone, and you are not behind.
God’s mercies are new every morning, and that includes mercy for your messy spaces and overwhelmed heart.
Today, ask Him for wisdom — and trust that He will give it to you generously. Then take one small action step. Toss the expired coupons, donate the shoes you never wear, or let go of that turtle statue. Watch how God shows up in the everyday details, guiding you from chaos to peace — one faithful step at a time.
Thank you, Kathi for sharing your wisdom and encouraging us to use different language when we have to Declutter trust in God one day at a time.
Kathi, this is so encouraging. “Wisdom not just the God given insight but the knowledge & skill needed.” My struggle is rooted in working at home when I’m not on the clock I want to go play with my friends outside. I’m faithful to prep meals, Bible study & take the trash & recycle out each week but the weekly dusting & vacuuming I grew up with, not so much. Praying for Him to show me balance in work/study/play/chores.
Thank you so much for the insight and Bible based self-talk. Often we rely on ourselves or “experts” to fix worldly problems. It is wonderful to be reminded that His hand is in everything and He can guide us through our worst messes.
Thank you, Kathi!
A lot of these things resonate with me. Those reasons for holding onto stuff sound very familiar. I will be checking out your Facebook group!
Kathy – thank you so much for this devotion! I so needed it today. I’m glad you addressed the fear, guilt and shame issues because I have difficulty deciding why I keep things and this addressed it so beautifully. I am in the process of downsizing and sometimes it’s such a struggle to let things go. Thank you for your insights and encouragement!