The past two years have brought with them the greatest sorrow of my adult life. Cruel, rare, and unfamiliar diagnoses became the story my loved ones are living. Glioblastoma, Li-Fraumeni Syndrome, peripheral nerve sheath tumor, breast cancer… Really, God?
It’s all so much for one family to bear.
When I was younger, and not yet tested to this extreme, my husband and I would try to put ourselves in the shoes of friends or family when trial or tragedy befell them. We’d ask each other, “How would I want to respond if something like ‘this’ happened to me?” We’d consider the circumstances in light of our faith, and imagine what a God-glorifying response might look like. Talking through real-life scenarios allowed us to think about and plan how we’d hope to react to a given situation.
Time has revealed that what is easy in theory, isn’t always so easy in practice.
To be honest, I’ve been disappointed in my reactions to our family’s hard circumstances. I’m not doing a great job of practicing what I profess. Rather than remembering the Good News of the gospel, I’ve focused on feeling hopeless and helpless because there’s so little I can do. Prayer doesn’t seem like enough.
In recent years, I’ve had dear friends walking out their own stories of grief and trauma, and they manage to be “all glory to God” in the midst of their trials. Not surface-level Pollyanna-ism, but earnest, hard-fought-for, beautiful responses to the kind of stuff no one should have to experience. Their inspiring responses have pointed me to Jesus in a way that makes me want more of Him.
It is also then that condemnation often creeps in. A convincing and faith-rattling tool of the devil, condemnation tempts me to compare myself to those who respond “better” than me. When that happens, I’m putty in Shame’s hands.
Having followed Jesus most of my life, I’m aware of what the Bible teaches about hardship. (Like how James says we should consider it all joy when we face all kinds of trials because it’s the path to God’s perfecting work in us.) But there’s an angry, grief-informed stubbornness to my heart these days. Too often I refuse to surrender to God’s plans and instead lean deeper into my heartache.
How can I trust in God’s goodness and believe His promises amidst the pain and suffering all around me? In moments of overwhelming grief, I wonder how anyone can.
The answer, at least in part, lies within my question: I can’t trust God’s goodness or believe His promises on my own. I don’t have the strength to manufacture hope or faith in the face of overwhelming grief. That’s the point. Belief, hope, and trust are not things I can produce — they are gifts of grace given by the Holy Spirit. If I could conjure them myself, why would I need God at all?
There’s freedom in understanding you can’t do what you weren’t made to do in the first place. My inability to “just believe” reveals my deep need for the Spirit to do in me what I cannot do on my own.
Jesus told us He would send a Helper (John 14:16-17, 25-26 ESV) who:
- would be with us forever
- is the Spirit of truth
- dwells with us
- is in us
- is sent by God
- teaches us all things
- reminds us what Jesus says
What a gift! The Holy Spirit is God’s active presence in our lives, the supernatural power that fuels belief and hope and trust in the first place.
Last month, I attended an evening of worship with friends, and the theme was Jesus – The Light of the World. The Holy Spirit revealed something powerful to me about the sad and hard season in which I find myself, through the wisdom of Katherine Wolf: “When the feeling of hope failed me, the habit and practice of hope carried me.” Light bulb moment.
When the feeling of hope failed me, the habit and practice of hope carried me….
Maybe for the first time, I recognized how my feelings were undermining my faith. Pain demands attention, and when I’m preoccupied with the circumstances that cause pain, I take my eyes off Jesus. How can you see God when you’re focusing on something else? It had never occurred to me to develop a habit of hope.
We’re nine days into a new year. Maybe you aren’t a resolution setter or yours are already unset (wink), but today is as good a time as any to establish a habit — to practice hope, belief, and trust in the goodness of God. For me, that looks like compiling a list of Scriptures that speak to these things and literally writing out Practice Hope, Practice Belief, Practice Trust on sticky notes attached to my computer.
If we’re consistent with our practices, spiritual muscle memory will carry us when trials and tragedies knock on our door and feelings overwhelm us. Practicing elements of our faith won’t make things perfect, but cultivating habits can train our hearts to make room for the Holy Spirit.
And, while we may not get the miracle or change in circumstances for which we’re praying, God will be changing us to hope, believe, and trust in Him. Our reactions to life’s sorrows will be different as a result. The active presence of God in our lives is the one thing that can change everything.
Including me and you.
Leave a Comment
Robin, thank you. I am so grateful for the truth, grace and hope in your words today.
<3
OH ROBIN. I was at the Grove this past December when Katherine spoke and as soon as I read those words, I knew that God was echoing them into my heart again. And while my “things” are not your “things”, I knew exactly how you were feeling in this devotional. Thank you for reminding me of the power of God to change me through His presence.
Wasn’t it a compelling night of worship, Paige?? I love it when God confirms something in our lives in multiple places. Godwinks 😉 🙂
How does one “practice” Hope? Faith?
Hey Susan,
Well…I’m still figuring that out. I’ve offered a few suggestions in this devo, but it helps me to think about what those things are (hope/faith), and then talk to God about them. For instance, I’ve often heard hope defined as “confident expectation” (in contrast to wishful thinking), and I spend time considering where in Scripture we see evidences of hope displayed. What Jesus says he’ll do, he does; what God has promised, he delivers. A lot of my faith is evidenced in God’s work in my past; when I can’t see him in my present and I feel hopeless in aspects of my future, I remind myself where I’ve seen him before. I’m praying for you that the Holy Spirit will give you clarity about what practicing hope, faith, etc. means for you. xo
So good. Thank you for this encouragement as I walk through my own season of hard. It seems like so many of us are waiting there. I will lean into the Spirit and trust Him to give me hope and peace.
Gail,
That’s about all we can do, isn’t it? I’m so sorry that you’re walking out a season of difficulty, but thankful you’re looking to God for the answers.
I’ve been up for hours now in the middle of the night asking the Lord to forgive my response to our current unbelievable circumstances which have completely changed our day to day lives. And then I read your post right now 430 am which is exactly what I’m living! I know all the correct answers and yet I too struggle….wrestle with hopelessness. Thank you for sharing your heart. It has encouraged me and blessed me!!!
I’m praying for you right now, Shay. And sending you virtual hugs xoxo.
Robin, this touched me deeply & practically this morning! Thank you for sharing! Stacking up the stones of remembrances of God’s kindness & goodness in the past & rehearsing the truth that God is the same yesterday, today & tomorrow is one of my tools for cultivating the practices of my faith. Thanks for your list of tools as well. Blessings (((0)))
Ruth,
Yes! “Stacking up the stones of remembrances of God’s kindness & goodness in the past & rehearsing the truth that God is the same yesterday, today & tomorrow” is such a wonderful way of expressing “practice.”
My family too has gone through lots of health issues and hard life changing diagnosis. It has made me realize hope and feeling lost can co-exist. Yes God is our hope yet I know God understands when we are so tired and overwhelmed. I’ve stopped beating myself up when the hard days get me down and give myself grace to process my feelings.
Maura,
It has been so helpful for me to understand that diametrically opposed feelings can co-exist; I’m SO glad you mentioned that here! My sister told me I was too hard on my self when she read this devo (I ran it by her before sharing it here), reminding me of what you said: it’s so important to give ourselves grace!! Thank you for sharing your thoughts.
Robin, thank you for such an inspiring, insightful and honest article. I’m sorry to hear of your situation. I too am dealing with my parents decline which along with my siblings we are a full time caregivers. It is such a difficult journey so far…mostly emotional and spiritual. Developing a habit of hope is an excellent way to deal with day to day sadness and discouragement. Thank you so much for sharing your journey. Blessings,
Dear Robin…………..I feel your pain for what you were or are going through.This was a perfect devotion for me today; however, mine has to do with emotional pain and as I have in the past suffered from 4 very serious and rare kinds of surgery, some that were botched and caused a real threat to my actual survival. So I also know what physical pain is and to be honest with you Robin, I find that the emotional pain can be worse than the physical. My Holy Spirit has always guide me through these situations and I never did lose faith, but and it is a BIG BUT, I have prayed so much that at times I feel like I am prayed out. Don’t know if this is normal, but the one thing that I still am hoping that something can be done about, has not happened and due to being alone, I have only you the (in)courage women to talk to and who always somehow in your words have taught me that HOPE is a very key to God’s timeline. It has been 6 years now and honestly, I know that God has his own timeline, but some days I fear that somehow I will never see my now 14 year old grandson again as I am 77 years old and we don’t know when our time comes. I don’t care about money or even my son who has betrayed me so many times, he can’t break my heart anymore than it already is. My grandson, Carter is and has always been the love of my life. My son and his wife have been trying to brainwash him towards against me. I can’t even explain all the things they have done to do this. Of course, I cannot connect with Carter, so I don’t know if he believes them or not. So HOPE is the only real palpable thing I have to hold onto along with God, Jesus, my wonderful Holy Spirit and of course, you (in)courage women. Thank you for your words, Robin and I have already started to take a new perspective on this problem and hope that my time doesn’t come before I get to see or hear from my grandson. I send my prayers and love to you Robin as you have already lifted me up today. What a way to begin. My God Bless all of you……………………Betsy Basile
Oh Robin, big hug to you! Your posts are always so real and touching, this one even more so (if it’s even possible). I don’t even know how to express myself further (I am certainly not a writer lol), I just know that when I read this (and pretty much anything you write), I feel it deep down in my soul. Things are finally settling down a bit for me after 6 years of constant traumatic events, and I know I couldn’t have gotten through it without God, and through him, you wonderful people at (in)courage. Thank you so much for this, and all of your words of real life experience. I don’t have a gift like yours, but please accept my grateful heart, and a big hug, and my prayers for things to settle down a bit for you too. Thank you, thank you, thank you!!
Robin, I hope you will give yourself grace, as you grow through your experiences. You know God has grace for you. I’m sure those people you admire so much had their moments of doubt, too. None of us can escape our human-nous.
I hope things turn around soon. God is good!
Robin,
I’m so sorry your family is faces such challenges and will pray. I understand GBM (brain cancer) as a dear family member is currently in the last stages. I pray for her 5x daily and have found setting my phone alarm is a great reminder to lift her up.
Sending you New Year hope in Jesus,
lisa wilt
I am in The rocking boat with you dear sister.. and this year God has given me the Word.. ANCHOR along with the verse Hebrews 6:19…” we have this Hope as an Anchor for the soul , steadfast and secure” .. we keep our eyes looking upward unto Jesus .✝️