Slowly stirring the brownie mix at our kitchen island, I listened carefully to the delicate conversations occurring in our living room. It was our church’s middle school discipleship weekend, and our family hosted a group of ten seventh-grade girls in our home for two days.
One can only imagine how this house came to life. It was so loud — the rooms echoed with laughter, hope, and questions. All the questions. Around small groups, we pondered the topic of relationships: relationships with family, friends, boys, authority figures, and yes, frenemies. I witnessed girls’ hearts grow more tender to Jesus, but who also struggled to understand the foundational truth of their identity in Christ.
Do you remember those middle school years (or maybe more experiences jump out to you from high school)? So many tangled emotions. Feeling disconnected and uncertain. Everything seemed so complicated, pressured, and overwhelming. Friendships especially were a most sensitive matter.
Words mark us for decades, don’t they? They drip deep into the marrow of who we are and when we least expect it, the negative memories surface and challenge the truth about ourselves.
As I continued stirring those brownies, the girls shared around their intimate circle. By opening our home, they were able to open their hearts. I sat honored, yet burdened with their stories of struggle.
This new social media savvy generation deals with failures on such a heightened level. When I was in seventh grade, the slight verbal gossip behind one’s back stung, but only a handful might hear it. Today, gossip and personal opinions top internet statuses. Humiliation is public fodder, while fragile emotions erupt amidst ruined reputations in the wake of the all-knowing cyber world.
I continued to listen. Their list of worries tumbled out . . . comparison, loneliness, popularity, bullying, self-image, self-worth.
“I’ll never be as good. Everyone likes her more. I wish I had a friend like that.”
These were no longer seventh-grade girls voicing immature concerns. These were the heart cries of women of all ages. Struggles whispered throughout the generations. These voices might be younger, but the track being played is the same whether twelve or seventy-two.
How do we break the bondage of lies that start so young?
I could feel my momma bear rise up with fighting words towards the master manipulator, this father of lies. The enemy is cunning. He reaches across multigenerational plains and plants seeds of inadequacy at such a young age, but he doesn’t stop there. Those seeds fester and roots burrow deep and destroy across the decades. I still allow doubt to divide my heart. How can we counter this? I’m sure my questions echo yours, echoing the hearts of women everywhere.
There’s only one place for answers.
The girls and I turned there together. We opened God’s Word and explored verses that identified who we are in Christ. My heart cried out. Do they understand the power in these truths? Do we?
The only life-affirming, life-giving, life-changing way to counteract lies is with God’s truth. The only way.
The brownies had cooled by now. Their stomachs followed their noses as the chocolaty aroma filled the air. I knew they’d demolish them in moments, but as I cut each square, I claimed God’s truths for their lives, for my life, for my children’s, and yes, for yours.
This weekend was about more than just a social bonding time (although I am all about that). It was about feeding tummies, and souls, and encouraging a lifelong love affair with our Savior.
The weekend impacted me. I needed the same reminders.
Through the eyes of seventh-grade girls, I saw struggles that mimicked my own. I’m grateful that decades of experience now assure me that as we cling to His truth, lies are thwarted. When we walk in our identity as true image bearers of the most High God, everything changes.
So let’s allow these precious fighting words I shared with the girls to anoint us as we walk forward in His truth:
Lord, You make no mistakes. I am fearfully and wonderfully made. (Psalms 139:14)
I am accepted because I am Your daughter, (Galatians 4:6-7) complete in You, (Colossians 2:10) chosen and appointed to bear fruit. (John 15:16)
Lord, I am beautiful because You are beautiful and I am made in Your image. (Genesis 1:27)
I have been redeemed and forgiven (Colossians 1:14), free from condemnation (Romans 8:1-2), and any charge against me. (Romans 8:31-34)
Lord, I can find grace and mercy in You in my time of need. (Hebrews 4:16)
I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. (Philippians 4:13)
My personal list continues, but can we share more in the comments? Which one do you need as a balm for your soul? To be repeated often. For me, it’s “I am accepted.” No matter how on the fringe I feel, I am accepted because He knows me, and His love never wavers. Thank You, Jesus.
A few years ago, Jen created life giving truth reminders for her children. She thought you might enjoy these free printables too. Tuck them everywhere you need reminders of who you are and whose you are. If we don’t live loved and model it for the next generation, who will?
Beautiful! Thank you for all you are doing to pour lives into others ~ God bless you and encourage you always!
*pour life
Thank you so much for your encouraging words too, Bomi. 🙂
Seek first the kingdom of God. It centers me and helps me rise above the daily, petty things that threaten my peace and awareness. Thank you for sharing this. I’m getting ready to gift my nieces Bibles for their confirmation, highschool freshmen. I kept questioning what verses to highlight for them ❤️
Yes, B. Seek first His Kingdom puts it all into perspective, doesn’t it? I love that you’re gifting your nieces highlighted bibles. What a treasure.
I am beloved!
You are certainly beloved, previous Sonya! So much so. xoxox
1st Peter 2:9 But you are a chosen people, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, God’s special possession, that you may declare the praises of him who called you out of darkness into his wonderful light.
YES!! So much darkness. What encouragement to know that He calls us out from that and names us His chosen people.
Being 12 & 10 years younger than my sister & brother I felt compelled to be into what they were into. As an adult I realize our parents’ teaching us to seek God’s kingdom first was their way of telling me if I put God first He would add what was needed in His timing. I did not/do not have to strive to know it all right now! What a comfort!
Ruth – what a legacy it sounds like your parents passed onto you. A true gift.
Thank you so much for this. Watching what social media is doing to the next generation terrifies me. Hearing about the current decline is Americans that identify as Christians. It is so crucial that we continually support our kids with the reminders of the love of God.
Yes,Susan, it’s heartbreaking to see the rapid decline, but we know how this ends!! He wins every time.
I am a new creation in Christ Jesus. The old has gone: the new is here! 2 Corinthians 5:17
You are a new creation, Toni. Perfectly redeemed and loved more than we can imagine.
Thank you Jen! Thank you for sharing your home and sharing fond memories of sweet, and beautiful hearts of 7th grade girls.
I agree today’s times are “immediately very much in ones face” and that can really hurt a young heart’s confidence. I pray daily for my grand babies…who no longer are babies..
The balm for my soul…”Lord, You make no mistakes. I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalms 139:14)
I am the product of 2 teenagers that “had to marry”!! So whenever that voice creeps in, I remember this Psalm
PLUS…if I wasn’t made, neither would my daughter and her marriage and her babies \0/
Janet, thanks for sharing a bit of your story and yes, you have a beautiful legacy which lift others up and point those precious grand babies to Him. xoxo
I am forgiven. I am loved. Nothing can change that, not because of anything I do to deserve that love but because of His Beautiful Amazing Grace.
It was when I was in 7th Grade that my Mom had me memorize Psalm 139. Later in my 20s, when I was a Counselor at Church Camp for several years, I based my Devotions on Psalm 139. Most of those Girls had no knowledge of those powerful Scriptures.
When we memorize Scriptures, it’s well worth the time & effort. Because we strengthen our Spiritual Sword, to fight the enemy’s lies!
Do you know what a good weekly study/book would be for high school girls?
For me, I need to meditate on this “I have been redeemed and forgiven (Colossians 1:14), free from condemnation (Romans 8:1-2), and any charge against me. (Romans 8:31-34)”
I went through an awful time about 3 years ago when I finally divorced and removed myself from an abusive, unsafe situation by my church disowned me because of my choice. I have done my best to move on but struggling to feel loved, accepted and that I still belong to Christ. I feel like an outcast constantly judged and unworthy of Gods blessings in my life. And in a recent job interview I was told that I was direct, not in an offensive or threatening way but in a way that’s difficult for sensitive people – again the message of there’s something wrong with me. I’m continuing to pray for the Lord to highlight his truth in my life and fill me with discernment to notice and rebuke the lies more quickly.
Jen,
Thank you for opening your house & heart to those precious 7th graders. This world needs more caring people like you. Young men & women, especially, need to hear the truths of God. Other voices like the internet are shouting lies & doing so loudly.
This verse speaks to me Genesis 127 So God created man in his own image, in the image of God he created him; male and female he created them. I once heard a speaker say that since we are made in the image of God calling ourselves “dumb, stupid, ugly, etc.” is equal to calling God the same thing. WOW!
Blessings 🙂