How do you relax when you feel anxiety? This is the most common question I get whenever I speak with women about wellness and detoxing from stress.
When I first started experiencing my body tighten with tension and my heart flutter with rapid palpitations, I had no idea what to do. I just told myself what I’d always did, “I’m fine.” But it wasn’t true. I wasn’t fine.
Then, I started noticing I was having trouble falling asleep, even though I’d read my Bible and journaled my prayers before bed. “Please God, you know how tired I am. Help me!” I whispered as the minutes ticked away hour by hour. I felt so exhausted. But what bothered me the most was that I felt alone and afraid. Why wasn’t God answering my prayers? I wondered.
Have you ever felt your body tell you that you aren’t okay even though you tell yourself you’re fine? You’re not alone, friend.
Sometimes, we are such strong thinkers, pushing through to take care of others, getting work done, and juggling our responsibilities. In our constant hypervigilance, we can get stuck in a state of heightened alertness that we don’t realize we are actually very stressed.
Like diagnostic lights on a car’s dashboard, God designed our bodies to be the last line of defense, to tell us to slow down and that we need care, nourishment, and attention.
Nurturing myself and prioritizing my wellbeing used to be like speaking a foreign language. I had no idea what that meant in a practical way. I understood it as head knowledge, but I never experienced or practiced what it meant to rest or do what brought me peace and joy.
So, I began a new prayer. Instead of praying, Help me sleep or Take away my anxiety, which are more of what I call light-switch prayers, I started to ask God, “What does it mean to rest? Teach me how to relax. I don’t know what that means.”
And with this new prayer, God began to put a curiosity in me to learn about soul care — the practice of nourishing our bodies and emotions by tending to our inner person with God.
One of the first Scripture passages that I asked God to help me understand better was a verse we often hear quoted:
Be still and know that I am God.
Psalm 46:10 (ASV)
Although well intended, a lot of people would share this verse to tell me to stop worrying or being anxious. But even when I did still myself, I felt no relief from my anxiety.
Then, I did a word study to learn the actual meaning behind this verse, and it changed how I responded to anxiety. In Hebrew, the word for “be still” is raphah, which means to loosen your grip and to relax. “Know” in Hebrew is yada, which means to personally experience. “Be still and know” doesn’t mean to do nothing! It’s actually the opposite! Being still means doing whatever helps you personally experience God, loosen your grip, and relax and refresh your soul.
So I began to do two things to help me relax whenever I feel anxious:
1. I take action to explore what brings me peace and joy — practical things, like trying different herbal teas (peppermint turned out to be my favorite) and taking a walk out in nature.
2. I pause to hear Jesus tenderly and lovingly calm my heart with a breath prayer to relax.
You can do it too! Here’s how:
Put aside your work and worries for just a moment, wherever you are. Rest in God’s presence. Whisper this simple breath prayer to yourself: Relax. Yep, “be still” literally means relax, loosen your grip.
Sometime today, do something that helps you experience what peace and joy feels like for you (It’s very unique to your personality and the way God made you.). If it’s an especially hard day, rest in the thought of Jesus holding you close in His arms. He is with you this very moment, whispering, “I will help you. I love you.” Even when we feel weak, God still say yes to loving you and me.
God has given us everything we need . . .
2 Peter 1:3 (NLT)
What helps you relax when you feel anxious? How do you feel in your body when you whisper the simple breath prayer, Relax?
For more tips to relax and stress less, download Bonnie Gray’s FREE Stress Less devotional here! Also, listen to Bonnie’s popular wellness podcast, BREATHE: The Stress Less Podcast. Listen and subscribe anywhere you listen to podcasts.
We’re in a particularly stressful season in our church. It helps to remember & remind each other God is Sovereign & God is Good. We’re also trying to walk our pups more. Our almost 15 year old rescue Yellow Lab mix can only handle 4 houses down & back but even that short stint of exercise is helpful for all of us.
Looking forward to others’ answers. A testimony to our creative God that a variety of things will fit the bill for others!
Blessings!
Anxiety, stress- my life these days is filled with it. And no matter what I do, I still do not sleep well most nights or feel like I am handling things well. (And I am a retired mental health clinician-a bit embarrassing as I used to help others handle their anxiety). I pray, I walk, I listen to music, I have tried to write in a journal (not for me). I have always struggled with this. But I will definitely try to incorporate your suggestions. It has gotten to the point where I have made an appointment with a therapist which having done so has actually helped. I know that I have to let go and allow God to be in charge which is very hard for a control freak. And I take so much from these daily messages from the wonderful women like you at (in)courage. Thank you.
It’s an article that touches many and a subject I think some may be hesitant to admit they experience so you sharing part of yourself in this way I believe can be very helpful for many reading this.
Thank you
I have recently come to this conclusion as well. Relax your body and get to know God closer in his word. It’s a great feeling. May God bless you all
Somewhere along the line my brain told me alcohol was the answer. So now I fight that AND the anxiety.
A true blessing for me today.. thank you
Bonnie, you are speaking right to my heart! Thank you, friend.
Thank you
Greetings! Thankyou for this. I too sometimes get this feeling of constant alertness, so much so that when there’s nothing urgent to do, I get an edgy feeling and can’t settle to anything and lose motivation. Here’s a beautiful verse that helps: Zephaniah 3 v17 especially the bit ‘He will quiet you with His love.’ He will. Blessings!
Thank you, Bonnie! I’m going to print this lesson out and return to it often. Your plan sounds like something I can do to “be still”.
Bonnie,
I loved your book “Whispers of Rest”. It is full of soul care ideas to help relieve stress & calm ourselves down. I’ve started listening to “Cars movie” music. I dance around & have fun. Music is the ticket to calm myself down & relax. It can be old country, 50s-60s rock, or Older Contemporary Christian like Stephen C. Chapman. I sing loud & proud. Find myself just letting go of any & all problems for a while. Other things that help are long walks outside, warm showers with scented candles. All that just refreshes me. When I feel down sometimes I start counting my blessings. That alone makes me realize how blessed I am & how much God cares for me.
Blessings 🙂