I opened the blinds in my family room to see more than a foot of fresh snow covering the landscape outside our windows. Large, wet flakes continued falling thick and fast, determined to blanket everything.
It took my breath, the beauty of it.
Of course, seconds later, reality dampened my wonder. That blanket of twelve-inch snow would need to be removed one shovel-full at a time before the day’s end, including our driveway, front walkway, and back patio. It would be no easy feat, requiring an hour or two of back-breaking labor.
Even so, I felt the beauty drawing me outside. It needed to be experienced, not just witnessed.
After lacing up my snow boots, digging out my beanie and gloves, and slipping into my winter coat, I walked out the back door and got to work. Although the temperature hovered around the freezing mark, I didn’t feel cold. Instead, I felt inspired, energized, and in awe. It wasn’t easy work, as the snow was dense and heavy, but while I cleared the back patio, my husband tackled our very long driveway. And the combination of beauty and togetherness made the chore enjoyable.
Less than an hour later, I moved to the front walkway. Although tired and thoroughly drenched from the ongoing snowfall, I still savored being outdoors in the middle of it all. Until halfway through when another family member joined my husband and me in our snow-removal efforts. Without disclosing identities, I can tell you this:
They did not want to be shoveling snow. And they wanted to be sure I knew about it.
“This is so dumb.”
“Ugh, the snow is so heavy!”
“How long do I have to be out here?”
“I’m cold.”
“My hands hurt.”
“My back hurts.”
“Can I go in now?”
With each shovelful, I heard another complaint. To be honest, they weren’t wrong. The snow was heavy. The air was cold. Scoop, complain, scoop, whine. Do you know what happened?
With each new complaint, my fellow shoveler grew less effective at snow removal. It was as if their words impacted their ability to do the work. It was taking them twice as long to do half the work. It appeared speech impacted strength.
But do you know what else I noticed? Their words started to impact my strength, too. I grew more weary, more cold, and more defeated. What had been a joy became a painful drudgery. What had once held beauty became nothing but a burden.
“From the fruit of their mouth a person’s stomach is filled;
with the harvest of their lips they are satisfied.
The tongue has the power of life and death,
and those who love it will eat its fruit.”
Proverbs 18:20-21 NIV
Before you think I’m picking on one of my family members, I could provide multiple examples in which I played the complaining character. I’m a woman of many words, too many words sometimes. It’s not uncommon for me to say exactly what I think and feel at any given minute, even if it isn’t helpful.
But on the day of that snowstorm, I learned two eye-opening (and heart-humbling) lessons:
- Words hold the power of life and death for the person who says them.
- Words hold the power of life and death for the person who hears them.
Our words impact our ability to do hard things. And our words impact the ability of other people to do hard things. Yes, there are moments when we must speak the truth about the hard thing out loud. I’m afraid. This is hard. My heart aches. But if complaints dominate our conversation, the hard thing becomes the only thing. And any power we might gain from the Spirit within us gets swallowed up by a lesser voice.
Yes, our stories are heavy and overwhelming. Yes, at times we feel cold and alone. That’s the truth. But it isn’t the only truth. There is a bigger Truth, a stronger Truth, one that can help us dig out of any storm:
“Jesus answered, ‘I am the way and the truth and the life.'” (John 14:6 NIV)
“I will not leave you as orphans; I will come to you.” (John 14:18 NIV)
“Surely I am with you always, to the very end of the age.” (Matthew 28:20 NIV)
Now that’s a good word. Let’s make sure those are the words that get the most airtime. No matter the size of the storm.
Ruth Mills says
Perfectly timed encouragement! I have a task on my desk today I am dreading but your article has stopped me in my tracks. It’s mundane & laborious but telling myself it’s to be dreaded does not make it go away. My tune has changed to look at what I get to do & I’ll be able to point to a finished task. Whoo hoo! The steps to finish didn’t change but my self talk makes a huge difference. Thank you for stepping on my toes this morning! Blessings (((0)))
Michele Cushatt says
Ahhhhh well done, Ruth! I’m so encouraged and inspired by you!
Lynne Molyneaux says
Needed this today. Thank you!
Michele Cushatt says
Much love, sister.
Rita Harvey says
I read this site before I get out of bed every morning. Thanks for your comment, I so relate.
On another note, what are your thoughts on ghost writing?
Michele Cushatt says
Be encouraged, Rita!
Jill says
This was something my heart and my head needed today. God’s timing is always perfect.
Michele Cushatt says
Yes, his timing is amazing! As my dad used to say, “He is seldom early, but he’s never late.”
Lisa Wilt says
Michele-I have a dear friend who has had mouth cancer multiple times and I’m going to share your name with her. Her journey has been a hard one and she could use the encouragement. Thank YOU! And Happy First Day of March!
Kathy Francescon says
You are so pretty Lisa! And I can tell your soul is too! Blessings to you and yours!!
Kathy Francescon says
Praying for your friend…
Michele Cushatt says
I am so grateful for YOU, Lisa. The road your friend is walking is often brutal and completely overwhelming. I could not have made it through without the support of a circle of trusted and committed friends, carrying me one day at a time. You’re making a difference!
Flor says
I needed this today, and this week… In the middle of sorrow I was very blessed. Thank you Michelle, and thank God for this ministry.
Hugs!
Michele Cushatt says
I’m so sorry for your suffering, Flor. You’re not alone.
Janet W says
Amen Michele Amen \0/
This message is so powerful. Our words can make such an awesome difference yet also do such damage!
My daughter and son-in-law share 5 children. She is the first to admit ” we ALL should have a time out for our words that spout out our mouths! Luckily, we get to apologize.” I recently shared the in-courage blog with her. She will like this one…and relate to the beauty and hard work of the snow. They live in Iowa
Michele Cushatt says
Hi there, Janet. Unfortunately, I too often have caused damage with my words rather than life and joy. Working on it. 🙂 I probably need your daughter to put me in a time-out too! 🙂
Irene says
Thank you, Michele! This opened my eyes to the power of words.
Michele Cushatt says
Beautiful. Thanks, Irene.
Terry says
Amen! And perfect timing! Thanks so much Michele!
Michele Cushatt says
I’m so glad, Terry.
Kathy Francescon says
Michele, I relate your snow removal to sanding the 50 year old baseboards in my home! I have certainly worked hard and my muscles and joints have complained a time or two believe me! But what a joy God has given me in being right there with me and with every swish of the sand paper, I thank Him I am able to do it! At first I dreaded it and wanted to whine, but God has totally changed my mind set!! Praise His Goodness for unexpected blessings in the hard work!
Michele Cushatt says
Whew! Sanding baseboards is NOT easy, especially when the work is done on your hands and knees. Your poor back. 🙂 I love how you found joy even in the hard (and painful!) work before you. It IS a gift to be able to do hard work, even when it’s work we’d rather not do. Thanks for sharing, Kathy!
Becky L. says
Michele, thanks for the story you wrote about words that upset self and others. I’ve been through a rough time word wise especially with a daughter who has cancer and now removed from her. Upset times happened at home but I realize things not to say to her or my husband even she’s upset. She had surgery last week and we’re grateful to Jesus who is the physician of the world that healed her thru people praying for her. Also a good doctor who understands what to do with cancer patients. Have a blessed day.
Michele Cushatt says
Hi, dear Becky. Thank you for sharing vulnerably with us about your daughter’s diagnosis and hard journey. It’s not easy as a mom watching your child suffer! Thank you for allowing us to hold space with you here. You’re not alone!
Beth Williams says
Michele,
The old adage “sticks and stones may break my bones but words will never hurt” is but a lie. Words can hurt deeply. That’s why I keep my mouth shut most of time. Then there are times, usually at work (hospital), when I use my words for good. Each day I try to encourage people doing a good job I offer praise to them. Letting them know their efforts are appreciated. It just might be the lift they need to keep on.
Blessings 🙂