I felt the weight of 2023 as soon as I flipped the calendar; just 89 days to a major milestone birthday. An inescapable and irritating dread dampened my usual sunny disposition. To me, birthdays have always been the perfect excuse to celebrate with much ado. But this year felt different. I was entering a new decade that some would consider old, and as a person who has always declared, “Age is just a number!” that number was cruelly taunting me, making me feel ancient and irrelevant.
I snapped out of it when I realized I was acting like a victim of my age. I remembered what I had learned when I wrestled with aging not so long ago:
We are not victims of our age, and age is the price we pay for life and it’s a privilege not everyone has.
So, doggone it, party on! My husband was also turning 60 in March, so it seemed important to make it memorable.
But then came January 5th… and my world was rocked to the core.
Doctors discovered a mass in my sister’s brain that would require more testing to diagnose. By the end of the month, our worst fear was confirmed: brain cancer.
What was there to celebrate when my “ride or die” was facing a terrifying future, and the long life she imagined would be cut short?
Meanwhile, another storm was brewing.
My husband’s company had been sold last year, and one by one, his former leadership team shrank due to job elimination, forced early retirement, or leaving to find something more secure and less volatile. He began exploring different job opportunities himself as the climate became increasingly untenable, but on February 24th the decision was made for him. His position was eliminated.
Interestingly, we had plans that night to have dinner with four close friends and their husbands. It had been over a year since we’d gotten together as couples, and Courtney had invited us to her home six weeks in advance. Even though we viewed Tad’s job elimination as a good thing in many ways — he was fortunate to receive a severance package — it was still a hard thing, and we weren’t emotionally up for a couple’s night.
Not ready to disclose what had happened that afternoon, I texted my friends to let them know we had had an intense day and wouldn’t be able to make it. They weren’t having it. They texted back insisting, “You still have to eat!” Privately, another friend texted Tad and let him know they were doing a little something for my birthday … over a month early to surprise me.
He immediately spilled the beans because he knew we would have to show up and make the best of it. Though we didn’t know exactly what to expect, our suspicions spiked when we passed Courtney’s neighbor’s house and her yard was full of cars. Whatever they had planned was more than a few friends.
I apologized to Tad as we walked to her front door, feeling awful that something spectacular was planned for me, when his birthday was the following week, and, he had just lost his job.
Before we could knock, the double doors opened to reveal our two sons standing there grinning and a mob yelling, “Surprise!” Then our daughter (who lives a plane ride away) appeared from behind the door. I turned my back to the crowd, an instant, sobbing mess. I hugged Tad and whispered, “I’m so…sorry…” imagining how hard the next few hours were going to be for him.
“Turn around! See who’s here!” someone yelled. It was only then my brain finally caught up to what was happening. This was a surprise party for both of us.
Everywhere we looked we saw people we loved: our church family, my and Tad’s brothers, and life-long friends from all over. Then I spotted my sweet father-in-love . . . and my sister. I lost it all over again. She hadn’t even fully recovered from her biopsy surgery.
As the night unfolded, we learned that this party wasn’t cooked up by my friends. Rather, our children had been conspiring since Christmas to celebrate both me and Tad. February 24th had been the only day that worked out for our three kids and my four friends who helped them plan.
Our children’s concern that no one would be able to make it on a Friday night was unwarranted; people showed up en masse. Though they missed a few friends we would’ve included, we were amazed by how well they did. Every single person there was already praying for my sister, and this was an opportunity to meet her if they didn’t already know her.
Tad and I caught up with people we’ve loved as long as we can remember, and when we bumped into each other he whispered, “God sure has a sense of humor.” I laughed and agreed. Driving home later, Tad expressed what I had been thinking, “A night like tonight puts what happened with my job in perspective. It sure seems small in comparison.”
I fell into bed happy and exhausted, my mind reeling from our roller-coaster day. As my heart settled, I was completely and utterly overwhelmed by love. Not from the love of our family and friends – though that was palpable – but from God.
At Christmas, when our children had the bright idea to throw us a surprise party, they had no idea what the new year would bring.
But God knew.
When seven people selected a date that was the only one that worked for each of them, they couldn’t have known what that specific day would mean to us.
But God knew.
God knew about Lora’s brain tumor and Tad’s job loss and all the uncertainty, sorrow, and brokenness we were carrying. What I saw so clearly at that moment was how the story of our lives tells the grander story of God’s greatness. This is true for all of us, isn’t it? My children and friends thought they were just planning a surprise party, but the God who knows the end from the beginning and the beginning from the end knew what would happen in our lives leading up to February 24, 2023, and He put together a gift so spectacular no one could deny who it was from.
God knew that we were weary and burdened and He gave us the kind of rest we desperately needed (see Matthew 11:28-29). God is still writing your story and He knows the kind of rest you need, too. You can come to Him and trust Him.
Bomi says
Sobbing and smiling at the same time! Thank you for sharing! Sending you big hugs and praying for every single member of your family! And for your kind friends as well! May you all continue to experience God’s peace, God’s power, and God’s amazing love!
Robin Dance says
Bomi,
There is something so sweet about a solidarity of tears and smiles. In the mystical ways of God, we can carry both simultaneously. Thank you for your encouragement and blessing this morning :).
Ruth Mills says
We are physically spent. A ministry I’ve recently been called to coordinate is in need of tweaking but the dominoes of moving forward require me to wait on others to meet with others to then meet with me to make a game plan. Time is ticking & I can’t see how we can possibly train new volunteers in time for a fall kick off if we don’t have a time set to plan to plan yet. I’m mentally tired just thinking about it. In God’s timing back in December I was gifted a week’s vacation by my employer for 39 years of employment. Date set for next week. God knew we needed this break way before my boss thought to be so generous. He is so gracious to love us well! He knows the beginning from the end, the end from the beginning & provides ALL our needs in each step. I want to simultaneously sleep for a week & play tourist in our favorite beach resort. God will enable! And He knows exactly how the ministry will move forward even as I can’t see it yet. Waiting on others’ timing & agendas is hard but praise Him waiting on Him is not in vain! Blessings! May you continue to see God in the details of the hard in your family’s lives.(((0)))
Robin Dance says
Ruth,
“Waiting on others’ timing & agendas is hard but praise Him waiting on Him is not in vain!” <-- Yes! loved that! And I pray your time in your favorite place is restorative and refreshing.
Deb Church says
Exactly what I needed to hear today! Thanks for sharing your story.
Robin Dance says
<3 To God be the glory! :)
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
Robin it is amazing how God know everything about us even before we know it ourselves and even better than we know it ourselves. God has many ways of surprising us especially when we think we lost all. We no hope we think why us. But we have to trust God know he knows what he is doing put all in his hands. When we are down things are not good we have to be able know we can trust God and go him in prayer and Go will help us through what we are going through at the time we are going through what we are going through. No matter what it is you are going through. Like me all those years ago when I was taking seizures out of the blue because of women problems. That made my hormones go up the left. I was not well. It was scary time for my Husband back then. I on tablets to help them not happen as often. I still take the odd one. But no where near as many as did away back then. God was good then and is today. God taught us me and my Husband how to cope then and today with them. We thank God for every day I don’t take a seizure. It so good God worked away out with my Husband job that he could leave me to my Dad’s and pick me up when finished his work so as I no left on my own. Incase I take a seizure. When I at my Dad’s I able to help my Dad who is elderly by doing his house for him that he not able to do. But can wash and dress himself. So it good and God was he worked that out for us. Even the way he worked all out for you Robin and your family. See God knows the bigger picture and the future of things even before we do. All we have and need to do is put our trust in him and leave it with him. The way we can do that is by taking it to him in prayer and leaving it with him and trusting him and not doubting but believing he will do what he says. That he has heard our prayers. Love today’s reading Robin. How you share what God did in your situation and look how it worked out for your good. I say Amen to that. What mighty God we serve faithful in every way. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xx keeping you all incourage in prayer xx
Robin Dance says
Dawn,
” See God knows the bigger picture and the future of things even before we do. All we have and need to do is put our trust in him and leave it with him.” <-- That first sentence offers such assurance, doesn't it? And the second sentence is so simple...but so hard.
Carmel Joyce says
Beautiful story of hope
Thanks for sharing….xx
Robin Dance says
🙂 Thank you.
AmaTHa says
AMEN! I’ve been struggling lately! Please keep me and my Mama Linda in your prayers!
Robin Dance says
Good morning,
I prayed when I saw your comment and then again this morning. Blessings to you and Mama Linda.
Julie says
You are so lucky to have such a wonderful and thoughtful family ! What a beautiful surprise !
I just turned 60 also, but mostly in silence. Thanks for sharing your story.
Robin Dance says
Julie,
Did you see my email? Happy 60th a bit late xo.
Irene says
A beautiful story, Robin! Thank you! And may God richly bless you and your family.
Robin Dance says
Thank you, Irene.
Angela says
I just want you to know I’m sobbing, soggy, wet, uncontrollable tears after reading your story! One of my go-to songs right now is God Is In This Story… and he sure was in yours! Your 2023 was my summer 2022. One bad thing after another. Relationship ending. Job loss. Life turned upside down. But God was there when I lost my job and had the most amazing thing lined up for me! God was there a few months later when I turned 50! God has been with me as I’ve walked through the grief of losing a relationship that I treasured more than gold. God is in MY story too, and I’m counting on a GOOD ending. Bless you for sharing.
Robin Dance says
((hugs)) Angela… 🙂
What is often times difficult for us to remember is what feels like the END of our story is actually the MIDDLE. I find a lot of comfort in that thought. Thank you so much for reading and sharing a little about what we have in common.
Becky L says
Good story to read this morning. God’s always with us. We’ve been thru rough times as well and we pray and trust in God as there’s something that does show up or help is given when asked for.
Robin Dance says
Praying and trusting in God is about the best thing we can do :). Blessings to you, Becky.
Christina Ryan Claypool says
All I can do is thank you for your transparency and thank God for His timing. I have been heartbroken over all the physical suffering my “little” brother has experienced the last two years having constant surgeries without relief. He will turn 60 this week and is facing another operation this month. I haven’t been able to be with him as he lives states away and I have been on crutches myself. I am in my sixties, too. Tomorrow I have to speak for an event for seniors, and my heart has been so heavy that I was concerned I would leave the precious ladies attending without the gift of God’s hope. Thank you for your reminder that God is in control when everything in our lives screams that He isn’t. May the Lord bless you, Robin. Aging and pain are hard, but you reminded me that God is always good.
Robin Dance says
Christina,
I’m praying for you today as you speak! I believe God has just the right words for you to encourage those seniors. Your focus is on Him, and I’m confident the Spirit will bless you in speaking, and hearers, in hearing :).
Shanta says
Thank you for your candid sharing. Yes, our GOD who created us, knows everything about us. I find that very comforting.
HE is such a loving, caring, compassionate and faithful GOD.
Life is precious and I am so pleased that your children and good friends planned this meaningful and beautiful celebration to mark your important birthdays. A belated Happy birthday to both of you.
May the LORD bless and shine HIS Face upon you and your family and grant you HIS peace.
Beth Williams says
Robin,
God knows everything. Nothing surprises Him. December 2021 God changed my part time job to full time benefitted. Last fall the job duties suddenly changed. I was super unhappy to say the least. The job itself is still the same, but my outlook is a tiny bit better. Seems lately God is giving me interviews for other jobs more up my alley. I had one today (05/12/23) about 10 or so minutes from home with a company I want to work for. He knows what’s best for us. I cling to Jeremiah 29:11 “For I know the plans I have for you” declares the Lord. “Plans to prosper you and not for harm To give you a hope & a future.”
Praying for your sister . May God send healing & comfort as you await results.
Blessings 🙂