I meet with a spiritual director every month. She’s a Jesus-loving woman who sits down with me and helps me sort through all of the wild trails that have been blazed over the last few weeks, clearing a path forward and challenging and encouraging me in my walk with Jesus. She’s known me for years and as a result can tell where my mind is going sometimes before even I can.
When I met with her recently, it was a normal afternoon, and I felt there wouldn’t be much to report to her. It wasn’t quite a dry patch but more of a plateau that I felt in my heart. My relationship with God was fine, but nothing major or notable seemed to be going on — or so I thought.
Then, as we sat down and dug in, I felt in my gut a whole lot of things rising to the surface. There was anxiety and insecurity and anger and sadness and confusion that had been bubbling for a long while without me even knowing, and I found myself getting, well, wound up. I was a flurry of emotions, and suddenly when I thought about my career or my writing or my relationships, it was more of a tsunami than a simple wave to ride. Everything felt overwhelming and in my effort to try and make sense of it, I was getting more and more stuck. What do I do next? What am I supposed to be doing now? Am I in the right place? Is my calling something else?
The questions kept winding me up tighter and tighter until she gently asked me to take some deep breaths and spend time in prayer.
Ten minutes later, I let out a sigh and said, “What I need is a windup or to unwind with Jesus — not to get wound up.”
The image that came to mind is that of a pitcher in a baseball game. They do not haphazardly throw a ball, but rather they move their bodies intentionally to create forward motion and pitch the ball where it needs to go. We call it The Windup. In a similar way, I found myself desiring to be intentional in my efforts with Jesus and leaning into whatever it was He had for me. But I almost missed it because I wasn’t winding up; I was getting wound up. I was running myself ragged rather than abiding with Jesus. I was trying to solve every step rather than taking the next step on purpose.
I wasn’t giving myself space to unwind either — to sit down and rest with God, allowing His voice to fill the quiet places. I longed to just sit with Him and let the fears and concerns go for a moment.
So often, we live in the place of getting wound up instead of listening to the call to unwind (or abide with Jesus like John 5:14 encourages) or wind up (or set our hearts on Jesus with intentionality like Colossians 3:2 says). We think we’re doing what’s good for our hearts, but maybe we’re asking the wrong questions or going into a quiet time with a laundry list of things to rant about. And certainly, Jesus can handle our rants. But perhaps when we pause to pray and make room to be intentional, we can hear God better than when we wind ourselves up for no real reason.
Jesus can carry us, friend. Go find Him, wind up and unwind.
Ariel Krienke says
Love this encouragement. So inspirational. Simple yet effective
Melissa Zaldivar says
Thanks for reading with us, Ariel! Glad you’re here.
Gail says
I love the vision of winding up with intentionality!
Melissa Zaldivar says
Thankful that you’re winding up with us, Gail!
Jeanie Shank says
HA! Just today I was wondering why it felt like my nerve endings were on fire.
I am retired and blessings are abundant. What’s the deal?
Ya gotta let the ball go and ya gotta let the Lord catch your
fears and concerns. “I wasn’t winding up; I was getting wound up.”
Melissa Zaldivar says
Yes, this is a CONSTANT challenge to me as a passionate woman. Glad to know I’m not alone! 🙂
Becky Keife says
As the mom of three baseball-playing boys, I’m going to look at the pitcher’s windup in a whole new light now. So good, Melissa. Grateful for your honesty and encouragement.
Dawn Ferguson-Little says
Melissa thank for this. How quickly we can get wound up over very little. It could be we are tired. Someone says something they don’t mean it in on kind way. But because we are tired. We can get wound up about it. Then we can get into our heads thoughts that why did they say that. We get mad and wond up over what they said. That is what the Enemy wants. To make us mad with the person for saying something that they did not mean any wrong in it. Because we are tired we take it the wrong way. We have to stop and look at what was said to us. Think would God wants us to let what they said to us annoy us. Make us mad. Then then think all sorts of wrong things about the person. I think no. So in times we have to see who would want us to get mad and wound up about it. That we think wrong thoughts about the person. That is Enemy. We have then put a stop to him. Say no I not going think those bad thought. I going not take what they said the wrong way and let it wind me up. I going to take it to Jesus. Ask him to take all thoes bad thoughts away. As the songs Says”What a friend we have in Jesus all our sins and grief’s to bear. What a privilege to carry everything to God in prayer.” Know how true thoes words are in that song and not let the enemy win. Take it to God in prayer and stop being wound up by it all. Just unwind in arms of Jesus and not get wound up over it. Let the Holy Spirit wind blow over us to think nice thoughts about the person. Think maybe they just said it in a wrong way. I say Amen to that. Melissa thank you sharing this. Keeping you all incourage in my prayers. Love Dawn Ferguson-Little xx
Talyssia Boyd says
This was truly a blessing to read! I can completely identify with that feeling as of lately. Asking the questions of What do I do next? What am I supposed to be doing now? Am I in the right place? Is my calling something else? What I’m learning is, it was all attached to my fear of the unknown future. I’m just in a space of learning to entrust God with my unknowns and putting my best foot forward each day with what I know to be true. Thanks for the post!
Melissa Zaldivar says
Yes, it’s so easy to ask endless questions! Thanks for reading!
Beth Williams says
Melissa,
Oh how easy it is to get wound up with anxiety. We want to know the next steps of life now. Instead of trusting God & waiting or Him to show us we rush ahead. Constantly moving, doing things & worrying if it’s the right thing or time. All we really need to do is trust that God knows best. Spend time with Him in prayer daily & seek His guidance. Then & only then will we be able to hear from God & be calm. We should remember God already knows our future all that lies ahead. So why not consult the expert?
Blessings 🙂