Several years ago I accidentally eavesdropped on a conversation I will never forget.
I was walking Jude to class and we took a shortcut across the first-grade blacktop. Children were busy playing hopscotch and four square, absorbed in their own asphalt worlds. Suddenly a little girl bolted from a nearby classroom and ran right in front of us toward another girl, shouting, “There’s a new student! We have a new student!”
Her friend lunged toward her with a skip and a hop. Eyes wide with delight, she shouted back, “A new student? In our class?”
The first friend nodded yes and both girls broke into glorious grins and galloped toward the brick building to welcome their new friend. Yes, it was beautifully obvious that they had already decided this new student would be their friend. Without knowing the student’s race or gender, whether they packed a lunch or would buy in the cafeteria, without knowing the color of their hair or if they wore glasses, before knowing if this student liked soccer or handball or My Little Pony, they wanted this student to be their friend. These girls didn’t need to know if the new student would get picked up by their dad or go to daycare, whether they were good at reading or math or needed extra help with everything . . . without knowing anything other than the promise of their presence, the two first graders unconditionally accepted their peer.
I wish I could have followed the girls inside that classroom to witness the moment that new student received their warm welcome. Would the gift of instant friends ease the knot in their stomach? Would the bright smiles of those eager to meet them turn nervous fidgeting into a shared grin? I think it’s safe to say that being enthusiastically accepted made a big difference in the new student’s day — maybe it even impacted their whole week, year, or school career.
I can’t help but wonder what life would be like if we all embraced someone new and unknown with the same excitement as those wide-eyed and tenderhearted six-year-olds. As adults, we like to wait and size people up. We’re tentative about opening our hearts, minds, or lives to others before going through a thorough checklist. Whether it’s intentional or subconscious, we go through an “Are you worthy of my attention and affection” evaluation.
We wait to see how many boxes a new person will tick that align with our preferences:
Personality
Education
Hobbies
Cultural expressions
Political or religious views
Career path
Family makeup and dynamics
Financial status
Culinary likes, dislikes, and skills
Do they have Disneyland hookups or a retail discount I could take advantage of?
We withhold our friendship until we know whether we will get along or if they always wear that much perfume. Have you ever been guilty of judging someone by a first impression? Maybe even assigning value based on their surface appearance? Gulp. I have. And if you’re honest, I’m guessing you’re not exempt either.
It’s not that every person needs to be a BFF or trusted confidant or an intimate part of our lives. But every person does deserve to be respected and treated with kindness. So rather than leading with subtle scrutiny and secret judgment, what if we made acceptance our default? What would happen if we automatically saw the new guy at work or the woman behind us at church, the family that just moved in next door, or the parent standing alone on the soccer sidelines as a welcomed new friend? What would happen if we treated every “new kid” (young or old ) as wanted, welcomed, delighted in?
Sit with that for a minute.
Often, when we think of encouragement, we think of building up, complimenting, or supporting the people already intertwined in our lives — our spouse or sibling, child or parent, coworker or best friend. That is so good and beautiful and necessary. But at its core, encouragement stems from the basic acknowledgment that every person deserves to be seen, valued, and accepted. So it’s not just the kind words we say, but the welcome that we live.
Here’s the great news: We can all be encouragers wherever we are, wherever we go! We can invite the new parent at the PTA meeting to sit next to us. We can hold the door for the mom whose arms are full of groceries and babies. We can smile wide and say hello to the neighbor who speaks a different language. We can leave a little potted plant on the new girl’s desk at work with a sticky note that says, “Welcome to the team. I’m here if you need anything.” We can acknowledge someone we cross paths with today, look them in the eye, and tell them we’re so glad they’re here.
After dropping Jude off, I walked back across the blacktop, through the freshly cut grass, and out the rear school gate with a smile stretched across my face. Two six-year-olds were simple difference makers — not only to the new students they welcomed but to me — a thirty-something woman who merely overheard their kindness was impacted. And now the ripple extends to you as I share their story. The students at Cullen Elementary School were there to learn, yet able to teach so much.
May the learning (and jump-for-joy encouraging welcome) continue with us.
This article is an adapted excerpt from Becky’s book The Simple Difference: How Every Small Kindness Makes a Big Impact. Snag a copy for more heartwarming stories and practical ways to live a life of kindness and encouragement every day.
“Now may the God who gives endurance and encouragement grant you to live in harmony with one another, according to Christ Jesus, so that you may glorify the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ with one mind and one voice. Therefore welcome one another, just as Christ also welcomed you, to the glory of God.”
Romans 15:5-7 CSB
September 12th is National Day of Encouragement, a day set aside to bring encouragement to others. As a valued member of the (in)courage and DaySpring community, we know you share encouragement all year round – thank you! We want to help you be ready to cheer on others not only on the National Day of Encouragement, but on any day.
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http://kelliejohnson.org says
What a wonderful story to start my day. I’m on staff at a local church and today is my day to share a little devotion at our staff meeting. What better message than to encourage us all to be welcoming! Many who come to church are simply looking for a smile and a warm greeting, may we all be eager and even giddy like those school children, to be that for someone else.
-Kellie
Becky Keife says
Amen, Kellie! Thanks for passing on the encouragement!
Madeline says
Wonderful post Becky. I’m getting ready to volunteer at my church’s thrift shop and I will be sure to remember this and spread it around!
Becky Keife says
Have a wonderful day, Madeline! And I love that your church as a thrift shop. So cool!
Ruth Mills says
What a great lesson from 6 year olds! Thanks for sharing Becky! I’m challenging myself & my Titus 2 girls to make every day national encouragement day! Blessings (((0)))
Becky Keife says
What a fantastic challenge, Ruth! Love it.
Ginny says
Becky,
This message warmed my heart!! Thank you for encouraging me to reach out to the “new gal”!! Miss seeing you and your beautiful family!! Blessings…
Becky Keife says
Ginny! I’m so glad this was meaningful to you today! Hugs from California!
Cheryl says
Love this message post .. heading to my Director meeting for Senior Centre then I volunteer as a senior myself , in the coffee shop. Yes indeed .. so many hurting just want to stop by for a coffee and have someone says.. “Hello how are you doing..welcome” a little smile and sentence is all it takes to start conversation and show God’s love.. both are FREE and B.ESSINGS. “Go out and MAKE it a Great Day for others and yourself‼️
Becky Keife says
“Go out and MAKE it a Great Day for others and yourself‼️” YES!! Love that! Blessings to you as you love and serve well.
Brenda M. Russell says
I’m so glad to hear about the jump for joy encouragement that should
be our goal every day.
I’m so delighted when someone greets me with their smiles. My heart feels light and I want to think about butterflies and how all children enjoy watching butterflies and I do too.
We all have the ability to be encouragers and we all need encouragement sometimes.
Let’s look to our Heavenly Father for Guidance because He is so Gracious to His children.
With Gratitude,
Brenda
Your Sister in Christ
Becky Keife says
Amen, Brenda! Well said.
BC from BC says
Thank you for this devotion. As a young girl I was bullied, and words really do hurt. They stick with you for a very long time. I know how it feels to be encouraged and acknowledged, it can brighten your day to know that someone cares. I want to be that for someone, friend, stranger, neighbor, family member, whoever God puts in my path. We really don’t know how much people are hurting out there. I want to be an example of God’s Love.
Loretta says
Oh the memories this brought to my almost 78 year old heart. I grew up attending a very small rural elementary school. It wasn’t often we got new students but it was like Christmas when we did. The best thing was that we felt like the recipients rather than the givers. Whether it was the excitement of someone new or just the attitude of the community at large, we all tried hard to be welcoming.
To this day I remember each of the “newbies”
I believe that it is one of our greatest tasks, so to speak, that we be welcoming as we endeavor to preach gospel truth. Christ himself was inclusive and welcoming to all that would listen to His teachings. Should we be any less?
A smile is the easiest way to show others our desire for a possibility of connection. Many years ago I lived and worked in downtown LA. As I walked down 7th avenue, I made it a habit to smile and say good morning to those I passed and it was almost hilarious to see the shocked looks I received on doing so. Let us continue to shock others on our journey through this world. We will never know just how much these acts of recognition may impact our world.
But wouldn’t it be fun to watch.
Remembering the song about “One little candle” bringing light to an otherwise dark world.
We are also reminded to be salt and light. Amazing how something so simple can be so impactfull
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
Children can teach us so much. We as Adults are quick to be pickie about who we be friends with and don’t be friends with. Kids are the funniest things as we can hear the funniest stories from them especially when they are talking to their friends. Some can be cruel with words that hurt of kids. Like us Adults with our words. We have to be also as Adults careful with our words. Remember as old Christian friend of mine alot older than me now in glory once said to me. It is so true to do with our Heavenly Father Bidden or not Budden or Heavenly Father hears all we says and do. So we have to be careful what we say to people as Adults. Just like some kids with their words. Remember our Heavenly Father hears all that is said from us. We want as Adults to be giving in our words God love in everything we say. So we don’t say things that are not nice. But glorify our Heavenly Father. I say Amen to that. Saying things that kind loving and caring and being those kinds of people as well to others. Like the kids song “Jesus Hand were kinds Hands doing good to all” With our words we can also encourage others too. Love today reading. Keeping you all incourage in prayer. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xx
Beth Williams says
Becky,
Those t56 yr. olds are exactly why Jesus said we need to be like children. They are accepting of people no matter what. They have no agenda but to befriend a new comer. Why then can’t adults do that?
God has gifted me with encouragement. Each time someone new comes to church I will stop by & say hello, welcome. Also thank EVS (cleaning) crew when they do a good job. There are a few coworkers that go out of their way to assist me in my job. They get a huge thanks from me. Constantly wanting to encourage others as I have been encouraged in the past.
Last night I volunteered at Loaves & Fishes Food Bank. My goal is to make everyone feel loved & appreciated. You will hear me say “have a great weekend” “God loves you”. It’s my way of spreading God’s love to others.
Blessings 🙂