“Rise during the night and cry out.
Pour out your hearts like water to the Lord.”
Lamentations 2:19 NLT
Most days after school, I spent fifteen minutes writing notes to God. I think I was twelve or thirteen. I didn’t even call myself a Christian then. But every afternoon, I peeled open a small, light-blue journal and begged God for friends.
There was a group of girls who gave themselves a special name, and being part of their group was the hope of every junior high girl I knew. So I’d sit down and scribble my heart out to God: God, please let me be invited into this group. When I see so-and-so after fifth period, please let her ask me to join.
Day after day after day.
Finally, at some point, I gave up. I gave up on hoping to be invited in and on whether or not God cared. What I didn’t realize is that before I gave up, I’d been building a little habit.
Years later, it was almost instinctual for me to open up a journal and write my heart out. The God I wondered about years before—the One I thought didn’t care and didn’t answer me, the One I was pouring my heart out to — was the One I now knew. And I already knew how to talk to Him! Throughout those years of honesty and unanswered prayers, I was building a posture I had no idea I would come back to like a muscle with memory.
Think about your most honest journal entry. What if you addressed it to God?
God wants our honest feelings. Our emotions and true thoughts aren’t too much. They aren’t a liability; they are a pathway to intimacy and true growth.
The anxiety and worries that wake us in the night have a welcome place to go. The contents of our hearts do not have to stay inside and hidden. What would you say to God if you were twelve or thirteen again? What would you say if you knew God’s ears and heart were wide, wide open?
And now, my middle of the night anxiety is really high. Thank you for reminding me I only need to pray my heart to God and He will help and hold me. He’s there for me!
Thanks be to God.
Tasha,
Lately I find myself praying when I awaken at night. Use that time to talk with Him about friends & family. Thank Jesus for answered prayers & the many blessings He’s given me.
Blessings 🙂
Thank you Jesus for all you have done! Thank you Jesus for what you are doing! Thank you Jesus for what you will do! I’m grateful for your mercies. Strengthen me where I am weak. Heal and protect my mom, brothers, son, daughter in love, family members, friends, and neighbors. Lord, I’m a sinner saved by grace. Create in me a clean heart and renew in me the right spirit. These blessings I ask in Jesus name. Amen
Tasha,
Thank you for sharing. What a healthy habit journaling is!
I’ll share in on Twitter…Sending you New Year joy,
Lisa Wilt
Thank you for sharing Tasha
I plan to put into practice what you’ve taught me here.
Bless you sister
P.S. I hope you realize you now belong to an even bigger, better
group of girls; we’re called “sisters”! 😉
Dear Tasha…..Your devotion was very uplifting today. I must say that I am older than most of you at 77 years old. I have had probably more life experiences, but honestly, in my teen years, I was not accepted into a group that I so dearly wanted to join. I didn’t write it down, but I prayed and prayed. Nothing happened and I had days that I cried; however as I grew older and many different jobs where God and my Holy Spirit guided me to observe everything around me. I did not understand at the time, but some years later and some years older, I began to understand as I searched to find my “Dream Job”. At 39 years old, after 6 different jobs before this, a God-Wink came upon me and without boring you with the details, I was offered this job that I was sure was “The One” and it was, but now I realized what God meant about observation as in the interviews that I went thru before the offer, I seemed to have the “right” answers to all questions. I started journaling then and found that it not only helped me, but also made me forget what I was so upset by the things in junior and senior high schools that never happened. My Holy Spirit and God were preparing me for that job and that is why I got it for 35 years of service and very much more happy and so glad I listened to them. Sometimes God works in unusual ways. You can’t expect that you immediately get what you asked for from Him, but also you need to really listen and know that He has a plan. Praying in the middle of the night tells you many things, but you must listen and do what God has said. I still follow this advice He gave me so many years ago. I now, fight a very serious and difficult situation that I remembered to apply praying, listening and writing in my journal to see how it follows to the solution. It hasn’t happened yet, but I am being patient as I know it will come. Thank you Tasha for your very wise words and on a Sunday, it couldn’t be better. I am leaving for church now, but I send you my prayers and best wishes for a Happy New Year. In the world and our country, it has not started too well. I pray that all these people that have lost everything in this raw weather will rise again from it. Love you………….Betsy
This is what I would say to God this morning: Holy God, fear is threatening to overtake me again. Much like my teenage self, I realize most of my sinful patterns come from wanting to belong, to be known, to be seen, to be cared about and not forgotten. I have been through so much in my life and do not have many long-term friendships. I think I’ve become hopeless and tired of trying. I’m sorry that I’ve given into hopelessness because of the abandonment, loss and betrayal that I’ve endured. I’m tired and afraid of attending church because it’s always me giving, me asking, me fixing, me filling in and they are Your people and it’s good to do that, I know. But who remembers me? Do you? Do you see me? Do you hear me? Do you care? I’m so tired and afraid because I hate that empty feeling that I feel when I go into a packed church or restaurant or business or grocery store and I see the flurry of people yet feel invisible and though I’m still kind, patient and still smile, I wonder internally is all you have to give me is illness? I know this may sound strange to others but God You know exactly what I mean. Is today the day to dare to start again? Try again? Or should I stay sheltered giving into hopelessness and fear? Where’s the fearless, outgoing, fun loving women that I once was? Is she dead because of sin or was it good to “mortify my flesh” and become someone else? God, You made me and I trust that what You made in me is good, but who or what exactly does that look like?!?!
I can so relate! I too, started writing letters to God when I was very young. We moved a lot and that meant not getting to keep my friends very long…so my constant companion and best friend became God. Even now at age 69, “my best fun time” (a phrase I stole from my precious great nephew, age 4) is still pouring out my heart to my BEST AND ALWAYS PRESENT FRIEND, GOD, in my journal!
We serve an Awesome God! Praise His Holy Name!!