“Mom, can I connect to your hotspot?”
“Mom, do we have any snacks left?”
“Mom, can you please add this game to my iPad?”
“Mom, can you get granola and bagel chips when you order groceries?”
“But why can’t I have a phone if everyone else has one?”
“But why can’t you just trust me? I said I wouldn’t mess up again!”
“Mom, I need to connect to the wifi!”
“Mom, my math teacher said I need this really fancy calculator.”
“Mom, did you sign the permission slip?”
All summer long, my kids have pushed on every single boundary I’ve created for them. They’ve also pushed on every single nerve I have left, asking and demanding and requesting and begging for all the many things they want and think they need.
As a human, I grew exhausted by all this real fast. And it wasn’t long before my weariness turned to irritation, and my ability to respond gently deteriorated with every new question. I even resorted to saying out loud, “Can you just give me ONE DAY without asking me for something?”
One day. It’s all I asked for – and it never happened. They had questions and requests and arguments and needs-that-aren’t-really-needs Every. Single. Day. The whole summer.
Like a rookie, I thought perhaps it would get better when they went back to school. As if I’d never had kids in school before! Because as any seasoned parent knows, the demands of the school year might be different than those of summer . . . but they are still there. They are still demanding.
In an unfortunate bit of bad timing, my family traveled out of town right after my girls’ school year began. We made it through school supply shopping, back-to-school night, and the return of early morning alarms – and then we packed our suitcases and climbed into a rental car for five days of forced family fun.
At one point, after many hours in a minivan and one request for wifi too many, I put in my earbuds and pretended to be asleep.
I’m not proud of this mom move (and don’t worry, I wasn’t the only adult in the car!). But in that blessed break from being bombarded by my kids and their road trip needs, I felt God nudge me.
While I didn’t hear an audible voice, I imagined God bemused, saying in that moment, “You’re refusing all requests now? You’re telling your children to stop coming to you with their needs? I would never!”
It also occurred to me that while it’s legitimately annoying to be asked for something in such a nonstop manner, I am also grateful my kids feel safe asking me for what they want and need, whenever they want and need it. I’m grateful they trust that I will provide for them and that, even if I get grumpy, I want to hear from them about big and little things, about their thoughts and feelings, desires and needs. I don’t really want them to give me even one day of silence. (Though I would take an hour!)
God is the same – but not quite, because He’s so much better.
I am a fallible human parent, while God is a perfect heavenly Father. I am tired all the time; He is tireless and timeless. I am easily irritated and quick to snap, while He is endlessly patient and quick to listen and to care.
The Old Testament is full of conversations between a listening God and His children, full of stories that show how deeply God cares for His people. In the New Testament, Jesus calls people to Himself again and again. And He continually reminds us that God is a good, good father who has good, good gifts for us.
“You parents — if your children ask for a loaf of bread, do you give them a stone instead? Or if they ask for a fish, do you give them a snake? Of course not! So if you sinful people know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your heavenly Father give good gifts to those who ask him.”
(Matthew 7:9-11 NLT)
As the past couple of years have been long and difficult to endure, I’ve grown reluctant to pray, wondering if God is tired of hearing the same questions, the same demands, the same laments. In my desperate attempts to cling to hope and joy, I’ve counted every small and smaller gift – and then wondered if maybe that’s all I can expect, all He has for me.
But God says no! He promises to work all things together for good and to be with us, no matter how obnoxious we get. (That last part, of course, is a paraphrase but I don’t think it’s wrong.)
So if you’re worried that you’ve worn out God’s patience with your requests, let me put your mind at ease. He is the best Father we could ever imagine (better, even!) and will never roll His eyes or pretend to be asleep when we need Him. He’ll never tire of our needs or our neediness. He loves us more than we love even our own children. His love is greater than our mess and confusion and desperation, and beyond comprehension.
Take your needs to God, big or small, old or new, first time or millionth time. Ask and ask again. He will listen, and He will provide.
Betsy Basile says
Dear Mary..I am 76 years old, so I am past the children’s questions, however, I did find out that there are more things that can happen that will have you ” complaining constantly about serious situations that just keep getting worse. Your words have given me something more to think about again, God’s love is greater than our mess and confusion and we need to think about this as God has His own timeline for things and we really NEED to remember that. I have 4 major situations that I need to resolve. My son called me and dismissed me as his son (age 52) as he said I was lying about his father’s dementia where he almost killed me, but he is still in denial after 6 years and my son, because I did give birth to him, also told me that my 1 grandson (12 years old) I would never be able to talk or see him ever again. I was crushed and he just hung up. It has been 2 years now and he knows how sick his father is, but never came back to me. Then there is the divorce and so many other things I have been trying to do. At my age, it is more difficult than when I was 40. I never thought that this would or could happen to me at this age. I pray and pray and work in so many books and Bibles I have from your (in)courage community to try and assist me it which way to go. There is too much more to go on, but Mary, I thank you for your devotion and I will read this again after lunch when I am feeling better? (food bad here). I send you much love and prayers your way to your family and these daily devotions help me to keep putting one foot in front of the other……….Betsy Basile
CJ says
Betsy, You have a full plate and then some. I admire your courage to try to pick yourself up and move on in the face of much tragedy. You can’t control so much that’s happening to you. None of us can control the world, as much as I’d love to! Your story and Mary’s has given inspiration to go to God more often with all my issues. God bless you Betsy with His guidance as you travel through this unsure life. Best wishes.
Lisa Wilt says
Mary,
This is such a busy season for you and all moms!
I remember the feeling and think your devotion will encourage others so I have shared it!
Sending you Fall JOY,
♥️ Lisa
Terry says
Thank you for this reminder Mary! Hugs and prayers ❤️
Kathy F says
I loooved this! I smiled and chuckled several times, and I so needed smile! I have been blessed to do some much needed home improvements this summer and while all the requests and bombarding questions haven’t been from children, I can still so relate! I have apologized to God more than once, after asking so often for patience, stamina, and rest! Thank you sooo much for the reminder that God never tires of hearing our needs! Blessings, you sweet and dear “mom!”
Becky Keife says
Mary, I love you and I love our good good Father. He is so attentive to our needs and so worthy of our trust. Always.