I’m scrolling through social media and I find myself repeating one phrase, “Look what she did!”
I say this as I see women doing good things — leading, creating, connecting, accomplishing, achieving dreams. It doesn’t take long until another phrase follows, “I should be doing that too!”
I slip into comparison like a too-tight pair of jeans that squeezes in all the wrong places. I feel the pinch of inadequacy, the tug of guilt, the familiar sensation that I am not enough. I don’t feel good in this state of mind. It doesn’t fit me. It doesn’t bring out the best in who God created me to be. But I keep comparison in my mental closet, reluctant to let it go for reasons I can’t explain. Have you ever done the same?
This time, I pause and pray, “God, help me have a different perspective.” In the silence, it seems a gentle, compassionate question comes to my anxious heart. Why are you looking at those posts and saying, “Look at what she did!” instead of “Look at what God is doing!”
Wow, I had never thought of it that way before.
I think of my own story, and how I am where I am today because God brought me here. HE opened doors I never could. HE gave me gifts I could use to serve others. HE called me and equipped me every step of the way. I’ve been asked many times, “How did you get to where you are right now?” I always respond, “I didn’t do this — God brought me here.” Why has it never occurred to me to think of the stories of other women in the same way?
We live in a culture that tells us more is better. The size of something is a measure of its success. Influence equals significance. But when I look at the Kingdom of God, I don’t see the same thing. Instead, I see a God who values love and faithfulness, and who invites us each into an intimate adventure with Him for a lifetime.
I recently reread the parable of the master who goes on a journey and entrusts resources to his servants while he is away. Most of us are familiar with what the master says to the servant given five talents who earns five more. “Well done, good and faithful servant! You were faithful over a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Share your master’s joy.” (Matthew 25:21 CSB). But these words actually appear twice in the same chapter. When the servant with two talents earns two more, the master says that exact same thing to him.
The master doesn’t say, “Good job, but you didn’t do quite as well as this other servant.”
He doesn’t complain, “If you had just tried a little harder, maybe you could have done more.”
He doesn’t declare, “You should have accomplished as much as someone else.”
No, the master says again, “Well done, good and faithful servant! You were faithful over a few things; I will put you in charge of many things. Share your master’s joy.” (Matthew 25:23 CSB).
Why? Because we serve a God who cares more about the quality of our faithfulness with what He’s given us than the quantity of our accomplishments. He isn’t asking us to do as much as we possibly can; He is asking us to say “yes” to what He asks us to do with what He’s entrusted to us. He isn’t looking for more people to have big platforms; He is searching for humble hearts willing to do little things with great love. God is not comparing us to anyone else, He is always and only inviting us to become more like Jesus.
It is a myth, lie, and joy stealer to say, “If I could just do better in some way, then I could be where she is today.”
The truth is, that God has a plan, purpose, and story for each of us that is entirely different. We can trust, even when it’s mysterious, that we don’t need to do better because we already have His best for us.
We no longer have to say, “Look what she did!”
Instead, we can say, “Look what God is doing — in her life and mine!”
Holley!!! As I was reading this, almost with every sentence, my spirit was shouting, “Yes! This is it!” Thank you for sharing a little tweak of perspective that reorients our thinking in a big way. It reminds me to ask myself the question, “Am I centering on myself or Jesus?” BIG difference <3. Love and appreciate you SO much.
Thank you, friend! You are a gift!
Beautiful and insightful, Holley!
And words of wisdom that we can put into practical use! I don’t even have a social platform…but I have a God Platform! He has instilled in me an humble heart and I do try to do little things with His great love in me. Bless you, sweet friend in Christ!
Thank you, Kathy! Yes, we have a God platform!
In January of this year I decided to take a hiatus from social media. Then I took Holley’s course, Heal After You’re Hurt, and it was just the thing my broken heart needed.
A few weeks ago I foolishly decided to take a peek at social media. Those old wounds, just below the surface, were cut wide open again.
Now, I’m telling myself on repeat many of the lessons learned in Holley’s course. And, I’m staying away from social media!
I’m so glad my course was helpful to you, Angela. Praying your heart continues to heal!
I will confess to thinking some of the same thoughts of inadequacy about myself. This certainly is some good advice and helps knowing I am not alone in this. So, thank you.
I have learned that when my focus goes to insecurities ( that is broken focus) it is because I am attaching ( buying into lies) my identity to a unstable foundation. I have to pivot ( renew my mind with God’s Word) and redirect and that is to my identity “In Christ ” Reject the lies and replace them with the truth of God’s Word. I find scriptures and insert my name in them such as being fearfully and wonderfully made being the righteousness of God the head not the tail and so on. We cast down anything that is in opposition of what God said about us! 🙂 Casting down is rejecting and redirecting those thoughts. Also in reflection I ask God why do I feel like that? Asking God to come into those inner parts of my life asking Him to heal them and comfort me instead of reaching for and hanging onto the prideful untruths as a vice.
Holley, this is SO on point! The comparison game began when Eve took the fruit so she could be LIKE God and Satan loves to keep us at the gameboard. Just as salvation is a simple gift the proper use of anything is asking the right question…What did God do?
Blessings! (((0)))
“Quality of our faithfulness not quality of our accomplishments” AND that “God is looking for people doing little things with great love,”WOW!
Powerful words and thoughts and I thank you for sharing them
AMEN!
This is awesome words of encouragement. I find myself thinking exactly that I am not doing enough, but I know even my little drop in the ocean is making a difference in the lives around me. A little change goes a long way in the arms of God.
“A little change goes a long way in the arms of God.” Beautifully said, Cindy!
Yes, Holly! So true.
Thank you Holly for these encouraging words. I too have taken a break from social media, a long one. Since breaking my hip and femur and also with a bad back I am not able to do what I used to do, but I can pray and I do pray for our family, friends and neighbors. God’s richest blessings be on you all!
This—we need more words like this, reminding us that bigger is not better in God’s economy. He’s always using the small ones, the ones who are willing to trust him in the hidden places where no one else is watching. Thank you for these powerful, freeing words!
Yes and amen, Jillian! So glad this was helpful to you.
AMEN! \0/
Holley,
Yes and Yes! With Jesus we are more than enough. Comparison will not steal our Joy!
Thank you for your wisdom Holley. Your outlook is just what I needed today!
Lisa
Wow, this devotional is perfect timing. I have been adjusting how much time I spend on social media because I kept comparing my journey to others. And I just wrote a poem about not feeling enough, but God tells us we are enough!
Holley,
It’s easy to get discouraged when we see others doing more & bigger things than us. Truth is God doesn’t care who does what. He created us unique & vastly different. He is looking for willing & humble hearts to do His will. For example: Each Friday you can find me at Loaves & Fishes Food Pantry. I’m packing food boxes, putting meals together, washing/drying dishes sweeping floor cleaning up-whatever needs to be done. Also help out when they have fundraisers. Volunteer with Recovery Soldiers by buying them needed items & assisting in cooking some when the church feeds them once a month. One of my favorite things to do is pick names off the Senior angel tree (senior citizens) & buy gifts for them. It warms my heart to know that they will have some gifts to open & also know that someone cares for them.
Blessings 🙂