In my role as a coach to writers and other creatives, I employ a variety of techniques to help my clients grow. I teach goal setting and other productivity strategies, but I have come to find that almost nothing I advise is as effective as one simple technique: body doubling.
If you are not familiar with the term (and don’t worry, I wasn’t either a couple of years ago), body doubling is a strategy used primarily in the ADHD community. When a project seems too difficult, being in someone else’s physical presence (even virtually) while you complete it helps you better accomplish that task.
In my mastermind group, we get together virtually every morning for an hour, say what we’ll be working on, and then reconvene at the end of that hour to share our progress. We turn off our microphones, and sometimes our cameras, and just work. And for some reason, we all get more done than if we had tried to do the work on our own.
A few years ago, I don’t think I would have tried body doubling. I have always been convinced that my problem has been laziness, and if I just buckled down and really pushed myself to work, I could finish my tasks.
One of the big lies that we have been told in our culture is that you somehow earn extra gold stars if you do it all yourself without help. It’s okay to be the helper, but to be the one who needs help — well, that’s just not a good look.
But what I’ve learned is that I need community more than just about anything else in my life, and not just on an emotional and spiritual level, but also in practical aspects like my work, managing my home, and serving my people.
The New Testament implores us to keep meeting together, to hang out together, and to do life together. It makes sense for the spiritual parts of our lives, but it is also critical for the practical.
“And let us consider how to stir up one another to love and good works, not neglecting to meet together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another, and all the more as you see the Day drawing near.”
Hebrews 10:24-25 ESV
We meet together for love (the spiritual) and good works (the practical).
When we gather together (online) for our group time, we start by sharing a little bit of what’s gone on in our lives since we last met. Sometimes, one of our members has had a hard day. Another wants to share a win. And we love on and encourage each other. Then we share what we want to accomplish in the next fifty minutes and get down to business. At the end of our time, we come off of mute, share what we accomplished, and promise to meet together tomorrow.
There is something so encouraging in knowing that there are other people “in the room” who are cheering me on and are there to witness the work. People who are invested in my win as I am in theirs.
If you have spent too much time trying to go it alone, grit your teeth, and just get through it, try these techniques to see if God’s design for community can help you check some things off your to-do list:
- Struggling with that report at work? Ask a coworker to sit in the conference room with you for an hour, and while they work on their spreadsheet, you knock out that report.
- Working from home? No problem. Jump on a Zoom call for an hour with a friend or colleague. While both of you are silently working, you will stay more focused just because you know the other person is there.
- Need to clean out a closet at home? Ask your husband to sit in the room with you and go through his tech box that he’s been needing to go through, or do it with a roomie who needs to clean out her email inbox. You both will get more accomplished.
God’s design for community didn’t stop at church attendance. He designed us to need each other.
In a world that often glorifies self-sufficiency, let us have the courage to embrace God’s design for community, recognizing that by working together and supporting one another, we can not only accomplish more but also experience the joy and fulfillment that comes from living life as it was meant to be lived.
Love this, Kathi. With a giant-sized to-do list this week, I will need to employ body doubling! Love how you linked this to our need for community. Great job!
I can so relate to not being able to get much done, though so much needs doing. We are doing some much needed repairs and updates on our home and I am so overwhelmed, I have lost my heart in doing it. I am frustrated, tired, and overwhelmed. My husband seems to always have other commitments and I am weary of trying to get my house, inside and out back in order. I am praying, as I have no one to call on for help.
Praying that the Lord will send you a helper!
I am the exact opposite of this. When others are around I struggle to accomplish what I need/want to. When I am left alone I easily and quickly complete all the things needed. So interesting how we are all wired differently.
For me, I find encouragement in your words Kathi for my emotional state. That is a place I need to be sure and not “go at it alone”. Which I’m tempted to since that is my natural default. Thank you for sharing your insight.
Kathi,
I always enjoy your posts. (My first one was published last Friday 6/14.)
As a writer also, I had never heard of Body Doubling but it sure sounds like it would work…if for no other reason, it would keep me from getting up from my desk and running to the kitchen for snacks. Haha.
Blessings to all you writers at (in)courage,
Lisa
Kathi – I also shared your post! Hopeful it will help others too.
Kathi, our college friend group just lost one of our own. We do not grieve as those without hope yet body doubling to share the grief will be an invaluable tool. Just being present on a regular basis with each other will ease the burden. Our deceased brother said it this way. “Don’t go to church, be the church.” It applies from spiritual growth & grief to cleaning out closets! Blessings! (((0)))
Kathi,
We all need accountability. It helps to motivate when someone else is watching you work Most of the time I can get things done alone. But it doesn’t hurt to be encouraged by others to get my to do list done. Loved this.
Blessings 🙂
This was a very interesting help and truth.