I almost missed it. My dedication to checking off my to-do list nearly hijacked a precious opportunity to be with the ones I love.
My oldest son and daughter-in-law were traveling through my state on their way home from visiting my daughter-in-law’s family. They asked if they could spend the night since they had another ten hours of travel. Of course! I hustled around my house for the next few hours, scrubbing floors, changing the guest bed, and considering the food situation. As they pulled into the driveway, I greeted them with a smile, but my mind began fretting over finding time to grab groceries to fill my empty fridge and obsessing about the one pillowcase I couldn’t find.
As soon as they arrived, they announced their plans to go to the zoo. “Come with us, Mom,” they begged. My heart jumped at the thought, but my mind insisted that my empty fridge and unanswered work emails needed attention first. “No, you go ahead. It will be a disaster if I don’t get a few things done.”
The kids drove off and I grabbed my vacuum cleaner. Moments later, my mind changed its mind and screamed at me: “What are you doing? You see these kids a few times a year, and you’re worried about returning emails and cleaning the house?”
I wonder if Martha had this same type of “a-ha” moment but ignored it. In Luke 10, Jesus and the disciples stopped by her home to visit. Since this is described as Martha’s home, scholars suggest that she had the means to host several guests. Martha put her heart into creating a warm, welcoming environment, but frustration set in when her sister, Mary, sat down to listen to Jesus instead of assisting Martha with making their guests comfortable.
For all of the discussions around if she was right or mistaken for tattling on Mary, Jesus’ response to Martha is full of discernment and encouragement for those of us who can focus on the to-do list and forget about who we’re doing the list for.
But the Lord said to her, “My dear Martha, you are worried and upset over all these details! There is only one thing worth being concerned about. Mary has discovered it, and it will not be taken away from her.”
Luke 10:41-42
Scripture describes Jesus and Martha as friends, so Jesus’ words aren’t spoken in rebuke or anger. Jesus doesn’t diminish Martha’s generosity or her giftings. Yet, Jesus offered a divine a-ha moment. Jesus taught Martha that if she stuck too closely to her expectations, she was in danger of missing the precious “it” Mary had discovered. What is that “it”? Whatever God wanted to do for her or around her at that moment for His glory and Martha’s good.
There will always be a tension between relationships and responsibilities. At times, we must lean more one way than the other.
Is God nudging you to do a little less hustling and a little more holding space so that you can be present with others?
What if the best way to live in your faith today is to be more present with your family or more focused on just sitting quietly with God? Most of the time, our to-do list can wait, but time . . . we can’t get back.
I called my kids and asked them to come back and pick me up. We spent a glorious afternoon at the zoo enjoying moments that weren’t particularly epic or breathtaking, but I’ll remember them for years to come. We walked around and pointed things out to each other, even though we’d gone to the zoo countless times. We laughed as we watched a 100-year-old giant tortoise who loved to escape at 1 mph to eat at the zoo café. Even though my son is thirty years old and an Army officer, my old mama bear instinct roared to life as we watched two giant brown bears fight it out over a stick. I stood ready to toss my kid over my shoulder and run if those bears got too rowdy.
I almost missed this experience because I thought that my emails couldn’t wait.
Today, you have chances and choices. Chances to be fully present with those you love and choices about what you need to do and what can wait. Where can you invite God’s Holy Spirit to discern what must be done and what can wait?
God doesn’t want you to miss whatever it is that He has waiting for you today, whether it’s seeing Him in a new and significant way or the chance to spend time being truly present with those you love.
Barb, this is so true! When I see the dust you could plant crops in on the living room side table I can only pray God is pleased with my choices to spend time with people over my dust rag. On the other hand He has given us our home & possessions to be responsible with. His nudges will always push me to the balance & I must choose His prompts over my own wants. Blessings! (((0)))
Ruth, that’s a great visual. I’m glad that you’ve let that dust be and enjoyed time with those you love. Continued blessings to you!
I love this our time is not promised so put away the things to do so you can be with the ones you love!
Exactly! You nailed it, Cristin. Thanks for stopping by (in)courage today!
Wow did this hit home. Guilty of being a Martha. I guess the emails can wait.
Madeline Thank you for sharing your a-ah moment because other women needed to see your comment and know that they weren’t alone.
I love how the Lord used you, and your eyes were open to experience his teaching moment. That moment allowed you to enjoy an afternoon with your family. Without that lesson, you wouldn’t be able to share with us – I think there are many of us who love a good list who need to read this, probably more than once. Thank you for sharing this.
Thank you for that encouragement, Jill. God is good – and I love how He uses us to help each other. So glad that you stopped by (in)courage today.
Target successful…my heart. First it was the to do list but then it was the phone scrolling all to say BE PRESENT when and with who you can – you will never regret it while you will the other two. Habits are so pursuing. Lord help me find the off ramps. Thank you!
Charise, yes! You’ve got it! Thank you for sharing “BE PRESENT” – That’s a great reminder for us all today.
Barb, this is delightful! I am happy to say that at least this time, during my stepdaughter’s visit from Texas, I made better choices to be present and not overly concerned with housekeeping or even my exercise class, which would have taken me away and missed some of the far too little time I have with my family.
Love the turtle story. It made me laugh.
Celebrating that victory with you, Gail! Thank you for sharing it with us today.
Years ago I flew 1200 miles with my 1 year old to visit my in-laws. I was sad that they weren’t at the airport to greet us as we got off the plane. Five minutes later they arrived explaining they ran late picking my mil up from work. But she was done-she had taken the ENTIRE week off of work to be with me and her grandson. That made a huge impression on me. Choose people over your own plans. I’m a grandma now and remember this act from years ago. It truly set a course for me to follow.
Thank you Barb for sharing and encouraging all of us to be as present as we possibly can with those we love. And maybe with those we struggle to love as well.
Hi Molly, what a precious gift that your in-laws gave you all of those years ago! I love how you said “choose people over plans” – great nugget there. Thanks for joining us here on (in)courage today!
Barb, thank you for this timely reminder! Balance is something I have been struggling with. I can be more like Mary & not enough like Martha sometimes. Praising Adonai for you & your testimony.
Truth!
Thank you for bringing this to light as I believe many of us fall victim to the to-do list.
You are exactly right, Barb! I hear what you’re saying!
Barbara love this reading. Time is precious. Time with love ones or special friends especially if you don’t see them that often is precious. Things that can wait until another time or day let them wait. As you may or never never get that time with them again. Now is the time to make the memories with them. Not be so busy making your home tidy for them or getting all your chores or jobs done. As they are you may never see either again. As you or they can be here today or gone tomorrow. Like an Uncle of mine went to bed for a lie down because had sore head never woke up again. That make me and his wife and Family see life is precious. So when you have time to spend with your Family and Friend do. All the things you have to do that are not important they can wait. You can do them another day. Do be like Martha having to have everything perfect giving of why no one is helping you. Stop and let be. If don’t get done. Let get done another day. Enjoy the time you have with your Family or Friends. Making good times and memories with them. I say Amen to that. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little keeping you all in incourage in my prayers xx
Meant to say don’t be Martha why are you worry about having everything done and perfect. Sorry for the mistake. Please forgive me. Love Dawn
Oooooh. My to do list is nonexistent, lol. Because I feel like SUCH a failure when I make lists! I never get the things done I think I am going to, and wind up doing other things. My “thoughts” when I first retired have alllll taken a back burner to watching my baby granddaughter Monday through Thursday while my daughter and son in law are working. At their house. Because they work from home and want to still participate too. So in the process, my projects I thought I would have time to do in my own home have gone out the window. But I can NEVER get these moments back; I learned that the hard way in working full time the entire time our daughters were growing up. Not missing things again if I can help it.
Some days I’m better tuned in and other days I’m guilty as charged. Thank you for sharing this story from your life, Barb. The part I love best is that you had the gumption to call your kids and have them come back to get you. I bet they were thrilled to do it too and make those memories together. Thank you for this important reminder!!
We got caught up in our written and mental to do list. We need to recognize when we need to slow down or put off something. We need to be still. I’m a lost maker and a lane by nature. The last few years since a friend of mine died – I have not been as intentional about doing it even though it makes my life easier. God knows our plans and he directs our paths. The incourage planner looks amazing.
“We have chances and choices.” Thank you for that timeless reminder.
God didn’t nudge me. He pushed me hard and said “be still.” I have still not adjusted to “being still,” but I have been present in so many more of those moments than I would have been, and I have had so many valuable conversations with my teens that would not have had a chance to happen. Most importantly, my habits of prayer and devotion are greatly improved, and my life is so much better for the richness added to it from my greater awareness of His Word and how very applicable it is to the struggles of today. And, despite my discomfort, I have full faith that the path He has put me own is His path for me, and I understand now that His plans are not necessarily my plans. Great message, thank you.
Barb,
After a long week at work I usually want a day or two just by myself. The time is used to cook meals, do laundry & just relax. Even though I get tired & there is much to do I still made time for friends yesterday (07/14). It was the birthday for two of them. A bunch of women got together & just had a good time talking & enjoying each other. Then later that day I went to Loaves & Fishes Food Bank to help out with preparing meals & food boxes. I got to see people I hadn’t seen in a while & meet new volunteers. This coming Sunday the women of Biltmore Baptist will be getting together to enjoy a meal. Another chance to meet new people & enjoy friendships. Sure I’ll be tired but friendships are worth the effort. Being present in people’s lives is so important. You never know when God will call them home.
Blessings 🙂
I needed that reminder. I tend to be a Martha most of the time and am trying very hard at changing my priorities with God’s help, of course. Sitting even with family has not been acceptable. I’m doing better with age.
Thank you for this! I just went through a stressful couple of weeks and now have some health issues that are making me slow way down. It’s not how I operate, I tend to be a Mary. I believe God is walking me through this time to teach me what’s important and give me more time to spend in his word.
Thank you Barb for sharing your heart. I can relate to being a Martha so much in my lifetime. Regrets for the occassions I’ve missed out on with my grown children aren’t able to be retrieved, although God has strengthened me with making the “better choice” so much much more than I used to. I still find myself struggling with my “to do” lists, and slowing down for what is more important. I love it when I plainly hear God’s voice re-directing me to stop and spend quiet time with him or an elderly parent for example.