It didn’t matter how hard I tried to forget — the dates were seared in my memory. I can’t remember what I had for dinner last night, but I could remember with shocking clarity what took place over a February weekend eight years ago.
I guess that’s the thing with pain. It can embed itself right into you. Pain isn’t something you can just slip off like the straps of a backpack. Pain can feel more like it’s been sewn into your very skin.
Each February, I brace myself for a specific weekend. It’s the weekend that falls between Valentine’s Day and, in Ontario, Canada, a holiday known as Family Day. The holidays help mark it for me, and I think that’s why it’s so easy to remember and so hard to forget.
Maybe you have a date like this too. Maybe for you it’s the day of the diagnosis or the betrayal. You can fill in the blank. But it can seem like no matter how hard you try to forget, each year the date comes around again, and you’re reminded.
I hated this weekend on the calendar. Every year I wanted to skip it, move past it, or sleep my way through it.
But this year, something changed.
I hadn’t talked about the looming date with anyone except Jesus. I knew it was coming (I always knew it was coming), and I had spent time in prayer throughout the weeks leading up to it, asking God to help me move through it. I made a decision to stay busy that weekend, thinking I could maybe keep myself distracted.
It was fine enough. The distractions felt bearable.
And then God intervened in a way I’ll never forget. The weekend concluded with going out for dinner with my boyfriend and parents. And on the way to the restaurant, the man I love more than anything in the world told me something: he had gone to my parents earlier that day and asked for their blessing to marry me.
He could’ve chosen any date on the calendar for that conversation. Unbeknownst to him, my boyfriend (now fiancé) chose to ask for a blessing on the date I’d always despised.
At that very moment, the date I had hated for eight years was instantly rewritten. It didn’t erase all of the pain, but God was rewriting a much better story. It was no longer my past darkness that owned that weekend on the calendar. Now that date proclaimed the goodness God has in store for my future.
The prophet Isaiah exclaims these beautiful words from God in Scripture:
“Forget the former things;
do not dwell on the past.
See, I am doing a new thing!
Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?
I am making a way in the wilderness
and streams in the wasteland.”
Isaiah 43:18-19 NIV
And we can’t forget the promise of Jesus in the very last book of the Bible. It’s one of my favourite verses:
He who was seated on the throne said, “I am making everything new!” Then he said, “Write this down, for these words are trustworthy and true.”
Revelation 21:5 NIV
God is making all things new. We don’t have to wait until eternity to see the newness God brings. There are things in your life, right now, that God is in the process of redeeming. There are dates on the calendar that God wants to rewrite. There are better stories you are going to get to tell.
I’m reminded each spring how God brings new life from what is seemingly dead and desolate. This weekend, we’ll remember how God resurrected Jesus from the grave. God makes all things new. The promise in Scripture isn’t just some things. The promise is all things. The promise is everything.
Our God is a God of resurrection and redemption and making every single thing new. Even that date on the calendar you’ve been dreading.
Next year, that February weekend will be marked with a brand new, beautiful memory: the man I love asking for a blessing to marry me. I never could have fathomed it.
God is making all things new… all things. Even what you never thought He could.
Aliza, this story gave me chills! How good and kind and long suffering our Jesus is. Praising God for His redemptive work in your life—and in all of ours.
Aliza I needed this so much. To be reminded that God is making all things new in my life that I do need made new. I think they will never change I also think to myself why am I the one who walks into the mess. That no one will clean up properly when they saw it they just left it. Then I end up doing it. As I don’t like to see it dirty especially for this Elderly person who makes the mess they don’t know the do and they can’t tidy it up. Others that help this Elderly person could do more. Like the microwave still dirty after heating this Elderly persons tea up in it for them. I say to myself as I do this Elderly persons home help Monday to Friday to make the house nice a clean for them. But the next day if they the other people heating up this Elderly persons tea in the microwave. Sometime don’t clean it up after themselves. Then the next day it harder to get of. I am left to clean it. Not that I mind cleaning it but what gets to me is they left it dirty after using it. Then the next day I left cleaning it and it harder to get of. I could scream and other things they say oh Dawn will do or they just say oh it ok. I can’t do that I have to clean it and leave nice and tidy for the Elderly person. I say to myself why can’t they just tidy it up no matter if they made the mess or the Elderly person. Not leave just to basic for this Elderly person and chatting to them and keeping them company making sure they are ok. I do that too as well as tidying there home. I do for the Love of the Lord and the Elderly person. Even though the Elderly person not saved. I do get cross but let them know it. As it very simple to clean the microwave if dirty after using it not leave it. I told them nicely to clean it if dirty as the next day it harder to clean. They sometimes listen and other times don’t and just leave it. Plus with other things too. So thank you for this devotion today I needed it. As you say Aliza God is making all things knew. In this situation in my life even if I can’t see it now. But a song has come into my life as wrote this it by Don Moen you get it on YouTube it is “God will make a way” some of the words are in it. God will make a way were there seams to be no way rivers in the desert words like this and more in the song. I have to believe that. Also what you wrote in today devotion. Thank you again. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little Enniskillen Co.Fermanagh N.Ireland. keep you all incourage in prayer xx
Aliza, another perfectly timed encouragement! The Isaiah verses coupled with Revelation is exactly what my husband needed to hear today at his overly stressful job. Thank you for sharing. Best wishes on your engagement & congratulations to you beau ~ now fiancé! Blessings (((0)))
For some reason, yesterday’s post never came and neither did today’s. So, because the posts have become such an important part of my day, I decided to be proactive and am delighted I did. I had one of those days- March 19. Growing up in a traditional Sicilian family, the feast of St. Joseph meant special food and gathering with family. In 2018, on that very day, my husband died by suicide. I was the one who found him. Needless to say it has been a struggle the last few years but God has gotten me through it. This year, the 7th anniversary, things changed. There was no mood swings the weeks before the date; no looking to hide; no shutting myself off. Instead, I got to spend the day with a close friend and celebrated his life. My friend and I drove up the coast to a town my husband loved (I live in Maine); ate lunch looking at the ocean; attempted to go up the mountain (road was closed- still too much snow) and took back the day. Instead of dread, it can be of remembrance of good days. My dear friend and I plan to make this a yearly event. I believe this was God driven. My relationships with God has deepened. I let God lead me to where I needed to be. Thank you I for sharing your story.
I’m praying that my Lord and Savior will make something beautiful out of this brokenness in our family. I choose to put my trust in my Shepherd, the Lord Jesus Christ.
Hi Aliza,
Congratulations on your engagement! Glad to hear that God redeemed something in your life making it a beautiful new memory!
May Jesus walk with with you every day of this new relationship, bringing Him glory.
Shalom, Sandy
Aliza,
First off, congratulations on your engagement. How beautiful it is and sweet too. I’m glad that now, though you may feel little twinges, you have a good memory.
Mine is when we got married in 2001. You see, Steve and I got married on September 22, 2001, just 11 days after 9/11. Those interceding 11 days were so hard, so fraught with emotion, fear, and worry. Each year as we have our anniversary, I find it difficult to untie from 9/11. It’s getting a little easier after 23 years, but it’s still difficult.
Blessings on you and your fiance as you prepare for marriage.