I’m not sure what happened.

In my memory, the plate barely touched the countertop when it broke into pieces. I wasn’t banging around in anger, and I wasn’t being careless — but I was moving quickly. Emptying the dishwasher is my kids’ chore and I can only convince myself to do it if I race against the clock (or, in this case, the microwave timer).

So there I was, moving at a completely reasonable speed with a reasonable amount of care, but when I set a plate on the counter, it shattered.

Immediately I stopped and stared at the pieces of pottery in front of me. It was a dish we’d registered for when my husband and I got married — 25 years ago. Fine, it wasn’t a new plate. It had been used hundreds of times over its lifetime. Perhaps it was just worn out? (Do plates get worn out?)

I’m not sure why that plate was primed to break, but it was. It was fragile for some reason I couldn’t see, and with just the slightest bump on the hard counter, that plate fell apart.

Maybe you can relate? Yes, to the plate — the one that seemed just fine until it wasn’t.

I’ve certainly been the plate before. Many times, if I’m honest. I’m going along, living a normal day, and then one small bump in the road rips my “everything’s fine” mask off my face and ruins my entire day. One inconvenience, perceived slight, or even a sincere question, and I’m falling apart, unsure of what happened or how I got to this shattered state.

Perhaps for you it looks like holding it together through a stressful morning and then losing your mind when your sweater catches on the doorknob. Or staying calm all day long when customers or coworkers try your patience, only to yell at the people you truly care for at home. Or it’s facing unprecedented time after unprecedented time with faith and fortitude, forging ahead no matter what the world throws at you until the day a health crisis stops you in your tracks and your body forces you to deal with all the things you’ve ignored or pretended to handle.

So, what do we do about this?

While I can’t tell you how to stop feeling like the plate sometimes, there’s something important we can learn from it. When life’s bumps cause us to break, we don’t have to stay shattered. Instead of pushing our feelings aside or pretending everything is fine, we can acknowledge the cracks and invite God into the mess. He sees every fragile moment, and He’s never surprised or unprepared to hold us together again.

Here’s what that broken plate is teaching me:

When we find ourselves crying “for no reason” or falling apart without notice or provocation, it’s time to stop. Take a moment and ask yourself what’s actually behind the emotion pouring out. Try asking, “What am I actually upset about right now?” and then, if you can, go deeper and ask, “Why does that upset me?”

Then, before you move on, clean up the mess. When we’re talking about a broken plate, that means sweeping up the shards and slivers and putting them in a paper bag. But when we’re talking about our own brokenness sneaking up on us, that might mean doing some deep breathing or taking a walk or drinking some tea.

On a larger scale, cleaning up “your broken plate” might mean making an appointment with your counselor, taking a break from the thing that was your last straw, or apologizing to anyone who was collateral damage during your breakdown. It also might mean asking God to give you courage to face what’s underneath the brokenness and to help you process whatever has left you fragile.

And that’s both the good news and our third step: remembering God is with us.

Jesus is here when we fall apart and He cares deeply about what we’re facing and how we’re feeling about it. So many times in Scripture we see Jesus help people understand and deal with the issues beneath their outward expressions of pain. Over and over, He saw people suffering and stopped to ask, “What do you [really] want?”

Luke 18 tells the story of Jesus healing a blind man. When the disciples heard the man begging Jesus for help, they told him to be quiet. They saw his emotional outburst as a nuisance. But Jesus heard the man’s heart and had mercy on him, asking him what he needed and then offering it to him freely. (Luke 18:35-42)

Jesus isn’t surprised by our unexpected emotions, and He isn’t bothered by the sudden appearance of our pain. When we lash out or blow up, when our brokenness becomes sharp edges that can so easily cut, Jesus doesn’t condemn us. Instead, He protects us and shows us the way to repair what’s broken.

This life is hard, and we will all experience times when it becomes too much. We may keep pushing ahead, through the pain and the struggle and the fear and the confusion, but at some point, we just can’t push anymore. When that happens and we find ourselves shattered into a pile of broken pottery, Jesus is there.

If your heart is broken, you’ll find God right there;
if you’re kicked in the gut, he’ll help you catch your breath.
Psalm 34:18 MSG

 

Listen to Mary’s devotion below or anywhere podcasts stream.

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