When my kids were tiny, they loved Thomas the Train and all his friends. I loved watching them click the magnets together to make long, colorful lines of trains, and all the train noises they made as they moved them along the wooden tracks. I could still tell you all of their names. Hiro and Percy were my personal favorites. Those toy trains are still treasured — we keep a bin full of them to hopefully pass on to our kids’ littles someday.
In the television series and books, there’s a label that Sir Topham Hatt, the train conductor, consistently gives to these beloved trains as a measure of their value. He calls Thomas, and those he approves of, “really useful” engines.
I remember reading that description in one of the books and thinking about how good it feels to be useful, while simultaneously feeling like something didn’t sit well about striving for that affirmation. The trains beam when they hear Sir Topham Hatt say they are really useful.
I can picture myself beaming over a similar affirmation. I’m sure I’ve chased after affirmations like that before. No matter how old we are, most of us want to feel the weight of our true value. We want to be assured that we matter. It can be so easy to lose our way and forget that our value and worth aren’t things that can slip away, nor something that we have to prove.
Eventually, I remember having to stop in the middle of reading one of those familiar stories aloud, and tell my son that being useful isn’t our purpose; our measure of usefulness doesn’t increase or decrease our value as image bearers who are loved by God. I wanted to make sure he knew that God is not like Sir Topham Hatt, and honestly, I need the reminder too. I find this message of praising usefulness consistently wrapped around everything in our culture like a security blanket.
It sneaks up on us in our friendships when we find ourselves seeking to be the one who’s most needed. It follows us into motherhood like a phantom of the perfect mom who would never have kids who behave that way or struggle this way. It shows up in our communities and our ministry efforts when we sign up or raise our hand while secretly hoping others will notice how often we give of ourselves in the name of love, instead of from an overflow of being loved.
We all have Sir Topham Hatts in our lives (sometimes it’s us). The characters may change over time, and so might the settings. What’s elevated as most useful and good can change too, and I think that makes it even harder to see the lie woven alongside half-truths. I easily forget that my worth is unchangeable and my value is inherent. My usefulness or lack of doesn’t impact my value as an image bearer.
Everything about Jesus tells us that our worth isn’t dependent on what we do or don’t do, how much we help or fail to, and what we achieve or not. Even in Jesus’ own life, God the Father says He is loved and pleased with Jesus before He begins preaching, telling stories, leading, and healing the sick. “And a voice from heaven said, ‘This is my dearly loved Son, who brings me great joy” (Matthew 3:17).
Being delighted in and loved is the spiritual womb from which Jesus’s ministry is birthed. It’s the intimate place He goes back to again and again throughout His ministry and it’s the place He offers us to begin from and return to as well.
The trains we keep in our bin are full of memories. Watching my kids build and play, make funny train noises and voices, and enjoy themselves was delightful because their joy and mere presence have immeasurable worth. There’s nothing useful about it.
Sister, your joy and mere presence have immeasurable worth too.
You are perfectly loved.
You have inherent value.
You have nothing to prove.
You do not have to be useful; only loved.
Ruth Mills says
I love your point that even God declared Jesus loved before Jesus began His ministry on earth. I’ve had my “usefulness” interrupted more than once with health issues & aging itself slows what I used to could do. But God’s love has never waned & He promises it never will! Thank you for sharing your story. Blessings (((0)))
Tasha says
Thank you, Ruth. Isn’t that comforting and freeing to think about?
Chris Jackson says
A message this morning to ponder for perspective. Our value in the eyes of God is not based on our usefulness…..we are loved regardless of our spiritual gifts and how we utilize them. We use them to model Christ’s love…..not for recognition of our good works.
Tasha says
Thanks for sharing that, Chris.
Lisa Wilt says
Thank you Tasha. I can relate so well. Thomas the Tank was my son’s favorite toy. He’s now grown and I have kept all the trains and wooden tracks for my sweet grandson, Elijah, who is now 1.
More than relating on this physical level, I can relate on a spiritual level. Because I am wired to “do,” I “do.” I love to serve but…my value doesn’t come from serving.
I am loved. Just. Because. I am His!
Tasha says
Amen, Lisa. And we are saving these trains for grandkids someday!
Irene says
Thank you, Tasha! Your words are like being wrapped in a cozy, warm blanket!
Tasha says
What a kind thing to say – I’m so glad you felt that way, Irene.
Christine says
I hope everyone at (in)courage knows how much I value and appreciate this daily devotion. You can ask my Women’s group and they will tell you that I am the official (unofficial) spokesperson for (in)courage. These messages are so relatable. I share them so often with others that I know will be encouraged by them. We have used the Empowered devotional in our Women’s Breakfasts for over a year and now, and we are about to switch to the new 100 days of strength starting in March. God is using this platform to help so many women. I could not let another day go by without letting you all know the impact you have made.
♥Christine
Tasha says
Christine, thank you for sharing that, and for sharing the words here with your own community. We are so glad you are part of our community.
Janet W says
Absolutely beautiful. Thank you Tasha for reminding us we are wonderfully made and loved just as we are xoxox
Have a wonderful blessed Wednesday sisters \0/
Tasha says
Thank you, Janet. Amen.
Jane says
Thank you so much for this article! I am going to send it to my elderly mom, who is really struggling with feeling of no value, especially as her eyesight worsens. Please keep her in your prayers.
Brenda M. Russell says
I think I have made things way too complicated for myself. God is Love. He will never change. I must allow Him to Love me. Then I will learn to love others.
God Looks at the motivation of our hearts. He does not look at our cars, houses, clothes, jewelry, investment port folios, or our retirement plans. We are His Image Bearers. It does not matter about stocks and bonds but it matters about Salvation, Forgiveness and Love.
Thank You Lord for Your Grace And Mercy.
Amen.
Brenda
LaNette says
As I have mentioned in previous comments, I am in a long dark valley right now and I’m really struggling with guilt over not “doing” or being “useful”. Love had requirements in my household growing up. I’m in my 50’s and I am still really struggling with accepting God’s love for me just as I am, where I sit here in my pit of despair. This line, at the end of your article, will be an ongoing blessed reminder for me:
“You do not have to be useful; only loved.”
Michelle K says
This was just what I needed to read today.
Cindy says
Dear Tasha
God bless you for this article. So true!! Love it.
Also Love Incourage stories which are so from the hearts. It’s amazing how as women our life stories resonate with other women, across oceans..all the way in South East Asia, such as myself. Truths about our Jesus, our Lord are truths..
I have just from mid2023 retired 1.5yr earlier than anticipated. the questions from everyone has been the same, albeit In different words, various tones of wonder.
Ie “From a highly-held titled position in a big multi company making top decision, constantly on the move, wheeling & dealing, don’t you feel “less-than-useful” “less relevant” “not worthy anymore”??”
I get quizzical looks when I reply kindly “my identity has always been I am the beloved daughter of God, first and last. I am content.”
And yes, only those grounded by the grace of God in Christ, smiles and nods.
God bless us all in our journey of faith.
Beth Williams says
Tasha,
I know deep down there is nothing to prove. Yet there are times I want to prove myself. Prove I can do this or that. God gave me a full-time position. The duties were not in line with my skills. I often felt useless & like I had wasted my life. Fast forward to 202 & Jesus gave me a different position within the same unit (ICU). It uses more of my clerical skills. Now I feel so useful & helpful. My attitude has changed. Sounds silly I know. God loves me no matter what I’m doing. Just do it with all my heart & soul as a worship to God.
Blessings 🙂