A sweet friend sent me a message on Snapchat. The image was her darkened living room, with curtains drawn, and I knew immediately that this dear soul had fallen into a deep malaise.
Over the top of the pictures were words that she’d typed: “I am trying to pull myself together. But I just can’t.”
I clicked on the reply button, my fingers hovering over the letters as I searched for the right words to encourage my friend.
Because of the way I’m wired and because I’m a product of the culture in which I’ve been raised, I immediately thought of all the ways I myself have tried to “pull myself together.” A few action steps, mixed in with some positive “you got this” affirmations, came to mind.
But then I remembered the truth I need to know, and maybe you need to know it too:
You actually DON’T have to “pull yourself together” on a hard day.
In fact, sometimes you CAN’T.
Sometimes, all you can do is lift your chin to the sky and say to God, “Send help.”
And that is enough.
We tend to put a ton of pressure on ourselves to slap on a pretend smile and march forward, even amidst the pain we didn’t cause, the heartbreak we didn’t see coming, or the grief that we can’t quite move past.
You don’t have to do that.
You are allowed to break down.
You are allowed to weep.
You are allowed to cancel plans.
You are allowed to take a nap.
You are allowed to simply “be.”
The truth is, you don’t “got this.” Only God does.
Through Scripture, God reminds us that we don’t have to rely on our own strength to pull ourselves out of a funk. Instead, God repeatedly offers comfort along these lines: “I’ll sit with you in the funk.”
One of the Scriptures that assures me of this is Psalm 34.
These words were written by David, and it is traditionally believed that he wrote them while he was in a cave – a very dark place not unlike my friend’s room. During that time, David was fleeing from King Saul, who was pursuing him out of jealousy and a desire to kill him.
The psalm reflects David’s trust in God’s protection and deliverance even in the midst of difficult circumstances.
In Psalm 34, David repeatedly draws our attention to God’s comfort and provision.
Right now, if you’re in a dark “cave” of your own, imagine David Snapchatting you the following words from his own dark cave:
“The eyes of the LORD are on the righteous and his ears are attentive to their cry” (Psalm 34:15).
“The righteous cry out, and the LORD hears them; he delivers them from all their troubles” (Psalm 34:17).
“The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit” (Psalm 34:18).
Not once does David say to pull yourself together. All of the “pulling” comes from God, as well as all of the comfort.
Indeed, God’s got this, not you.
So, when I sent a message back to my friend, that’s exactly what I told her. She could simply … be.
The same is true for you.
If you can’t pull yourself out of the dark place you’re in right now, maybe you actually don’t need to do that today. Try this instead: Invite Jesus to come into the room WITH you — and let Him just hold you.
If you’re currently in a dark place, desperate to experience God’s presence, Stuff I’d Only Tell God, is for you. It’s a journal that gives you space and permission to be right where you are, in your healing.
Excellent article and encouragement in relying on the truth of scripture as to how big and sufficient our God is.
Thanks for being here, Marilyn. I am so glad to know that this article encouraged you.
This is what I’m learning to do and reminding myself it’s okay to not always have it all together.
Yes, Maura! That’s it exactly. Have a wonderful week. Thanks for being here.
This was so helpful Jennifer. And it’s nice to feel validated during those times I just sit and “be” because I don’t have it in me to deal with life or feelings. Yes, God help me.
I’m glad to know this helped you, as you begin a new week. Take care!
This is so comforting to me, as I have been in that dark room so many times. Trying so hard to pull myself together, for all those around me, who don’t understand my tears and my pain. But, God always understands and He is with me, catching all my tears and healing the hurts. Only God can perfect that which concerneth me.
Thank you for your words, Kathy. I love that visual of God catching all our tears.
Your line, “Invite Jesus to come into the room WITH you — and let Him just hold you” was PERFECT, thank you!!
I’m so, so glad to know that spoke to you, Cheyla. May you sense Him in the room with you today.
Thank you, Jennifer! I am not in that dark place right now. But…when that day, those moments, that place comes, I will try to remember your words. And God’s words in the Psalms.
So glad this spoke to you, Irene! I am going to remember these verses on my own “dark” days as well.
I’ve found myself breaking down and crying, some people tell me to try to be strong but I don’t feel strong at all. My mom is in rehab after having a stroke, and I’m worried about so many things and wondering what God might want me to do… Thank you for this devotional, I will try to remember to ask God to be with me when I break down
Isn’t that something how people’s reaction is often to try to get us to “be strong?” When God says to us, “be weak, because my strength is made perfect in weakness.”
Thank You Lord for sharing this uncertain time with me. Sometimes I have encouragement for others but I forget to encourage myself. Today I did my college course homework. It was not difficult after I located the template that my Professor wanted my class to use. It was time consuming and I was not trying to copy what had already been written. I was reading for comprehension and then I had to answer questions in my own words careful not to seem like I wanted to say what had been said already.
If I had to go back to college, I would need prayer ! I haven’t been in college since May, 1980 and I am 64 years wise today. Smile.
I don’t see how young people have time to go to a movie if they keep up with their reading assignments, projects, video previews, replies to other classmates on discussion questions and getting ready for the next quiz. Wow, that’s a lot !
I can certainly see how I would need to just “rest my thinking” very often after homework.
I’m sure I should take this advice more often being a wife, a mother, a friend and a daughter to my mother. It’s not that I don’t enjoy seeing everyone happy and well loved but my energy level is not the same as when my three girls were home. Sweet memories, they needed something and God helped me find a way. Thank You Lord for the Grace and Mercy You Showered on me to raise my children. Thank You Lord for the Blessing of strength to help my mother and my grandmother over the years. Thank You Lord for the Guidance You Gave me to work jobs when my supervisors did not seem to always appreciate hard work. Thank You Lord for Your Hand of Favor on my Life to learn about You in Sunday School and Church over these years. Well I will end this message saying Lord, I have not because I asked not, now I am asking You, the only One who can Give me Strength and Peace while doing the things I need to do, in Jesus name.
Amen.
God bless your steps.
Brenda
Your Sister in Christ
Thank you for your post, which is such a great reminder of who we are in CHRIST. As believers, we often try to act strong and
you,” got this” in our lives. What a treasure the Word of GOD is to help, guide, bless and empower us to look to the HOLY GOD
of Israel, whether we are up or down. HE is the only one who sees me through my every day life, no matter what the situation is.
I’m so thankful to the LORD for enabling me to read HIS Word, and trust HIM.
AMEN.
Love this. So true.
So simple but so powerful a reminder!
Thank you
I needed this today. Thanks!
Jennifer,
Working in a hospital during Covid was hard. The community sent encouragement all the time. Our motto was “God’s got this”. It was our way of saying to each other you don’t have to have it all together. My advice for anyone going through a dark or hard time would be to cry out to God, ask the hard questions, take a nap & just be still & know that I am God.
Blessings 🙂