I had a wonderful time with one of my best pals the other night. I never imagined saying that about someone more than forty years older than me who was born in another country. I never imagined I would love someone so much with whom I had so little in common. She has never been a mother or sister, and I’ve never been an artist or engineer. She’s never written a book and I’ve never traveled the world. I don’t know what it’s like to lose my husband or live through WWII, and she doesn’t know what it’s like to live with clinical anxiety.
But for all our differences, there is always common ground to be found.
We both have an affinity for houseplants, reading, and a good cup of coffee. We both adore mountains and trees and changing leaves. We both believe life is better with pie and gratitude. And every time we’re together, I learn something new about my beautifully aged friend that makes me love her even more.
As we sat together near first base, watching my two older sons play baseball as the late afternoon sky turned to golden dusk and the nearby foothills, palm trees, and pines popped like charcoal silhouettes against the sky, I learned that once Christel sliced her leg open while skiing. When she got to urgent care, the doctor told her the numbing shots might hurt as bad as the actual stitches. So she said, “Well then, just sew me up! But make sure you do it tight because I’ve got a downhill ski race in three days.”
She threw her head back and laughed. It was almost as if her decades of lines and wrinkles faded into the shadows of wild memories. Though her eighty-something-year-old body can longer shred the slopes, run a 10K, soar upside down in a prop plane, or whitewater raft (yes, she did all those things!), her adventurous spark and joy for life is still alive and well.
And I almost missed the gift of her story and pleasure.
Earlier in the day, Christel came to mind. She often does. Several times a week I stop by with a cup of coffee (with cream and sugar, just how she likes it, and only half full because she and her husband always shared just one cup). How sweet is that? Or she comes over for dinner, or I drop off a plate of tacos or a bowl of chili if we’re running back and forth between kids’ sports. We’ve grown into a sweet rhythm of sharing life. My boys take her trashcans in and out every week. She pops onto our porch with a box of See’s candy or pie from Marie Calendar’s. Bless her.
Over the years God has taught me to pay attention to His Spirit and to whom He wants to love through my presence. This has especially been true with Christel. There was the time He used my dusty skills in medical billing to alleviate a source of her stress. Or the time He showed me how a chocolate cake can be a step of obedience. I’ve learned to delight in responding to the Spirit’s guidance, even if it costs me temporary awkwardness or inconvenience.
But when I felt the nudge to invite Christel to the baseball game, I hesitated. The thought crossed my mind that it would be easier to go to the game alone. Alone I could listen to a podcast or sneak in a chapter of Jami Nato’s book between innings. Alone I wouldn’t have to worry if she was hot or cold or needed a play-by-play explanation. But alone also isn’t as rich as together. Alone doesn’t make room for someone else to belong. If I had chosen alone, Christel would have spent another evening alone too.
I pulled out my phone and scooted closer to my dear friend. She doesn’t understand selfies, but I told her I like capturing memories, so she obliged and gave me a little wave to boot.
I showed her the photo and she asked, “How can I get a print of this?”
“I’ll get one made for you.”
She smiled wide and said she will send it to her family in Germany.
I think God was smiling too. He delights when His kids take care of one another. He is thrilled when we soak in His love for us so much that we can’t help but let it pour out to others.
Hebrews 13:16 says, “Don’t neglect to do what is good and to share, for God is pleased with such sacrifices.”
Philippians 2:4 reminds us, “Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too.”
And of course, Jesus commands, “Love each other. Just as I have loved you, you should love each other” (John 13:34).
Who in your life can you love and look out for this week? Who might be waiting for an invitation to belong? I guarantee they won’t be the only ones marked by the gift of together.
For more encouragement in loving people right where you are with exactly what you have, grab a copy of Becky’s book, The Simple Difference: How Every Small Kindness Makes a Big Impact.
Gwen says
This is simply wonderful. What an absolute joy it can be to share life but who would know unless we make it happen?
Becky Keife says
Exactly, Gwen!
Madeline says
So sweet. This brought tears to my eyes. There are so many thoughts and emotions going on right now I don’t know where to begin. I guess plain and simple thank you for sharing this.
Becky Keife says
You’re so welcome, Madeline. Thank you for reading and letting me know that it was meaningful to you. That blesses my heart.
Sammy says
Such a beautiful story about a sweet friendship. Thank you for sharing your heart ❤️
Becky Keife says
I appreciate that, Sammy!
Dee says
My husband and I are in our late 60’s early 70’s and we just went to a new church since we just relocated to a new state. A very young couple spent lots of time with us after the service. Because of your lovely story I believe I’m getting that ‘nudge’ from the Lord to invite them over for a bite to eat. Yup, we’re over 40 years older, but your encouragement gave me the boost I needed.
Thank you Becky! I’ll let you know how it went
Becky Keife says
That makes me so happy, Dee! Yes, please let me know how it goes!
Susen says
Teary eyed and with smiles I read your post. How true it is to invite others into our lives. I’m sure Christel is super grateful for the friendship you offer her and it’s obvious through this post you are as well. Beautiful simply beautiful
KathleenB says
I agree!
Becky Keife says
Thank you for the encouragement, Susen!
Beverly says
Beautiful way to start my day…I had a smile on my face the whole time I read your story! Thank you, Becky, I love your entries!
Becky Keife says
Beverly, that blesses my heart to hear.
Gail says
Becky, I love this SO much! What a sweet friendship and inspiration.
Becky Keife says
I’m continually thankful for the gift of getting to share life with Christel.
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
Becky that is just so lovely it reminds me of my late neighbors sister who is 90 now. She is still alive the 90 year old. But my neighbor her sister is passed away I say about 4 years now. I keep in touch with my neighbours sister. I love to go her home to visit her with my best friend. What fun we have. She tells me stories about her late sister that used to live in the same park as me. Both are saved. You feel God presence in her home every time you go visit her and talk to her on the phone my late neighbors sister who is 90 now soon to 91 and driving still. Which is a merical on the good Lord. The stories the 90 year old tell you about her and her late sister that used to be my neighbor make your heart glad. All you learn from her and her faith in God is phenomenal. Her late sister that was my neighbor was the same. They love the Lord in way that make you want to love our Lord more. Live your life for the Lord the way the did. So others not saved will want t know this Lots of yours too. What a love they have for our Lord is just so catching like a common cold. You if not saved would want to catch it. The 90 year old that is still alive make you want to love even the unlovable like Jesus did when on earth. It just amazing. I Love her as my spiritual Mother and Sister in the Lord. I did her late Sister now in Glory. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xx
Becky Keife says
So wonderful, Dawn.
Donna says
Becky I just love love LOVE this!!!
I struggle with making (and keeping) friends within my own age group – I have a tiny small circle of friends that I have had for sometime who have all immigrated to other countries, while the circle of friends who I thought were friends slowly dissipated during my years of substance abuse and addiction, and subsequently through my journey of recovery (7 years sober this year) (All for His glory!)
Not too long after you wrote this post on your facebook feed, I was invited out for lunch by a lady who is exactly 30 years older than me, and I JUMPED at the opportunity. I had the best (extended) lunch with her and we chatted and laughed like two old friends who had not seen each other in months.
I have learned to realise that friendships bloom in the most unexpected places, and that I need to keep my heart and eyes open to these opportunities.
I loved seeing your photo with your friend, and the story really warmed my heart.
Angel Harp says
Congratulations on 7 years! That is terrific!!
Tanya Villani says
Love your testimony. Praising God for this new friendship. Congratulations on 7 years sober!! I am 37 years sober from cocaine addiction.
Beth Williams says
Tanya,
Congratulations on 37 years sober! God will definitely get the glory!!
Blessings 🙂
Becky Keife says
Donna, congrats on seven years of sobriety. Keep leaning on God’s strength, sister! And I’m so glad you got invited to that lunch and said Yes! Surely it was a gift to your new friend too.
Beth Williams says
Donna,
Congratulations on 7 years! God is getting the glory for this!!
Blessings 🙂
Angel Harp says
This made me think of my dear friend Elaine. She was probably 50 years older than me. She would talk about her great grandkids while I was raising my young children. She passed away during covid from cancer. I wasn’t able to go to her funeral. I think of her often and miss her so.
Becky Keife says
I’m so glad you had Elaine for the time that you did. I’m sorry for your loss.
Tanya Villani says
You shared, “Alone doesn’t make room for someone else to belong. If I had chosen alone, Christel would have spent another evening alone too.” I love this and my heart was prompted to reach out to a widow who is a precious friend in her 70’s.
Your kind words reminded me of another widow I used to care for in her 90’s. I learned so much from her. She was so in tune with God. She helped me let go of worries through her godly example of remaining calm & peaceful no matter what. I need to reach out to her too.
I’ve also hesitated when prompted by the Holy Spirit to call someone or go somewhere new or read a particular devotion or scripture verse. Thank you for the reminder to put the needs of others before our own. Loving Jesus first enables us to unconditionally love & serve others.
Becky Keife says
Tanya, I’m so grateful this was meaningful and encouraging for you! Proud of you for reaching out. I’m sure that means more to your friend than you know.
Elsa Seidel says
I’m 80 years old (at least that is what my driver’s license says) and I just love my young(er) friends. I have learned to listen, share as asked for and praise God for their wanting to be involved with me.
Becky Keife says
I’m so glad you’re here, Elsa! You are a gift!
Michelle Stiffler says
I love this, Becky!! I have a Fran in my life and she has made my life very rich and joyful God is good to give us friends of all ages.
Becky Keife says
Thanking God for Fran!
Kathy Francescon says
I had an older cherished friend that filled my void for a grandmother and a best friend! She was from the north, I was from the south. She was Catholic, I was Protestant. She was divorced, I was married. But oh, the fun and good times we shared! Our differences made no difference! We enjoyed shopping together, eating out, eating in, surprising each other with little gifts! Laughing and crying! I lost her some time ago, but still think of her and miss her so much! It is sad, that differences seem to matter so much now. I wish we could go back to those times of respect and acceptance and giving true friendship and kinship a chance. Blessings for such a sweet story! You hit the golden buzzer on comments today!! I love you and miss you, my dear friend Pat!
Dawn Camp says
I love this! What a blessing you are to each other.
Beth Williams says
Becky,
I don’t have a lot of friends in my age group (50s). I wouldn’t trade the sweet friendships I have with older women. We laugh & cry. Last Saturday I got a few needed medical supplies for a friend. She fell & broke her elbow, but her back is hurting as she has degenerative disk disease. I spent some time talking with her. She just enjoyed our time. I know what it’s like to be lonely. Two of my friends are widows. One has no family around here. For us it is easy to find common ground to love on each other.
Blessings 🙂