About the Author

Sarah E. Westfall is a writer, podcast host, and director of community for hope*writers. Her work explores faith, belonging, and how to be a little more human together. Sarah lives for slow Saturday mornings at home, sipping pour-over coffee with her husband Ben as their four sons play (very loudly).

(in)side DaySpring: things we love
& you will too!
Find more at DaySpring.com
(in)side DaySpring:
things we love
& you will too!
Find more at
DaySpring.com
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  1. Wow, Sarah. What a powerful testimony and practice… to look a little longer at the longing and then speak it out loud in the presence of God. I’m taking this to heart and going to practice taking my thoughts AND my longings captive this way, trusting Jesus to carry them with me. Thank you.

    • Looking at any sort of pain can be…well…painful. But whether it’s loneliness or grief or shame, we cannot get beneath what the feelings are telling us if we don’t look at them and give them a name. It’s a lesson I have to continue to learn and relearn.

  2. Thank you for your post Sarah! I feel left out quite often, never feeling good enough to be a part of anything. I recognize that a lot of that is me holding back because I’m gun shy. I liked the reminder about the reflection.

    • I resonate with that “not good enough” sentiment. Truly. I hope in some way (even if it’s small) that makes you feel a little less on the outside. And it makes me wonder how many people are feeling this way. Like…does anyone actually feel on the INSIDE?

  3. Sarah thank you from the bottom of my heart for this post today. I often even with my Sister’s and my Dad feel left out and the one looking from the outside in. Yes it does hurt at times and get to me. As they my sister’s tell either everything and sometimes don’t tell me. Then they tell my Dad. He say did you hear this or this. I say no as my sister’s have not told me and it hurts. Then we go out for coffee sometimes. Me and my sister’s. I am the eldest and the only one saved in my family. They will the two of start taking to either. I say what about me I am hear too. I say it to myself not them. Then they stop and ask are you ok. For peace sake I just say yes. But I feel like a wall flower looking for a drink of water. Say what am I doing here. But if I don’t go with them for coffee. They ask why. I never said to them as it nice to see them and spend the time with them. As rest of time they busy with work and kids. But I do feel why didn’t I say no and just say at home especially if they are going to talk among either. Talk to now and them. If you get them one at time by themselves yes they put the time into me and talk to me. So I enjoyed that. I say even though not talking to me that often if together all us. It just nice to be in there company and see them. I think they just don’t think or see what their doing. God has shown me often in times like this you go and shine for me. Just in those moments they when both together with you pray for them as they are not saved. Then God says Dawn your not alone in those times I am right beside you. So don’t feel like a wall flower waiting for a drink of water. You are a beautiful flower that blooms for me. You are like flowers to hold you head high and not be a dooped wall flower and smell of my love for you as flowers smell nice. So as they will hopefully see you shinning for me and have that nice Godly smell about you as you are a beautiful flower that shines for me where ever you go in life. Hopefully they will see that one day want it. That is to me the Lord said the way you do. That has helped me alot. I do that now. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xx

    • “You are a beautiful flower that blooms for me.” Knowing we are beloved changes everything, doesn’t it? Thank you for sharing some of your story with me, Dawn. In doing so, you have also made me feel a little less alone in these emotions, and that is a gift.

  4. WOW! How this spoke to me. I never lived anywhere long enough to fit in with any group. I learned really early to go it alone. How I long to fit somewhere. This gives me hope and something to think about. I am in my 60’s and will choose to believe I am still on the way to something better that God has for me.

    • My husband and I moved 13 times in our first 15 years of marriage, and not be settled in a place certainly impacts our ability to “people well.” Thank you for sharing part of your story with us. I remain hopeful God will be present with us where we are as he continues to move us as human people closer to each other. 🙂

  5. Sarah, you describe this so eloquently! I’ve felt it too—the longing for deeper friendships, the wondering if it’s me that keeps getting in the way. I love your perspective that we are ON the way, and that gives us space to fill with grace and freely forgive. We can be gentle with others, and gentle with ourselves too, when we see that life is more of a direction than a destination.

  6. Sarah,

    Everyone wants to belong, be seen, known & loved. We must remember that we are a work in progress. Like you said we are on our way. Great post.

    Blessings 🙂

  7. I’ve had this open on my laptop for over a week to read. Glad I finally did. Thank you, Sarah, for putting to words what many of us feel. It’s so strange to make friends as adults. Even as an extrovert, sometimes I feel on the outside. Thanks for pointing our longing toward grace, forgiveness, and always belonging in Him.

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