It felt like the perfect storm. 

The charity I work for called an all-staff meeting to break the news: the finances we required and expected to have weren’t coming. Multiple donors — all at the same time — needed to pull out. They didn’t have the money to donate to us this year.

I was confident God would provide. God always provides, doesn’t He? My team prayed and fasted. We confessed and repented. We lamented. We hoped. We took communion together. I went to bed each night and awoke each morning full of faith that the money would show up.

I started checking my mailbox regularly just in case a surprise check was arriving. We received prophetic words that the finances would be coming soon. I kept my eyes open for how God might wow us this time. But as the days and weeks went by, and the provision I was praying for didn’t appear, I could feel my faith beginning to falter. 

What happens when the provision you’re praying for doesn’t seem to come when and how you need it?

The discouragement set in. On a morning when our team spirits felt particularly low, I decided to buy a colleague a coffee, just to brighten her day and remind her to keep going. (Coffee makes everything slightly more doable, doesn’t it?) 

When I got to the line at the drive-through, I felt God’s Spirit inviting me to pay for the person behind me. I didn’t want to. My personal finances didn’t necessarily feel tight, but when everything else is shrinking in front of you, there’s a temptation to get stingy. 

I rolled down my window and asked the barista if I could cover the person behind me. 

“Sure you can!” But then, a few seconds later, he told me that person had already paid. 

I laughed, and asked if I could pay for the person behind them.

He checked, and then said that person had used their app and already gotten a free drink.

I laughed again, a bit bewildered. “Let’s try this one more time. How about the person behind them?”

“You wouldn’t believe this… but they already paid too. And there’s no one behind them.”

He handed me the coffees for me and my coworker. I thanked him and drove off.

Had I heard from the Holy Spirit correctly? I prayed as I drove away. God, why would You ask me to pay if no one needed their coffee paid for today?

Immediately, I heard His still, small voice in response: I wanted to see if your heart would remain generous, even when the temptation is to get stingy.

It stopped me in my tracks. Tears filled my eyes as I considered the invitation the Lord had just offered me. 

What happens when the provision you’re praying for doesn’t seem to come when and how you need it? I think the answer is twofold: don’t stop praying, but also don’t stop being generous. 

It was such a simple invitation, but it changed everything for me. When things don’t unfold the way I want them to, I so easily harden my heart. I lose faith. I close my fists and get stingy. But what if Jesus’s invitation is to do the opposite? To remain open-handed and generous, even when you can’t see how or when the provision is coming? 

God is not stingy or close-handed. He is a generous God who gives us everything – His own breath… even His own Son. 

I’m reminded that we don’t follow Jesus in order for Him to give us exactly what we want, when and how we want it. 

We follow Jesus because He is God, generous and open-handed who gives and gives and gives – more than you or I can ever imagine. 

How could we not be generous too? 

Listen to Aliza’s devotion anywhere you stream the (in)courage podcast!

Today is the first week in the season of Advent, the four weeks leading up to Christmas Day. Join us here at (in)courage each weekend in December for an Advent-themed devotion!

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