*TRIGGER WARNING: sexual assault
On a Sunday morning a few weeks ago, I gave my testimony on a TV show about God’s great love to heal and love me as I was interviewed about my new book Sweet Like Jasmine: Finding Identity in a Culture of Loneliness. It was the first time I publicly shared about being sexually assaulted my first year of college at UCLA. I had never had a boyfriend before, and the perpetrator was someone I’d known for nearly a year in my Bible study group. He was known among the leaders, and I had thought I’d be safe dating a Christian guy. But I wasn’t.
There’s no easy way to tell that story or ease into it, and though my new book isn’t about sexual assault, I decided to include this incident because every part of our story matters to God. That morning, I boldly recounted the fateful moment I was robbed of my voice and my body was violated because I wanted to share how God’s love and powerful healing took away my shame.
Unspeakable trauma can happen to God’s people, but God provides a way for rescue and healing. I know this because it happened to me, and the statistics tell us, it happens too often to too many people around us — whether that’s someone sitting next to us at church, in our small group, our college class, our workplace, our families, or our circle of friends. There is someone near you who needs to hear your story.
How can others know God loves us when we are broken and feel brokenhearted if we hide our stories of pain? God makes us wounded healers and sends us into the world to love others with the love we received. His healing love knows no bounds.
If this has happened to you or someone you love, I want you to know that God loves you and sees you as valued, respected, and cherished. Your stories of faith, love, and God’s goodness are no less beautiful or celebrated because a perpetrator once did an unspeakable wrong to wound you. God is at work making something beautiful in your life even in the middle of your hard moments, whether that be in dating, marriage, health, ministry, or parenting. God holds you close and guides you toward healing.
Psalm 34:18 says, “The Lord is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” There is hope because God treasures you unconditionally and there is no hurt so deep that God cannot heal.
What was meant for harm God’s love transformed for good. And the fire you’ve walked through with God’s love may be the light someone else needs.
When we tell the truth, the truth sets us free, so we can set others free. This is how God makes beauty out of brokenness — by allowing His love to flow through us to others.
Isn’t that what Jesus did for us when He was betrayed, when He wept in the Garden of Gethsemane before His death? He thought of you and me, with each agonizing step He took dragging the cross, with each labored breath He took as He hung on the cross. He didn’t want us to carry the shame. Our loving Jesus carried it on the cross so we wouldn’t have to. And because of Him, we are free!
I leave you with these powerful Scripture passages that I share in my book so you can be empowered to shine His light of power and love today:
Therefore, I will gladly boast about my weaknesses, so that the power of Christ may rest in me.
2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
[People do not] light a lamp and put it under a bowl. Instead they put it on its stand and it gives light to everyone.. In the same way, let your light shine.
Mattew 5:15-16 (NIV)
You are living testimony of God’s love. Shine brightly without shame and without fear, for you are His beloved.
Thank you for this wisdom. Eagerly anticipating the arrival of the book as I am seeking hope in the current darkness surrounding me.
Hi Rebecca, thank you for taking Sweet Like Jasmine into your hands and heart! I am confidant you will feel renewed with hope as you read, because I share all the encouragement that gave me hope – to empower you! Did you know I’m hosting a private Book Club so women can share their stories and encourage each other as we read together? Please join in — support is so important, friend! You can sign up at sweetlikejasmine.com!
Bonnie, Your courage and authentic proclamation of God’s love and care is an inspiration! After reading your book, I learned even more instances of God’s walking with you through more challenges in your self discovery. Thank you for sharing your whole story and including the sexual assault, because God has used harm for good!
Thank you so much for your affirming words — that’s the biggest blessing an author can receive to know the stories I share are inspiring and sparking God’s love and power of hope through it’s pages!! It’s wonderful to have you in the book club, Joan!
Beautiful, Bonnie- thank you.
If you haven’t heard “He Has Time” by Common Hymnal, listen to it. It’s about this issue-
Oh, thank you, Janet! I’m going there right now to go listen to it!
Bonnie, I am so sorry that you were violated. I’m also so encouraged by the power of your testimony and reminding us all that God is present with us always and our trauma is not outside of His reach or care. Thank you. Love you, friend.
thank you, Becky! It’s a gift to share our stories of God’s love and triumph — we can be brave with the support of sisters in Christ! You are a gift to my heart, beautiful Becky!
Thank you for your transparency! Ache for your trauma & rejoice with God’s redemption power in you & being spread to others! Blessings upon blessings!
The lights shines brightest in the dark places – God is here with us always! He loves us! Thank you, Ruth for your words of blessing!! So grateful for your kindness!
God Bless Your Heart Bonnie,
Love & Prayers
Sandy
Thank you, Sandy for your kind words of blessing!!
Bonnie,
Thank you so much for sharing your story with the world. People need to hear our stories so they can know they aren’t alone in their suffering. He wants us to minister to others & share His light & love. The best way to do that is to share your testimony of how God met you in your trial. While you are walking this journey of trauma/trials Jesus is right beside you walking with you all the way. He is sending His love to you. Please don’t be afraid to tell others your story. You just might be the saving grace they need to find Jesus.
Blessings 🙂
Amen!! Thank you for your kind words of blessing, Beth! God’s love made real when we shine our real stories of his love and beauty out of brokenness!
This was absolutely amazing! To God Be The Glory for your obedience to share your story as it was confirmation to my evening talk with a young kid who God lead me to encourage through my testimony.
thank you, Erica, for your amazing sharing with your evening talk with a young kid!! As I share in my book — it was the kindness of 1-1 people taking time to share their testimony that I heard the voice of Jesus– using their stories and testimony!! You’re shaping a life wiht your life-giving words and story!! I’m cheering you on, sister!
Thank you for your courage…..
thank you for your kind words, Michaele, dear sister! We are made brave together as sisters in Christ!
I hope that someone reading your story has the courage to come forward for care. Your story is horrific and may it encourage anyone who has trauma in their life to know that God loves them. Thank you.
Thank you Bonnie, for sharing your story. I wrote a story for my great grandson during the onset of Covid 19 plague. “Three Brother Pups” is the title. The whole book is downloaded by The Holy Spirit to save the children. Published by Trilogy Publishing Company. Yes, I would we share our testimonies to help our family of God. Amen and Hallelujah. I would appreciate a copy of your free journal. Thank you.