Earlier this week, my husband, Darian, and I were on a charming, little walk around our neighborhood. It was hot outside so instead of fully holding hands, we were only holding pinkies. So cute.
I began to tell him about a friend of ours who was posting vacation pictures on her social media — living out the vacation of our dreams. I was in the middle of describing to him how she and her husband were following our dream itinerary, eating our dream food, and doing everything that was on our bucket list. But before I could really go into any great detail, he nonchalantly said to me, “Did you rejoice with those who rejoice?”
I had to stop and ask myself sincerely if I was rejoicing with them. If I wasn’t before, I was after he asked! I did not want to let jealousy or envy creep in. It’s not worth it.
After I did a quick heart check I started to think about that full verse. Romans 12:15 (NIV) says, “Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.” Mourning with those who mourn seems to come easier than rejoicing with those who rejoice.
If someone loses a job, goes through a breakup, discovers a disease, or experiences a loss, we tend to feel bad for them. We empathize with their situation and even rally to provide whatever support they need. Yet, if our coworker gets the promotion we wanted we pout, complain, and talk about them behind their back.
Rejoicing with those who rejoice is uncommon. It’s not a natural thing most people do.
Years ago a friend of mine went through a hard divorce. She was struggling with her finances, was in and out of different relationships, and was having a difficult time with her teenage children. It was a challenging season of life for her. During one of our conversations, she angrily mentioned to me that her ex-husband was thriving in life. The hurt in her heart was stealing her ability to rejoice. How many times do we allow offense and bitterness to rob us of rejoicing with others?
Allowing our hearts to be poisoned with unforgiveness, entitlement, or pride is a dangerous place to live. Yet, we see it every day. We see siblings mad at siblings because they were favored by a parent. Best friends stop speaking because someone’s feelings are hurt. Marriages break up because one person thinks they deserve something the other person can’t or won’t give. But how might some of those relational wounds be healed if we adopted a posture of rejoicing?
Do you ever wonder why the Lord places certain verses in the Bible? Do you ever think, What’s in it for me?
Sassily I want to say it doesn’t matter what benefit there is. If the Lord, our Father, Master, and Savior told us to do something, then we should just do it. But because the Lord is so good there is always a benefit. Psalm 24:3-4a (NIRV) says, “Who can go up to the temple on the mountain of the Lord? Who can stand in his holy place? Anyone who has clean hands and a pure heart.” Everything we do reflects the condition of our hearts.
When we rejoice with those who rejoice, it shows clean hands and a pure heart. It takes humility, love that’s unconditional, and self-control to celebrate with others. Especially with those who receive the prayer you’ve been praying to receive yourself. It’s never quite as hard if someone gets what we didn’t want. However, when they get the thing of our dreams, our true heart colors show. But if we can just keep our hands clean and our hearts pure, what we get is so much better. We get to go into the temple of the Lord.
It’s when we forgive, aren’t easily offended, and genuinely celebrate the wins of those around us that we can boldly and freely run to the Lord. There is nothing that compares to the presence of God.
I’m so thankful Darian asked me that question on our walk that day. I needed the reminder that everything isn’t always about me. Other people have dreams, prayers, and desires too. True love wants good things for others.
My day is coming. Your day is coming too. We may or may not get our dream vacation or promotion, but we will get the greatest gift of being fully loved and known by our Almighty God.
In the meantime, I’m going to do the uncommon thing. I’m going to keep my hands clean and my heart pure. I’m going to rejoice with those who rejoice. I’m going to ascend the hill of the Lord.
Laura says
Wow Tyra! What a convicting article for first thing Monday morning!
Thank for this. As I ponder your message, I realize, I am not rejoicing for those I should be rejoicing for. And I need to work on having cleaner hands and heart because I am desperately seeking to be in God’s presence…as you say…there is nothing better.
Have a blessed day rejoicing!
Laura
Tyra Rains says
Oh Laura, wouldn’t it be great if we automatically went to “rejoice with” every time?! That’s my goal and I’m sure it’s yours too. His way is most definitely always better.
Thanks for sharing.
Tyra
Laura says
Susen says
Thank you for sharing the verse in Psalm 24. When I referred to it in my Bible, I had no notes, nothing underlined and although I’ve read through Psalms this verse never resonated with me….until now! Wow, powerful, thank you for sharing!
PS I have your book, Virtue and I’m enjoying it very much 🙂
Tyra Rains says
Susen,
I love that out of the whole article, that was the verse that stood out to you. It’s is my husband, Darian’s, mantra. It has saved us a lot of heartache through the years.
Blessings!
Tyra
Madeline says
Tyra, what a helpful reminder. I really need to embrace this.
Tyra Rains says
Madeline,
Thanks for joining the club. We all need this one I think. We’re on a journey. Let’s just keep growing.
Live Uncommon,
Tyra
Angela says
Feeling deeply convicted by this morning’s message. “True love wants good things for others.” For two years I’ve been praying for reconciliation of a broken relationship. Believing that when the time is right God will reunite us. Instead, I recently learned that person is in a new relationship. I have been vacillating between anger, jealousy, shame, and sadness. Anger at God. Jealous at someone I’ve never met. Shame for hoping. And sadness for being unable to embrace the joy in front of me.
Thank you for this powerful message. My head needed to hear it even if my heart is still struggling to receive it.
Tyra Rains says
Angela,
I’m sorry to hear you’re going through a hard time. But wow. There’s something amazing about a person who, in the midst of their pain, can still self evaluate and receive the correction the Lord is bringing. I’m believing good things are in store for you.
Live Uncommon,
Tyra
Lisa Wilt says
Tyra,
I loved your simple reminder to Rejoice with those who rejoice!
More Joy for everyone!
I shared your devotion twice!
Sending you JOY,
Lisa Wilt
Tyra Rains says
“More joy for everyone.” Lisa, I think we could be friends.
Thanks for the shares!
Live Uncommon!
Tyra
Betsy Basile says
Dear Tyra………Your devotion today was inspiring and speaks so much to my story that just happened to me yesterday (Sunday). I am soon to be 77 years old this month and I have a great deal of life experiences (which I call them). I was as those of us that believe was created by God and apparently He wanted me to be this way. When I was in junior and senior high school, I had many times when I pouted or did not rejoice with others. The boys really made fun of me from 8th grade through graduation. It hurt and it also made me mad. I was a very good student and was elected as the Captain of the Cheerleaders in my junior year, which was unusual as it had always been a senior; however, in my senior year they elected my best friend and I pouted and cried to myself “Why didn’t I get elected for our last year?” I just couldn’t be happy for her as I thought I did a better job than she did. Jump forward some years. I was married to a man I did not like and he did not like me either, but he raped me and I got pregnant. Back in the 60’s, the women were always blamed for these things happening and thus, if you have ever heard of it “Shotgun marriages ” were what happened unless you had an abortion and I told him, I was NOT going to do this, but I was scared. I was only 22 and just out of college. I didn’t want to get married yet and I wasn’t ready for a baby. My big mistake was not telling my parents what really happened. My mother did not talk to me for 2 weeks as she said” I knew better and she also said don’t expect us to help you. “Jump ahead some years. I learned many things in all the jobs that I had over the years, before I finally got my “dream job”, but all the other jobs, I paid attention to things and did not forget. I became the person that people that worked with me, would come to for advice and encouragement. I was the “Card Lady”. When people had problems or illness or something good like and engagement or promotion or a wedding, I got a card and always write something, don’t just sign my name and send it. All my friends knew my marriage was horrible but nobody wanted to talk about it. So after about 20 years, just by something I know the Lord helped with, I had sent a resume to a very large company, but the HR Manager called me and said she didn’t think it was the right fit for me, but could they save my resume if something else came up. I said, of course. 2 months later I got the call and 2 interviews later, I was offered my “Dream job” at age 39. All of those years that I worked at all kinds of different jobs schooled me in how to be a good supervisor and eventually became a Manager there. Once the people who reported to me got used to my style and knew they could come to me with any problem whether it be personal or work-related and I would make time to talk to them. I became the go-to person whenever there was a problem in other parts of the company. They moved me around to 5 different unit and in weeks I fixed what was wrong. Even though my soon to be ex hates me and my son has told me that he no longer considers me his mother because I was a liar and his father was just old age and I could never, ever again speak or see my 1 grandson so I am totally alone. All the rest of my family have gone from the Earth. My son did find out that his father was very ill and had just about killed me, but Aron never came back to me. All he needed to say he was sorry he didn’t listen to me, but that didn’t happen and in December this year it will be 2 years since I have seen or heard from either of them. I have to admit to you Tyra, that I Have my days that I call “Sorrow Days” where I pout and cry and ask the Lord, why is this happening to me? I also pray all day on those days, so your devotion is something that I hope many women read and take to heart as your story was so very much a reminder to me that I needed to continue on rejoicing with other people and helping as many people with problems that I could. The divorce is only for my own safety, but there are so many problems with it. It has been 18 months now and I am still waiting. Thanking you again and I will certainly save your story and reread it over and over. I send my prayers and love to you and your family. They are truly lucky to have you. You are an Angel…….Betsy Basile
Tyra Rains says
Betsy,
I’m sorry that you’ve been deeply hurt. Know that the Lord still sees you. When it feels like you’re alone, He is right there. Jesus was very much abandoned at a time in His life. Instead of focusing on the hurt, He focused on others. I can see you’ve done that often in your life. Keep going. Keep loving. Keep forgiving and keep sending those cards.
Live Uncommon!
Tyra
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
Tyra other people might be living your dream. When alive on this earth. God showed me one day this. As I when I was child wanted the dream of getting Married and having a bungalow in the country. Yes I did get Married to a beautiful Christian man. Who 31 years past in June this year is still my Husband. We live in what was at one time a Housing Executive house. That we bought and through the years done it up as we could afford it. My Husband when I Married him never had much money. He felt guilty that he couldn’t give me what he thought was a better life. A house that I wanted in the country. By me what he call nicer stuff. He said to me if you Married someone else with more money that could have given you your house in the country. It took him a long time to believe me when I said to him. I didn’t want you given me the house in the country. I don’t care you don’t have any more money than you have. You go work get paid for your Job you do. I am happy we have either and the we house we have even though it not in the country. If God wanted us to have the house in the country that I dreamed of when a child God would have given us the money to have it I told my Husband. But he kept saying if you had married someone else with more money you have had it. I kept saying I don’t want anyone else only you I don’t care you do are not able to give it to me. We have enough money to pay the bill we have in the we house we have. Plus before paying them we tithe to God. That is all I want. He said you could have even the big houses like your sisters live in with their Husband and kids if you had married someone richers than me. That they are living your dream only not in the country. I had to keep saying I am happy with you and the we house we have. As I know God put us together. You were meant for me I was meant for you. Then I had to tell him one day years ago what God showed me. God said think about people in world that are homeless and have no homes. In countries in the world that have kids we don’t have any. Happy just us two of us. That only have maybe on room to live in with their kids. They don’t have beds to sleep like we do. Or anywhere for their kids to play. When kids were we live have a nice park to play in. We have other nice things they do. We not like the homeless living in the cold looking for somewhere to sleep. He stopped and looked at me said Dawn your are so right. I have to be thankful God gave you me and the house we have. Plus you don’t care about me not having much money to give you a better life style. I have to remember what Philippines 4:19 says. It says “My God will supply all my needs according to his riches in Christ Jesus” Not our greeds. Just or needs he said. We are very rich in God eyes. We have a roof over our head a bed to sleep in food on our table when so many don’t have this. We have alot to be thankful for on to God he then said. He see said Dawn your so right in what you said. It made me see sense and stop thinking the way I was. So he has changed his way of thinking does not say the things he says. Thank you for your reading it speaks sense. I love it. Thank you for writing it all you said in it. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little Enniskillen Fermanagh N.Ireland xx
Tyra Rains says
Dawn,
You have a wonderful heart of gold. What sweet assurance you gave to your husband. The love you shared with him is beautiful. Thank you for sharing part of your story with me.
Live Uncommon!
Tyra
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
Thank you Tyra for your lovely comment to what I wrote. I love you all incourage. Even though might not see you all until I get to Glory one day. I am still God made us sister in the Lord. I pray for all your Families incourage too. I love your readings to they are brilliant like all the other women incourage. God bless Love Dawn xx
Tyra Rains says
❤️ Thank you for all the prayers.
Jill says
Thanks for this devotional. It was spot-on for me today.
Tyra Rains says
Hi Jill!
Thank the Lord! He always knows just what and when we need to hear things. It was spot on for me as well.
Live Uncommon!
Tyra
Birdie says
Yes, that’s hard to do, rejoice with others when they get something you wanted.
Tyra Rains says
Birdie, you are so right. Thankfully we don’t have to do things in our own strength. The Lord is good!
Love Uncommon!
Tyra
Courtney Humble says
I think I needed this reminder. Thank you
Tyra Rains says
Hi Courtney!
Don’t we all?! I’m so thankful for the grace of God and all of His reminders.
Live Uncommon!
Tyra
Faye says
JUST what l soooo needed to hear today. God bless you.
Tyra Rains says
Oh wow! I love to hear that, Faye. His timing is remarkable!
Live Uncommon!
Tyra
Felicia Harris-Russell says
Amen. The greatest gift — being known and loved by God!!
Tyra Rains says
There is nothing that even comes close.
Live Uncommon!
Tyra