I was fine, totally fine. Or so I thought.
And then after a long day of work and another hour making a home-cooked dinner, one unnamed thirteen-year-old made one too many critical comments, and I went from okay to out-of-control.
Rest and recovery have eluded me recently. There’s lots of tension and anxiety and chaos — in my home and in the world. We’re like too many passengers, crammed into a too-small dingy, thrust into the wide-open sea and then caught in a furious, terrifying storm. It reminds me of one stormy day when Jesus’s friends woke Him up in the boat crying, “Master, Master, we’re going to drown!” (Luke 8:24 NIV).
I understand the disciples’ panic — their ability to go from fine to undone in the span of seconds. My squall may not come in the form of rain and wind, but it’s just as terrifying and damaging. And I’m usually the source of its sting — in my impatient responses and curt replies, my critical remarks and unforgiveness. When the tension and anxiety and chaos rise, my peace and self-control go down.
The funny thing about tension, anxiety, and chaos is that the first things we often let go of are what we need the most: quiet, prayer, meditation, Bible reading, solitude. It seems there isn’t time or energy for it.
A few days ago, I realized once again how insecure, irritable, and overwhelmed I felt. I was so caught up in the turmoil of the storm I forgot that Jesus was in my boat. To stay afloat, I needed to remember the only One who could offer me true peace.
“Where is your faith?” Jesus asked the disciples (Luke 8:25 NIV). He asks the same of you and me. And for today, I remember that although my world rocks and the wind roars, my faith is with Jesus. He sits in my boat, even while the storm grows. That means my Peace is with me, right here, right now, no matter what comes.
“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”
John 14:27 NIV
Devotion by Michele Cushatt from 100 Days of Strength in Any Struggle
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Today’s devotional rocked me to my core. Currently in a season of crippling anxiety.
And “forgetting” to keep God’s peace front and center.
Dear Michele……..I always love your stories and references to the scriptures so I get my incourage Bible out and read them in there. My situation is similar in some parts. I have just received my divorce after 55 years of marriage, but I had no choice as my husband with dementia abused me ever single night for three and a half years as he drank too much and he did not think there was anything wrong with him, but when he was in these rages he told me he knew he had dementia, but 10 minutes later, he did not remember anything. I knew that Jesus was in my boat, but now the next thing that is dangerous is the distributions of the assets and there are many. Then I need to change my will, and get a trustee and on and on. So here is where the chaos overwhelms me. I have been going through this for 6 years now. I am 77 years old now and have long haul Covid. My hands are stiff and the fatigue is very overcoming. So, where do I find the time and energy to do what you suggested? John 14:17 is where I need to go and really rely on that every time another problem pops up. My mother always told me I was a worry-wart and I still am so I worry greatly about the would and so many frightening things that could happen in the next couple of years. Is there anything you can tell me Michele that might help me to not worry? Thank you for your wonderful stories. They help me so much. You always seem to touch on something that really relates to me somehow. Take care and I send you my prayers as well and the incourage community I feel is a band of Angels sent to those of us that need you and I have so many of your books. Have a great week and please keep spreading your stories. It is something that I look forward to every morning and I TAKE the time to read and reply…………………………..Love……Betsy Basile
Dearest T, I have prayed for you and I understand about anxiety and in my case also seasons of depression. But know this: Jesus is with us and He promises never to leave us nor forsake us. He is our strong deliverer and our healer. May He encourage your heart today and be the Lifter of your head. God’s blessings and peace be your’s today and each day to come. He loves you greatly!
AMEN \0/
” (ditto)
Michelle,
I can certainly be late as a mom myself. So I shared your devotional times too!
Sending you end of summer joy,
Lisa Wilt
Michelle,
I can relate. My hubby & I have been irritable lately-usually due to work (both work in hospitals). The tension at times could be cut with a knife. This year we decided to take an extended vacation from work & home. At Virginia Beach resting & getting back to the basics. Showering each other with the attention & love we deserve.
Blessings 🙂