I’m a mess.
My house is a mess. My hair is a mess. My stomach is a mess because my diet is a mess. My planner is not a mess because I haven’t written anything in it for weeks.
And don’t assume when I say “mess” that I mean a couple of stray cups or socks or unpaid bills. No, I mean not having room to put down a bag of groceries because another day has passed without me loading the dishwasher. So the counters are full. Of dirty dishes. I mean I’m not totally sure my kids are wearing clean underwear, and I definitely don’t think they’re brushing their teeth on the regular. I mean hours spent staring into space or at a screen as videos roll on by, taking my motivation and window for productivity with them.
I’m a mess.
I’m writing this at my dining room table (that has a giant crack in it, by the way, but we haven’t had time to get it fixed) ignoring the candy bar wrapper sitting next to my laptop as if that wasn’t my breakfast on this, the millionth day I was going to start eating healthy. The unopened mail is on the other side of the bag of clothes that needs to be returned to the store before the store sends me a bill for the five dresses that didn’t fit. And the notes I scribbled in the middle of the night when an idea for this very article hit me? Well, I tossed them across the room when I realized they were nonsense, not brilliance, and all I had to tell you today is that I’m a mess.
But I think it might be okay if all I have to say this time is that I’m a mess. Because sometimes, we are messy. I’m a mess and I’m pretty sure sometimes you are too.
I’m a mess this time (Lord knows and you know, this is far from the first time) because after three months of crisis in my house — crisis that’s not fully resolved yet — I got a new job that has completely changed my family’s schedule and routines. It’s not even a full-time job, but as I recently told a friend, “I know it’s ‘just’ half-time, but I am full-time exhausted!”
My current mess is a mix of good things and bad things, hard things and things that are awesome but also, you guessed it, hard.
There are so many reasons we find ourselves in a mess, find ourselves being a mess, aren’t there? And, of course, sometimes we turn into a mess or find ourselves in a mess for no reason at all (or at least, no discernible reason). It can sneak up on us, little by little, or come out of nowhere like a life avalanche, dumping all the things on our heads at once. The mess can be tangible, with dirty dishes and mountains of laundry and missed appointments and forgotten permission slips. It can also be less visible, with intrusive thoughts and sleepless nights and irritation at the world at large and weariness that we just can’t shake.
Have you been there? You have, right?
Most of us have been a mess before and most of us will be a mess again. It’s the nature of being a messy human in this messy world. I suppose that’s a small consolation, knowing that feeling this way, being this way, isn’t abnormal and we’re not alone. But the bigger comfort is this:
Even when we are a total mess, we are not alone.
Recently I was chatting with a friend as we recorded a podcast episode, and she brought up Elijah. We laughed as we remembered the story of Elijah fleeing for his life. He was so distraught that he asked the Lord to take his life. Elijah was such a mess that it was too much for him. But rather than do as Elijah asked, God looked at this messy human and said, “Son, you need a nap and a snack!” (Yes, I’m paraphrasing, but you can read the story in 1 Kings 19.)
Now, hear me. I am not saying that all our problems can be solved with a nap and a snack. What I’m saying — to myself and to you — is that God is not surprised when we fall apart. He isn’t shocked or dismayed when we get a little or a lot messy. He doesn’t demand that we get our act together before coming to Him. And God doesn’t run the other way when we feel like it’s all too much — or when we are what feels like too much.
When we are an absolute train wreck, when our lives feel like they are spinning out of control or pressing down on us until we cannot breathe, when we’re a mess . . . we’re not alone. We’re not alone, because God is always with us.
Here are three promises you can cling to:
- The Lord is with us and He promises never to leave us. (Joshua 1:9)
- Our heavenly Father is not disappointed or annoyed or exhausted by our problems. In fact, He wants to take them from us. (Matthew 11:28)
- He is with us and He wants to help us, to make us strong again. (Isaiah 41:10)
If you’re a mess today, you’re not alone. I’m a mess, too — and God is with us both.
This was a message that this overwhelmed single momma needed to hear.
So glad it was encouraging to you, Elizabeth. We’re in the mess together!
Thank you for your honesty. Most of us either have been or are in a mess right now. You have reminded us to hope and trust God with our messes.
Absolutely. Our hope is in Him, even on the messiest days!
Oh AMEN! I appreciate your honesty. Thank you!
You’re welcome! Thanks for reading!
Our house is a mess & we’re too busy and or exhausted to do anything about it. Hoping to get it cleaned over the weekend so we can invite friends over before they move away. Yet in thinking about the messy overwhelming to-do list, I realize the gift it was to not have to clean up to invite Jesus in. He waded into to messiest, grossest of me & power washed it cleaner than clean. He is always with me to enable me to do the hard work even when I don’t want to. Thank You, Jesus!
Ruth, what a great insight – we don’t have to clean up our mess before inviting Jesus in. And thank God for that!!!
I’m sorry to hear the mess is a mess:(
But your attitude on it is certainly clear;)) my 39 year old mom of 3 and a wife part time worker at home has recently as she puts it.. bit the bullet and hired a cleaning service to come one Saturday and deep clean the house. She’s like a new calmer person because it’s cleaner than before and she can breathe and be better with her kids and her husband for a week at least ☺️ she’s doing that monthly and her anxiety level has dropped immensely! Just a thought to help you out if even only quarterly., it’s hard for you young mom’s to do it all and you know you don’t have to.. your spirit and soul needs rest and if this gives you more time to be in Gods presence then I pray it’s the answer for you also
Blessings have a great weekend
Bless you! This comforted my weary heart so much, in the middle of the mess that is my life right now. Thank you for reminding me that I am not alone.
You’re welcome, Ruthie. I’m grateful this was an encouragement to you!
Awww, my thoughts exactly and what I needed to hear this morning. Sometimes we are a mess, but that’s okay because Jesus still loves and cares for us. Tomorrow is a new day!
Yes, I’m always so thankful for the Lord’s fresh mercies each day!
I so needed your post this week, Mary! When in these kinds of struggles, shame easily fills the air. Your honesty helps me to not feel alone& such encouragement encourages hope & hope helps to inspire us forward. I appreciate YOU!
Melody, I am so grateful sharing my story could encourage you. You are definitely not alone!
My life got turned upside down this morning. I was supposed to go to the city for a chiropractor appointment and shopping. My daughter got sick last night and her husband canceled the trip today. Consequently I am going to go back to bed for more sleep than 2.5 hours. I know the dishes mess. Some of my dishes haven’t been washed for over a month. I am thankful for your message. I am thankful that God takes our messes and turns them into messages to benefit others. I am thankful that God is with us in our messes and loves us always. Be encouraged my friend.
I love how you put it: “takes our messes and turns them into messages” for others’ good. So well said!
Yes! Messes into messages is the perfect way to put it! Thank you for sharing a bit of your own story here, Glenda!
Oh Mary! I wish I could have popped in that day and taken care of some of your mess! There should be a hotline for moms, when they are overwhelmed with stuff. A retired gal could pop over and wash a load of laundry or a sink full of dishes. Hmmm…Is there a way? Anyway, may the Lord bless you in your messy life! I know He already has!
That hotline would be AMAZING!!
Thank you for your vulnerability and for speaking the truth. I have been struggling these past three years more than I ever have in my life. During Covid, my mom passed away on the other side of a closed US-Canada border, and my sister and I were not able to be there with her or to help my Dad. Consequently, he started acting more strangely than just grief, and now we are quite sure he has early dementia. Nothing happened as I expected, and that on top of several other deaths of close family members within several years has left me feeling weak and tired. So this has shown itself in my feeling very behind at home and not having the energy to deal aggressively with our messes and clutter. Yet I have seen God’s faithfulness and provision as we navigate this difficult season. I’m thankful that he is not shocked or dismayed by our messes, and promises to be with us and to send the “rest and food” that we need.
I’m so sorry for your season of loss and grief. But yes, what a gift that the Lord is not shocked by our mess or our struggle, but rather He reaches out to help us through it!
I’m a mess.
Me too. You are not alone!
I knew this was my morning inspiration !
Yes, I can understand not having my ducks in a row. I’m a “mother” and I did not learn early enough to prioritize and delicate responsibilities as my children matured. My husband loved all four females taking care of him and sort of tidying up the house from day to day. But when my body did not cooperate with me; depression and anxiety, job stress, physical pain (rheumatoid arthritis), breast cancer, marital difficulties and several other surgeries, I realized I could not do everything alone. So, I let things go a lot in the house and just did the least amount from day to day.
Disability is part of my life now with physical limitations and knees that should be addressed. I’m feeling so much better because I can’t change myself but God can work with me and through me. I’m never alone and God will never forsake me.
My eldest daughter is a great help to me and my husband (computer, cellphone and IPad knowledge).
Time is where we have to live but God is outside of Time.
Enjoy your day.
God bless your steps.
Brenda
Brenda, thank you so much for sharing part of your story. What you said is absolutely true: God will never forsake us, no matter what our earthly circumstances are.
Think your post struck a chord for everyone this morning! It brought a smile to my face and comfort to my heart! Life is messy, sometimes worse than others, but God will meet us where ever we are, dirty dishes and all! Praise Him for His great love and compassion! I read a quote “if you think your life isn’t a bed of roses, think of the One who wore the Crown of Thorns! Bless my mess, Dear Jesus!
So glad this was encouraging to you, Kathy! Thank you for being here! 🙂
Mary,
Your “Mess” was a great “mess-age” for all ages.
My kiddos are grown now. Please know it gets easier and the waters calm as the kids clear out.
Hang onto Jesus. You’re doing great!
from Lisa Wilt, your fellow KC author who lives in Blue Springs and thinks you have a lot to be proud of with your writing.
Soli Deo Gloria.
Thank you for your encouragement, Lisa!
Mary we all make messes and get into messes. We look round our houses and say how did I get it into such a mess. We can to get too tired to tidy it up. We look at it oh look at we need to tidy that up. I do it later and later never comes. But God doesn’t care about that kind of mess. God still loves us. God wants us as followers of his to clean the wrong mess if we have any in our lives like wrong sin in our lives out of it. That should not be there if we have not been living right as his word says. Go to him ask him to help us clean that dirt out of our lives that should not be there. The Old Devil that would want it to be there the wrong sin mess dirt in our lives. We have to get rid of to live right with God. So the mess of homes really God could not care about it. Yes it nice to get it cleaned up and see our homes nice and tidy. But God wants the mess sin out of lives and us to ask him for help if we have any to get rid of it. Repent of it. Ask his help to not do again if something that we as followers of his should not be doing. We can fall apart in the sin. Don’t let take over your life as follower of Jesus. I did and went to Jesus. Got down and prayer about and asked God to forgive me and help me clean the mess up. God did told me what to do. To help me not do it again especially when tempted to do it again. It was not easy. But with prayer and Bible reading and doing as God told me it got easier. Love today’s reading Mary thank you for it. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xx
Thank you for reading and sharing your heart, Dawn!
Thank you for sharing your mess with the rest of us as many have written here your mess was a great message for so many and I believe God used you as a platform to help so many others realize we are not alone.
Thank you, thank you thank you 1 million times over for being so open and honest and helping me and so many others
You’re welcome, Susen. It’s not always easy to admit our struggles but God tends to use those things more than any spiritual insight or knowledge I might have!
You never fail to inspire and encourage me with your honest words of life and hope…
Thank you for being you.
Sharon
Oh Sharon, thank you for your kind words!
thank you
You’re welcome, Betty!
Thank you, Mary. I wouldn’t hesitate to tell a friend that is struggling how loved she is no matter what. But to tell that to myself… Thank you for being the friend to share it with me since apparently I forget that truth applies equally to all of us – I get to accept grace too! So thankful for your honest sharing and inspiration to not to wait until we’re “pulled together” to encourage one another.
Pearl, that is always such a good reminder…would I talk to a friend the way I talk to myself? Thank God for enough grace to go around, even to those of us holding ourselves to unrealistic expectations!
Amen!
Thank you! Yes God is doing a deeper work in me & I am in a mess!
As my “wellness” ebbs and flows, so does my messiness. At the moment things are pretty messy and the sad thing is that the messier things get the more unworthy and isolated I feel from God’s love.
Your message today gave me a little bit of hope. I will try to hold on to that and remember that everyone has times when things get messy but God cares for us regardless.
Belinda, I’m so glad this helped you find a bit of hope. God is with us and loving us, no matter how messy we are!
I so needed this today … chuckling as I sympathized with your pain, impressed with your candid raw expression of what messy overwhelm looks like. I’ve been there. Oh, yes. And your example of Elijah will resonate in my mind, confident the next time I find myself in a “mess” I’ll turn to Lord followed by a nap and a snack. Many thanks for such great inspiration!
I mean, really, sometimes a nap and a snack IS the solution! 🙂
Another balm to my soul! Thank you Mary!
You’re so welcome, Courtney!
Mary,
Last fall I was a mess. Job went from part-time to full-time. Then suddenly it changed completely. Doing something I didn’t expect & certainly don’t like. It has been hard. Each day I go to work & try to have a good attitude & act Christlike. That doesn’t happen all the time. Praising God He is not disappointed with, annoyed or exhausted by our problems. Thankful He is walking with me through this trial & trying to make me strong again. Great post!
Blessings 🙂
Oh Beth, that is so hard! Our jobs take up so much of our time and energy, and it’s incredibly difficult not to let a hard job get us down! Praying God meets you right there and provides a new path when the time is just right.
You are speaking to me! I am a mess and my life seems to be a mess and my house is a mess and cluttered and causes me stress cuz I can’t do anything about it. It’s been a tough season that has stretched more than a few years. I struggle with juggling motherhood, keeping a job that I increasingly no longer want to do, and am too mentally and physically exhausted to do it all. Thank you for the message, and I know I am also not alone! I pray the Lord can help me with the mess that I am.
It can be so discouraging when a season turns into a year (or more). I feel that, for sure! Hang in there, Julie. You’re not alone, both because so many of us have similar struggles and because the Lord will never leave or forsake you!!