When I was a little girl, my favorite thing to hear was that I was weird. Whether the words came affectionately from the lips of my mom or as a critical observation from the kid across the street, I didn’t care. “You’re so weird” made me beam — because I was weird.
I was a girl who happily (and confidently) marched to the beat of my own unrhythmic drum.
When I was seven years old, the year was 1989, and neon green biker shorts with a black polka dot skirt with a fluorescent pink tank top was my favorite outfit. But I took the typical bright 80’s color scheme to my own Becky level. I was sure to complement my outfit with my beloved canvas dinosaur sneakers that I got in the boys’ section. The shoes had boring white laces that didn’t meet my high fashion standards so I swapped them out for primary red ones. Good call.
Add to this charming ensemble the fact that I convinced my older sister to braid my hair in three sections and then crimp my bangs, and weird was probably the word that came to everyone’s mind.
At the tender age of seven, I had yet to grow a self-conscious bone. I was just me. Tree-climbing, alphabet-burping, puzzle-solving, book-loving, roller-blading Becky. And I was hungry for affirmation of what I knew was true — that I was perfectly, wonderfully, and weirdly made.
Gosh, I was a great kid.
Decades later, I’m still great, but somewhere between then and now the compliments I desired most shifted. Somewhere along the way, I stopped wanting to be seen for exactly me, and I started striving to please others.
Instead of weird, I wanted to be beautiful. Instead of being unique, I wanted to be accepted, influential, admired, and successful. I started caring about others liking me more than I cared about liking myself.
And even deeper than that, I started forgetting who God says I am and tried to cram myself into a mold that wasn’t made for me.
Have you done this too?
It’s natural for our childhood selves to mature into adolescents with greater self-awareness and then into adults with age-appropriate inhibitions. But that doesn’t mean shoving down, casting out, or numbing over the parts of ourselves that make us stand out for the sake of blending in or receiving positive recognition.
If you’re a dreamer, don’t cram yourself into the box of an analytical thinker.
If you’re loud, don’t let the world stifle your voice.
If you’re vibrant, don’t dull your edges.
If you’re intellectual or artsy or stoic or outdoorsy, don’t let an outside voice tell you that another personality or strength is more valuable and attractive.
The amazing thing about God is that He doesn’t make mistakes. Your shyness is on purpose. Your love for a good debate is intentional. Your fast talking or slow processing is not a mistake.
Do we each have areas where we need to grow? Absolutely! We are all on a journey of being refined and becoming more like Christ. But, friend, learning to love and look more like Jesus doesn’t negate the essential beauty of who you already are.
One of my favorite quotes is credited to Saint Irenaeus, a 2nd-century Greek bishop, who said, “The glory of God is man fully alive.”
God receives glory when we’re living from the fullness of who He’s made us to be.
Have you ever known someone who just sparkles? Who shines from the inside out, not because of something they did but because of Who is in them? The Creator gets the glory when His creation reflects His intentional design.
For it was you who created my inward parts;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
I will praise you because I have been remarkably and wondrously made.
Your works are wondrous, and I know this very well.
Psalm 139:13-14 CSB
You are God’s remarkable creation. If this truth has slipped through the cracks of time, let me be the one to remind you:
Sister, the way God made you is wondrous! You are distinct. Set apart. A one-of-a-kind masterpiece!
What would happen if you lived like it?
These days I’m re-learning to let the bright and bold confidence of my youth reemerge. I wear the vibrant turquoise tennis shoes that clash with most outfits. I make up silly songs and sing them off-key in the kitchen with my kids. I stay quiet when people expect me to speak. I keep writing about Jesus even if it’s not the popular thing.
I think it’s okay that I no longer want to be known as weird. Instead, I just want to be known as loved.
You are so loved.
Yes, that’s the greatest truth we could orient our lives to. When we walk with the assurance that we are God’s beloved daughters — holy and chosen and wonderfully made — we can be confident marching to whatever beat He gives us.
Thank you for this ‘word in due season’ Becky! I simply stumbled upon this webpage this morning and WOW, you have blessed me! God is SO good, and always on time. I look forward to discovering more about the (in)courage community. Blessings!
Jennifer! Welcome to (in)courage! I’m so grateful God led you here. His timing is always so good and so kind.
Love you for all you said in your reading for us Becky. How honest you have been about yourself. I remember growing up and as child I loved BM x bikes. Plus bright socks with bright colours. Like bright green or bright red etc. Plus I wear a BM X suit. I wear one sock green one sock red. I thought I was cool with my BM X suit on and different colours socks on each foot that were very bright. I also thought I was the bees and nees with wearing all that and riding my bright yellow BM X bike. That my parents bought me when a child. I didn’t care what I looked like or what people said about me or people thought of me. I thought I cool. I was being me. When growing up. I didn’t like playing with girly toys. But loved things like my BM x bike. Wearing the BM x suit. My Late Mum used to say let her bee she grow out of this faze she going through. Then I got into my head I going be the best BM x bike rider. I do lots of stunts on my yellow BM x bike. Through time it all wore of. As I went to Secondary school. Then for some reason I went to the Scripture Union group at Lunchtime. Something in really like it hearing about Jesus and singing the songs. One was “Jesus loves all the Children red and yellow black and white all are special in his eyes” I never been told I was special. Even though my Mum and Dad sent me and my sister’s to Sunday School. I am glad for it all now. Even though my parents are not saved. I pray for my Dad salvation now. I did pray for my late Mum’s but don’t know if she got saved before passing away. She always knew I was praying for her. In those days at Secondary School. At the Scripture Union. I began to see Jesus love me no matter what. I am special in his eyes. Jesus don’t care what I look like or what I wear. Jesus loved me for me. That’s all that matters. Even me in my BM x suit with the BM x bike. So through time. I gave my life to the Lord. I am glad. As I know it not about what you wear or what anyone says about you. It about all that Jesus says about you and about him changing your heart to live like him. Jesus did. I glad . The day of the BM x that I went through lost there appeal and I got I wanted to live like Jesus. He has changed me into a lovely daughter of his. Like he changes all us. If we put our trust in him. Thank you Becky for today’s reading. Love it. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little Enniskillen Co.Fermanagh N.Ireland. Xx
Dawn, I’m so sorry you were never told you were special as a child. I’m glad you know you are now. Wonderfully made!! That is who you are.
Thank you Becky for your comment. I appreciate it. I had person high up in our church. Tell me Dawn you remember are a daughter of the king of kings. That means you are special. My Family my Mum when I was big said Dawn you will always be loved. I knew I was special. I didn’t when big have have them say it. Just to know I was loved meant alot me. Then for my 50th Birthday a few years ago. I love Winnie the Pooh. My Husband got me a Winnie the Pooh cake. It had a saying put on it. “That said You are loved more than you could ever know” That meant alot to me. So I now know and I am special and Jesus loves me.Thank you again. Love Dawn xx
I remember reading this originally, and I loved every word, and the same rings true today. It’s a great reminder to embrace our uniqueness.
Thank you, Jill!
HOORAY for the weird kids!!!
(I also agree that it’s probably healthier to focus on “loved” rather than “weird” since weird-for-the-sake-of-weird is often inauthentic as well)(and also if one focuses on needing to be “weird” then that can end up dismissing part of reality as well – if you *have* to be weird in everything, then you’re not allowed to publicly like anything widely popular, basically, and that’s no fun either!)
(but: hooray for the weird kids! And hooray for the grownups who have, to the glory of God, found a way out of the “be more normal!” trap as well! And hooray for God, who gives us all the good, whether weird or not! 🙂 )
KC, absolutely! Weird was just my version of uniquely me. But the point is definitely that we are all LOVED and chosen by God, and the more we know Him the more we know the truest and best version of ourselves.
Perfect!!! Thank you!
YES!!!!!
Thank you so so much for this Becky! So helpful, so touching and so inspiring! Such an important reminder, today and every! Thank you !❤️
Thank you Becky for affirming me at 68! I was a hippie in the 60’s and 70’s growing up in a ivy league New England college town where EVERYONE was weird!!
Years after I got married, my very critical mother in law came right up to my face and told me ,’You’re Odd’
Hmmm….. sadly I was hurt, but oh how refreshing to read your story. I’m me , wonderfully created by God! I loved wearing socks with sandals and overalls to school. My dad was a jazz musician so he was totally ok with the ‘odd’ . He wore 2 different colored socks to work!
Living in the glory of who He made us to be! Awesome Becky.
Becky I absolutely love this!!!!
I’m a bit of a square peg in a round hole kinda girl, and I’m finding that more and more as I journey through my 40’s, I am absolutely embracing my uniqueness. My life does not need to make sense to other people and it so frees me up to just be me and be who God created me to be….quirky, loud rambunctious laugher, and overall goofy girl 🙂
You make weird look good Becky!
I love this and I love you and your weird self! 🙂 I almost always feel weird, and even after all these years of being weird, I need this reminder to embrace it.
As comfortable as I have been in my weird, unique mind/ body. Over the years, without thinking about it, I have found myself trying to fit in. And when I realize that I am doing it…it feels uncomfortably odd! I don’t fit into the worlds mold. I never have, and never will. And truly….when I find myself in the place of trying to be like everyone else…it is very boring and just doesn’t feel right. Do you suppose that Jesus created us this way on purpose? To only feel, “right” when we are walking in our true God given identity? It feels right to me to love Jesus fetociously, it feels right for me to stand hard and firm for truth, justice, realness and Jesus love. It feels right to dress the way I feel most comfortable, it feels right to say I am sorry when I have hurt someone, it feels right to do and be who Jesus made me to be. Becky thank you for this beautiful post.