Years ago, I caught a glimpse of my reflection as I stepped into the shower, stunned to discover I had somehow slipped on Mrs. Doubtfire’s lumpy bodysuit without realizing it. What was once funny to me instantly felt like the cruel joke of menopause.
Around the same time, I remember shuffling to the bathroom, looking in the mirror, and not quite recognizing the woman blinking back at me. I wanted to chalk it up to an early morning, sleepy-eyed stupor, but I knew better. I had celebrated enough birthdays to know better.
One day you might wake up and feel ancient too, like your best days have passed you by. You’ll wonder, “When in the world did that happen?” as you examine the merciless brushstrokes of age. Graying hair, creeping lines, droopy lids, sallow skin — each may be years in the making, but gosh, they seem to appear overnight.
The struggle with growing older isn’t just about appearance though, is it? There is emotional and psychological impact too. You question if your age is the reason you didn’t get that interview or promotion. Invitations and opportunities dwindle. As an elder member of the Sandwich Generation, you know that when your adult children have problems (financial, job, marriage, health), it makes parenting teenagers look like a cakewalk. And you find out caring for your own parents is unchartered territory, at turns frustrating, heart-wrenching, and flying blind. You struggle with identity, value, relevancy, or purpose. But then, as a follower of Christ, you struggle with struggling because by now, shouldn’t you know better?!
Take heart, friend. What you’re feeling and experiencing is normal. You’re in good company. And today I get to remind you of an important truth you know but may have temporarily forgotten: Yours is a God who is always and only for you! And because of who God is and what He wants for your life, you can trust that He can use whatever you’re wrestling with for your good, His glory, and for the advancement of the gospel.
In fact, when it comes to aging, new doors will open. Lily, my Ukrainian hairdresser-turned-friend of nearly twenty years helped me see this without even meaning to. My long-awaited appointment couldn’t have been more needed; my hair color had faded, my roots had grown out, and patches of white, silver, and gray were threatening a takeover. Lily greeted me as she often has in recent years, “Darling, your wisdom is showing.”
I internalized her words — Your wisdom is showing — and wondered if this could actually be said of me. How was I stewarding my experiences, life lessons, and all God has shown me over half a century? Could it be, by God’s design, that wisdom naturally companions age? A pastor of mine once defined wisdom as seeing life through God’s perspective, and I think we only learn to do this over time and with practice. I wonder if this is what the psalmist was thinking when he penned Psalm 90:12 —
Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.
Haven’t you found that the older you get, the better you understand the brevity of life and the value of today? Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed, so how can we make the most of what we have right now? Understanding this ushers in the gift of gaining a heart of wisdom.
As I considered Lily’s words in light of my own issues with aging, I invited God into my vanities and asked Him to fill my insecurities with His assurances. I asked Him to heal my broken places with His love, to remind me of who He is and who He says I am in light of the gospel — to remind me that I’m not made for this world, but while I’m here, I get to share the beauty of a forever kingdom. It doesn’t erase the creeping lines or lift the drooping lids or brighten my sallow skin or tame a wayward brow, but it helps me not to dwell on what doesn’t matter so much anyway and to focus on what does. And honestly, isn’t this all truth we need to contemplate regardless of our age?
When “my wisdom is showing,” it has nothing to do with me and everything to do with God and what He has done and is doing in my life. God used Lily to challenge me not just to embrace my age as a gift but to steward it in a way that serves others and honors Him.
Growing older has revealed my vulnerabilities, inadequacies, and desperate need for God. It has also shown me we’re more alike than not. Aging is the price we pay for life, and it’s worth it. It means we have another day to share the good news of the gospel with someone who doesn’t yet know Jesus.
So, if you catch a glimpse of Mrs. Doubtfire when you’re stepping into the shower, maybe it just means your wisdom is starting to show.
This is so beautiful and meaningful …. I’m 58 and noticed the physical changes but also the mental and emotional changes. Putting the small stuff behind and focusing on relationships and what really matters in life .. drawing friends and family closer and releasing those fears and disappointments ! Loving with a whole heart and working on drawing a closer relationship with God.
Lovely, Karen Marie. Holding on to fear and disappointment doesn’t serve us; it can paralyze us, can’t it? Loving with a whole heart and drawing closer to God, indeed <3.
I absolutely love this! Thank you for the wonderful insight. I so relate to it! God has wonderful plans in our last years of life to share our knowledge and love!
Paula,
But wouldn’t the enemy of our heart want us to believe otherwise? We need to keep speaking Truth into each other’s lives!! 🙂
Thank you these words of wisdom! At 62 I can relate. It is encouraging to read something from someone who understands this side of menopause.
Cindy,
Your comment is such an encouragement to me; it’s so easy to become defeated, and simply having others who get it, helps. “Women of age” need to affirm one another and pour out the wealth of experience they’ve gained over time. You make me glad I wrote this :).
Good morning Everyone, it’s a beautiful start to our Monday. Years ago I had my “To Do List” ready for the week. Now, I am starting to realize that it’s best for me to focus on one day at a time. I don’t want to sound like I have figured out everything in life because I certainly have not.
Because I have walked out some lessons in Marriage and Parenting, now I can see a lot clearer that forgiveness is paramount in my daily life. It’s alright to be wrong sometimes even when you are right (give someone else a chance to feel right about something).
I have had Christian Counseling Sessions and it makes a great difference when a safe and caring person can help you see things from a different perspective. It’s so valuable to ask God to help you see others the way He sees them. I am part of the Church and I can see some need for improvement since the Pandemic started late 2019. Maybe I didn’t slow down enough three years ago to notice my short comings. The Holy Spirit is so kind, gentle and patient with me. I need Him to help me every day and I just enjoy how He comforts me but still teaches me Truth. I want to be patient with those in my circle of care and influence but sometimes I miss the mark.
I have come to the conclusion that becoming a Senior is a blessing in many ways. I get to visit my mother a lot and talk with her on the phone. She is a lively person with a great sense of humor. But she is impatient about things getting done in a very timely manner. She was that way as I grew up and she has not changed. I wonder will I make significant changes as I mature. I will wait and see.
I like being around kind people, it’s so refreshing and it sets the tone for a good conversation and it calms the atmosphere. My Grandmother taught me about kindness and my Mother taught me about sharing and learning to pull my share of any load; group homework, doing family laundry, forgiving my relatives and volunteering to help the elderly people in our neighborhood. I am so thankful for the foundation set for me as a child. Now, I get to build on it as the Holy Spirit helps me see spiritually what is important to God in my life.
I am not a high maintenance person but my three girls are that way. Can it be that my girls can teach me some things about self care that I over looked while I was busy working, doing laundry, cooking and helping with homework. I will be more open minded and watch my girls smile at me more often.
Keep growing wiser with the Holy Spirit taking the lead in your every day life.
Enjoy your day.
Brenda
Your Sister in Christ
Wow, Brenda…thank you for spending some time processing out loud here :). Can you imagine how different our lives would be if we actually allowed the Holy Spirit to lead us day by day? I’m praying that over me (and you, and our community) right now <3.
LOVE this!! So needed it today! You are a true blessing and deeply appreciated by many. Thank you for sharing your heart this morning!
Susan! Your exclamation marks brought a smile to my face :). I appreciate your encouragement and I’m really praying as I read and reply to comments, for the women who have walked this part of life and could use these reminders that God is STILL at work, inviting them (us!) to be active in the Kingdom! If we’re here, He’s not done with us, right? 🙂
Robin….This was so timely, and it made my day. May wisdom continue to show forth in our lives for His glory. Psalm 92:13-15.
Brenda, it’s funny that I’ve been thinking about this piece for a long while, but only now was I brave enough to put it out there. I’m so thankful the timing is perfect for YOU. 🙂
I love this beautiful post! May I/we be growing in wisdom every day & the now insulated 6 pack of abs in the mirror be a reminder of God’s goodness!
Ha!!! “Insulated 6 pack…” I’m going to be thinking about that today…………… 😀
Thank you Robin.
I so related to this and it helped me reflect over the way I/we can slip into negative thoughts about ourselves as we grow older and our looks change. It was so comforting to read your very real thoughts on the ‘process’ of growing older
While the negative thoughts may come, like flies buzzing around in summer – we can either fan them away with our hand, or hit them on the head or move away from them to another place, if there are too many or get some spray on…
I guess the word of God and armor acts like fly spray…it repels the negative and we dwell instead on eternal truths.
e.g. Yes my body has changed shape and it wont go back to what it was no matter how hard to I try to combat the changes (not so far) but I know its the temple of the Holy Spirit.
And wisdom tells me (from the word) I will inherit a new celestial body in heaven. That doesn’t mean I purposely neglect this one and let it grow worse than God intends but at least that I keep stoking the flames of hope with His promises, as this body will be changed in a twinkling of an eye when he comes to take me and even if I am already buried by then, he will change what was a physical body and resurrect it…As Paul says ‘death where is thy sting?’
I still have bad hair days that make me feel down and I cant always get into my hairdresser in time to have an earthly transformation, but I know it will get better and what really matters is being saved, carrying out His purposes and loving God and others….even if imperfectly for now.
Meanwhile I can sing songs too: ‘What a friend we have in Jesus…’, ‘Worthy is the Lamb’ and ”You raise me up’ and speak His words of promise and proclamation. ‘Peace I give you not of this world I give you.’
Gail,
Just by processing your thoughts here, you’ve offered some constructive responses. Well done :).
Thank you for sharing your wisdom here with us. Powerful words.
🙂 To God be the glory!
Thank you for sharing. I so needed this! Mrs. Doubtfire…ouch! But true! That wisdom standard of beauty is an awesome blessing.
“Wisdom standard of beauty….” Lovely turn of phrase, Olivia.
Such a beautiful reminder to embrace the season of aging. I love your friends truth; “your wisdom is showing”. I’m in my 70’s enjoying each day God so graciously gives me. ❤❤
Mary
Mary, darling…I think your wisdom is showing, too :).
Robin thank you for your inspiring words of truth. From a woman point of view. I don’t know what Menopause like. As I had to have a hysterectomy 4 years ago past in October last year. My periods were so heavy they make my hormones go up the left throw me into seizures. Which were not nice. Not nice for my Husband to watch. The only way to stop them was have hysterectomy. I never wanted kids. So if meant me having a hysterectomy to stop my seizures every month. As a week before my period was due during and after my period. Which was so heavy. I have seizures. I 47 when I had my Hysterectomy. I was had suffered for over 6 years with the seizures before the hysterectomy. Because of my hormones going up the left. With me. I did get any warning as to when a seizure was going to come. I brilliant now. I am seizures free since my hysterectomy 4 years ago past in October last year. But through it all. God was with me took me through it all. I can remember God saying Dawn you ok once you have your hysterectomy. I took that on board. The Hysterectomy operation. Was nothing. As it was my turning point. To trust God I going to get well. Yes God could have healed me like the story in the Bible of the woman with the issue of blood that touched the hem of Jesus garment. Instantly she was healed. I did believe that could be if I touched Jesus in prayer. Like that women with her bleeding. But I knew God wanted to use the operation to heal me. For me to trust him. That he would take me through it. I come out the other side and be ok. I remember the day before my operation. I don’t know we’re I got the saying. But it helped me. I went to operation not scared at all. Plus I had lots of people praying for me too. The nurses couldn’t believe how calm I was going for the operation. They said Dawn you are going for major surgery. I think I said. I am ok. I got so many people praying for me. The saying that helped me was. “Don’t worry about tomorrow God is already there” How true that a saying is for all us in life. We are not to worry about tomorrow. God is already there. No matter what we go through. Women and the menopause. Me the hysterectomy. God is there to take us through anything we go through as women. We can come out the other side and smile say yes God was there he help me get through this. I say Amen to that. Thank you again Robin for sharing your heart Love Dawn Ferguson-Little in my prayers all incourage. Xx
“God is there to take us through anything we go through” <-- Amen!
Thank you, I needed to be reminded of this today.
🙂
Darling, your wisdom is showing….just saying
Made me grin, Jeanie!!
Hello
Gosh another Great Message!
Loved all that You wrote!
You all need to be on TV
As guests to share all that you
Have learned to share with the
World!
Hugs
Sandy
Sandy,
Your generous encouragement is showing!! 🙂
Thanks for this encouragement. God knew what I needed today and he met it through you.
Cindy,
What a double blessing!
Robin, as a great-grandmother fast approaching my 80th birthday, I found your words very encouraging. Thank you for what you shared.
Karen,
Thank you for reading and commenting! I’m (we’re) grateful :).
Wow! Beautifully articulated and yes, your wisdom is showing! As I read this, I totally identify with how you were feeling as an aging person. Thank you so much for sharing what God has shown you for those of us who have not quite had the chance yet to make total sense of our physical, emotional, and soulful changes we go through as we age…
Lynn,
Your comment reminds me how important the body of Christ is! We DO need each other!
Robin,
For me age is just a number. I’m letting my wisdom show as I’ve earned each gray hair. My mental capacity isn’t what it used to be. I have trouble coming up with words & remembering names. With that said I have a wealth of wisdom to share with others. Especially about caring for aging parents, the trials & tribulations that come with that. I did that for 10 years & then helped my husband with his parents. There is a good side to aging. With aging comes wisdom that can only be learned by living. God saw fit to allow me to use my wisdom & turned my part-time job into a full time clerical in trauma ICU.
These days I value relationships more than ever before. I try to get a good friend together with my MIL often as they go way back. Neither one is that young. Also take time to visit with or send cards or call elderly church friends. I know they feel lonely & forgotten. Having gone through trials where I needed God to get me through I treasure my relationship & time with God. Finding myself praising God for simple things & embracing meaning of Christian holidays more.
Blessings 🙂
Yes, indeed, Beth…there is a GRAND side to aging <3.
Thank you. After 38 years together my husband asked for a divorce. I was feeling as though everything was over. Old, overweight, graying (when I take too long between appointments) and all the things. I needed this more than ever this morning. I’m with my son’s family and as a retired school teacher he’s asked me to partner with him to homeschool his sons and teach them Bible. My mother just asked for her first Bible in her life. My sister had me teach her about overcoming temptation last week. I needed the reminder that I have gained wisdom over the years and have eternal things to offer to others. Again, thank you.
I just want to hug you, Nicki. For these words to have reached you right when you need them, blesses you and me, and gives glory to God. xoxo
I just ask for prayer. Not sure how I will support myself at 67 years old and already retired. I’ll find purpose, but also need to have a way to live.