Shutting the car door with my foot, I threw my laundry bag over one shoulder and my computer bag over the other. I placed my makeup bag on top of the pizza box and headed towards my apartment building. Here are two words you could not use to describe me at this moment: wise and graceful.

I felt like a penguin waddling through the cold suburbs of Chicago. As I approached my apartment building, I passed an older woman who was carrying a box that was four times the size of her.

Relatable, I thought.

She said hello and trailed behind me as we both walked to the entrance. I held the door open and turned to let her pass through when I realized my mistake. She was piling all of her boxes on a bench next to the door, but wasn’t entering the building yet.

“Oh, thank you,” she smiled. “I should be getting the door for you.”

“No worries!” We both laughed and went our separate ways.

As I began walking up the stairs, my laundry bag slid down my arm. Just then, an urgent thought stole my attention. Go back and help her. Even still, I kept walking and moving away from the woman. The pizza box I was carrying tilted and I sucked in a deep breath as I tried to rebalance. Felicia, go back. My stomach growled with hunger. Help her. I stopped. I knew it was God. But I had more important things to do. Like eating BBQ chicken pizza and watching Netflix. Not to mention, putting all of this stuff down.

A picture flashed through my mind: I was standing in a kitchen — the roof had been ripped off and a heavy rain struck my face. The foundation was sinking. I cried out for help before a flood ripped through the doors and overtook me.

Then it clicked.

You know the story in the Bible about the wise and foolish builders? The one where a wise man builds his house with a foundation on rock. While the other man builds his house on the ground without a foundation? When a flood roars through the land, the house built on rock is not shaken, but the other house collapses. Right before Jesus shares this imagery, he says, “Why do you call me, ‘Lord, Lord,’ and do not do what I say? As for everyone who comes to me and hears my words and puts them into practice, I will show you what they are like” (Luke 6:46-47 NIV).

Will I choose to obey? Will I listen to the Holy Spirit? Will I sacrifice my own conveniences in order to show the love of God to someone else? My pizza will still taste good if I eat it when it’s cold, right? Convicted, I turned around and wobbled downstairs.

“Hey!” I gave my friendliest smile, as the woman walked my way with more boxes. “Do you want help carrying those?”

 “Oh! That’s so kind. That’s so kind of you,” she repeated, like she couldn’t believe it.

“I’m happy to help,” I offered.

“These boxes are actually filled with things that I haven’t been able to sell. I’m leaving them here for now because I need to drive back to my condo to pick up a few more things. It’s just down the street. But I should be fine on my own. Thank you so much.”

“Of course! Are you just moving in?”

Tears welled up in her eyes. A brief moment of silence fell over the conversation. Then, she bravely lifted her head and told me, a complete stranger, “I’m getting a divorce.”

My heart broke for her.

“I’m sorry,” she sniffled. “Grief is a weird thing. Some days are harder than others. And today was really hard.”

I looked at this stranger and felt so much compassion for her. I wanted to tell her how loved she is. How brave she is for being vulnerable. How safe it is to break down, to hurt, and to not hold it all together. How strong she is for still standing. How her story is still being written and how, oftentimes, the deepest beauty unfolds from our deepest pain.

“I’m so sorry. I just want to give you a hug. Is that okay?” I asked. 

She laughed and nodded. We embraced and I gave her the warmest hug I could.  

I remembered the urgent thought that had popped into my head earlier: Go back and help her. She didn’t need help carrying boxes. She needed help carrying the weight of her pain. She needed to feel the love of God.

We pulled apart from each other, exchanged names, and continued to chat. I smiled, thinking about how the Holy Spirit prompted me to act in faith. But it wasn’t about me. The world doesn’t need more kind people. I mean, sure, it would help. But what the world really needs is to know the kindness of God.

Next time you hear that small whisper from the Holy Spirit to act in obedience, move. Stop entertaining the doubt and step out in faith. I promise — witnessing God’s love settle over someone is a million times better than warm BBQ chicken pizza.

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