Last month, I started a practice of texting one person every day with the sole purpose of encouraging them.
The messages aren’t long or remotely poetic. Many are quite simple, like:
“God brought you to mind today, and it reminded me how much I appreciate our friendship.”
“Saw your smiling face at church today. You bring so much joy into every room!”
Recently, I texted one friend who consistently goes out of her way to bless other people. The text was longer than most, because I wanted to call out the trail of kindness she leaves wherever she goes.
A few seconds later, my phone beeped with her response: “Well, thanks, but where did that come from?!? LOL! I love and appreciate you too!”
In another season of my life, I might have felt ridiculous for gushing so profusely in my text to her. But I have learned the hard way that I never want to withhold my appreciation for others.
Here’s what I told her in response:
“I sent it to you ‘just because.’ I believe that if you see something good in someone, you shouldn’t withhold it. I don’t like waiting for funerals to say nice things about people. I rather enjoy telling the living.”
I’m no hero for taking 30 seconds out of every day to send someone an encouraging text. I am doing it because I have wept at too many graveside services, regretting that I hadn’t said more. It can feel like a punch in the gut when it’s too late to tell someone how you feel.
We always think we’ll have the time, but if you’ve unexpectedly lost someone you love, you know that we don’t always have that luxury.
I’ve decided that I don’t want to wait until tomorrow to say what needs to be said today.
When I open my Bible to the Gospels, I see that kind of urgency with Jesus. He couldn’t afford to wait to say what needed to be said. On the night before His crucifixion, He took the time to demonstrate with words and actions His love for His closest friends, as well as for future believers.
He served them, by washing their feet. (See John 13:4-5.)
He comforted them. (See John 14:1-4.)
He told them about the coming of the Holy Spirit. (See John 14:16-17.)
He prayed for them – and for us. (See John 17:6-26.)
And Jesus told them of His great love for them – which is a model for us as we love others today. “As the Father has loved me, so have I loved you. Now remain in my love. … I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete. My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. Greater love has no one than this: to lay down one’s life for one’s friends” (John 15:9 and 12-13 NIV).
Sharing that kind of love with others can be as simple as a 30-second text. Or it could be potentially uncomfortable – because it may require you to have a long overdue, face-to-face encounter with someone you need to make amends with.
I trust that the Holy Spirit will show you how this might unfold for you.
But the bottom line is this: let’s not wait. We might not have that kind of time.
What words do you need to say? Find the strength to say them, today.
Let someone know you love them, today.
Make amends, today.
Send that text, today.
Let’s not wait for the funeral to tell someone what they mean to us.
SO true! A month ago today we got word a dear friend had died unexpectedly the night before. A week before that we’d had a weekend away with 5 couples from college days that have stayed close all these years. As they climbed into their cars to go our separate ways after hugs goodbye & see ya soons the last thing I said was “love y’all”. A week later David was with Jesus. Oh the gift of time spent together but the even more profound gift of my last words he heard from me was love. Still walking in shock that he’s not here with us. But walking in peace we will see him again & then for eternity! Say what must be said as if it’s your last words spoken. Blessings(((0)))
Oh Ruth … You know the message of this article today — quite deeply. I am so sorry for your loss.
Oh Jennifer,
Our adult son lives in his car as a homeless guy. He works part-time for which we are grateful. He suffers from mental health issues so this was a reminder that I felt from the Holy Spirit to send along a love text to my boy. Thanks! It’s just so cool to be in synchrony with the Holy Spirit! Blessings to you Miss Jennifer!
Your post really touched me, Jennifer (which yours always do). I agree that we shouldn’t postpone saying encouraging words. There’s a Christian song with the phrase “if I had only known the last time would be the last time.” Thanks for your nudge to reach out to others while we can.
Thanks, Melody. Grateful for you.
Jennifer,
What a great idea! I’m adopting it for July!
By the way – for years I’ve kept messages like the ones you send. I paste them in the notes section of my phone under the name of the person who took the time to send it. Amazingly, God uses them sometimes years later just when I’m needing a word of encouragement.
Sending you summer JOY,
Lisa Wilt (struggling author who needs uplifting)
Lisa…..I often read your replies on our daily devotionals. I will say a prayer for you. You always leave fantastic replies and I feel like I know you a bit. Take care, Lisa and surely, have a blessed day and you and your family enjoy the 4th of July and what it all means to us or should mean and not just a day off of work. I am sure you know our world is upside down right now and we need God’s help and I pray for this every day especially with the election coming up in November. Hope it was all right that I sent this to you. Love………………Betsy Basile
Lisa, This is such a beautiful practice. Love it so much!
Thank you so much for this message!! It means a lot to reach out to others,you don’t know what someone might be going through on the inside. A simple text can make a big impact on someone. I lost my best friend last year and I was devastated,fortunately we new she was going to leave us.But you just don’t know “ the last time could be the last time “.That is a beautiful song a great reminder to say I love you,or I was thinking about you today!
I am so sorry for your loss, Maryann. And I’m glad this message encouraged you today!
Thank you for this little push today! I know that God has given me the gift of encouragement, but many times I don’t use it as I should, always waiting to find the right card, words, time, etc. This is such a simple way to connect with not just those we know are going through trials, but others that might be just having a normal day and would be blessed by our words. I will ask God to give me the words to send to whoever He places on my heart every day!
I love this, Judy! I’d be eager to hear how it goes after you send those text messages!
Jennifer, thank you for this important reminder about such a seemingly simple act that can have a huge impact in daily life, for both the giver and recipient. Wishing for that ‘one final time’ is universal and something that we always desire, no matter the situation, but being intentional about reaching out enriches relationships and lives.
It was such a joy and honor to meet you at the women’s event in Omaha this past April; this piece will go in my journal under ‘JDL.’ You and AV have a special place in my heart, and your messages are spot on insightful and meaningful every single time.
Praying for you, your family, and your farming operation, and that you are safe from the flood waters. God’s blessings!
Oh Jo, I love knowing that this is going in your JDL section! 🙂 That makes me smile. 🙂
Jennifer……A great one today. Thanks, and this is exactly what I do. I have one big problem and maybe you can help me. My sister has not spoken or contacted me for 9 years as I found out a year before my mother died that she had been abusing my mother for a long time. Mother said, I made a big mistake giving your sister my POA. She has drained every thing out of my bank account to pay her bills. The final thing my sister did was tried to make a fool out of me when planning mother’s funeral. My mother had a life insurance account for over $11,000 that I received and I didn’t even know about it. I knew that she put me in as the beneficiary because she knew I would use it for her funeral and Patty would have spent the money. She shouted out at the funeral home that it was a big mistake. Mother would have never given that money to you. Being the type of person I am, I did not reply then, but several weeks later I told her what Mother had told me. My sister was to be her caregiver and she made a major mistake. Mother had a specific routine and at 11:30 every morning she went upstairs to the bathroom and to do whatever she wanted and then came down by noon for lunch. The day she died and we don’t know what happened, but Patty decided to go to her daughter’s house to play with a puppy. She didn’t come back until 1pm and found mother dead in the bathtub. At times I stayed with Mother and I knew, NEVER to leave the house to get things for her until she was down for lunch and stayed downstairs all afternoon. I am the older sister by 3 years.There is so much more to this story but I will not bore you. Jennifer, I told you all of this to now ask you my question. I have the first 5 years tried to connect with her and talk this one out. She blocked all her phones and computer and even mail address as I didn’t even know where she was living. Everything was denied. I gave up after 5 years. Your devotional Jennifer reminded me as I am 76 years old that I should connect with her again, but I have no was to do this. Do you have any advice? I do pray for her as she has no faith. My mother told me when I was about 30 that we were totally opposite in personalities and this was from when we were both babies. She couldn’t understand how this could happen. Sorry for the long email, but you women in your in courage community are my one hope and I am so sure that Jesus sent me to you as he knew I was physically alone. My husband has the violent kind of Dementia and almost killed me. I had stayed with him for 3+ years, to no avail. He was in denial then and now it is 6 years and he still is. My son abandoned me saying that it was just old age, even though I read him the report from the 2 neurologists. He also told me I would never be able to see my 12 year old grandson or talk to him ever again. This whole thing has been and still is a heart-breaking thing to me. All my other relatives have left this Earth to be with God. I am alone. Thanks and I hope you are not mad at me for telling you all this. Blessings to you and your family and have a Happy 4th of July !!………………………….Betsy Basile
Oh Betsy, Thank you so much for sharing your heart with us. What a tragic situation, and I’m sure it’s caused you a lot of heartache. My advice, since you are asking, is to pray about this and seek the Holy Spirit’s guidance. If He prompts you to reach out to your sister, do so with love and with confidence. But prepare your heart in knowing that she may not reciprocate. I am pausing to pray for you now, Betsy, as you seek the Lord’s wisdom in this delicate situation.
Besty God says no matter what you if not done so to ask God to help you forgive your sister. Keep on praying for her. Tell the Lord you are sorry as you might not know you have said anything about your sister that you shouldn’t have. The Lord will forgive you. You do what Colossians 3:13 says “Bearing with one another and forgiving one another if anyone has a complaint against another even as Christ forgave you so you also must do” Even if your sister has complaint against you blame you for everything. At least you know by doing these things. You will have clear conscience and nothing to worry about. Especially when you leave this earth to see your maker. You will then know you are forgiven and you done what is right. I had to forgive someone over something different. But glad I did. I prayed to God to also forgive me if I said anything about them because of what happened I don’t know about it that wrong I shouldn’t have. As if I hadn’t I wouldn’t be able to speak to them today. God wouldn’t have been pleased with me. Even if they never say sorry. I still pray for them and their Salvation. They know I pray for them as I have told them. At least I know I can look them in face and talk to them knowing I have clear conscience. I now see them in different light God’s light. I can show them the love of God. You can do the same. If you see your sister again. What happened you can put it behind you it will not get to you. I am able to do that. Yes like me you will never forget about it. But you will see it in the love of God. It will not annoy you like it did. I am the same. Like it say in verse 14 of Colossians it says ” But above all these things put on Love which is the bond of perfection” Our Lord did what these verse say. When he went to Calvary for the world. He forgave people for what they did on him. What they said about him. Yes he never forgot. He did it because he loved everyone. Wants us all saved and our sins to be forgiven. So we all can go Glory one day when leave earth. I will keep you in prayer Besty and pray for healing in this. That your sister makes friends with you. Through God Holy Spirit God will have your Sister say sorry and ask you to forgive her and make friends with her. Then you both can become friends be there for either. Your Sister will know you have forgiven her. You can tell her in person then. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little Enniskillen Co.Fermanagh N.Ireland xx
I was really touched for what you’ve done, have a blessed day always!
Glad this encouraged you!
I love this so much! I am committing to adopting this practice today! Thank you Jennifer!
Yay! That makes me so happy!
My sister-in-law sent a text to a different friend or family member each day during Lent. It was such a sweet encouragement. Thanks for this post which reminded me to encourage others.
Jennifer, you are such a light in this world! I love everything you write. Thank you for such encouragement! Hugs and prayers ❤️
Jennifer well said in today’s reading. As I love the fact you said in your reading don’t wait until Funeral to tell someone you love them and what they mean to you. How true that is. You get people who don’t talk for whatever reason. Then the day of someone Funeral they if a close relative. They because they don’t want people to feel or know they didn’t speak for what ever reason. Some people do that. Or others don’t care at all. Because they never done what God word say in Ephesians 4:32 “And be kind to one another tenderhearted forgiving one another even as God in Christ forgive you” look how God showed his love to us forgave us all. By his son Christ going to Calvary for us. No better love could have been shown. As it says in popular verse. John 3:16 it says”For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life” how true that is God did that because he loved us. So we not perish. God did wait until we die to tell us that and show us. So all these verse show us the first one if we have something against someone we are to forgive them. By Showing them love being kind to one another. If the person not speaking to us. Us forgiving them and showing the love and being kind. As we know it right to do it in God’s eyes. As we that saved don’t want to grave and meet our maker God. With any unforgiveness in our heart. When we forgive we feel so better. God helps us live them in different light. Even if they are not saved. Like someone I know that done alot wrong. If I not forgiven them they are not saved. I pray for their Salvation. I wouldn’t be helping them every day in love. Speaking to them. Now with God help I am able to love them in different way. What happened in the past. Yes it hurt. But I don’t let it get to me. I will never forget. But now I don’t think about. Even though I will never forget. I do what I do for them on to Love of the Lord and the Love of them. God helped me do that by forgiving them. I have told them if I didn’t forgive you and love you. I wouldn’t be helping you. I pray for you. So when I leave this earth one day to go meet my maker God. I know I nothing to worry about. As I done the right thing in God eyes. I not have my maker God looking at me saying you should have forgiven them. I love them like never did before but even more. Like Jesus love us. I say Amen to that. Every so often I tell them. Even if they don’t think it true. God knows it true that all that matters. Love your reading and what you wrote Jennifer. So true it is. One last we thing. Even though my Aunt and late Uncle always told either they love either. My Uncle years ago died suddenly. My Aunt says at least I told him I love him he told me the same. Like having a row with your Husband. I say to my Husband you must make us before you go bed. Forgive tell either we love either. As we don’t know if we’ll wake up the next day. Or one of us will die. One left on our own. Then if not forgiven and said sorry I love you. Well live to regret it. We don’t row that often. But before we go bed we always tell either we sorry and forgive them say Iove you. We tell either that even if not had row. Every night before we go bed. Thank you again for the reading. Dawn Ferguson-Little Enniskillen Co.Fermanagh N.Ireland. Xx